When you feel the PULL; go with it...

 If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, 

does it make a sound?

 

Walking along the beach today my husband and I were talking about this and that.  He suddenly said 'knowing you and the way your mind works that will probably come true'.  I can't actually recall the topic of conversation at that moment, but I did ask him to clarify.  He went on... 'you tend to think things and it happens or appears'.  I thought for a second and said 'then where's the million quid I've been after for some time now?'  'Good question' he replied.

All this talk of 'thoughts becoming things' and 'thoughts having energy' and 'thoughts manifesting themselves in reality' does beg a question - "what is real?"  "What is reality?"  "How do thoughts play a role in the life we lead?" 

Most of us grow up and live our lives right to the end believing certain truths such as:-

When I'm awake, things around me are real.  It exists.  I exist.   

When I'm asleep images and dreams are not real. It's all made up in my mind.

I first questioned the accuracy of the first statement when the film What the Bleep came out.  Physicists it seems already knew that actually things are not real as we believe in fact it's all a bit of an illusion! 

This laptop, the table its purchased on, the chair holding my weight - it's all made up of mostly space.  Fast moving atoms, particles, quarks and the like, spinning around in a pattern so fast it gives the illusion of being solid and real, but it isn't!  

Ok, I won't refute that because smarter people than I have proved it is so but, as I'm not consciously thinking about this chair, or table, what happens if do start to consciously think about them?  Can I 'think them' away, think them to stop spinning, to no longer exist and to collapse and disappear leaving me in a heap on the floor?  I wont try now, but I suspect it's not quite that simple.

So, to the second statement above. 

If things I can see and touch are actually more up more of space than matter, why are the topics of my dreams any less real than these solid objects - that aren't solid at all?  Details in dreams are as vivid and clear as the grain in this table top, or the feel of this keyboard under my finger tips. Why do we believe they aren't real in some way? It seems fundamentally illogical to me.

Who says what is real and what is not?

Everyday objects made of space

We have learnt to assume that we can rely on tables and chairs to do their job, pens and plates alike.  So when we do realise that some beliefs are flawed, faulty, then you have to question what other beliefs are true and not true?

I'm beginning to think the answer about what is real and true lies within us.  It lies within concepts such as intuition, calling, knowing, seeking meaning and purpose.  We recognise it when we get to a point in life where we are being pulled towards a new way, or pulled away from a pre-existing way.

I am in that "pull" now and have been for a while, I'm not sure how long, but I'll be examining the last 6 months as a starting point, in further posts.   Below is one such true story from this week which illustrates how that 'pull' is shifting me.

About 3 weeks ago, during a casual conversation with a dear friend, we both remarked how 'feral' our horses had recently gone - both since moving yards at the same time last August. 

Our horses (of different genders, ages and backgrounds) were now loving field life in a small herd,  so much so that they were both throwing right little wobblers when brought in or asked to do some work!  Both horses had gone from a yard we were at together where turn out was limited in hours and space, and where horse company was across an electric fence.

Both horses were now reveling it seemed in a more natural horse life

but with some negative consequences for us human owners and carers

Grace had become a bit of a worry. 

In the stable if her field buddies weren't around or were taken to be ridden she would throw herself around the stable, double barreling the back walls, rearing and lunging at the side walls or door.  It was nothing short of a miracle that she hadn't caused herself a serious injury!

Long story short my friend was having behavioural issues too with her 28 year old boy who was now ploughing through and over her and anyone who got in his way of his new found play mates. 

She had planned to ask a friend of hers to help.  A friend who could communicate with animals.

'Said friend' is a very attractive lady I guess in her early 40's - a grown up age with a proper job. She has a husband with a proper job, a beautiful home, prestigious car and all the outward trappings of a totally normal lovely person.  She is very real.  She exists, I've met her so you can believe me on this one!

Unlike conventional wisdom suggests, she doesn't jingle as she walks, wears no bells around her head or ankles,  she doesn't clutch at snow globes or waft beads in your face when you visit.  Her house doesn't possess a single wall mounted 'angel' that I saw, nor does it reek of incense.  Yet, despite these absences (or any others you may care to list), she does have an ability to tune into horses, to connect and to communicate with them.  She rarely speaks of it and so she will remain anonymous in my blog, by virtue of respect for her humility and gift.

I asked my friend if she would put in a word for Grace when she next spoke to her pal and see if she could help Grace too, after she had helped my friend's feral 28 year old!

I made no mention of my request or this plan to anyone else.  I didn't even mention it to Grace.

A few days later whist on the yard, Charlotte the yard groom mentioned to me how 'calm' Grace had been that morning - no head tossing, no demanding to be rugged up and turned out first.  Interesting! I noted it and thought nothing further.

 Grace and I Selfie Moment

As the week continued, more reports of a calm, 'wobble free' Grace came back to me.  I in turn was experiencing a much calmer Grace in the menage on the lunge so much so I was not lunging her in a saddle with dangling stirrup irons!

After a few days I contacted my friend to see if she had spoken to her pal about my request for her to tune in with Grace. The answer was yes, they were 'in touch'.

Apparently Grace was a bit 'hard to connect with' she was 'so busy in mind and body' - no shit batman, tee hee!  My mates pal had therefore contacted Grace through her own horse (who when I met him ten days ago was a male double of Grace).

In summary, they had talked.  There had been a discussion about the consequences of Grace's behaviour in the stable and Grace had seemed oblivious to any dangers she had been causing both to herself or to others. She was mortified. 

Her behaviour changed and her tantrums stopped! 

After about ten days of others wondering what I 'had been giving Grace' to create this transformation I revealed my secret.

It's always a big moment when you declare to another that you have reached out to an animal communicator - as surely that isn't real?  Surely it's just evidence that you have 'lost the plot' or are 'out with the fairies'!  Some may even see it as irresponsible or abdicating your accountabilities.  I didn't feel that way at all.

Against such resistance what made me 'fess up'? 

Is it confidence that makes you tell people who could laugh at you, that you've climbed the wall and gone over the other side into never never land?  Is it reaching a certain age where other's opinions matter less to you?  Or, is it the fact that if you are willing to re-examine what is real, then the proof of animal communication was right in front of us,  and been witnessed by all of us in close quarters to Grace?

I've discussed animal communication and the wonders of it before in Convincing Evidence, and is there a Dr Doolittle in us all, and of course at the inception of this blog after a visit from Margrit Coates (see posts Feb 2013).  I'm realising now that it doesn't remain the gift of just those people who are well known, have written books or tour the world helping animals and become 'accepted'.  It lies within many people's ability if they are open to it.

When I got the call this week, on Wednesday about Grace jumping out of her field, after auto pilot took me through a panic stricken series of logical based questions and planning,  I reached out to my friend's animal communicator! To do so was as natural as falling off a horse!

I came off the phone and reached out for my mates' pal once more to ask her if she could check Grace was physically OK.

I sent her an email and text with a brief outline of her having jumped out, not moving well but seemed free from any obviously horrid injury.  She replied within seconds that she would get in touch immediately.

The Result:

Bottom line Grace was physically OK, just had sore legs like when you've had a work out in the Gym!  Phew!

Then it turned interesting, as apparently Grace's 'nose was out of joint' and it had something to do with a new horse's arrival on the yard.  She gave specifics - a grey, gelding, who had Evented.  True, a new horse had arrived about 2 weeks earlier and was in the field next to Grace.  Was she trying to show him she could jump too?  I don't know, but she had also shared a strong sense of being bored!

It was all fitting into place.   Days before my holiday I was dying to start riding Grace after a few months break, feeling she was more accepting having left her feral stage behind.  However, It seemed unfair to start riding again, to then go on a two week holiday and halt the flow.  I don't like stop start and assumed Grace wouldn't either.  Chelsea and I discussed it and we agreed it made more sense to start again, on my return.

Now, if someone today asks me is animal communication real?  

I know I can't reach out and touch it, sit on it, type on it, or serve dinner on it! But, how can I reasonably consider it not to be as real as the objects that do help me do those things?

Sure it could be a lucky break to guess that a new horse was on the scene, to know the gender (a 1 in 2 chance of being right), the colour (longer odds) and to know something of it's work history.  All I know is that I had no idea this was impacting my horse and how she was feeling and would never in a month of Sunday's have considered it as part of the explanation for her adventures round the property. 

We Humans love facts and this animal commmunicator was able to give me plenty each of which was easy to confirm or refute.

Grace and field buddies doing what horses should do!

Calm has been restored on the yard, and since receiving Grace's feedback about what was upsetting her, Chelsea has watched Grace very closely.   Yesterday she sent me a message to say she's noticed that Grace does in deed watch this grey gelding a lot.

No doubt the communication and understanding process in this little scenario has only just begun, and there will be more work to do once I'm home again.

In summary, this episode suggests to me that next time you wonder what is real and what is not, look beyond what is in front of your nose and seen to be real.

Listen to your instinct, intuition, idea, or desires and go with the direction and flow they take you in, however crazy you think that might be! 

Judge what is real based on what resonates and makes sense for you, your loved one, and not for anyone else.

Above all have faith that whatever sense of 'pull' that you are following is there for a reason; even if that reason is at the moment, unclear.

As suggested earlier, I have more true events and stories from the last 6 months to share on this blog.  Not all of them involve my horses, but they all speak to my eyes being opened, to new landscapes appearing and to something else growing within and around me. 

I am convinced I have the horses to thank for this! 

Turning Despair into Hope for Horses - Keep the positivity going

Despair ...

 "to no longer have any hope or belief that a situation will improve or change"

 

I love Facebook and Social Media 

I hate Facebook and Social Media.

I love being connected to the greater world

I hate being connected to the greater world.

I know I don't live inside a bubble

I wish I lived inside a bubble.

I want to know how others think, love and cherish

I shudder at how little others think, love and cherish.

It's remarkable how quickly your positive thoughts and feelings one moment can deep dive into doom, gloom and despair the next.

I have 4 Facebook pages and anyone can follow any of them whenever you want.  It serves a purpose of capturing thoughtful moments, special occasions, inspiring quotes and a vehicle for some of my blogs.

I find it very hard to receive other people's facebook page images of dead horses, mutilated dogs and abandoned cats, then sleep easy at night!

I'm filled with despair at human kind and where we are heading with such ability to disregard the life and rights of others. Where has all our kindness gone? Where is our compassion?

I suppose that I have not joined up with some who cry out to stop sharing such images in case it does in some way help to raise awareness and spur people into corrective action.  Hope springs eternal!

I have even joined and supported one such group "help the horses of Fosse Park" and joined them to protest last year outside Parliament for better protection for neglected horses.  (See post from last year). 

I have learnt over the years from first hand experience, that with large animals the RSPCA acts only when a horse is actually on the verge of death,  - as happened last night right outside my own home.  This too should change and I wont donate to them until it does.

In addition to last nights tragedy on my door step, I am currently looking after 2 abandoned ponies, plus filly and foal - a total of four gorgeous hungry mouths - also close to my home.  Dragging 60 litres of water into their field each day and spreading a bale of hay out for them is all I can do, but I won't watch them starve to death or die from dehydration when I can do something no matter how small.

Abandoned Mare

With her foal and youngster

Overgrown, neglected hooves on the young gelding

Its such a topsy turvy world: the land owner (where the four under my watch are temporarily residing) does nothing with his land - its disused, full of broken glass bottles, wood pallets, butane gas canisters, and general debris.   There's no proper fencing to keep livestock off the road.  Yet, he's put a sign up (as is his right) warning that these horses will be removed if not claimed and taken.  Why?  What harm are these four doing?  Of course he is right to be worried, as 4 small ponies today, could easily become 10 or 24 in a matter of days or weeks...  

... It seems we abandon our horses as easily as we discard our litter all over the road side.

There are days when it gets to me and seems overwhelming.  There is such a sense of hopelessness as people all over the country report via social media similar problems and sightings of animals in plight. 

Is this the slippery slope down for mankind, how much further south can we head?

I hope not.   I chose (on most days) to believe not.  Each bad day, where I'm having doubts an 'angel' seems to appear in some form or fashion.  Take yesterday,  as I fed and watered the four 'strays' two men (strangers), approached wanting to know if the horses were mine.  One had brought a bag of carrots and another a small container of water for them.  I wanted to smile at the 3 litres of water for 4 animals thinking - that's not really worth bothering, but I answered their questions and thanked them for their help.  

The joy and relief to know other people will help and do whatever they can - however small is priceless; a tonic.  People do what they can, with what resource they have, and using what knowledge they possess, it's not up to those of us who may know a little more to go around putting others down with our facts and know how.

I am blessed to know people like Margrit Coates and Chris Day who remind me of the need to be positive around horses especially those that are suffering.  To be, as the quote above suggests  that bright 'light' for them in that moment.

Last night, as I drove off and rounded the corner, the Police and RSPCA were in attendance of a distressed horse they had now put out of it's misery. A woman walking her dog passed the field and  saw the horse in distress and called everyone she could think of.  She was wrapped in a blanket clearly in shock at what she had witnessed.

Life can be a cruel awakening if you are blanketed from it's reality.

These are the moments where hope is restored and where one by one each of us really can make a difference.  I expect that lady didn't sleep well last night but I hope in her heart she knows she did good today!  She did something, she took action and helped a horse in need.  

Now all we have to do is to start finding ways to take action BEFORE horses suffer so needlessly.  

If you feel you haven't done enough yet to raise your voice to support horses after all they have done for mankind through wars, agriculture, policing and sports, or simply because you see their beauty, and feel the wisdom in their eyes,  you can do something NOW.

On Valentines Day there will be a further protest in London.  Further details are on the dedicated Facebook page.

Join in! What have you got to lose? 

Both horses and humans have so much dignity to re-gain.

Heavy frost adds to the beauty

Today is a new day.  Tomorrow will be too.  I thank goodness for nature, for landscapes such as this morning and for heavy frosts that lace your eyes with a freshness that inspires hope. 

This morning's slow sun rise

Happiness Heals...

Health and Happiness. Are the two linked?

It's been a profound day...

For at least the last 4 years Essy has had a small dark wart-like growth on the left hand side of his neck, with no hair around the immediate area.  The vet has taken a look and because over the time it hasn't grown, I've left it alone.  No ointments, herbs, parsley or butter rub!! (A little joke for my husband's benefit). 

Tonight, the wart was gone!  Gone!  Disappeared.  Totally vanished.  Just like that.

As you can see the bald patch is still there.

It's very weird that it's gone.  It's just as weird that there's no hole, mark, scar or audit trail of it's demise or existence.

Did he scratch it off (and leave no mark, blood, wound)?  Even though warts don't suddenly move around the body over night (to my knowledge), I found myself looking all over his body for it! 

Crazy I know, but last night it was there still, and then tonight it wasn't! Now that's crazy!

As I drove home I called the 'Old Woman' and our friend whom I've referred to before, as an 'angel', to tell them both.  They each have an intimate knowledge of Essy, and his lumps and bumps so I knew they would both be as gobsmacked as I was feeling.

They were!

The old woman suddenly asked "do you think he is so happy he just healed himself"?

The question felt profound.  It felt remarkably right.

Yet, it also implied that for the duration of his wart's presence, i.e. the last four years, he has not been a happy horse.  That's not a great thought to hold as his carer and person responsible for his lifestyle and happiness.

Yet over the last four years he hasn't lived out 24 x 7 as he is doing now.  In fact since we left a DIY life in 2010, his turnout time has always been compromised by Livery rules and hours of operation.  Over the last 2 years turn out time has been reducing year on year, until now. 

It seems a life of compromise can  produce unhealthy results.

From Human research we know that if someone is sick, happiness makes them feel better physically. Happy people also cope better with stress and trauma, are more resilient, have stronger immune systems, and live longer.

Ok, but when it comes to a horse, does the concept of Happiness apply?  Some experts suggest that with humans we need to differentiate between happiness and joy.  As an example, they make the point that "Happiness depends on things. Joy is unconditional.”

I believe some people would argue that happiness does not depend on things, but many would agree that it does siting a better job, bigger bank balance, being taller, slimmer, having a prettier face, a faster car, more luxurious holidays, or a second home would make them feel more happy.  I've beleived it too, for many years.

Do horses feel happiness?  Do horses feel joy?  

There are definitely ways to see joy in their body, their movement,  energy, through their field games, their interaction with life and others, their appetite, coat condition and health.  Their general level of  "joie de vivre".  

I don't know if that qualifies for happiness,  joy, both or neither. 

Conversely we should be able to see an absence of happiness or joy. But sometimes, we don't.

Sometimes we learn to accept in  ourselves or others, including our horses a sense of resignation, a sense of 'making do', a noble but miss placed sense of acceptance of 'our lot'. 

Tonight I am wondering if this is how Essy has been feeling.  If this is what he has been doing - accepting 'his lot' and not complaining or making a fuss. 

Now, just two weeks into his life of being a wonderfully retired horse living out with his companion of 15 years, 24 x 7, his happiness can return.  Maybe now he is feeling joy again.

Is his "health" following a renewed sense of happiness?

In humans, we learn that happiness can be developed in 5 ways.  As I list them, I think about how it applies to our horses too:-

The 5 ways to develop happiness are:

1. Be physically active. There is bountiful research backing the premise that exercise improves mood and leaves us feeling good about ourselves.

Essy has not only put on weight in the last two weeks (as has Solar Sue) but they have both put on muscle and muscle tone. No grass pot bellies, just a case of all round "filling out" and beautiful to see.

2. Meditate/Focus. Meditation, avoiding over thinking, and increasing “flow experiences” (activities that cause you to lose track of time) are all ways to get the mind right.

It has been uplifting to watch Essy and Solar snooze, rest under the tree, pause from grazing and enter that zen like state of just 'being'.

3. Laugh. The phrase “laughter is the best medicine” isn’t just a euphemism. Laughter is proven to prevent heart disease, lower stress hormones, strengthen the immune system, and reduce food cravings. It also has anti-aging benefits.

I sometimes think my herd has a ripe sense of humour as trying to get a photo of any of them with their ears forwards, their eyes open or without their tongues poking out, is a daily challenge.  The joke is on me, I'm sure...

4. Be social. When we’re not feeling well, we tend to isolate ourselves. In reality, that’s the worse thing we can do. Having social connections and a strong support system can greatly improve one’s health.

Given the chance to graze together, side by side, Essy does.  Up close and personal with Grace below:-

5. Be spiritual. Getting in touch with our spiritual side can do wonders for our physical health.  This is especially valuable for those approaching the end of life. Not everyone gets cured, but we can be healed, from a spiritual perspective.

I never seem to have my camera with me when Essy and I stand as we did tonight together, for ages, neither of us moving, next to each other in the field doing absolutely nothing.  Just surrounded by silence, air and other horses.

The only sound to punctuate the silence are Essy's occasional deep belly driven exhalations.  I always wish afterwards that there was a way to capture it.  It is as serene and as moving as when I first experienced it with Essy during Margrit's visit last year.  

The lack of 'doing' and saying or even thinking, is the beauty of the experience.

They are moments I treasure even though they are daily.  I'll never get bored of it, and never complacent.  It actually feels like an honour. 

Despite our differences as species it is incredible to me that he seems to want these moments, just the two of us, and doesn't move a muscle until he is ready to 'come out of it'. 

As an experience, and due to the feelings (usually tears) in produces from me, if these moments aren't spiritual, I don't know what is.  It's not about singing, hymns or prayers  - certainly no religious service has ever reduced me to tears and tranquility all at the same time.

It's an added pleasure that they are happening outdoors, in his field with the other two in our herd quietly wandering off to leave us alone to enjoy our connection.

Hope Changes Everything

"Hope springs eternal in the human breast;

Man never is, but always to be blessed:

The soul, uneasy and confined from home,

Rests and expatiates in a life to come"

In my late teens I studied the works of Alexander Pope and his "Essay on Man" is very much at the forefront of my thoughts these days, in particular the concept of HOPE.

In business I 'expatiate' often with Executives to remind them that "hope is not a strategy" and that action is required to make things happen and achieve results. 

***

It was an ordinary workday night, in 2004, winter lay eagerly waiting outside and inside the Ballroom of the Dorchester Hotel 300 posh-frocked business men and women sat down for a banquet dinner.

I was there less for the dinner and more for the after dinner speak - Terry Waite.

I have long been fascinated by man's ability to live within his mind, when adversity and isolation are his only companion.  During the 1990's each day, month and year of normality that passed by for you and I, coincided with Terry Waite lying chained and blindfolded in a hell-hole of captivity.

His situation held a fascination for me then, as it does still today.  How can a person endure such loneliness, fear and loss of control and freedom?

In 2004, Several years on from his captivity I was to hear him recount first hand his experience and how he survived.  The answer; in a single word was his HOPE.  

I've never heard a room fall so silent in awe, fear and inspiration at one man's single achievement of emotional survival having only his freedom at the end to show for it.  Everyone realised that 'there for the grace of god go I'.... Many in the room were moved to tears with the enormity of his situation and the enduring power of HOPE.

If HOPE,  can endure 5 years of captivity - almost 4 of which were in isolation,  then how else can HOPE serve us and our lives?  What other manifestations of hope might be possible in every day life for every day people like you and I?

When Chris Day came to visit Essy and I in March this year, I will never forget the 'feeling' I was left with after his visit.  Utter relief; as if some invisible burden was lifted from my shoulders. I had no idea why.  Privately,  I felt uplifted by a small 'throw away' sentence he'd uttered during the consultation....that alongside homoeopathy "there are always miracles"! Did I dare to hope he was right?

I look back now and realise subconsciously how I latched onto those precious words like the last few drops of water in a desert.

I've been delaying writing this post today, nervous that I would somehow jinx Essy and the results I'm seeing since the homoeopathy, but it is time to put a written record out there, for any other horse and human who when they encounter the limits of veterinary medicine believe what they are told - that the end of the road might be close.

I want to once and for all correct such a limiting belief and remind us that horses, healing, the miracles of the universe and our under-utilised mental powers are still very much available if only we will believe.

To get to the crux, today is June 8th and Essy has not had a bleed since April 29th.  

What role has HOPE played in this process? I have no idea.  I know Ive had buckets of hope welling up inside me, over flowing with each single day that has passed free of bleeds.  Ive gradually begun to believe in these pills. I believe in the results in front of me.  I no longer walk up to him scanning his nose for signs of blood. I no longer ask every day, if anyone else on the yard has seen blood? Nor do I scrutinise the floor, stable door, or walls for signs of a bleed. 

Each day, I still can't quite believe it.  Two weeks ago I had a slight panic (as is my nature), thinking 'where is all that discharge going?'  Chris explained  that he "hopes it is simply ceasing to exist".

There you have it ..... one minute something exists, the next it doesn't. 

Like Terry Waite's freedom, like life in general (See Death in the air).  It's almost too simple to be credible.  But, the proof is in front of me each day.  Like problems of any kind, before they exist - they don't!  Once they've been resolved their gone again! Common colds come and go, debt builds and then gets cleared.  Rivers fill and drain. It's the natural cycle of life in so many ways.

I have been hoping and praying along with visualising that these clever sugar pills will do something miraculous that I have no comprehension about, and for once, I no longer feel I need to understand how or why!

I know others will hear what I heard from well scholared vets that there is nothing to be done!  No treatments are possible.   My advise is believe what YOU want to believe.  Trust in your horse and as Solar Sue said to Margrit Coates:

"DON'T GIVE UP ON US"

It's heartening to know that there are nearly always options; further paths to explore, wonders to be had, extremists, nutters, quacks, holistic approaches - call them what you will.  Our job as guardians of our horses surely is to keep hoping we'll find something.  To keep looking, searching, stay open minded and as I advise my corporate clients - "take action" +  HOPE!

Essy March 2014

The Problem with my Horse... is ME!

"What If... 

 

 

We are our horses worst nightmare!  

 

We are the problem?

 

Executive summary of this post - to help you decide if you want to read on...

1. I don't join clubs or groups and believe their existence results in complacency 

2. I don't follow one 'natural horsemanship method' above any of the others as none of them work on the issues of both the horse and the human/owner/rider/carer

3. Horses and riders reflect each others physical body tension, pain and areas of problem

4. Personal change has to come from within, and always starts with us first.  

5. We're crazy if we think we can change our horses innate qualities, no more than we can change our spouse or boss!

6. Find gurus, teachers, trainers who put YOU at the centre of training with your horse; your mind, spirit and body.

ta da!

------------------------------

Since 2004 I have studied with the Intelligent Horsemanship team in the UK,  I have learnt the Parelli methods and followed the work of Mark Rashid.

Still, I have no horse rider /trainer heroes and don't swoon to be in the presence of people who might have won Olympic Medals, Badminton, HOYS, or some other trophy or bauble.  I am not a disciple of anyone or any method.

I hope to become a better more informed disciple of THE HORSE and who he/she is.  To do that I believe we have to learn more about who WE ARE in the process!

Who Am I? Who are you?

Groups/Clubs etc:

Last week I encouraged another blog writer - the talented Issy Clarke - see her blog entry -  NOT to worry about NOT being a member of any particular horse Group.  Groups I believe can provide warmth, comfort and the security, the kind of support that hanging out with like-minded thinkers offer when were on the same wave length.  Great for a night in the Pub!

However, they can also become places of mediocrity and complacency.  Places where it is too easy to agree with each other and seek only evidence that further supports our agreed upon 'way'.  This is at the expense of challenging 'group thinking'  in pursuit of finding 'new' perspectives. 

Some people don't fit into normal conventions.  They aren't followers.  They have a spark of relentless curiosity that sets them apart - they are people who might just discover a new way!  They are the "Map Makers", setting out new terrains so others can follow if desired.

These are the people I prefer to hang out with given half a chance!  Are you one of these people? Do you recognise yourself below?

Have you invented, created anything (idea, method, tool, process)?

Have you had a breakthrough discovery at home, work, or with your horse?   

If you had to come up with your own 'way' of being with your horse could you?  

What would you create?  

What direction would you venture off in?

Do others seek you out and want to follow you?

Are you an inventor or Map Maker? 

Do you WANT to be for reasons other than fame or fortune?

"Natural" Religion!

I haven't found a 'system' yet, (natural or otherwise), that works simultaneously on both the horse and the human.  Until I do I doubt I'll become a fanatic of anything.

Logic alone suggests working on only one half of any partnership has only a 50% chance of success - long term.   If you and your spouse needed marriage counselling, you'd both have to go, right!

Sending your horse off to be 'fixed' (using whichever method or trainer grabs you) simply means the horse comes back changed, (hopefully for the better), to return to YOU; who is the same, unchanged - except for raised expectations of your newly fixed horse! 

The horse often returns to the same barn, same lifestyle and diet.  So now the horse is different but you and his environment are not.  Fixing just the horse lacks the basic realisation that successful relationships are based on equality.  One of us (no matter how big shouldered we are) can't do it all!

 "Every behaviour problem expressed by a horse, anywhere, everywhere, originates in an experience with a human" 

- Joe Camp - Author "Born Wild"

Body to Body:

To wet your appetite, when  we run Equilates clinics at Jigsaw Equine, it's a visual reminder how in sync with our horse's bodies, we can be, for better or for worse. 

If the rider has a crookedness, it's likely the horse will too.  If the rider sits lob-sided the horse will struggle with canter leads.  If the rider holds tension, neck, shoulders, arms, the horse won't relax or move productively.  Etc.  

Notice how many people walk leaning forwards and complain of their horse being on the forehand.  Or, the rider who lacks energy and sloths around then complains they have to 'kick and kick' their horse to get him to move!

Or the rider who races around on 'warp speed' and wonders why every horse they sit on ends up a fizz bomb!

We are mirrors of one another in our energy, physicality and emotionally.  (More on this another day).

Change from within:

"It's my responsibility to change"

Here's what I believe about 'change'...

It's very much an 'Inside out approach'.  Business and self help gurus alike will more often or not espouse the importance of changing from within, before trying to change what's around you.  Think Gandhi when he said

"Be the change" 

The truth about making personal change (however big or small) is that it will be picked up on by others.  Whether or not people see the change for what it is, or understand what's behind it, or even accurately describe it, there is one guarantee ... others will change in response to our change.

As an example, if you and your spouse have a habit of bickering over small domestic chores not being done in equal measure (fair share etc), then over time this bickering becomes habit.  It then becomes an expectation and works like a 'script' with both actors routinely delivering their lines right on cue.

In return for the wife nagging at her spouse he learns to expect the nag and lives on constant alert ready to defend himself, or attack back at her.  She keeps looking for reasons to goad him, finds them, and so on!

So it goes on until one of them decides to break the circuit and stop!  Once one of us changes what WE DO, how WE react, ....guess what happens?  Suddenly our partner changes too!

Now we can't be sure in what way our partner will change.  We can't preempt that.  The change could be for the better as he starts to voluntarily be more responsible around the house and 'do stuff' unrequested or prompted.  This happens because a 'space' has been created.  A space in which the adult inside that spouse can surface free from nagging behaviours that keep them acting like a spoilt child or petulant teenager, by his wife's seen as 'motherly' behaviour.  (No man appreciates living with his mother in adult life)!

Alternatively the spouse's behaviour could deteriorate - becoming more lazy, asleep, apathetic etc relishing this new 'nag free zone' and taking it as his cue to be less responsible than before!  For some people there is escape in denial. 

So, as a result of our change we could either get a willing partner at home, or a partner who shows more of their true nature giving us further clarity about if this is a good relationship to remain in.

Even though it might mean we don't like the consequences, better to know now than in another 10 years time.  Let's be honest - for many of us a life spent being a perpetual nag isn't a lot of laughs for us either! Never mind the example we are setting for any children in the house.

I can't change my boss, my husband or anyone else, it has to be both of us trying:

To date, I haven't come across anyone yet who could 'make' me change unless I wanted to! I struggle to make myself change my ways, never mind someone else getting me to do it!

Nor have I found anyone who has successfully managed to 're-train' or change their husband or wife, sibling or friend.
 

Do we have the right to change others, or even to try?   Isn't it rather arrogant to assume we have the right to try to change another, or the superior insight in the first place to think we know what's in their best interest?  How would you feel if someone approached you with that attitude? I'd want to 'biff them'

How much responsibility do you want anyway?  It's a massive (and in my view undesirable) responsibility to take on 'the improvement' of someone else.

There is good reason behind why the emphasis in business life, and in self help books, is on the principle of  "SELF DEVELOPMENT and SELF IMPROVEMENT".  Again, if we are willing to be really honest, most of us struggle to fix 'ourselves' never mind others, no matter how tempting the challenge!

Should we,  can we 'change' the nature of our horse? 

Force: Can any of us really 'make' a horse do things they don't wish, or are unable to do, without applying force and threat? Force as a strategy, rarely works well long-term (at home, in work or with our horse).  It certainly won't achieve harmony and trust in our relationships where we need equality and love.  

Changing the Horse: I admit horses can be retrained - from the perspective of how they behave, how they move, their responsiveness to our requests.  We can achieve this at home - a good argument, or a few threats of divorce and often the misbehaving spouse manages to clean up their act, and tidy up after themselves, do their fair share around the house - for a short while at least!

Slowly however, at home,  true natures begin to re-appear as old habits return. Often we see the same with our horse.

I believe that when we force (think draw reins on horses or emotional blackmail with humans), all we do is re-connect with the survival instinct inside horse or human.  'Going for that quiet life' or the path of least resistance is NOT equality.  Nor is it about living and happiness, from a horse or a human. It is a coping strategy based on compliance (for the moment), and often it's short lived.

With force, let's be honest, we aren't connecting with the whole person/horse. How could we be? We aren't really even trying we're just focused on control and getting our own way! 

The right to change our horse:  Unravelling the true nature of the horse, answering WHO IS HE/SHE is something many of us don't discover or even try.  I only recently began to think of it after meeting with Margrit Coates last year.

It's not that we are one way with our horse, and another with our human relations.  I believe we go through life blinkered in both areas.  It is really hard to know WHO WE ARE, never mind figure out who someone else is.  Then try figuring out another species, if we even stop to consider that it is relevant?

We can pay lip service of course, but do we really know the people we live with? Do they really know us?  Typically we see what we want to see, what we are used to seeing, or what we believe we need to see to justify our own behaviour.

With our horses the simple truth is that we might be able to change or modify certain behaviours and movements, but we will never be able to change the basic nature of the horse, never stop them from being a flight animal.  Nor should we want to. 

Responsibility:  A lot of us feel angst under the weight of responsibility of looking after our horses - the worry, the decision making, and the living with the consequences of sometimes not getting it right and rebuking ourselves in the process (Read another of Issy's posts on her blog).

When we learn to get out of the horse's way, and set him/ her up for health and happiness, we learn the incredible self healing capability the horse has.  The horse has managed to survive for over 5 million years, very well so far.  Do they really need us, and all our so called 'help'?

When you consider that often it is our interference that inhibits the horse's health.  As a simple example, 'box rest' is the default solution for so many horse ailments.  Yet bed rest for us humans (even when we prolapse a back disc) is rarely in our best interest and we aren't designed to roam up to 20 kilometres a day!  Why would something that isn't good for us be good for a roaming half ton of animal?

Immobility, stiffness, depression, bed sores, etc are all side effects in us that become an additional problem to deal with.  We see the same pattern with our horses: stiffness, loss of appetite, colic, stress behaviours - all from box rest meant to cure!

I'm not advocating we abandon our responsibilities of due care towards our horses, far from it, I believe a horse is for life, like a husband, children or family dog. Yet applying 'human' sanctions on a horse, be that bed rest, lack of holidays or second rate food doesn't work well for us, so why do we think it will help our horses?

The problem with my horse is ME:

Whether we like it or not, realise it yet or not, believe it yet or not, it is at least possible that if we want something different from our horse, that change must start with us - as 50 % partners in the process!

How do you find a trainer/ guru/ mentor who can really help YOU to change, grow and become more of who you are?

....Keep looking!  Keep searching:

• Notice who suddenly appears in your periphery and wonder why?  
• Don't look for help from Horse trainers - think more broadly than that as most of those are operating from the dark ages.  
• Find people who inspire you (and not for their riding or medals), but for what they've coped well with in life.  
• Reflect, and think about what you do and why with your horse, and in other parts of your life.
• Notice how well you respond to change and be honest about what that feels like when its your initiation and not
• Bring together key people from different parts of your life (horsey or otherwise), let their observations by a route to self discovery
• Be honest!  With yourself about what's holding you back? What are you avoiding?  What do you fear?
• Listen to speakers and notice who you find yoyourself in agreement with (not always a good sign) and who 'rustles your feathers' making you feel uncomfortable (might be a good sign)!

There are plenty of life coaches, sports coaches out in the world, operating near you, contactable by phone, email, skype, seminars etc. Search you tube for popular videos that inspire and challenge you.

In a video by Ben Hart  he talks about how our beliefs about horses and their true nature (flight animals) impacts our ethics and morals and behaviour towards them.   He reminds us of the simplicity of the horse's nature.  I would advocate we will learn more about ourselves and our horses if we strip away the complexity of gadgets, human made conveniences and return to the basics of horse management.

Horses aren't killers (see earlier blog: confessions of a conscious coward) and they have survived for 5 million years without us. It's time to show them some respect and equality!

The Hallmark of An Action Plan

"Whatever is flexible and living will tend to grow; 

 

 whatever is rigid and blocked will wither and die."

-   Lao Tzu (ancient Chinese philosopher)

Essy's Medical update

"FLEXIBILITY is the name of the game" if we are to bend, not break, like Bamboo in the wind, and adjust to what life has waiting for us!

In business leadership the nimble skill of weathering a recession or expanding into new markets requires a level of improvisation and therefore flexibility.

Is instinct the same as improvisation?  Can one be born from the other?

Over the last 2 years, Ive resisted as long as I could any operation on Essy to further diagnose the source of his one nostril nose bleeds, led largely by my instinct in opposition with my vet.

The only operation (last summer) he has had so far, which did entail drilling a hole in between his eyes did not reach the source of the nose bleed.  Did not diagnose the problem.  It was of no help whatsoever.  The biopsy was inconclusive.  It cost money that the insurance company wouldn't cover as the nose bleeds were ongoing, but most importantly it put my boy through an inevitable massive headache, trauma to his head and face, four weeks of box rest and a bandage round his face with the risk of infection in mid August when we had the hottest weather for ages.  

I was not expecting them to drill that day.  They were supposed to be re-scoping and coming back to me (and my friend waiting anxiously in the vets office) to discuss what to do next.  You've never seen two more shocked humans than us two when we were invited back to see what they had found.  What we saw was their fingers inside Essy's head, together with a long tube and camera.  My friend left quickly out and I hung on in struggling to be brave for Essy. (Proof again, I am a coward)! 

Now, 6 months on, I made the decision to have a CT Scan to see if once and for all we could determine the nature of the problem.  To be truthful my biggest fear was that it wouldn't help much and in a way that fear has come true.

1. There is no tumour (good news)
2. There is however an Ethmoid Hematoma. 
3. Problem is it is in an 'unusual' location so surgery to remove it will be very 'challenging' said the RVC vet who specialises in this surgery and does it often.  At least two holes will need to be drilled into his head, one below his left eye, the other will be re-opened from last summer.
4. Normally there is another option for dealing with these EH's i.e. to drain them by scoping, and injecting into the EH Formalin, once every week over a period of weeks.
5. The problem is that the location of Essy' means this isn't an option for us.  The ET is touching against the cribriform plate which is against the brain.  Should Formalin enter the brain seizures or worse could result.

So Essy and I now have to live out the reality of needing to adjust and respond appropriately to each new day and changing situation, symptom or diagnosis.  Given that our situation is kind of new, (for us and the vets) it seems pointless looking for ‘tick-box’ solutions or trying to “do it by the book”.  I am not against vets or their advice.  I do not know better (far from it).   But nothing about my own life or that of my horses is 'text book material' so why would I expect any of our challenges to fall neatly into a "Manual of How To....?" Deep down I still believe Essy's nose bleeds has an emotional link.

Our ability to adapt and embrace flexibility is an important reason we have survived as human beings. Unfortunately, as people move into positions of authority and power, this natural capability often becomes compromised. It starts to atrophy, replaced by more rigid thinking, a reliance on systems, procedures and bureaucracies.  My challenge now is to be flexible in my thinking and stay nimble and able to adapt.

 

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives,

 nor the most intelligent,

 it is the one that is most adaptable to change.”

- Charles Darwin (Naturalist)

My plan of action has three parts:

1. - Have an overall plan
2. - Remain "present", day by day
3. - Be ready to change the plan!

My own stress level management programme is always facilitated if I have a plan and can start to action it.   However, the need for loving Essy each day with all my heart means I have to stay present, more than ever before.  Without an "in the moment" mindset we can't fight this things with love, healing, joy and the shear will to live.  In stead I think we are left fighting from fear, dread and pain.

The Hallmarks (defined as 'distinguishing characters and features') of my Plan so far are:-

Step 1: The power of now! A renewed focus on being present, in the moment

Step 2: Distant Healing from a dear friend who has offered her love and help

Step 3: Reiki as often as we can ideally weekly as a minimum

Step 4: Self Selection of Herbs and Oils to support him - with the help of Naturally Animals and iridologist Catherine Edwards

Step 5: James Hart tonics  - to be explored which could help, if any

Step 6: Red light therapy - although I'm not sure where to put it as the EH is deep in his head.  What is clear is that the location where the vets thought it was (below his eye) is NOT the right place.  Funny thing is that every time I've put the light there, believing it might be doing some good, Essy has uncharacteristically, not stood still, not been happy.  My god did he know all along it was the wrong spot?

Step 7: A three way talk with Margrit (in the diary) to check on headaches, discomfort and to openly talk about giving me signs that things aren't good.  Fear of not having an open line of communication will be the only thing that gets me through that conversation and the floods of tears that are sure to rain down on us.
 
Step 8: Reflection; daily! I will need more than ever to develop reflection.  To learn to reflect more on what is happening in the moment.... As reflection does not come naturally to me, again I revert to a plan of 'how I will do that'.

So far, it looks like consciously thinking about, sensing, and tuning into ....

• What is happening right now?
• How am I/ is Essy feeling in this moment and why?
• What is not being said?
• What is his body language telling me?
• What I am feeling inside my body?
• What ideas, thoughts or feelings or images are coming to mind at the moment?
• What are others sensing, picking up on right now?
• How are my other horses behaving towards Essy?
• What is the state of his general health, coat condition, skin, hair, muscle tone, curiosity levels, appetite, and activity levels telling me?
• What do I, and what does he, want to create - right now?

Step 9: Living Positively:  I want to build into my plan, trips out.  In hand as I retired him on February 10th 2013 at his request.  Can we go to the New Forest again?  The beach?  A forge?  What great trips out can we plan at home or away?  I already know we'll picnic in the field as we did last summer after his head drilling escapade.  My wonderful music teacher is coming to visit the horses in the field and play her Alpine Horn, I may do a little trilling on the flute! Its about looking for the light in each day, following the fun, lingering in laughter, and keeping our minds stimulated with the new.


Beyond that, the plan hasn't yet developed, but then I haven't gone around that next corner yet, to see what's ahead.  Any offers of advise or guidance will be greatly received before I drive accidentally off the skid pan and into obscurity!

Experts On; Experts Off?

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” 

 

Its madness to think we have all the answers we need when looking after our horses and dealing with the challenges that will get thrown at us.  It's crazy to think we even know what were doing with our own lives half the time!  I know I dont!

I was thinking about how this time last year I was learning about "wax on and wax off" from the very talented and humble cowboy; Mark Rashid.  I was attending a riders introductory course to Aikido combining the principles of softness, self defence, and how it could apply to our work with horses.

At the end of day 3, I returned home excited to put some of what I had learnt into practise. I took Grace out and lunged her in the damp, dark December evening.  It was without question the best lunge work we have every accomplished; magical.

It was as if we were connected by telepathic thought.  By simply concentrating on my energy and sending it out in spiral waves from my core out towards her she responded.  I hardly spoke.  No sounds, clicks, Bruuuups, or whip flicks.  

...The best lunging and 'being in my body' experience ever! 

Why was I drawn to this course?  Why do certain people seem to come into our lives just when we need them?

In 2012,  I had invested time, money and a lot of time and patience discovering the power and value of working with Essential oils and dried herbs to improve my horses health.  For good reason! Over a  5 day period Essy's body went from having a few small harmless looking lumps dotted about his body...

...to a few more slightly larger looking lumps...

...to full blown hives head to hock!

He remained like this for almost 2.5 months before Dandelion Root and a liver tonic fixed him after a visit from Naturally Animals. Up to this point I had spent a fortune with tradtiional medicine and veterinary advise to find a cause and/or cure.  Nothing made any difference.  Then 4 days into the Liver Tonic from James Hart and the Dandelion Root from Naturally Animals, the hives had gone!  Completely!   They haven't returned.

Needless to say the help I received from Animal Health Practitioners - Catherine Edwards was priceless!  Essy LOVED her visits (seen below)...

The best medical help for my horses I have ever experienced with only health benefits and no side effects!

Keen to learn more about what other resources are around to help us manage our horses health (without resorting to vet prescribed drugs) I came across Red Light Therapy.  The only cure found to date in the USA for the West Nile virus.  Impressive!   Just go to the Success page on the website to read some of the incredible stories of healing and pain relief.  My light goes on any injury, swelling or sore area.

I promise you that reading about this product will convince you of the need to find out more!   I've even got a torch at home too and grab it any time I have an ache or pain.  Apparently it works like a facial and even plastic surgery - we'll see!

To see how quickly a horses body responds and self heals if given a gentle nudge
 in the right direction by a wave generating light is "Gob smacking" each time I observe it.

Without doubt the last two years has been peppered with 'equine experts'.  As I reflect on who Ive met and what I've learnt from them, I have to include another "biggie" from 2012.

Wonder woman Kat Jay Equine Podiatrist trained in KC La Pierre's teaching joined the team in April 2012.  I can't remember life without her! She has kept me strong, on track and to plan.  I found her having stumbled across the amazing and compelling work of K C La Pierre in the USA - what he doesn't know about the horses' hoof isn't worth knowing!

Kat opened up another world of knowledge to me as we watched with amazement the miracle of Grace's feet transforming.  This was followed by the phenomenal results of Essy and Solar going barefoot after 20 years of being shod.  Risky for so many reasons, but has passed without incident.   

I have felt embarrassed and down right ashamed of how little I knew about equine hooves before embarking on this journey of knowledge. We know so little about how to care for our horses's feet or the choices we have as responsible owners. My advice please don't mistake the barefoot brigade for "a bunch of out with the fairy hippies".  The science and knowledge is robust, if only the farrier community embraced it more and offered shoeing and podiatry in their tool kit.  Maybe one day...

A tiny fragment of the physical foot transformation of Grace is captured below.

1. Grace aged 6 - Right Fore April 15th 2012 when her front shoes fell off and I saw what was beneath!

2. Grace aged 6 Left Hind in the hands of a farrier with toe chopped off!  


Kat nick named this hoof "Club Foot"- you can see why as she has no toe - this is neither normal or healthy for a horse but sadly I see it on horses around me a lot!  Normal doesn't mean it is right!













Both Feet today.... 

The saying is... "No Foot; No Horse"...

 NEVER has this been demonstrated better than with my horses.  

 An inspiring experience to witness.

Not much need be said about Margrit's life changing visit to Essy earlier this year.  It resulted in the conception of this blog! Since, Essy is a different horse and his video of that meeting can be found on youtube.

Our relationship is complete.  My old mum is now a blood brother to him and I consult with him on everything knowing that he actually does understand.

He is a life treasure!

 

It is often said that one road swiftly leads to another... 

After Margrit's visit and with her help, I met Sue Devereux  - a vet who uses acupuncture and is a chiropractor.  For over 2 hours she worked with each of my horses and put to shame what I have seen others, with similar job titles do.  No bone was left un-touched, re-mobilised and examined.  Each horse responded differently, each swiftly and honestly.  

Noticing physical changes, muscle re-balancing and behavioural change in front of your eyes is something I highly recommend!

I am sure that if you are reading this blog youll think I am either "made of money" or have "more money than sense".  Neither are true (I hope)!  I think the last 24 months has been a life works in the making.  Every penny spent has been worth it.  It's in part been a by product of my horses reaching their twenties.  It's also been a personal journey for me in terms of really testing what is important to me for my horses and why they are in my life.  It's not all about riding them - that's for sure as I've consciously sacrificed that to give them healthy feet and to respect the messages they shared via Margrit.

I am now a self confessed disciple of barefoot and herbs and oils and the red light therapy.  However, I DON'T believe they are the only solution to a situation or a panacea for all ills.  If shoeing my horses was the only way to relieve pain; I'd re-shoe again.  If the difference between life or death required a man made drug versus a herb I'd say yes to the drugs.  However, until either of those two circumstances happen (hopefully they never will) I wont shoe or administer man made drugs. 

Some might say that ....

"to let yourself be guided by experts is always a recipe for disaster" 

I would agree - if you are letting experts make your decisions and bully you about!  But,... If you maintain responsibility and stay awake and alert to evaluate your options, the logic and the proof behind what experts tell you, you'll do alright and their help will be invaluable.

I am eternally grateful to my extended equine support team for helping Essy with his Uciteria, Solar with her fibrotic myopathy and Grace and I with our ridden work.  We wouldn't be where we are today - happy and healthy, without them.  This Blog wouldn't exist either.

Most of us at some point in caring for our horses will need the support of others. My advice for choosing experts is this:-

• They must want to understand YOUR aspirations for you and your horse 
• Ask you LOTS of questions
• They should know your values i.e. what's most important to you about having horses in your life 
• Find out what you want for your horse; long life, comfort, safety, ...what?
• Have a sense of humour and not take themselves too seriously!
• Be considered rather than obstinate in their views 
• Be able to explain their subject in depth with up to date research and back up
• Be passionate about their knowledge and techniques but not religious about thrusting it down your throat!
• NEVER make you feel judged, small, stupid or inadequate in your care for your horse
• WANT to help YOU; want to WORK with you
• You should look forward to seeing them / speaking with them
• You should never feel the desire to 'count up' how much money you've spent with them and question their value for money!

After this everything else should just fall into place! Ta da!