A little 'Self Examination'

Have you ever paused to wonder ...

Am I a good pupil?    

 

 

Does my trainer look forward to our lessons? 

Do you ever stop to think about whether or not you are good to be around ?  Think of it from both the perspective of our horses, and from that of other humans.  

What makes a pupil (of anything) a good one?  A pupil is a "person who is taught by another" says the dictionary.  Whether or not we are easy to teach and are there to learn,  is therefore at the heart of being a good pupil.  

Rarely would a rational person disagree with that, although some do enter a room or menage with the attitude of "go on then; show me what you got"!  (Heads up - these people are NOT easy to teach and are NOT there to learn, so do everyone a favour, say 'no thanks' and leave - right away)!!

As a corporate trainer, and sports coach I am often asked or expected to teach something to someone.  In my teaching and coaching experience the following two principles are mission critical in any teaching process:-

Principle No. 1 : The pupil MUST WANT to learn, change and/ or be taught! 

Principle No. 2: The pupil must know the difference between honesty and excuses!

... Without these, everyone is wasting their time (and usually their money, or reputation)!

It's not about being studious, a book worm or tyring to please the teacher.  It is about being open minded, and willing to listen; to try something out and analyse the result, honestly; taking accountability for your part in the learning process and the result achieved (or not).

Sounds simple, yet how often in riding lessons do you witness a rider really listening and trying to learn?  Rarely!  So many riders have 'an answer for everything', an excuse ready to explain why they won't try something,  or they have the memory of an elephant to justify the last time 6 years ago when..... and it didn't work!

I want to curl up and die when I hear riders explaining away (after trying something new) the lack of desired result, blaming the horse and never themselves.  You hear reams of rubbish pouring out of them including:-

'he/ she (their horse) isn't in the mood today'

'isn't able to concentrate'

 'has been grumpy all day'

or 

'she remembers the last time when we did this and it didn't  ....'

  
How do you spot a good pupil or better still, become one?

The answer is SPAT!

Stop, Pause, Assess, Think  = Listen and Learn!

STOP = First, check your understanding of what you were supposed to do and what you actually did do!  Get your trainers feedback to help you with this step.

PAUSE = Analyse the result you got. Don't focus on the part that went wrong or frustrated you.  Again get feedback from your trainer to keep things in perspective.  This is your limbo moment before judgement and action.  It should simply be about stating the facts.

ASSESS = Commit to doing it again, but this time identify one thing you will do differently and be clear what that one thing is, change only that!

 THINK = Slow everything down, don't rush the moves.  Think each element through in turn, slowly and visualise it happening as it should, then prepare and do it!

Make no mistake most of the stuff we riders come out with is utter rubbish, excuses and anything but the truth - we simply don't realise it.

I have such empathy for trainers and riding instructors who must spend so much of their time feeling like running screaming from the arena in search of a brick wall to hit their head against!  

Don't be the one that takes your trainer to the brink!

At the same time,  I confess to getting very angry when I hear a trainer placating the rider, agreeing with their 'self spun yarn of rubbish' and as a result, doing a dis-service to the poor horse getting drilled to boredom till the rider 'gets it'!  

Am I being too tough, unforgiving and lacking in compassion?  Perhaps.  My preference is that for those pupils (bright or not) who really are trying to learn and who show their vulnerability and admit their failings - will get buckets of compassion, good will and lots more from me.  Those who don't can go and waste their money with a coach who likes to do 'bad business', over and over and over and as perhaps they both enjoy listening to the sound of their own voices.

Thinking through one of my favourite quotes...

" Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"

 ... makes me ask ' what will you do in your next lesson to be a great pupil?  How much could you learn if a 'different you' showed up?  Just how much could your horse fall back in love with lessons and learning if you arrived mentally ready to learn too?