I Told You So!

“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” 

~ Khalil Gibran

At 4.00pm on October 22nd it was my turn for results! 

I sat with the doctor as she read my heart results, examined them and then spoke to me. 

 I had no idea what her words meant and when she paused I politely asked "and in a language I'll understand?"

She smiled and said, "your heart is ok"!

Long story short whatever the heart problem I had, was no more!  It had left.  Gone, vanished! 

The relief was both indescribable and somehow slightly predictable. I smiled, a deep knowing smile! Jean Michel's faith, my daily meditation, my helping another in need,  had all played a part in this new miracle! 

It felt fantastic! I felt fantastic!  I felt 10 years younger...

No one likes a show off or smarty-pants and we all dislike people who go around saying " I told you so...” However, this was one of those occasions where I would have welcomed a moment with Jean Michel back in Mauritius and I would have insisted that he say to me "see; I told you so"!  

Of course he never would be so arrogant,  but it amused me to imagine the moment!  

 

Even though I had deliberately maintained a very low profile and confidential status on the topic of my worrying heart, I also knew that blogging about it was also the right thing to do.  I felt compelled to keep a written record, most of which is captured in this blog.

It's funny how just when you thought you had got away with something, you are presented with a new reality.  I was pleased that I had not troubled other family members with my worries.  Now, there was no need for them to ever know and I could move on.  That was, until dinner time....

My husband and I like to share dinner making duties, especially if my husband prefers his food not to be burnt and to land on the plate versus the floor!  This evening was no exception to the norm.  Until, he suddenly asked me

"are you ok?"

"Sorry?" I replied.  "What do you mean?"

He put his arms around me and said "you've been far away over recent weeks, distant, is everything ok?"

I wanted to laugh out loud.  I told him actually, today asking me that question, of all days, I can definitely say "yes, everything is ok", after all I felt another 10 years younger today!

I decided to tell him why I had been 'absent', and what had been on my mind.

The relief to share it (the good news) with him was another big one!  It is never wise to keep things from those you love, even if your intention is a positive one.  Now, there were no secrets again, a very good state of affairs! 

Of course he was a little 'ruffled' at not being told before now, but he also understood my reasoning. Above all, I was impressed that his sensitivity levels were that tuned in to me, impressed by the timing of his question tonight of all nights and slightly concerned that I must be such an open book to read!  Three good lessons all in one!  

 
These intense few weeks were an amazing journey.  A constant upward, building momentum.  No low points.  No downward slips.  No scares, just joy and renewed hope.  A growing feeling of 'anything being possible' and of renewed appreciation for life and health and the future. Priceless!

I'm lucky to have discovered this now.  I hope mum's discovery stays with her too.   I feel safe in the knowledge that there is more available to us if we set our souls in the right direction, and I am sure I and others close to me will have cause to seek that out. 

I think it is this knowing, this wisdom and this meaning that my horses live each day.  That nature emits while it sleeps and dies. That surrounds us if only we knew it was there, how to connect with it and to have faith that it will serve us well.

Perhaps that will be the next installment of messages from my horses and my life.