Clinging On!

Why do people follow the word or practice of others, with the fervor of a religious calling?

In this post the question posed is for us 'horsey folk' to consider our devotion to any horse training techniques, be that "natural" or 'other.'

It is irrelevant to this post what any individual training technique is, or who the teacher is.  I am not about to rain on someone's parade by condemning any method or style of horsemanship.

I simply want to pose questions around what lies beneath our own behaviour when we cling to methods, heroes or gadgets, especially when those methods get challenged and we fight hard NOT to listen, clinging to it, as if it provides the only truth!

What might surprise us is that often our 'followership' of a method or technique runs much deeper than simply buying into the logic behind it, or the attraction of the results it creates.  Let's explore...
 
We all have the potential to house a strong desire to remain who we are (our unique identity), even if that causes us problems such as addictions, religious fanaticism, victim mindset, or loser. Siblings fight to differentiate themselves, children fight to 'be seen' by their parents and spouses fight 'not to be changed' by t'other!

We want to be ourselves and remain true to that! (Or, at least be true to the person we think we are and see as ourselves).

Who we are and what we believe in, originates from our past - our early childhood years.  However, we've forgotten to remember that almost nothing that was going on in our lives and environment back then, still applies today!  Most things have dramatically changed.  Many of the people who were early 'influencers' on our thinking and behaviour aren't around anymore.

Most of us don't re-visit our childhood born beliefs to evaluate if they are still useful today. 

Why not?  What are we afraid of?

First of all, knowing who we are provides certainty; we know our role and our place in life, society our family and home. We also know what to do in certain situations and we become predictable to others (which others like).  Once we believe something (for example 'nice girls don't boast' or 'hard work brings just rewards'),  such beliefs become like a backbone supporting us, which makes us very resistant to change them.

Additionally, as social animals our identity and beliefs help us to take our place in the herd. Without it, we cannot relate or bond. Social exclusion seems to be worse for many of us, than any of the complaints resulting from a problematic identity and belief system - including addictions, crime, or a victim mentality. 

In other words,  on a subconscious level as long as we are someone and belong to a social system or group, we can live on, however problematic. (Also explains why on Face Book someone wanted to know "who is Debbie Percy" as if I had to be a 'somebody' to voice my questions about the legitimacy of the Horseman's Calling Event).

Joining in with and belonging to horse groups and specific training methods can lead us to attend Tours, Demos, Events and Rallys where other like-minded disciples can hang out together... 

After all, there's safety in numbers and we can't all be wrong! Right?

It can also lead us to rise up, speak out and defend such a group against any criticism (valid or otherwise) but why? Why bother? Why get angry? Why spend time blogging, posting etc?

I think it has to be explained simply.  Amongst all our complex beliefs, personality factors and motives, a lot of the time humans (horsey or otherwise) have a need to be right.  We hate it when we are wrong, at home or work.  It's as if being right somehow validates who we are and in turn, our very existence.

If we stopped to think it through, I am sure we would have a quick private giggle at our own folly!  I don't know about you, but I'd rather be happy than right! I'd rather have a unique, real, connection with my horses than simply copy what someone else does!

So exactly what is the problem in defending something you believe in?  

Nothing on the face of it, except that history shows us it's danger when taken to its extreme and leads to violence, wars, civil unrest, oppression or revolution and cruelty to ones own kind.

Extremes occur when we lack balance. Balance often comes from perspective - a change of; a difference in; or a fresh one!

If we are to develop our awareness as humans to really connect with horses, then growth comes when we embrace our problems as agents for our growth.

So, instead of being furious about someone's criticisms of something you follow, why not be curious? Why not step back and think about what they see (even if we don't see it like that)?  Why not see it from another view point and THEN decide to poo poo it or not?  My mum always used to say...

"pass your exams first, then you can criticize the exam system"

Why should we step back and think before we attack or defend?

No one has to! It's always our choice.  But, if we continue to attempt to protect ourselves from the problem of others opinions not agreeing with our own, it can end up running your life.  Both the problem, and the pattern!  I have seen this in my own life but it took 35 years before I noticed!

Until I opened my eyes, I had been full time employed in the pursuit of proving my independence and my disdain for commitment or marriage -regardless of the views of others close to me.  I had my career and I pursued that with conviction - I had a ladder to climb!

I climbed that ladder but soon fell out of love with the view! Suddenly the very thing I had fought tooth and nail to defend, held no value and seemed rather silly in the grand scheme of life!

My fear of not being good enough, others knowing more than me, making bad decisions or simply getting it all 'wrong' had run my life and limited what I could see from the windows of my mind.

It's actually quite exhausting having to think about yourself all the time!  

The constant inner chitter chatter that rises up to make us attack another's view, or follow someone else without checking if it's still relevant, is usually born from fear.  An example of that fear might be anxiety around trust.  So, once we place our trust in Monty, Pat Parelli, Mark Rashid, Carolyn Resnick or Debbie Percy - we don't want to be exposed and have to go through the process of trusting, all over again.

We want to be right!  We want to be safe!  We need a Guarantee!

I soon realised that every time I was trying to make myself feel better (or right) it meant I wasn't ok inside!  When our psyche needs protecting,  we often seek false sanctuary with others, in a blessed place (aka the Demo or Tour).  Of course it provides no safety, the criticisms exist outside that space and are waiting for us on our return. 

Yet we don't have to devout our life to satisfying our psyche (inner chitter chatter)! A naturally healthy body and mind is one that just does what it's supposed to do while we go about our business.  The mind is supposed to come up with thoughts.  That includes questions.  It is intended to work with imagination and analysis.  Not just one instead of the other!  It is a computer, a tool. It is NOT us!

Our mind can be used to ponder great thoughts, solve scientific problems and serve humanity.  The good news is that there is no monopoly on how we can serve humanity or who knows best!  Our brains are capable of building on what others have created or invented before us, and taking that to the next level.  We are constantly evolving and this includes, our methods of training and how to "be" with our horses.

When we resist 'new', 'different' we resist this natural evolution.  It makes no sense to fear it. It's perfectly natural!

I believe that most of us in the horse world can live together side by side even when our minds fire off in different directions.  It is what's driving our hearts that unites us.  Perhaps it is time to start listening to our hearts before we start talking or attacking.  I know when I wrote my blog about the Horseman Calling Competition it was in my heart that felt I had to. I just used my head and brain to express what my heart was sensing! I tried to understand the goals, intention and process behind the event in order to know if it was calling me to attend it.

We may still not agree with one another when we listen to our hearts before our heads, but we might realise it's not worth fighting over, without first seeking to understand it further.  For me (with the Horseman Calling Event), I could not balance their focus on competition, tests and speed to back a two year old horse along side their mission of  'doing good for the horse'.  The latter resonated with my heart the former did not!  

Had I had more notice of the event happening I would have made contact with the organizers to ask some questions to deepen my understanding of the event, beyond what was on the website.  I am glad however that I had only the website to go on, as it helped me really think about what I was reading.  To improve our ability to read, listen, speak and actually notice what is being said (or not said) has to be a good thing if we are to wake up and take responsibility for what we do, who we join with and support.

Stephen Cover encourages in his Business Management books to ...

"seek first to understand; before being understood"

For over a decade I fought and resisted even looking into the work of Pat and Linda Parelli, believing it to be circus tricks and nothing more.  Two years ago that changed for me.  I have now worked with their approach, used it, found it to have value and limitations and consequences.  In summary I believe that as an approach:

- it has many positive aspects and useful learning to be shared that is of help and value for humans and horses 

- it is not however a panacea for all ills!  It is not THE way, nor the ONLY way, nor the RIGHT way.

It is simply ONE way!

The more 'enlightened' Parelli trainers know this.  They would agree.  They encourage owners to merge their approach with other ways.  To use the best from different methods and dump the rest!  That feels healthy to me.

I want to be respected by a trainer as someone with my own heart and head.  I am not a sheep and don't expect to be cast aside for not following a trainer's every whim and suggestion.  Nor do I expect to absorb what a trainer tells me as if it is gospel, because it just might not be!

When Essy spoke of Humans needing to become much more aware I wonder if he was trying to encourage us to go outside, go beyond the walls and windows of our mind to see what exists in the world beyond! Our heart can often help us in that endeavour.

I have had my best 'breakthrough' moments to escape my old limiting patterns when I have decided to lower the draw bridge and walls of my fortress. There's actually no need to continue to support, maintain or defend my fortress. My let go moments were often leaps of faith, where I followed my heart not by brain! (Just ask my husband)!!!

If you feel that more and more you are being pushed beyond your comfort zone (fortress walls) - celebrate! Every time something comes into your awareness that rocks your foundations of what you thought was right or true - be thankful!

If our horses are to be our Guides on our journey of 'waking up' we will experience these feelings more and more.  Every time we are tested, we have an opportunity to grow! That has to be 'for the good of our horses'.

Back to my question of do we want to be happy or right?  Life is going to change.  New things will happen and new opinions will appear.  The question is are we willing to be happy regardless of what happens?

Our life purpose is to enjoy life and learn from the experience.  To be happy we have to let go of melodrama.  After all, to keep things in perspective we are but a dot sitting on a planet that is floating in an empty space in a universe that goes on forever!

Does it really affect you, what I, or anyone else says unless you decide to let it?

If we are going to be here, we may as well be happy and accepting of others and their points of view. 

If we make our happiness conditional upon what others say and do, we are in real trouble! 

If we suddenly found out our hero or guru was a fraud where would that leave us?  Our core would be rocked. This is dangerous.  An antidote relys on us deliberately paying close attention to the work of gurus or experts, especially amongst any claims of the Messiah amidst us, because it matters to do so!  

With gurus and ourselves for that matter, it's not what we are doing or supporting, but how much of us is doing it!  It needs to be our whole self: body, mind, heart and soul, being present, awake, aware and accepting.

Sometimes when we discover we had been following a fraud its because they don't walk their talk 24 x 7, and we haven't being paying attention!  The clues are usually there if we are open minded enough to notice!

Putting people up on a pedestal is a risky business; there's typically one way for them to go! Being open to someone else's different perspective can help us avoid looking like a right burk later on if we've blindly following something/someone like an idol, only to find out their full transparency left something to be desired.

It is scarcity that makes things valuable or precious.  

Natural horse ways are still practiced in the minority by horse people,  but anyone calling for us to be even more in tune with the meaning of 'natural' (as we know it thus far) is a friend not a foe!  Even if their perspective seems at odds with ours or sits uncomfortably with us.  Think of Monty Roberts and how long it took for him to be accepted and not ridiculed or condemned!  

As I believe horse people share a common heart felt desire to help horses, maybe future Natural Horse Gatherings will sound more like...

Hearts calling, not Horseman calling! 

Meanwhile, why not get the most out of this life and be able to give back to our horses the best we can, from a range of options out there, following our heart, respecting our head, but not blinded by loyalty or fear!

Besides being right all the time, must be quite boring after a while?!

Back to Basics!

"We want an Essy Grandma!"

Since the arrival of my elderly mum onto the yard to keep Essy company while on box rest, we've all had a bit of a reminder of how easy it is to take things for granted about your horse and what he /s he offers you, especially the simple things.

If we are honest, most of us no longer feel joy and delight in the simple pleasures of our horse doing as we ask in hand, or around the stable - we just take it for granted and expect it.  Last night, watching my mum revel in the fact that Solar Sue walked backwards when I showed her how to ask for it - was both humbling and heart warming. 

 

As a 76 year old who has never before lead a horse, never mind put on its 'collar' - the last three weeks have been a revelation for anyone watching from the side lines.

I've had comments made to me about "how quiet my mum is with Essy" and how "gentle" and how "sweet to watch it is".  Comments like this remind me how rough, tough, boisterous and noisy we can be around horses - out of habit, our need for speed, or simply having an agenda to achieve.

Horse and Hound this week had a piece on the Equine sound system - "horses can hear commands spoken at low volume" does my mum know that already and it's only the horsey set that don't?

"Essy's Grandma visits" as they've become known have seen her sit with him outside his stable for up to 4 hours at a time, just "chatting"!   She gives his head a cool sponge down, offers him essential oils to smell, (noting down which he responds to).   She's now taken to leading him round the yard, to the front gate and back. Amazingly he behaviours superbly well!  Like all grandma's her handbag is packed with treats: carrot Julienne, Waitrose prunes, organic apple quarters and Johnsons wet wipes!

...She is religious at capturing the start of a runny nose! 

So it's become very obvious that sometimes our own learning and awareness is heightened by the actions of a 'newcomer' who go about 'being with horses', in a very different way!

Last night I caught myself brushing Grace's long thick mane.  I realised if this was my own head of hair no way would I be this rough.  I didn't mean to be rough.  It certainly isn't how my old mum would brush it though!  So, it seems I'm learning from a total novice how to 'be' with a horse in a way that is more in keeping with what Essy's teachings are about: 

• awareness
• softness
• healing touch
• peace

If horses are here to bring us peace its going to be hard for us to recognise that in amongst our noise and no nonsense way of doing stuff!

Watching Essy and my mum interact is an absolute joy.  They both seem to be exploring boundaries without a single moment of anxt, pressure, power, force or anger.  

There is a huge absence of expectation!

There is a peaceful quietness to their time together.

Essy continues to find new ways to teach me how to 'wake up' and be more 'aware' of what horses respond to, and how without appreciating the basics our horse offers us, it will be hard to move forward.
 
I watch with admiration and intrigue as their journey unfolds,  thrilled to be a part of it and learning vicariously as we go!

Now if only I could get her into some 'sensible', horse appropriate shoes!

"Awareness" - we already have the answers - inside!

What is this 'awareness' that Essy and other animals speak about when communicating with those who can hear them? 

The dictionary likens awareness to being:

 aware, cognizant, conscious, sensible, awake, alert, watchful, vigilant

In more detail- Aware implies knowledge gained through one's own perceptions or by means of information.

Since Essy's clear message that humans need to 'get more aware' I have been doing a lot more gathering information for myself, from sources far and near.  (Part 1 of the definition underway)!

When I first heard Essy's message about humans needing to become more aware of horses needs, and how the feeling horses seek can't begin fully until we humans heal ourselves - and me needing to play a part in this quest for 'awareness' -  I felt worried to say the least.

I've always felt that 'a greater awareness' isn't something that ordinary people discover!  Even though I've been drawn to animal communication, telepathy, mediums, channeling messages etc, don't you have to be gifted, spiritual, telepathic, non judgmental or at least perfect to really 'get it'?  Awareness makes me think of Buddha and enlightenment!   At 48 years of age I often feel  I've wasted more time than have time left to discover the path to Buddha.

No matter how unworthy I have felt since Margrit talked to my horses and especially with Essy, it seems I am on an improvement plan whether I planned it out or not! At it's core is being more conscious of what's around me daily, cleaning out my ears and accepting each day for what it is.   (Getting better at the former; work in progress on the latter!)

"Conscious emphasizes the recognition of something sensed or felt" says the dictionary.  I love this meaning as it gives me permission to listen to my gut, or my chitter chatter, to continue talking to myself aloud, and answering my own questions... all the stuff that others might deem 'nuts' that I do all the time.  (Part 2 of the definition conquered - unless there's another level to be reached on intuition....!)

To be awake is to have full consciousness of something and Alert stresses quickness to recognize and respond.  This seems to describe our horses in a nutshell.  Being in the moment aka quick to respond is not my forte.  Ive had 3 falls from Grace (excuse the pun) in the last 18 months and each time I've remarked on how "I just sat there and did nothing".  I have decisions to make to improve the quality of my horses life but procrastinate, change my mind and am stuck in cerebral debate!  (This part of the definition I suck at!)

When Grace (my younger horse) talked with Margrit she talked of how horses need humans to understand their pain and how that reflects onto the way humans handle horses.  I wasn't really sure what that meant until simple every day examples started to jump out at me. Take the following one as an example: 

Last week as I waked past another horse's stable the owner standing inside said aloud "there's a real serenity to eating hay without a hay net".  Then she stopped.  I stopped too.

How wonderful it must have felt for her horse to be able to eat without constraint.   How wonderful that his owner noticed.  How glad I am that I tuned in and heard it too.

It's not rocket science.  How hard would it be for all our horses to be given hay without having to put up a fight to get at it?  Imagine how we would feel?

It made me  wonder just how difficult do we make the lives of our horses?  In fact how difficult do we make our own lives?  We don't mean to, most of us would happily simplify our lives and that of our horses.  We just get caught up in habit, tradition, doing what everyone else does, following, not questioning for ourselves - being busy etc. 

I believe that in that one moment of making an observation my livery neighbour was experiencing what horses have to offer us if we are open to receive it;

simplicity: truth: freedom: being able to respond to one's own needs

Awareness is about realising that inside each of us is a place where all understanding exists - we already have the answers.  Each of us.  This inner place is our kernel of peace!  Our horses try to plant it in us.  Think about all the moments where you are drawn to just watch your horse or someone else's.  Mostly we are drawn to watch them graze, sleep in the sun, nuzzle one another or gallop freely in a field.  These moments (and moments like the one mentioned above) are when 'we get it' and we find ourselves using words like 'serenity' to describe it.   Now that's got to be awareness!

Finding NOW and knowing ME

Awareness is a personal journey 

"One's own self is well hidden from one's own self: of all mines of treasure, 

one's own is the last to be dug up"  

Friedrich Nietzsche

Last night it hit me that the only time I struggle to write a blog is when Ive heard someone else say something that sounded important, profound or poetic,  and have made a note of it.  Then when I sit down to write about it - I am blank.  I have lost all connection to it.

This got me thinking.  To connect with something it helps to feel it.  For me if I'm not the originator of a thought or idea, it holds very little interest for me.  I simply don't 'feel it'. May be this is what being authentic is about.  So what do our horses feel?  Nothing? Everything?  Is it there inescapable connection with 'feel' that keeps them present and grounded, genuine and honest?  'Feel' is after all the language of riding, and the body language between horses, and the horses route to experiencing nature.

Ive heard it said that we (humans) can't find peace if we haven't experienced struggle. Maybe that's true for some.  For me it has worked this way for years.  However, I don't believe that is the main experience of the horse.  Many horses do experience struggle in one form or another be that abuse, pain, neglect etc. Yet this negative experience of life with humans doesn't stop them from still being a horse.  Wanting and doing what horses want and do.  They seem to be the consummate 'connectors with themselves' : a place they must know so well.  Yet, we rarely stop to think 'who' they are!  Weird right to overlook such an opportunity to learn about a sense of self from someone so close.

I don't know what the human equivalent is to the birthright of a horse.  We have evolved through so many epochs with a different legacy attached to each.  The horse has accompanied us through most of that journey, but has remained the same.  Has remained true.  What cause are we pursuing? Isn't it weird that I even assume we are on one?  The horse is not!  Of course our larger brain and higher intellect mandates that we are here serving a greater good, a higher purpose!! Tee hee!  Right like destroying acres of natural habitat, over fishing the seas, polluting the atmosphere, killing one another.  That's definitely all higher good stuff! 

Sadly, I can't  take credit for having a quick 4 step model that we can follow to our own path of enlightenment or awareness, or greater good.  I will however write when I feel compelled, knowing that my own awareness of what is true for me, depends on it.  Meanwhile I'm going to actually start looking to my horses to teach me a thing or two about life, and how to enjoy it in the now, while we have a now left!

"One's own self is well hidden from one's own self: of all mines of treasure, 

one's own is the last to be dug up"  

Friedrich Nietzsche

Wake up and smell the Roses

Small Steps to greater awareness...

Each morning begins with Grace and I 'pad walking' for 40 minutes to stimulate her foot re-growth where the seedy toe has been cut out.

This has become a quiet time for me.  I don't do quiet easily. Yet going round and round in circles or squares or serpentine shapes, before offices awake and doors to shops swing open, there isn't much else to do.

I'm wearing my HeartMath machine.  I'm becoming predictable - the first few minutes I am Green (coherent)  as my awareness focuses on my breathing.   Then, lost in whatever journey my thoughts take me on I re-enter my 'base line state' which for me is Red.   This is my pattern and my default body talk state is 'hyper'.  Not good long term.  Not helpful for expanding my awareness (unless I want more of the same).

The good news is that as soon as I focus back onto my breath, and breath for 5; in and out; I'm Green.   So it can be done - an adjustment of my focus brings an adjustment in my nervous system.  I guess horses work the same way.  They quicken their breathing and flee!  They slow their breathing and rest!

This morning's walk provided another awakening moment.  Grace kept trying to pull me over towards some rose bushes.  I kept resisting.  Then I spoke aloud to her (as many of us horsey people do) and explained "we'll smell the roses in a minute"!  Then I laughed!  What a lovely metaphor for how I approach my life - 'saving the nice stuff for later'...

I stopped resisting and we went over to the roses.

If one picture could tell a thousand stories this would be my pick for today.  If a horse can seek out simple pleasures of smelling roses why can't we?  I am more and more convinced that my own three horses are trying to teach me how to 'wake up' to what's important.  

Today, I am going to pay attention for the next 24 hours to the symbology of moments like this.  To those moments where I resist; to those ideas I think I'll save for later... and ponder on the symbology of each moment to see what comes to light by looking through a different lens.

Surely that in itself will help my awareness grow a little more today?

F for Freedom

The more I journey into greater awareness of our Horse's needs the more I realise how asleep I've been, until now!

A horse has 3 vital needs:

1. freedom to roam, 
2. free access to forage (i.e. unlimited not inexpensive)!
3. friends (horses) to connect and contact with

So how similar our the needs of us humans to that of the horse?  In my opinion the answer seems to be VERY....

Looking first at "freedom", history offers many inspirational people and events to show us its importance...

 Emancipation of the Serfs

 Martin Luther King

 Emily Pankhurst

 Nelson Mandella

 Gay rights activists

Human history is peppered with bold and creative stories of individuals or groups striving to achieve freedom for self, or others. Our liberty extends beyond being a principle or need, it is a basic human right that appauls us if absent.

" Exemption from external control"

Freedom in the dictionary is defined as 'exemption from external control'.  In our daily lives this shows up in many ways - we have the freedom to roam and set up home where we chose, and with whom we chose; we are free to chose if we work, have freedom in how we dress, what we eat, how we exercise (if at all), what medical help we seek or accept; freedom of expression, and the freedom to  'find oneself'. 

How would you feel if you lost your freedom? Facing the potential loss of a driving license for many of us throws us into despair at the sense of imposed confinement and loss of choice. We hear on the TV of young girls forced into unhappy even abusive marriages, and we read of hostage taking or incarcerations in the name of Anti Terrorism.

In such circumstances how long would you want to keep 'giving your best'?  Would life seem rich in quality? Would you trust those around you? Would you fulfill your potential or have the resilience to carry on trying? 

The consequence to our human soul and spirit if we lose our freedom can be devastating.  Some of us wouldn't survive; giving up; our spirit broken. Perhaps this sounds familiar when horses spirits were deliberately broken in order that we could ride them.  In remembering the Horse's 3 needs we realise that they often don't have their first need: freedom. Sometimes they don't have it for the duration of their life!  So, why wouldn't the loss of such a fundamental need have an equally destructive effect on them, as it has upon us?

Consider the lifestyle of many horses today...

•  They are moved about the country, or world, with no say on where or when
• They are bought and sold with no say in by whom
• They have no control over a lifestyle spent indoors or outdoors 
• Are often kept isolated from contact with other horses
• Told when they can or can't run!
• Have a limited chance to self medicate and select natural remedies
• Exist without permission to self express; kick, leap, buck, rear, twist and turn whenever they want
•  Have no choice of 'mate' 
• No say in their quantity of offspring
• No enforced 'retirement' age
• Don't know that their schooling and education will one day be over

Are horses exempt from external control? Are they free to be happy?  Can they freely express who they are and be themselves? If not, how reasonable are we being species to species to expect them to trust us, reward us, partner with us, perform for us, obey us and succeed for us?

If the above list sounds exaggerated - that would be a good thing for our horses.  It's only when we take a moment to look at the life of our cherished friends using a self made list like the one above, that we can step back and address our horses' first need: that of freedom! Taking stock has got to be a good thing in the long run, its when we fail to stop and observe - that things can go from bad to worse in our own lives and perhaps for our horses too.

Ironically, many humans are drawn to horses because they represent freedom - images of the wind running through their manes and our hair.  Their freedom is an especially enticing one; being full of power, elegance, kindness and nobility.  Surely its time we returned back to them some of those characteristics and let them find more freedom in their daily lives with us.  Helping our horses experience their heritage might allow us to seek more ways to feel free in our lives.  Free from pressure, opression, duty, obligation, and the need to fulfill the expectations of others.

Essy expressed his desire to be free from ridden work and the saddle.  I've honoured that.  Instead we are forming a new partnership in hand and with walks around the Estate.  The benefits for me have been a sense of slowing down, relaxation and more time spent in nature with nature.

So far so good!

One thing leads to another...

"DA COSA NASCE COSA" 

Essy's wish for 'horsey humans' to grow in self awareness translates first as a desire to question those things that seem to have ceased to astonish us!  Most of all; who we are, and who is our horse?

Where do we start in discovering us both? 

Things to experiment with ....

- Use yourself as your subject for documentation - document your movements, actions, behaviour and conversations over a day, a week, a weekend.  This is known as the art of 'Self-Ethnography' - the documentation and analysis of the self as a foreign culture.  It means be fascinated in you!

- See your life as a film.  You are the film-maker.  Everything is a source. Your horse is a lead character.  What role would you have him/her play?  What character type must he fulfil?  What part will you play?  What's the beginning, middle and end?  Is there an epic scene?  What tragedy's befall you both?  Who is the hero/heroine?  What emotions and life lessons play out?

- Interact with your horse as if you are someone else! Pretend to be someone else.  What would....... do in a given situation with a horse?  Imagine you are in disguise.

- Alter your routines.  Do things in a different order.  With a different purpose.  Arrive at a different time having taken a different route to the yard/field.  Plan your time, or be totally spontaneous. Observe! Reflect!

- Attempt to see things from as many different angles as possible.  What options you have before you.  What are the many explanations you can come up with (then add another) for your horse doing or not doing something, as expected or desired?

- Use thought experiments. Ask yourself 'what would it be like to be a horse?'  'What would it be like to live in a stall, have someone on my back, jump fences, see behind me, be covered in fur?' Einstein used thought experiments to dream up the theory of relativity - an insight and moment of enlightenment that altered man's view of what was possible, forever!

In summary: Step 1 is about being willing to full experience and study things we don't understand, and to embrace that lack of understanding and enter into the unknown!

"The closer man gets to the unknown, the more inventive he becomes 
- the quicker he adopts new ways" 
 Buckminster Fuller

Seven Deadly Sins

It's easy to be critical of others.  It's especially so when others do and say things differently from yourself.

My work with Essy is helping me to tune into things that normally I might not tune into.  As an example I am now acutely aware of the things people say about their horses.  Sadly the tone of most owner/rider comments suggest we have a long way to go on our journey to greater awareness.

Awareness in this case meaning 'being awake' and consciously able to chose the things we say and the things we do.  (If ever we need a quick lesson into sizing up people - just notice what they say - the words and expressions they use.  It will tell you so much about their beliefs and attitude to life).

Awareness also means taking stock of how accountable we are for our actions; do we walk our own talk? It's also about our willingness to challenge ourselves when we hear ourselves say things we don't like or act in a way that doesn't make sense, isn't loving, or isn't in tune with the true nature of horses.

Below are 7 examples of some of the things I've heard over the last few weeks - sadly I'm sure horse lovers everywhere will recognise some if not all of them:

Deadly Sin No. 1:  Being unreasonable
   
One horse owner said to another owner  "No, my horse doesn't get a day off" 

Why?  I wondered. What does 7 days a week achieve? Is that how to be loving towards our horse or appreciative of his/her physical needs?  Don't we take a day off?  How many human athletes do any of us know that train 7 days a week throughout the year?

Deadly Sin No. 2: No common sense

I have heard many a horse owner say something similar to this... "she's lame - but I'll have to crack on as she is behind in her fitness"

Old fashioned sayings about " a stitch in time..." spring to mind!  How many other machines do you know that continue to work well and safely when broken or physically impaired?"  After all horses are machines right!

Deadly Sin No. 3: Abdicating responsibility

Having lived in southern baptist Texas, USA I am accustomed to hearing people say they'll "let God guide them or show them the way".  Rarely do I hear God's direction being used as the excuse for why we follow a particular course of action with our horses.  Yet, for many owners and riders the modern day "God" equivalent is the VET!  When you hear owners explaining "she's lame but the vet wants me to keep working her so that when she goes to the Vet hospital they can see the problem"  I wonder whose horse is it?  As a responsible owner if your vet said hang him up by his hooves would you try?

Does such advise ring true?  Is it really the best advise we can get?  Is it compassionate?  Surely catching something before it gets any worse optimises the horse's chance of recovery and lowers our vets bill?  Let's listen out for egotistical vet speak and find a more instinctive solution.

Deadly Sin No. 4: Sticking to the Agenda regardless

Riders often declare... "she doesn't look right behind or in front, I think ill get on and see how she is under saddle"

Always a safe option - not!, Of course you could  just leave her for a day and revisit the situation tomorrow. It must be too obvious and too simple because it's rarely followed.  More likely is the habit of being sucked into our own agenda of the moment  - "im here to ride, and so ride i will".

Deadly Sin No. 5: Forgetting actions speak louder than words

If I had a £ for every time i've heard someone utter the words... "if only horses could talk and tell us"

...as the horse limps along visibly unsound.  My guess is he is talking loud and clear - question is are we listening? 

Deadly Sin no. 6: Cruel to be kind; sometimes isn't!

A lovely horse owner recently admitted to me that their horse had suddenly been behaving badly - bucking, rearing, napping and refusing to load.  "We think he has ulcers that's why he is in boot camp with the trainer - to 'sort him out'" she said.
Are we really advocating treating a sudden change of behaviour with more ridden work and pressure?  How can a more experienced rider sitting on top, hope to address underlying internal health matters? Is it really easier (never mind right) to push on in such circumstances and force the horse through his issue versus giving him time off to properly diagnose and resolve the internal problem, once and for all?

Deadly Sin no. 7: Believing others know better

At a dressage camp this summer a rider came out of her lesson declaring the trainer had told her "I need to make him more scared of me than he is of the arena"

For a split second there is some logic to that statement.  This split second is however born out of arrogance - that we know better, that we must conquer and defeat the horse.  If we are awake we will realise that comments like this come from an attitude of aggression, oppression, arrogance and dominance.  When did such characteristics ever lead to anything other than war? It is wise to consider such perspectives when offered by others, but let's stay awake long enough to evaluate them for how well they fit with the kind of relationship we want with our horse.  Instead of taking it automatically on board, we could always ask the trainer for some alternatives?  What ideas does he/she have that come from a place of dominion and compassion instead?

Lecturing adults rarely gains follower-ship.  I am aware of that as I write. Yet, I know from my own bitter experience that until we are able to voice record ourselves as we go about our horsey business, then play the recording back to actually hear ourselves ... change doesn't happen.  We don't wake up.  We stay on auto-pilot believing what we've always told ourselves or had others tell us, is true.

It's time to stop, listen and think!  Listen to what we and others say and think (and the beliefs and ideology that lie beneath).  Be curious about the fact that we don't all talk the same way about our horses or riding experience - so what does it mean to have conscious choice over what we say?  How in control of what comes out of our mouths are we? 

I'm certain our horses would appreciate us listening to ourselves a lot more, before we try to become expert at interpreting them.  Who knows it might help us interpret with more accuracy and sincerity.

Put meaning to the saying "Life is a dictionary" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It costs nothing to pay attention to how we talk to, and about our horses - no expensive trainer or vet's call out charge.  As a final thought and to project an image of where I hope we can move away from - a woman spoke to me this week describing her two dressage horses as "this thing" and "the orange thing".  I was shocked.  I felt embarrassed.   I walked quickly away. Surely, this kind of unconscious language that we so easily use is the opposite of 'skilled horsemanship' or 'competitive riding'?

Such a simple throw away comment suggests we in the horse community have a long way to go before we break with traditional mindsets which to me seem  as out of place today, as Latin and embroidery lessons!