Those "Madge" Moments we need to loose!

“As you think, so shall you become.” ~ Bruce Lee

I read today that Madonna fell backwards off a stage during a live performance this week.  After the initial shock of thinking how awful and how embarrassing, I found myself thinking " must look it up on you tube!"

Who am I to think like that?  I am presumably one of hundreds of thousand of others about to actively seek out someone else's drama and misfortune - don't I have enough of my own? 

I think most of us can think of a time when someone's misery helped us to feel better about ourselves or our own life.  This need for drama and problems is not a healthy way of life, let me explain why ...

Anyone who owns a pet small or large, knows of the fear of being away from home and have something happen to their beloved companion.  Not being able to get there, not being able to help or do much of anything at all can drive you slowly out of your mind and right off the idea of a holiday...

"Holiday!  Holiday! What holiday!  I'll spend the entire 2 weeks worrying; it'll be no rest for me"  (I have both felt this and said it, many times over).

Be careful what we say - 

The thoughts we hold onto and express 

 draw to us the very things we wish to avoid!

Until now, I've been lucky on holiday with no major dramas, although last year I did return at this time of year to a very underweight solar sue - I literally don't think she ate for two weeks (another story).

This year, on a new yard, before leaving my herd of horses the yard manager and I agreed once more the protocol - she'd send me lots of messages, updates and photos all courtesy of whats app, and in the event of a problem, I would receive a phone call.

Wednesday morning, day 4 of my 2 week holiday and I had been up since 6.30am writing my blog inspired once again after a small spell in the doldrums.

Life was feeling good! I was back on track....

Then, at lunchtime, a missed call from the yard!  I abseiled into full blown, heart pounding panic and hit 'redial' as fast as I was breathing.

It's good to hear the words "it's ok, don't panic"  (even though it was much too late for that),  but never good to be told one of your horses has jumped out of her field and galloped round the property and now isn't moving 'right'.

Your imagination takes over.  It took every strength of my being to try to sound calm and to pull together logical fact finding questions to understand what we were dealing with as a result.

It could have gone one of two ways:-

1) a broken leg, lots of cuts, bust tendon the works,

or,

2) No visible injuries -a lucky escape!

Grace had somehow managed to achieve choice number 2!  Thank you Grace, God, anyone and everyone! 

A dressage horse, without a blemish on her after taking on a wooden fence in my mind constitutes a miracle!  It was impressively fortunate yet that hadn't dawned on me yet!

Somehow she had managed to jump the fence line, come to a dead halt on landing, to avoid falling into an open ditch, then gallop (barefoot) around the property over tons of tarmac chippings recently laid for a new road way for the cars, before being caught!

Every inch of her had been thoroughly checked over.  She had received extra love and affection from the humans looking after her who described her as apparently 'quite pleased with herself'!

As a distant phone partner in the care of my herd we agreed some key steps for the next 24 hours:-

1. Offer her Comfrey and Devils Claw Root (for bruising and pain relief)

2. Place a bucket of Neroli oil outside her stable (as her leap of flight was prompted by Essy and Solar being brought in from the adjoining field,  so I assumed some separation anxiety might be going on)

3. Turn out for movement and relaxation - Chelsea suggested close to the house for safe watching

4. Body work - As Chelsea could feel a twinge in Grace's back on palpation she would book Ruth our massage queen for a few days time, to allow things to get slightly worse or to calm down

It didn't feel like a vet could be much help at this stage even though she was not 'moving right'.  We both suspected her feet are sore having jumped onto stones and uneven ground, and then galloped over rough terrain.  Again nothing that Kat the podiatrist could do at this stage either.

Time will be our best friend at this stage to assess progress - hopefully forwards.

I came off the phone feeling there was a clear plan in place.  Always my comfort blanket!  I also had another nagging thought to contact an animal communicator (more of that to follow).

Two hours after the call. I was heading for my first Reiki session of the holiday.  Interesting timing!

My walk to the pavilion was spent trying to list all the things to be grateful for in the circumstances:-

1. - Grace was ok
2. - No broken legs
3. - No blood, tears, injured knees or torn tendons
4. - No apparent stress on Grace's behalf after the event
5. - No other horse was involved or injured
6. - No one to blame (always a good thing as that can make life ugly)
7. - She is in great care and great hands
8. - I trust Chelsea's judgement 100% - I am a lucky lady!

On arriving at the Pavilion my stomach resembled a know of vipers and I felt no better despite my mental list of things to be grateful for.

I told Jean -Michel what had happened.  He listened.  He nodded.  He smiled then said:-

"you know sometimes we have to let go.... 

sometimes we have to accept, and this is your lesson now"

It's amazing how a few words spoken with such honest intention can calm a troubled body and mind - especially my mind - fluent in 'worry'.

In that  moment I felt I wanted to show my support and trust in Chelsea and to not pass the responsibility to her, but to let her know I was not going to try to interfere.  Ah the Art of Non Interference - there's a book in it's own right one day!  

Jean Michel's words resonated on another level as I found myself admitting that "sometimes I forget to be grateful and focus on problems and having them!" It's shocking to listen to your own words and realise I am a "drama junky!"  I had 8 good reasons NOT to panic, not to fill my body and mind with  this knot of negative emotion, yet still my focus was on the drama of not being there and not being able to 'fix' things and on the bad timing of the bad news.

The consequences of this simple unconscious choice were as follows:-

• I chose solitude, to be alone with my thoughts.  
• My husband had to endure the same and ate his lunch by the pool also alone.
• I went into self pity - "why now, why today, just when I was feeling inspired again?"
• My stomach was in physical knots
• I felt sick and couldn't think straight
• I got lost going in circles wondering why she would suddenly jump out of a field? 

and,

• I had an unpleasant and childlike need for everyone around me to 'know I had received back news' - I had turned into Mrs Victim!

Becareful where we chose to put our energy and our thoughts;

they will take us to many unforeseen places - some lacking in beauty!

What drives this need for drama? 

 

I wish I could say that I was able to see the funny or amusing side of Grace's adventures having heard she was after all, alive and relatively unharmed.

I can not take such credit! It seems I have not yet grown enough as a fully functioning adult; fully responsible for my emotions, to do so, but the journey I am on - thanks to my Horses - is hopefully revealing my development plan toute de suite!

I can say that over recent years the level of need I have for drama is less than it used to be - thank goodness!  That is evident in my life's good fortune and many blessings that surround me.  Yet still the need is clearly there  - lurking in the morning mist waiting to bury my resilience and obscure my faith.

It is this matter of FAITH that is fast becoming the focus of my thinking for Essy's Wishes - faith and miracles.  Lots of miracles!

Run for the hills!

In life we are all one

Life is no accident

Life is full of synchronicity

Life's coincidences are attention grabbers

Life's reality is exactly as you want it - warts and all

These may not be the most compelling or enticing sounding phrases. Or, they may fill you with reverie and joy.  It's a choice.  A choice born perhaps from understanding, or from connecting with a deep inner knowing.  When we hear the truth we know it!  We know not why or how...

If this is the first time you are coming across such statements and you are curious, open minded, not afraid by them or dismissive of them, they have connected with you at a soul level, to your unconscious which knows your intended path and life lessons.

Still not running for the hills?  Great, then let me try again....

Nothing is by chance.  

Your day to day experiences reflect your inner thoughts and feelings.

What you put out; you get back

Want change - then be that change first

Want feedback about your life - look around you; who and what do you see

Held back by old beliefs that don't serve you well; change them TODAY!

 Where is this heading?

Two days ago, I told my husband I was lost with my blog Essy's Wishes.  I no longer heard the voice in my head spurring me on, filling me with content.  Things have been eerily quiet for 4 or 5 months.

One day later; yesterday, and a wise teacher and friend I have not seen for 5 months, mentioned that he had looked at my blog just 3 weeks ago. He then stated very simply that it was time for me to step it up a bit (my words not his).  He spoke of the time being right for me to be more "expressive" and to speak "from the heart".  He said it was time to connect other things in my life that are all connected and to share the miracles I've witnessed; horse and human. 

It is time to widen the agenda and in doing so to connect with new people and lose connection with others.  That is the big picture.  That is the landscape.  In changing the landscape when we can stand back from it, we experience faith.

I have been lacking in faith in human beings and our compassion (or lack of) for some time now, it's felt big and ugly and overwhelming. 

So, as life would have it and as the statements above suggest, there are no accidents or coincidences; everything is by design, our own creation and it's time to share  that in glorious technicolour.

....."when the pupil is ready the teacher will appear"

24 short hours and synchronicity is at work, and my teacher's words are well received by me, and I hope by you.

I have thanked my angels accordingly!  (Now you're running right....!)

New Years Resolutions be Gone - New You, On it's way!

Rumour has it that by now, early February most of us have abandoned our New Year Resolutions aimed at creating a "new me".

Worry not!  There is more than one way to a better you!

Meta physicians award each year with a theme.  These themes relate to a massive spiritual, emotional, and physical transition that the world is going through, driven in large by us humans!

The theme for 2015 is Remembrance meaning remembering!

2015 is about defining the year and defining the future, and ourselves along the way!

Sometimes I think that many humans have horses (or spend time with them) to help us find ourselves - past or present!   They bring out in us buried feelings of loneliness, anger, despair, hope and happiness. 

The meta physicians will tell us that the important elements of 2015 includes:-

-  revitalising

-  respecting

-  re-discovering and,

-  renewing

Horses, I believe, if we are open to the notion, can help us connect with each of the elements important for this year.  Horses not our shrinks, convenience stores or pharmaceutical drugs can put the disparate pieces of our lives ,and who we truly are, back together again. 

Wouldn't it be a wonderful new BHS code for us all to follow in our dealings with horses if we acknowledged how much they have to offer us for our future well being?

Revitalise: Have you ever noticed how much horses revitalise our spirit, our senses and our energy?

Respect: What if we truly acted towards horses with respect - focusing on their needs and rights, in how we care for them and hopefully keep them for life?

Re-discover: Business ventures have been born out of merging the world of healing and leadership development through interaction with horses.  In summary, such interventions enable dysfunctional adolescents and wayward Executives to re-discover themselves with a view to making personal change.

Renewing: Every hour spent with a horse is a renewal process with no end in sight.  No matter how tired, stressed, physically aching or mentally distracted I am; time spent with my herd always releases a new and improved me! 

Now that's a code to live life by!

In my work with riders I always start by asking them to remember why they ride as it will influence the things we set in motion.  It empowers us.  It is fuel for our imagination, it takes us back to our childhood or latterly explored need for freedom. 

Remembering tones our gratitude like a muscle! Horses help us come home to ourselves, remembering who we truly are, which helps us become more of whom we want to become!

Before we get "there" we often have to wade through our past - namely our memories (real or distorted) - and this can feel like crawling through mud!  Yet, crawl we must in order to seek the prize called clarity.  To be stronger in ourselves and have the courage of our convictions, we have to be able to free up our passions and that again, can have it's origins in our past.

Mud + Clarity + Passion = Stronger us!

In an earlier post I mused (briefly) on the notion of a world without horses.  In an even earlier post than that, I wrote about a small herd of abandoned ponies close to my home.  Both posts raise questions of commitment and determination.  Where have such qualities gone?  Do we have enough of either, anymore? 

When we abandon or sell our horses because we can't handle them or they can't give us what we want - do we have the resolve to persist?  How do you know your vision of 'moving on' and 'passing him/her on' is the right one?

I ask this because time after time I see riders sell a 'problem horse', acquire another blemish free one in it's place only to find that 6 months later the perfect horse has developed into another 'problem horse'.  We will only find a true fix to this dilemma, when we develop a real desire to unravel the current reality we experience with horses or with fellow humans.

Horse selling is too often nothing more than an optimistic hope - whimsical and lacking substance. A desperate hope by its last resort nature is always weak hope.

What's the root cause of our false hope?  Often it's lack of trust - in ourselves and others. What gets in the way of us developing that trust includes impatience! We want things to work quickly, change must happen now which demands action - often without thought or depth of understanding behind them.

I have come to believe that horses, other animals and nature in general all help us to rediscover trust and encourage us to remember a time when the world was more simple!

Time spent with horses and nature is how we will find the space we need for our own recovery.  

As well as being a year about remembrance and remembering, it is also a year with an '8' vibration - meaning 'as above so below' - The symbolism of 8 is to balance the material and immaterial worlds.

The year is as spiritual as it is materialistic. Horses at the heart of our lives will play a central role (if we let them) to shake us out of materialism and into our full spiritual selves!

The spiritual side of the 8 is practical, realistic and intelligent - sounds like the nature and true spirit of The Horse, doesn't it?

Will you make 2015 a year to be remembered?

 

Let's make it an incredible year well worth remembering in years to come, for us and our horses!

Where have all the Horses gone?

I've arrived in London and am now sitting in front of  a bowl of steaming porridge, waiting to go into one of those huge, opulent (and life sucking) office towers in the Finance District.  It's a far step away from the farm, freah air and my horses.

Sitting here, it's so easy to slip into a life of on hand cappuccino's, convenience and coffee shops.

For me, what's most important about today is the need to stay connected to my other real life the one beyond jargon strewn sentences and ego filled chairs.  It's on these unproductive 'office days', when I have physically left behind me a world of frost tinged beauty and crisp crunchy earth, that I have to keep reminding myself -  "I''ll be back there tomorrow!" Thank God!

The relief and appreciation I feel knowing city life is temporary, made me ponder today the very opposite scenario and what it would be like, to be in a world without horses.

Nature is in a horse's DNA and their DNA is within Nature.  Species of all sizes, shapes and origins seem to be more alive, aware and in tune with who they are,  than most humans I encounter.  Who has the greater intelligence, really?!

So, imagine a day where horses would no longer exist! As you drive through the countryside, down narrow lanes, fields either side - there's not a horse in sight!

Would you notice?  Would you wonder what happened? Who would care?

I suspect many thousands of us would be devastated, noticing the gaping hole in the landscape and feeling a huge loss and fear of how to fill the casm?

It doesn't worry me on a daily basis per say, yet the readiness with which we misuse nature and her gifts,  in an age of so called 'reason' does make me pause and ponder life without such treasures.  I'm shocked and saddened when children grow up without knowing what a Fox is or looks like.  When children don't play on beaches, in woods, in streams or run through fields.

Grace having fun

So full of life!

On a personal note I couldn't be without horses in my life.  Grace (my youngest horse) is currently 9.  I am 50.  Hoping and expecting that she will live into her late 20's I will be 70!  My husband is horrified at the thought of another 20 years of 'horses first' in my life's priority list!  I remind him he has plenty of time to get used to the idea!

I don't worry about my ability to look after her in her old age.  I just worry that when she's no longer around I'll be too old to take on another.  How would I live?  What will fill my soul every waking hour? What would I fill my time with?  How will I be inspired and rejuvenated on a daily basis?

TV won't ever match up that's for sure.  Clever conversation - well maybe!  It makes me realise the importance of knowing your life's 'calling', purpose and passion - and to fill every waking moment with as much of 'it' as you can get,  until the day we close our eyes for that long deep sleep!

If we could are granted one wish, I hope it would be to keep our horses healthy, happy, and very much an important part of our lives and landscape. They touch is such unexplainable ways and I believe we need that - ours and their freedom is inextricably entwined.  Good!

Turning Despair into Hope for Horses - Keep the positivity going

Despair ...

 "to no longer have any hope or belief that a situation will improve or change"

 

I love Facebook and Social Media 

I hate Facebook and Social Media.

I love being connected to the greater world

I hate being connected to the greater world.

I know I don't live inside a bubble

I wish I lived inside a bubble.

I want to know how others think, love and cherish

I shudder at how little others think, love and cherish.

It's remarkable how quickly your positive thoughts and feelings one moment can deep dive into doom, gloom and despair the next.

I have 4 Facebook pages and anyone can follow any of them whenever you want.  It serves a purpose of capturing thoughtful moments, special occasions, inspiring quotes and a vehicle for some of my blogs.

I find it very hard to receive other people's facebook page images of dead horses, mutilated dogs and abandoned cats, then sleep easy at night!

I'm filled with despair at human kind and where we are heading with such ability to disregard the life and rights of others. Where has all our kindness gone? Where is our compassion?

I suppose that I have not joined up with some who cry out to stop sharing such images in case it does in some way help to raise awareness and spur people into corrective action.  Hope springs eternal!

I have even joined and supported one such group "help the horses of Fosse Park" and joined them to protest last year outside Parliament for better protection for neglected horses.  (See post from last year). 

I have learnt over the years from first hand experience, that with large animals the RSPCA acts only when a horse is actually on the verge of death,  - as happened last night right outside my own home.  This too should change and I wont donate to them until it does.

In addition to last nights tragedy on my door step, I am currently looking after 2 abandoned ponies, plus filly and foal - a total of four gorgeous hungry mouths - also close to my home.  Dragging 60 litres of water into their field each day and spreading a bale of hay out for them is all I can do, but I won't watch them starve to death or die from dehydration when I can do something no matter how small.

Abandoned Mare

With her foal and youngster

Overgrown, neglected hooves on the young gelding

Its such a topsy turvy world: the land owner (where the four under my watch are temporarily residing) does nothing with his land - its disused, full of broken glass bottles, wood pallets, butane gas canisters, and general debris.   There's no proper fencing to keep livestock off the road.  Yet, he's put a sign up (as is his right) warning that these horses will be removed if not claimed and taken.  Why?  What harm are these four doing?  Of course he is right to be worried, as 4 small ponies today, could easily become 10 or 24 in a matter of days or weeks...  

... It seems we abandon our horses as easily as we discard our litter all over the road side.

There are days when it gets to me and seems overwhelming.  There is such a sense of hopelessness as people all over the country report via social media similar problems and sightings of animals in plight. 

Is this the slippery slope down for mankind, how much further south can we head?

I hope not.   I chose (on most days) to believe not.  Each bad day, where I'm having doubts an 'angel' seems to appear in some form or fashion.  Take yesterday,  as I fed and watered the four 'strays' two men (strangers), approached wanting to know if the horses were mine.  One had brought a bag of carrots and another a small container of water for them.  I wanted to smile at the 3 litres of water for 4 animals thinking - that's not really worth bothering, but I answered their questions and thanked them for their help.  

The joy and relief to know other people will help and do whatever they can - however small is priceless; a tonic.  People do what they can, with what resource they have, and using what knowledge they possess, it's not up to those of us who may know a little more to go around putting others down with our facts and know how.

I am blessed to know people like Margrit Coates and Chris Day who remind me of the need to be positive around horses especially those that are suffering.  To be, as the quote above suggests  that bright 'light' for them in that moment.

Last night, as I drove off and rounded the corner, the Police and RSPCA were in attendance of a distressed horse they had now put out of it's misery. A woman walking her dog passed the field and  saw the horse in distress and called everyone she could think of.  She was wrapped in a blanket clearly in shock at what she had witnessed.

Life can be a cruel awakening if you are blanketed from it's reality.

These are the moments where hope is restored and where one by one each of us really can make a difference.  I expect that lady didn't sleep well last night but I hope in her heart she knows she did good today!  She did something, she took action and helped a horse in need.  

Now all we have to do is to start finding ways to take action BEFORE horses suffer so needlessly.  

If you feel you haven't done enough yet to raise your voice to support horses after all they have done for mankind through wars, agriculture, policing and sports, or simply because you see their beauty, and feel the wisdom in their eyes,  you can do something NOW.

On Valentines Day there will be a further protest in London.  Further details are on the dedicated Facebook page.

Join in! What have you got to lose? 

Both horses and humans have so much dignity to re-gain.

Heavy frost adds to the beauty

Today is a new day.  Tomorrow will be too.  I thank goodness for nature, for landscapes such as this morning and for heavy frosts that lace your eyes with a freshness that inspires hope. 

This morning's slow sun rise

Vicious Circles and Red Shoes

Have you ever glanced out of a car window and caught a glimpse of something on the other side of the road that reminds you of how far away from your real life you are, right now?

I was being driven along a Belgium highway the A102 heading to Brussels airport, on a rainy afternoon, and on the opposite side of the carriageway I saw a car pulling a horse trailer and in a nano second I heard my thoughts cluster into a mass of "there's my other life -  the real me going past"!

"IT" (your real life) can sometimes seem so far away.  At my side was a designer handbag and briefcase, IPhone, Mac laptop  and swaths of budget documents. I was destined for a London meeting scheduled in a few hours time. How important I must be - being chauffeur driven at speed to my next appointment in an other country! Yet, in fact how very unimportantt I actually felt in life's grand scheme of things and my overall life's purpose.

In that moment, where would I rather have been - 'suited and booted' in a speeding car or pulling a horse trailer in my muck boots and baseball cap?  How did I get to be so far away from my 'True North?'

The answer is complex.  The more horses I have the more I have to leave them to work to pay for them, watching others enjoy nature and being outdoors.  To stop working means no horses, hence the vicious circle!  Agghhh!   If only I could find my red shoes to take me back home!

Some say... 'be careful what you ask for in life....' To prove a point within just a few months of that rainy thought provoking drive,  I was looking after 9 horses (including my own herd of 3), 24 x 7 for 8 straight days.  

The physical regime was a shock to the system for sure.  Not just the mucking out, muck heap stepping, and yard sweeping but all the walking involved!  I had my step counter going and cranked up between 22,000 and 31,000 steps a day! Needless to say I shed some pounds, toned up legs and arms and inherited a few deep shoulder knots - all very welcome losses and gains!

It felt fantastic to be outside all day long.  I felt alive and inspired unlocking gates at 7am before daylight, on my own with only the dawn's chorus of crows keeping me company.

I loved the end of the day, doing late night checks, just me and the horses, everyone relaxed and quietly munching hay.  I'd never have known hay munching could sound so relaxing over-shadowed only by the call of night Owls. 

It was a treat to find my guys snoozing peacefully in their beds  - I too slept like a baby!

Essy

I guess we discover a few things about ourselves when we leap into someone else's shoes and life for a week.

Inside the boots of a yard manager revealed the immense responsibility that comes with looking after other people's horses and property.  You watch every cloud and study every TV weather forecast for signs you need to lock down anything the wind could take, or vary the horse's routine for tomorrow.  At times being on your own you realise the risks you take - of injury, accident or just hitting problems on your own.

Then there's the daily challenge of "Rug Management" which in my view should be a compulsory curriculum topic at school. There's all the different weights, liners, neck attachments, leg straps, belly straps, breaking straps, rugs that dry over night and rugs that don't.

It was a unique experience to have friends and family turn up at work to help out!  In my corporate day job there's no way 'the old woman' could show up and chip in!

Here she is collecting rubbish, and climbing fences en route to filling in rabbit holes!

Old Woman at Work!

Old Woman fence climbing at 76!

It's also heartwarming and inspiring when someone else's mum turns up for a morning's hard labour for some muck heap compression!

Muck Heap Jumping!

I did learn that when you spend 28 years of your life in one career, it's hard to leave it totally behind you as you step into another line of work.  For me, it was impossible not to turn each day into a tightly managed agenda with each activity timed to precision to make sure each day was fully productive.

Given another week at the helm and I like to think I'd have found the space to let go of thoughts of productivity and efficiency but who knows, maybe that habit is a part of my personality and drive, and nothing to do with my chosen career?

I'd have lost a lot more weight too - a great feeling to fit in clothes comfortably and not crave sugar and food all day long despite such a physical workout!

It's good to try your hand at something new.  I felt lucky to have a brief glimpse into a lifestyle I've often wondered if I could do.  Would I want to, long term?  Could I do it?  Its been a privilege and honour to have some up to date insight to help me work all that out.....!

My final thanks for a great week in my life go to my herd and Mr Esquire for keeping us all going with a friendly nudge and cuddle -  when we were ready to drop!

Essy Demanding Cuddles!

A little 'Self Examination'

Have you ever paused to wonder ...

Am I a good pupil?    

 

 

Does my trainer look forward to our lessons? 

Do you ever stop to think about whether or not you are good to be around ?  Think of it from both the perspective of our horses, and from that of other humans.  

What makes a pupil (of anything) a good one?  A pupil is a "person who is taught by another" says the dictionary.  Whether or not we are easy to teach and are there to learn,  is therefore at the heart of being a good pupil.  

Rarely would a rational person disagree with that, although some do enter a room or menage with the attitude of "go on then; show me what you got"!  (Heads up - these people are NOT easy to teach and are NOT there to learn, so do everyone a favour, say 'no thanks' and leave - right away)!!

As a corporate trainer, and sports coach I am often asked or expected to teach something to someone.  In my teaching and coaching experience the following two principles are mission critical in any teaching process:-

Principle No. 1 : The pupil MUST WANT to learn, change and/ or be taught! 

Principle No. 2: The pupil must know the difference between honesty and excuses!

... Without these, everyone is wasting their time (and usually their money, or reputation)!

It's not about being studious, a book worm or tyring to please the teacher.  It is about being open minded, and willing to listen; to try something out and analyse the result, honestly; taking accountability for your part in the learning process and the result achieved (or not).

Sounds simple, yet how often in riding lessons do you witness a rider really listening and trying to learn?  Rarely!  So many riders have 'an answer for everything', an excuse ready to explain why they won't try something,  or they have the memory of an elephant to justify the last time 6 years ago when..... and it didn't work!

I want to curl up and die when I hear riders explaining away (after trying something new) the lack of desired result, blaming the horse and never themselves.  You hear reams of rubbish pouring out of them including:-

'he/ she (their horse) isn't in the mood today'

'isn't able to concentrate'

 'has been grumpy all day'

or 

'she remembers the last time when we did this and it didn't  ....'

  
How do you spot a good pupil or better still, become one?

The answer is SPAT!

Stop, Pause, Assess, Think  = Listen and Learn!

STOP = First, check your understanding of what you were supposed to do and what you actually did do!  Get your trainers feedback to help you with this step.

PAUSE = Analyse the result you got. Don't focus on the part that went wrong or frustrated you.  Again get feedback from your trainer to keep things in perspective.  This is your limbo moment before judgement and action.  It should simply be about stating the facts.

ASSESS = Commit to doing it again, but this time identify one thing you will do differently and be clear what that one thing is, change only that!

 THINK = Slow everything down, don't rush the moves.  Think each element through in turn, slowly and visualise it happening as it should, then prepare and do it!

Make no mistake most of the stuff we riders come out with is utter rubbish, excuses and anything but the truth - we simply don't realise it.

I have such empathy for trainers and riding instructors who must spend so much of their time feeling like running screaming from the arena in search of a brick wall to hit their head against!  

Don't be the one that takes your trainer to the brink!

At the same time,  I confess to getting very angry when I hear a trainer placating the rider, agreeing with their 'self spun yarn of rubbish' and as a result, doing a dis-service to the poor horse getting drilled to boredom till the rider 'gets it'!  

Am I being too tough, unforgiving and lacking in compassion?  Perhaps.  My preference is that for those pupils (bright or not) who really are trying to learn and who show their vulnerability and admit their failings - will get buckets of compassion, good will and lots more from me.  Those who don't can go and waste their money with a coach who likes to do 'bad business', over and over and over and as perhaps they both enjoy listening to the sound of their own voices.

Thinking through one of my favourite quotes...

" Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"

 ... makes me ask ' what will you do in your next lesson to be a great pupil?  How much could you learn if a 'different you' showed up?  Just how much could your horse fall back in love with lessons and learning if you arrived mentally ready to learn too?