Meetings and Horses!

The reason why "Meetings with our horses"  fail to work...

Most meetings fail because they don’t have an agenda right?  Without an agenda there can be a lack of structure and unclear desired outcomes which ultimately results in pointless blah blah, confusion and a waste of time.

Most meetings fail because they do have an agenda!  Uh?   The problem with an agenda is that for all the plus points it offers, it usually results in one of two probably outcomes:-

Discussion and results are controlled and manipulated to suit the desired outcomes inherent in the thinking and planning that went into the agenda 

and/or 
 
No one listens!  As soon as there is an agenda listening becomes sporadic and selective.  We tune in only when we want to or need to.  We don’t really listen to others and build on their views preferring to wait for an opportunity to say what we wanted to say that we've been rehearsing since we read the agenda!

So how do 'Meetings' relate to our horses?

Every interaction you have with your horse is like a meeting.  As the human we tend to do the  deciding about what we really want and need as outcomes from our interactions with our horse.

But if we want to connect (really connect) with the horse which means seeing things from their view point before pushing on them ours -  then it stands to reason we have to drop the need for an agenda. (See why above).

After all, 'connection' with another human or a horse comes from listening and putting aside all of our own desired outcomes. Connection comes from being prepared to go with the flow and see where it takes you. Connection means being willing to listen and to give up on you intention and desire in that moment.   

Bottom line If you want to connect with your horse, shut up, and listen!  i.e. have no agenda.

Is there an argument in favour of an agenda? If you want your horse to fulfil a specific need or activity then you may believe an agenda has a role to play.  You may believe that your agenda blossoming with activity and milestones will help you.  In fact the agenda (it’s activities and milestones) all too often will take over and communication and connection falls by the wayside.   

Bottom line you achieve less of what you wanted.  You may also be sowing unhelpful seeds for reaping later depending on  ‘how’ you achieved your agenda and if in doing so it had adverse consequences for the future.

Such adverse consequences include tightness, resistance, boredom, resentment, pressure, feeling helpless and bully-ed – and that’s just how the horse is feeling!

What do I mean by consequences; now or in the future?  At some point if you keep getting dragged to meetings, asked for your view, then not listened to you’ll stop bothering right?! You'll  stop contributing at all, stop showing up mentally (or maybe eventually physically too).  For sure you will  be default stop growing and gaining insight, fail to achieve and reach your potential.

Bottom line - you don't evolve, others don't evolve and more than likely future meetings begin to sound the same!  Now imagine that from the horse's perspective!  Not a pretty thought for your next schooling session is it?  So, find a way to be interesting for your horse and most importantly be interested IN your horse.

Who is he/she? What signals is he/she emitting today?  Whats normal, what's not?  What does your gut tell you to offer your horse to do?  Do you offer or is what you do non negotiable?  Think about how you show to your horse that you value him/her and what he/has has to offer before laying down demands and expectations.  Just see who shows up today and go from there.....!  It may be one of the best meetings you ever been in!