Monday 25 November 2013

Vanilla, Strawberry or Chocolate?

There are 3 constants in life: change, choice and principles

 


Choosing wisely can often be a balancing act between all three...

As a general rule, whenever I have a problem to solve, I write out the "pros" and "cons"  for each option - the good old fashioned way.  Decision making is a risky thing especially when making it for Another and even worse if that Another is your horse whose desires we can only make an educated guess about. 

Most of us tend to share our problems with friends and family  believing a "problem shared is a problem halved".  If we stopped there it might be a helpful strategy.  Typically, we continue to share - canvassing the opinion of everyone we know (or don't know) leaving us more confused than before!  Bottom line we end up like many a poor marketing slogan - unimaginative, uninspired and with an outcome that lacks relevance or sells products. In other words it doesn't help us to make a choice!

Tonight a friend is in need. She has a decision to make - to move her horse to Yard A or to Yard B.

Yard A gives her proximity to her own home.  Yard B does not.

Yard A gives her a focus on Dressage which she is interested in developing.  Yard B offers her expertise in Show Jumping - her first love.

Yard A is a little more expensive, but it's offset with the petrol cost to get to Yard B.

Yard A is large, Yard B is small.

Yard A guarantees 3 hours winter turnout.  Yard B offers more.

Yard A has hacking around the property.  Yard B is limited.

....On it goes!  Quickly it becomes an impossible decision comparing appels with bananas.  Unless you fancy knocking up an excel spreadsheet, applying a weighting factor to each criteria to get a mathematical decision, you'll be going up and down like a game of snakes and ladders.


Choice is a good thing - one great yard over another - a nice problem to have (in a way).  But circumstances rarely allow us to feel the joy of Yard Shopping. In this case the circumstances that are forcing the change concern the well being and health of her horse who has Grade 3 (out of 4) ulcers as pictured below:


The only option left (to help with decision making) is to consider the principles of the situation. In this case I suggest TRUST!
 
By way of background, suffice it to say that her current yard has not been fulfilling it's side of the agreement: feeds missed, drugs not administered, turn out not happening, the owners wishes being usurped by those who believe they know better and arrogantly do what they want, not what the owner and paying customer wants. 

A sadly familiar tale where the staff take over the running of your horse!  Nothing is more frustrating and upsetting than the feeling that your horse is slipping away from you in front of you! Especially when in the hands of people who reach for Bute at the first sign of poor performance!

Every horse owner knows the worry, stress and angst caused when you have to entrust the care of your horse into the hands and watchful eyes of someone else. Like mothers handing over their young to day care or a nanny, every day is coloured by the dread of that unwanted text!

Whether your horse has 'special needs' or not, whether he is easy to care for or not, you have to be able to trust that it will be done to the best standard and as good as you could do it yourself.  How do you know if you've found a carer capable of that?

Client testimonials is one way (not when the Yard Manager is standing close by).  Gut feel is another.  Check out that you have a 'like minded' spirit with the same values is a third.  Values such as integrity, respect, honesty.  If you know what your values are, it's easier to identify the same values (or not) in others. 

I value and look for teamwork! If it helps, here's what I consider important:

(Together we achieve more)

Do I believe Yard manager A or B is the better team player?  They don't have to be the best in the business but will we be in 'sync'?
  1. Will we both put in equal effort to the relationship to make it a success?  
  2. Do we share common values?
  3. Will he/she respect and act upon my wishes?  
  4. Is this someone I want to work with?
  5. Are we likely to pull in the same direction?  
  6. Do I want this person to be part of my team and my life, everyday? 
  7. Do I feel like an EQUAL around him/her?   Will he/she treat me as such?
  8. Am I interested in their perspective but am safe in the knowledge that the care for my horse won't suffer if I chose NOT to follow their way?  
  9. Does he/she want to learn about my horse's ways, likes and dislikes?
  10. Do we have the same goal for my horse? Health, happiness and fun!

Personally, I try to steer away from joining yards with so called (often self proclaimed) 'experts'  who tell you how much they know!  The proof of the pudding is in the eating! Ultimately your horse and his health will demonstrate how much the humans around him really do understand horse's and their needs. Our eyes don't deceive us and our horse's behaviour is all the feedback we need.

When I lived in America I found the 37 flavours of ice cream a nightmare to chose from - 2 is a problem, 3 is a dilemma etc. My decision was to avoid ice cream for desert and ended up eating proper puds and piling on the calories!

The moral of my 'ice cream' story is that there is often a negative consequence for abstaining from decision making  - change is a constant!  As yards rarely offer us "try before you buy", TRUST becomes an important differentiator.  Trusting ourselves and our judgement;  trusting our instinct, and being able to size up others.   Knowing that here is a yard where we can just be ourselves and enjoy our time with our horse.

It's hard to 'be' with our horses if we aren't at ease 'being' with ourselves.  A good yard manager should help us find that personal haven, and nurture it for our daily exercise and delight.

I wish my friend a good nights sleep dreaming about Yard A or  B, to wake up tomorrow with the clarity that sometimes only sleep can bring. 

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1 comment:

  1. Anonymous3 December 2013 at 21:55

    Yard C - on your own! Ha ha!

    Seriously, though, that is such a helpful piece. The pros and cons don't work for me - it's like saying 'one has better oranges but the other has better apples' - and it doesn't help me. Your suggestion about values and trust though hits the spot. Thanks x

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