"When the student is ready,
the teacher will
appear"
- Buddhist Proverb
When was the last time you learnt
something? How do you know? When was the last time you wondered why a
particular horse is in your life? Why you? Why now?
Maybe you've heard others pondering such questions.
The journey of life is supposed to be the "all time teacher"
of everything we need to figure out! For most of us it is and it
does! However at times I must confess I wish it could do so without
certain lessons being repeated! You know the ones; incompetent Executives
in one company after another, people taking advantage, good luck
falling on the seemingly unworthy, or family members not listening
etc!
As I clipped Essy at the weekend I was having one of these conversations with a
friend and like minded spirit who is jockeying with her own personal journey
and beliefs.
Walking away from that conversation gave me cause to stop and once again
consider why Essy, Solar and Grace are all in my life, right here and
now. If I look at each of them as my teacher, what am I learning?
What are their specialist subjects?
Here's a glimpse of what I've discovered they are each helping me to learn...
A short cut summary:-
Specific Skills
|
Approach to life
|
Assertiveness
|
Drop
the agenda!
|
Being
present
|
Have
Fun & Play
|
Determination
|
Kindness inspires!
|
Minduflness
|
Less
is more!
|
Procrastinate/ do nothing
|
Live
each day one day at a time!
|
Physicality
– feel it!
|
Love
yourself always!
|
Proper
selfishness
|
Never
give up on self or others
|
Self
awareness
|
Say
what you mean; mean what you say!
|
Self
confidence
|
Trust
life and it’s abundance
|
Stillness
|
Unconditional
love – let it in
|
Stop
nagging
|
Worrying
doesn’t help!
|
And in more detail...
Essy's Specialist Subject
"Awareness, awareness and then some more
awareness.
Get that right and the best of the rest will follow in
abundance"!
Essy has taught me so much. For one thing being with him
keeps me in between that place of 'doing nothing' (at times) and its 'ok to sweat the small stuff' before it becomes big!
Essy is still teaching me on a weekly basis to stay calm and to wait and see
how things go before leaping into solution mode. It's a lesson in trust
and creating space. Usually not something I would value or think about let
alone do! Its as if I need to learn to let nature run its cause and do
its thing. It's a test I've been re-living thanks to him, even this week.
"Let it be, bide your time" might be
what he'd write if he could post it on my fridge door! The 'all knowing'
serenity he emits is the sort of wisdom reminiscent of Buddha. I am convinced
he is an enlightened horse.
If he were a University Professor, his lecture room would be full.
He has that unique combination of portraying stoic wisdom then a burst of
unbridled child-like fun. One moment he's immobile, snoozing peacefully,
the next he is careering around the field or menage like a toddler on sugar
steroids! To watch this horse leap about, like an over sized lamb with the
spring of a deer, is utter joy. I no longer fear his gay abandon as
potential for injury.
To see any creature so full of life and joy at
being in his own body; able to rear and bounce and buck at the same time while
calling out loud, fills me with laughter. (Apparently he's more dynamic
when I'm around so I assume there's a lesson for me buried in that too!)
His style of teaching is more akin to a skilled Coach specialising in
mindfulness. He doesn't give direction. He lets me figure things out for
myself, even when he's given the chance to spell stuff out via Margrit, he
likes to leave clues but that's your lot!
He asks insightful questions and always gives me crystal clear
feedback. He is able to pay great attention to being still. In the
moment. Quiet and all knowing. He calms and stills me if I just
follow his lead. Here is a horse who shows me as often as I care to notice,
the deep fulfilment it gives him to simply 'be' with me - breathing in sync
and being still together. Such simple and profound pleasures between two
species. No agenda, no talking or touching - just hanging out!
He is teaching me to live spontaneously as well as mindfully. He
is a master at noticing what he notices, to consider how it registers in his
body, where he feels the fear, sense his own body muscles tremble, when to take
a lead from someone else (me), and when not to and run! He has a decision
making pattern that is visible. Open to all. You can't judge Essy,
he is so natural and honest. He doesn't judge others in return. There is
no hidden agenda. No pretences. No falsehood. In his company,
everyone is drawn to him, and feels his love.
He is the most talkative Horse Ive ever known with a vocabulary of
different sounding whinnies and knickers depending on if he's been in all day,
if he's just had a blow out in the menage or field, and of course if I've been
absent on holiday! He has strong opinions about our relationship and time
together, but once he's shared it, he moves on.
He is a captivating teacher. I'd follow him to the end and back,
despite his own on /off relationship with self confidence. Perhaps it is
his humility that makes him such a talented teacher.
Solar's Specialist Subject
"Never give up!
Look at yourself as I see
you, and love yourself "
If ever a horse has reminded me of myself it's Solar. Always on
the move, busy with 'things to do, people to see'. Standing still is simply not
something she or I do voluntarily. We both have to be ill and feeling it,
before either of us stop and pause! Her 3 legged stance is her signature pose
whenever her movement is restricted!
Solar Sue is 'feminine personified': a mother (3 times),
sweet natured, loving, gentle and kind spirited. She is a natural carer,
nurturer and protector. She has saved me from nasty falls by literally
pushing me back into the saddle with her neck when she was down on both front
knees. Utterly selfless. I'll never forget that moment!
I admire how feminine she is. How proud she was of her last foal. If she
were human she would be the ultimate role model of being a wonderful soul and
being and nurturer. She teaches anyone willing to listen,
the art of Proper Selfishness. She knows that she has
to look after herself, take responsibility for her needs being met.
She'll be the first at the feeding bowl at food time, she'll gently prise grass
out of Essy's mouth! She does it so sweetly and gently that you can't
help but let her! It just seems right!
Her grace, poise and
natural ease at being female is a raw beauty. I've always struggled
with being a girl, wishing I had been born a boy and trying to act like one any
chance I get - except for urinating up trees!
Solar is teaching me to feel and accept unconditional love and that I am enough, right now as I
am! There is more of me (and you) to discover but we can take our time
doing so to enjoy the journey. She is gifted at looking at what is right
in front of her and really seeing what is there.
Her Master degree would be in 'unconditional love'. She sees and knows that
to others you, me, who we are, what we have, how we are, inspires others around
us (whatever our circumstances). No matter what negative self belief we
hold onto, to others we can be a source of inspiration.
She can be hard on herself when her
own health or body fails her. She is vulnerable like the rest of us to a
little self pity now and then. Yet she demonstrates with unfailing sacrifice
the need to be careful of such slips in mood and attitude. She is willing
to go to dark places and moods so that I can recognise them, see my own habits
and learn quickly from her journey. She is very in tune with both her own
body and mine.
Solar has taught me more than any other horse to be careful what we consciously
or unconsciously think about when we are around them. She has taught me
to see myself as she does. To drop the self criticism. To appreciate the
small things about my body and health. She has always paid a lot of
attention to my hands and my tummy area. She nestles her muzzle into my
tummy and utters a deep guttural sound. She does this only on occasion as
if to put me back in touch with the seat of my emotions - my solar plexus.
She is smart,
intuitive, empathic beyond belief. I am learning to accept her observations and
insistence's. I am learning to trust my instincts when I'm around
her. She is a fighter! A survivor and an equine angel!
Thanks to Solar I have come to believe that all of us, human or equine,
have an immense capacity to heal. To survive, to thrive if the body and
mind is nudged into the right direction.
Never has this been more evident than in Solar's life: a fractured hock,
bust Suspensory, torn Achilles tendon, Fibrotic Myopathy. Most of which I
was told she had slim chance of recovering from to any level of
soundness. All of which she has overcome and moves as well now as she did
6 years ago in her teens. She's taught me that it's what is on the inside
that really matters more than what's on the outside. My mother tried to
teach me this too, when I was a child, but with a horse like Solar
looking at me as steadily as she does, it's a lesson I can no longer deny.
If she were in human form she'd be my Mentor. I'd go to her for advise,
direction and to be told what to do. She is the consummate Role Model of the
many different roles females choose to fulfil in life, all of them, with good nature and
acceptance.
Grace's Specialist Subject
"I don't do pressure and nor should you!
Play to your untaught talents and less is always
more!"
If you watched Grace and I lunging, as I've
mentioned before, you would notice the life lesson in Assertiveness unfolding
before you. Instead of fearing her reaction If I get in her space/face,
as I used to, I now laugh out loud. Literally. I appreciate
her reminding me with her head and neck tossing and
body snaking in at me
that 'like it or not, I have to be assertive'. Not all the time.
But when my requests are within her capability to do what I'm asking, then it
is OK to insist.
I didn't used to get after her and insist, nor laugh at her reaction back, I
used to be frightened to death of her size, power and ability to endanger
herself and others as she backward rears and double barrels before galloping off on
the lunge at break neck speed!
It took me a while to realise the important lesson she was teaching me
and not to read it as a 'naughty horse' which she is not. Of course the
life lessons we are here to learn are often invisible to start with until the
sound gets turned up and gets our attention! This usually arrives in the
form of accidents, trips, spills, falls, illnesses etc. I am fast learning
that our horses are metaphors for important lessons to learn
in life providing we stop to assess them.
So on the lunge, in the stable or under saddle I now know that 'meaning what I
say, and saying what I mean' in terms of aids, gestures, tone of voice, etc are
my new found skills of assertion. Thanks to Grace!
Grace, unlike me had a solid, secure
childhood and felt loved enough. It shows. She is calm, curious,
confident about the world she lives in. Strangers, dogs, fences, bricks,
tarpaulin, fox bones, farrier tools, you name it they all hold her attention
for long periods of time. It's as if she is on earth to soak up every little detail of life. It is captivating watching her assess and absorb life, catching snow flakes on her lips and watching birds fly by over head.
As a horse she is a
fast learner. She is a good at reminding me that 'when you've got the
point, move on' - less is more! She lets me know the second I begin to
nag her (isn't that a great lesson for any woman living with a man to learn) -
and, when it's all getting a bit boring!
Grace is helping me to lift my self awareness and consciousness about what I am
doing, why, when and how to recognise that it's time to do something else. Usually it's around the message 'there's an easier way...!'
With Grace I have succumbed to fear! Pure, roar, leg trembling, fear.
It's been the first time in my riding career. Fortunately I have
plenty of 'mind
therapy' techniques to move beyond the fear. However, what I
am learning to embrace is the fact that it returns! Suddenly, with good
reason, but there it is. The speed with which it arrives is only matched
by the speed with which I'm now able to rectify it's hold over me. This
is a lesson I'm only too happy to share with others and pass on whenever I get
the chance.
Grace was 6 when I got her. She is now 8. Grace turns everything into a
game if she can! One of her best games is lifting people up by their
clothing! Podiatrists, old mothers - everyone is fair game!
She is teaching me
that it really is OK to have 'fun' with your horse even at my old age of
49. It's sad to think of the things I would do as a kid, with my pony
that I stopped doing as an adult.
Being serious is dull! Being an adult doesn't mean I can't still do
child-like things with my horses and Grace is helping me to realise that.
Besides other horse owners play with their horses take for example another horse lover and blogger - whose posts are on The Spoken Horse.
Perhaps Grace's biggest life lesson for me; a personal one, is that it's never
too late! Never too late to find the right person, teacher, or
friend. Never to late to re-visit a dream and re-ignite it. Never
too late to hope! Never too late.... I am developing optimism and
it feels great thanks to her.
In conclusion...
The enormity of the gifts horses have to offer us to promote our
awareness, well being and healing, has no bounds. They are without formal
education, qualifications, diplomas and letters after their names. Yet
the scruffiest, most inexpensive, mixed breed horse will have as much to teach
us as the elite performing, pedigree, performance horse. Just as it is in
life!
For me, the two stand out strengths of horses is their bravery and
kindness. They continue to be there for us, willing to live our way, be
ridden even when in pain, and NOT kill or harm us even when they could!
Their ability to teach us kindness is awesome. They never judge us, as
many human teachers do, with claims of "you'll never amounting to
anything!"
If I consider the horses around me today,
in my daily life, they have the capacity to teach us so much:-
- how to look
at the symbolism of life and it's events,
- to wake up and be aware of what we do, feel, think and say,
- to accept life's events with good grace,
- to not live
from a place of blame, resentment, retaliation
-to ask for
help; over and over again.
- to listen (using
ears, eyes, energy and your full body presence),
- to try to trust even when scared out of their skin,
- to feel; emotions, senses, and not conceal them,
- to accept who we are, be vulnerable and humble.
I fully understand that some horses however, are living (like us) a
daily struggle. Filled with physical pain, emotional hurt, confusion and
loss of Self or friendship. They live on the edge of emotional survival
or break down. Some do not have the environment around them to allow them
to find those break through moments of peace, healing and tranquillity that
allows them to be the innate teacher they are born to be. Many of these
horses have the most important lessons to offer us.
How many of us have seen horses abused in the
hands of humans? Some put up a fight with hooves, teeth, speed,
strength. Many however do not. Many teach us that dominion not
chauvinism is the stronger force. It is in how they 'take their
unjust punishment' in the hands of the uneducated or unkind that inspires me -
yards and fields are full of Equine-Mandelas!
As a case in point, I am posting a link below to a blog I read
recently. It left a strong visual imprint in my mind of how horses, when
in pain, despite vets diagnosis, will continue to put up the warning lights
that there's a problem.
If you read the link, stop at the moments where the author talks about how her
horse would bend around and with his mouth, take her leg off his side as she
rode him. Could a horse communicate with any more clarity than to say
"please get off me...I'm asking as nicely as I can..."
That's the point, when in pain or fear, so many horses will still choose to
teach us the power of respect, courtesy and not to use might and force!
Such a horse in the article could have viciously bucked his rider off, but
didn't. Ultimately his human felt she had no choice but to put a greater
outcome ahead of her own agenda. That's clearly a life lesson that will
remain with her and she is sharing with others. So I pass it on too (see
link below).
It is on behalf of these horses; in
pain, misunderstood, treated like machines that Essy's Wishes is seeking to
help prompt humans to wake up and tune in to a more enlightened way of
being!
It's hard to begin to capture how much I've
learnt since leaving formal education, simply by spending time with my
horses. I do know that all the Geography, Chemistry and French hours of
study over many years haven't left me remembering an awful lot. Yet my
lessons with these horses are as clear as the sound of the ocean, or as crisp as the smell
of fresh cut grass.
What I have learnt so far, is just the tip of the iceberg (I hope)! It's exciting to
think what a bright beacon of light to humans and animals, we can
become, because of the life lessons our equine friends are willing to share
with us.
Blog link referenced above
:http://animalosteopath.wordpress.com/2014/01/17/in-which-animal-osteopath-looks-inside-her-horse/
