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There are three constants in life... change, choice and principles.
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There are three constants in life... change, choice and principles.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/choice.html#jf8gjAufJFT3eZLE.99

There are three constants in life... change, choice and principles.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/choice.html#jf8gjAufJFT3eZLE.99

There are three constants in life... change, choice and principles.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/choice.html#jf8gjAufJFT3eZLE.99

There are three constants in life... change, choice and principles.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/choice.html#jf8gjAufJFT3eZLE.

There are 3 constants in life: change, choice and principles

 

Choosing wisely can often be a balancing act between all three...

As a general rule, whenever I have a problem to solve, I write out the "pros" and "cons"  for each option - the good old fashioned way.  Decision making is a risky thing especially when making it for Another and even worse if that Another is your horse whose desires we can only make an educated guess about. 

Most of us tend to share our problems with friends and family  believing a "problem shared is a problem halved".  If we stopped there it might be a helpful strategy.  Typically, we continue to share - canvassing the opinion of everyone we know (or don't know) leaving us more confused than before!  Bottom line we end up like many a poor marketing slogan - unimaginative, uninspired and with an outcome that lacks relevance or sells products. In other words it doesn't help us to make a choice!

Tonight a friend is in need. She has a decision to make - to move her horse to Yard A or to Yard B.

Yard A gives her proximity to her own home.  Yard B does not.

Yard A gives her a focus on Dressage which she is interested in developing.  Yard B offers her expertise in Show Jumping - her first love.

Yard A is a little more expensive, but it's offset with the petrol cost to get to Yard B.

Yard A is large, Yard B is small.

Yard A guarantees 3 hours winter turnout.  Yard B offers more.

Yard A has hacking around the property.  Yard B is limited.

....On it goes!  Quickly it becomes an impossible decision comparing appels with bananas.  Unless you fancy knocking up an excel spreadsheet, applying a weighting factor to each criteria to get a mathematical decision, you'll be going up and down like a game of snakes and ladders.

Choice is a good thing - one great yard over another - a nice problem to have (in a way).  But circumstances rarely allow us to feel the joy of Yard Shopping. In this case the circumstances that are forcing the change concern the well being and health of her horse who has Grade 3 (out of 4) ulcers as pictured below:

The only option left (to help with decision making) is to consider the principles of the situation. In this case I suggest TRUST!
 
By way of background, suffice it to say that her current yard has not been fulfilling it's side of the agreement: feeds missed, drugs not administered, turn out not happening, the owners wishes being usurped by those who believe they know better and arrogantly do what they want, not what the owner and paying customer wants. 

A sadly familiar tale where the staff take over the running of your horse!  Nothing is more frustrating and upsetting than the feeling that your horse is slipping away from you in front of you! Especially when in the hands of people who reach for Bute at the first sign of poor performance!

Every horse owner knows the worry, stress and angst caused when you have to entrust the care of your horse into the hands and watchful eyes of someone else. Like mothers handing over their young to day care or a nanny, every day is coloured by the dread of that unwanted text!

Whether your horse has 'special needs' or not, whether he is easy to care for or not, you have to be able to trust that it will be done to the best standard and as good as you could do it yourself.  How do you know if you've found a carer capable of that?

Client testimonials is one way (not when the Yard Manager is standing close by).  Gut feel is another.  Check out that you have a 'like minded' spirit with the same values is a third.  Values such as integrity, respect, honesty.  If you know what your values are, it's easier to identify the same values (or not) in others. 

I value and look for teamwork! If it helps, here's what I consider important:

(Together we achieve more)

Do I believe Yard manager A or B is the better team player?  They don't have to be the best in the business but will we be in 'sync'?

1. Will we both put in equal effort to the relationship to make it a success?  
2. Do we share common values?
3. Will he/she respect and act upon my wishes?  
4. Is this someone I want to work with?
5. Are we likely to pull in the same direction?  
6. Do I want this person to be part of my team and my life, everyday? 
7. Do I feel like an EQUAL around him/her?   Will he/she treat me as such?
8. Am I interested in their perspective but am safe in the knowledge that the care for my horse won't suffer if I chose NOT to follow their way?  
9. Does he/she want to learn about my horse's ways, likes and dislikes?
10. Do we have the same goal for my horse? Health, happiness and fun!

Personally, I try to steer away from joining yards with so called (often self proclaimed) 'experts'  who tell you how much they know!  The proof of the pudding is in the eating! Ultimately your horse and his health will demonstrate how much the humans around him really do understand horse's and their needs. Our eyes don't deceive us and our horse's behaviour is all the feedback we need.

When I lived in America I found the 37 flavours of ice cream a nightmare to chose from - 2 is a problem, 3 is a dilemma etc. My decision was to avoid ice cream for desert and ended up eating proper puds and piling on the calories!

The moral of my 'ice cream' story is that there is often a negative consequence for abstaining from decision making  - change is a constant!  As yards rarely offer us "try before you buy", TRUST becomes an important differentiator.  Trusting ourselves and our judgement;  trusting our instinct, and being able to size up others.   Knowing that here is a yard where we can just be ourselves and enjoy our time with our horse.

It's hard to 'be' with our horses if we aren't at ease 'being' with ourselves.  A good yard manager should help us find that personal haven, and nurture it for our daily exercise and delight.

I wish my friend a good nights sleep dreaming about Yard A or  B, to wake up tomorrow with the clarity that sometimes only sleep can bring. 

Experts On; Experts Off?

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” 

 

Its madness to think we have all the answers we need when looking after our horses and dealing with the challenges that will get thrown at us.  It's crazy to think we even know what were doing with our own lives half the time!  I know I dont!

I was thinking about how this time last year I was learning about "wax on and wax off" from the very talented and humble cowboy; Mark Rashid.  I was attending a riders introductory course to Aikido combining the principles of softness, self defence, and how it could apply to our work with horses.

At the end of day 3, I returned home excited to put some of what I had learnt into practise. I took Grace out and lunged her in the damp, dark December evening.  It was without question the best lunge work we have every accomplished; magical.

It was as if we were connected by telepathic thought.  By simply concentrating on my energy and sending it out in spiral waves from my core out towards her she responded.  I hardly spoke.  No sounds, clicks, Bruuuups, or whip flicks.  

...The best lunging and 'being in my body' experience ever! 

Why was I drawn to this course?  Why do certain people seem to come into our lives just when we need them?

In 2012,  I had invested time, money and a lot of time and patience discovering the power and value of working with Essential oils and dried herbs to improve my horses health.  For good reason! Over a  5 day period Essy's body went from having a few small harmless looking lumps dotted about his body...

...to a few more slightly larger looking lumps...

...to full blown hives head to hock!

He remained like this for almost 2.5 months before Dandelion Root and a liver tonic fixed him after a visit from Naturally Animals. Up to this point I had spent a fortune with tradtiional medicine and veterinary advise to find a cause and/or cure.  Nothing made any difference.  Then 4 days into the Liver Tonic from James Hart and the Dandelion Root from Naturally Animals, the hives had gone!  Completely!   They haven't returned.

Needless to say the help I received from Animal Health Practitioners - Catherine Edwards was priceless!  Essy LOVED her visits (seen below)...

The best medical help for my horses I have ever experienced with only health benefits and no side effects!

Keen to learn more about what other resources are around to help us manage our horses health (without resorting to vet prescribed drugs) I came across Red Light Therapy.  The only cure found to date in the USA for the West Nile virus.  Impressive!   Just go to the Success page on the website to read some of the incredible stories of healing and pain relief.  My light goes on any injury, swelling or sore area.

I promise you that reading about this product will convince you of the need to find out more!   I've even got a torch at home too and grab it any time I have an ache or pain.  Apparently it works like a facial and even plastic surgery - we'll see!

To see how quickly a horses body responds and self heals if given a gentle nudge
 in the right direction by a wave generating light is "Gob smacking" each time I observe it.

Without doubt the last two years has been peppered with 'equine experts'.  As I reflect on who Ive met and what I've learnt from them, I have to include another "biggie" from 2012.

Wonder woman Kat Jay Equine Podiatrist trained in KC La Pierre's teaching joined the team in April 2012.  I can't remember life without her! She has kept me strong, on track and to plan.  I found her having stumbled across the amazing and compelling work of K C La Pierre in the USA - what he doesn't know about the horses' hoof isn't worth knowing!

Kat opened up another world of knowledge to me as we watched with amazement the miracle of Grace's feet transforming.  This was followed by the phenomenal results of Essy and Solar going barefoot after 20 years of being shod.  Risky for so many reasons, but has passed without incident.   

I have felt embarrassed and down right ashamed of how little I knew about equine hooves before embarking on this journey of knowledge. We know so little about how to care for our horses's feet or the choices we have as responsible owners. My advice please don't mistake the barefoot brigade for "a bunch of out with the fairy hippies".  The science and knowledge is robust, if only the farrier community embraced it more and offered shoeing and podiatry in their tool kit.  Maybe one day...

A tiny fragment of the physical foot transformation of Grace is captured below.

1. Grace aged 6 - Right Fore April 15th 2012 when her front shoes fell off and I saw what was beneath!

2. Grace aged 6 Left Hind in the hands of a farrier with toe chopped off!  


Kat nick named this hoof "Club Foot"- you can see why as she has no toe - this is neither normal or healthy for a horse but sadly I see it on horses around me a lot!  Normal doesn't mean it is right!













Both Feet today.... 

The saying is... "No Foot; No Horse"...

 NEVER has this been demonstrated better than with my horses.  

 An inspiring experience to witness.

Not much need be said about Margrit's life changing visit to Essy earlier this year.  It resulted in the conception of this blog! Since, Essy is a different horse and his video of that meeting can be found on youtube.

Our relationship is complete.  My old mum is now a blood brother to him and I consult with him on everything knowing that he actually does understand.

He is a life treasure!

 

It is often said that one road swiftly leads to another... 

After Margrit's visit and with her help, I met Sue Devereux  - a vet who uses acupuncture and is a chiropractor.  For over 2 hours she worked with each of my horses and put to shame what I have seen others, with similar job titles do.  No bone was left un-touched, re-mobilised and examined.  Each horse responded differently, each swiftly and honestly.  

Noticing physical changes, muscle re-balancing and behavioural change in front of your eyes is something I highly recommend!

I am sure that if you are reading this blog youll think I am either "made of money" or have "more money than sense".  Neither are true (I hope)!  I think the last 24 months has been a life works in the making.  Every penny spent has been worth it.  It's in part been a by product of my horses reaching their twenties.  It's also been a personal journey for me in terms of really testing what is important to me for my horses and why they are in my life.  It's not all about riding them - that's for sure as I've consciously sacrificed that to give them healthy feet and to respect the messages they shared via Margrit.

I am now a self confessed disciple of barefoot and herbs and oils and the red light therapy.  However, I DON'T believe they are the only solution to a situation or a panacea for all ills.  If shoeing my horses was the only way to relieve pain; I'd re-shoe again.  If the difference between life or death required a man made drug versus a herb I'd say yes to the drugs.  However, until either of those two circumstances happen (hopefully they never will) I wont shoe or administer man made drugs. 

Some might say that ....

"to let yourself be guided by experts is always a recipe for disaster" 

I would agree - if you are letting experts make your decisions and bully you about!  But,... If you maintain responsibility and stay awake and alert to evaluate your options, the logic and the proof behind what experts tell you, you'll do alright and their help will be invaluable.

I am eternally grateful to my extended equine support team for helping Essy with his Uciteria, Solar with her fibrotic myopathy and Grace and I with our ridden work.  We wouldn't be where we are today - happy and healthy, without them.  This Blog wouldn't exist either.

Most of us at some point in caring for our horses will need the support of others. My advice for choosing experts is this:-

• They must want to understand YOUR aspirations for you and your horse 
• Ask you LOTS of questions
• They should know your values i.e. what's most important to you about having horses in your life 
• Find out what you want for your horse; long life, comfort, safety, ...what?
• Have a sense of humour and not take themselves too seriously!
• Be considered rather than obstinate in their views 
• Be able to explain their subject in depth with up to date research and back up
• Be passionate about their knowledge and techniques but not religious about thrusting it down your throat!
• NEVER make you feel judged, small, stupid or inadequate in your care for your horse
• WANT to help YOU; want to WORK with you
• You should look forward to seeing them / speaking with them
• You should never feel the desire to 'count up' how much money you've spent with them and question their value for money!

After this everything else should just fall into place! Ta da!

Advice from Bear Grylls

The time to shine is when its darkest...

 

 

... and there have been some dark moments in the last 12 months starting in January:

- 12 weeks box rest for Essy while we ruled in and out Mud Fever or Mites (round and round we went)

- 8 weeks forced box rest (all three horses) due to snow, ice then water logged fields

- A depressed and quiet Solar Sue losing weight and muscle tone

- Sudden spike in worm counts

- Worry about whether or not to remove front shoes on Essy and Solar at 22 and 23 years of age respectively

- X rays for front feet for Essy and Grace (always a frightening moment)

- Surge in Essy's nose bleeds frequency and duration

- Fibrotic Myopathy in Solar that the vets said rarely improves (despite now being 100% fixed and back to a normal gait)

- Suspected low grade laminitis in Grace

- Sick paddocks, poor grazing and a mass of buttercup infestation

- Another fall from Grace!

- Lameness caused by prolonged Seedy Toe in Grace 

- No riding for 5 months

- Colic on a Bank Holiday Sunday night!

- Livery yard misery for myself and others 

- No overnight turnout this year during the summer (a long story)

- One chewed mobile phone of another livery customer costing me £250 to fix (thanks Grace)

- One hole drilled into Essy's forehead - all for an inconclusive biopsy!

...and it was only August!

So that's when I decided to put an end to it all!  It was time to stop all invasive procedures for Essy,  it was time to move yards, it was time to change our luck!

In the midst of all the trauma came the gift of new friendships;  warm and compassionate experts; unexpected strangers becoming friends; this blog; a new trainer and lots of learning in the process! (More of that to follow...)

Today, just a few weeks after making a change and re-locating us all - all three horses look great, feel alive and are full of life (just as you'd want)!

(Solar and Essy - today)

"The time to shine is when its darkest...

 

Nature has a way of rewarding that sort of attitude" 

 

said Bear Grylls in his book "A survival guide for life"

My message is a short one about not loosing hope, faith or giving up!  Especially  don't give up on our horse's ability to recover even when vets say they wont!

Don't give up on wanting a better life for yourself and your horse.  Don't accept mediocrity and go along with things because others do or because it is easy!

Don't EVER stop listening to your gut and act on it wherever you can if your intention is to make things ultimately better!

The reward?  Seeing your horses run around healthy, having fun, and hearing others say how "happy" they and you seem; priceless! The best antidote after all those months of worry.

(Grace yesterday)

Thank you Mr Grylls for your words of wisdom, that help keep me on track.

Gandhi inspired Riding...

Since the age of 10, I've wanted to ride like the old Masters; with lightness, good humour, spirit, expression and HEART.

Until this weekend I hadn't know how, nor had I had the luxury of actually experiencing what so few seem to achieve.

Hope and belief can take us a long way, but at some point its nice if it can become reality - to help keep us believing!

This weekend I got it!  Well, (the starting point at least) and there was a delightful irony to the learning.  

For the last 7 years I have been coaching riders on the ground explaining the role and value of sports psychology, stressing the importance of "going first,  (mentally and physiologically) where we want our horses to go" -  i.e. 'lead by example'. Or as Mahatma Gandhi said

"be the change you want to see..."

Sunday's timely reminder went like this; it was only my fourth time in the saddle since the end of May.  Only my second ridden lesson with our new trainer Mario - hot off the plane from Portugal.  

How do I summarise one of the best experiences ever...?

-Simplicity

-Less was definitely more
- Poetry

-Goosebumps all over... 

The less I tried to ride the horse, the better the connection I got.  The more I just focused on feeling what my body was doing, the more responsive Grace became.  Her transitions seemed to happen like a warm knife through butter - and she stayed in gait.  I did NOTHING! 

This is how riding SHOULD feel - I've known it, believed it, but now I actually felt it!

What did I learn?  
How to use my hips to move us into the gait I want.  Grace simply followed the movement of my body.  If I want walk, my hips swivel.  If I want trot they swing.  Extraordinary how effective this was and at no time did I need to do anything so crude as kick!  

What did we focus on? 
Transitions, counting strides, and NO physical pull or push - just doing less each time I asked for a transition.  

Was there a 'game changer' moment?
Two!

The first was GIVE!  Before applying any 'extra' contact on the rein for a downward transition - GIVE -even when it's counter intuitive (see Blog Instincts Can Let Us Down).  Then ask and once again give back as soon as you've made the ask.  "Be a gentleman" were Mario's words.

The second was TRUST!  Have you ever noticed that when things go well, it builds?  Then, if things suddenly slip (you fall out of step with your horse's movement) you resort to old habits?   Each time this happened it enabled me to see how quickly I grab hold of the reins to re-balance myself.   Not good and not dressage, but a good learning!

Quick as a flash Mario told me NOT to do that.  I had to internalise what I would do instead and realised that I had to TRUST that I could influence our speed from my body not from my hands.  I had to trust and let go! I had to go back to 'giving' not pulling.  Hauling on the reins just gave Grace more to tug back on anyway and that's not a fight I will ever win. 

I'm sure that a drop in confidence has played a legitimate role in my rein grabbing tendency (plus the fact that I'm a polo player not dressage diva),  however, having just cantered her around, on the buckle, and wanting to live the rest of my life in that feeling and in that moment.  I reminded myself that my 3 falls off her have all been at the walk, with plenty of rein in my hand, which was of no help keeping me in the saddle!

So "letting go" for me does mean, releasing that vice like grip on the rein.  It also means giving myself a very clear picture of how to ride instead.  It means less thinking and doing with my body and more feeling my body and setting that feeling up so Grace can join me there.

I think Gandhi summed it up when he said:

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
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Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mahatma_gandhi.html#wogTZSOJZPDY5VCh.99

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mahatma_gandhi.html#wogTZSOJZPDY5VCh.99

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do, 

are in harmony"

Hard work nonsense!

Some time ago a friend declared "this dressage is easy - you just kick and pull!" 

 

There are often defining moments in life, maybe in our riding too.  For me hearing the above words, was one such moment.  I was totally at odds with what I was hearing.  I had no belief in it whatsoever.  It was not how I saw riding as described or demonstrated by the old Masters; my heroes.  To be fair to my friend it was making a positive difference in how her horse was going.  Will it last?  Will there be adverse consequences on his body?  I don't know.

Sadly I suspect most of us (and most judges) see a lot of pulling, holding and kicking by riders.  It has become the norm, but it never used to be.  It is certainly not the only way to ride. I would argue it is also not THE way to ride.  However, if it is all that we see, or all that is taught, it becomes accepted and suddenly we stop asking if there's an alternative; another way.

The more you think about it the more abhorrent it sounds to believe that riding is about pulling and kicking. When we pull we are pulling on a living animals very sensitive mouth using a piece of unforgiving metal. When we kick we use weight laden legs, with or without metal spiking spurs, to boot the horses fragile ribs.  How can this be dressage? How can this be a loving way of being with our so called 'best friend'.  It certainly isn't 'ballet'!

I think the point is that we have a choice about how we ride and if a trainer suggests a way that makes us recoil, we owe it to ourselves to seek an alternative.

A lot of what we hear others say makes no sense if you stop to really think about it!  We so easily become full of "BS", taking on other people's words and beliefs.  As a simple example how often have you heard a horse person say its "good for horses to be worked hard"!  Is that really true?  How do we know? Why is it good for them? Who says anyway - the horse?  If someone said to me 'its good for you to work hard' I'd tell them where to go!

Isn't it arrogant to think we know what someone else's (human or horse) needs are, and it's quite ridiculous to think animals value WORK in the same way we might! Only humans could think like that!

To notice how engrained a belief can be (for example about hard work) here are a few of the popular sayings that you might recognise.  These sayings become our beliefs because we hear them or say them over and over again.  It shapes what we do and how we behave.

Which do you find yourself automatically agreeing with as if it is the LAW! When did you last revisit that belief?  Have you considered it might not be so?

I would suggest that many of the above don't even suit our own human needs, never mind a horse.  If it did then we would just have to work harder to produce our best results.  Yet many of us find it isn't as simple as that.  If we do have 'peak's in our performance it can be difficult to sustain, often we don't know how we did it in the first place!  Ultimately, too much work and we burn out, become jaded and lose motivation.  Why else do we crave holidays when we get  to "re-fresh, rejuvenate and re-connect" with what is important in life - which for most of us, isn't work!

As a sports coach I am often asked by riders how they can improve and perform more consistently.   Hard work is never the first answer, although practice, preparation etc will be key ingredients for sure.

From sports science and masses of business research into how humans achieve and excel, we know that the desired "state" we need to be in to produce our maximum performance level is called "flow" and equates to our attention being at its peak.  (Stress levels will also be low, not high).  This is the moment when we achieve our personal best and it has 3 ingredients:

1 - our attention is so absorbed we don't see or hear things around us - spectators, noises etc.  

2  -it is the moment where we call upon our skills to shine

and

3 - it is a physiological state that feels good! 

Think of the moment you first kissed someone you've had your eye on for a while - everything else becomes a blur and it feels fab (assuming you can both kiss well) - that's focus!

This is the state we have to achieve to produce our personal best.  It won't feel like hard work, it feels great!  It is unlikely to be a 'state' we can maintain for 7 hours a day or repeat every day.  It ebbs and flows.  Why else is outlook programmed to default meeting settings to 15 or 30 minutes in duration? It mirrors the reality of being able to stay in a period of 'focus' for short periods only.

Too much hard work and what can happen is that if we have too much to do, too little support or feel pressurized then our performance drops off and our stress levels rise.  We do not perform to the best of our ability. We beat ourselves up and the cycle gets worse.

Add to that emotions and if our emotions are too strong or unguided, they overwhelm us and take over all other facets including our attention, and therefore our ability to perform at our best.

No where in my belief system does it say I believe we humans have to be slaves to a work ethic dictated  to us by someone else.  I don't believe it should be that way for our horses either.  So, back to our horse riding, here are some key questions to think about when working our horses if we want to bring out the best in them:

Q) What do we do to ensure our horses don't feel their work is unguided, overwhelming and stressful?
Q) What do we do to help them get into their ideal 'state' for them be attentive (in flow)?
Q) How do we keep their attention (positively)?
Q) How do we set them up to show us what they can do naturally (their talents)?
Q) Does schooling or hacking or anything we do with them look as if it feels good to them?

Coming up with questions is only part of the equation, the easier part!  Finding the answers is more challenging.  Being willing to try, will help us develop into more open, aware  and 'able-minded' people.  Thus avoiding the habit of saying stuff that makes no sense at all or isn't true.

After all, what we say influences what we do! 

Sadly we do tend to go around just saying "stuff" all day long that we don't think about, don't take responsibility for and often don't know why we are saying it in the first place. The danger is that the words we use shape and influence our attitude and reflects our inner beliefs, that will continue to go un-questioned,  if we never stop to listen to ourselves.  Nor do we take the opportunity to examine what's working and why?

Beliefs are formed by the age of 7.  Many of those beliefs served us well as kids, but actually work against us achieving a simple happy life as adults.  We just never realise it!  As an example, a young woman I know was raised to be 'silent' 'seen and not heard'.  She had to be in bed by 6pm when her father returned home from work.  She learned the skills of being silent, and moving around like a stealth bomber - aged just 6! That was how she survived with a violent and explosive cruel partner.  It served her well.

The problem is that now, later in life, as a grown up adult, she struggles to be assertive especially if it means raising her voice, or causing 'upset'.  Her childhood belief about 'good girls sitting still and quiet' are holding her back in relationships.  Her belief no longer serves her well. 

Going forward often starts with a backwards step.  When we examine and change our beliefs it is helpful to remember their source.  Our beliefs will always make sense when we go back to when they formed.   Only then can we ask if that belief is one to keep in our tool kit today.

In summary, if we are to wake up and be more aware, and present for our horses, to let them bring out the best in us, we have to start paying attention to what we say, and what others say before we agree with them.

This is the difference between being awake or asleep; conscious or unconscious; steering your life or being on auto-pilot, and as Joyce Davis's says in her book...

"it's hard to stay on a horse when you're unconscious"