I imagine being a horse in domesticity is a kin to wearing tights 24 hours a day. I am claustrophobic in tights, my toes can't breathe! Its a life of socks for me!
Today feels especially claustrophobic with every breath. I'm wearing my socks but its my life not my toes that feels trapped. I have much to be grateful for and appreciate. I am better off in so many ways than so many people. Yet, I seem to attract into my life people who have more, and typically more of the things that I want and cherish; land at home, freedom from working in a job that holds no value, a life that is reflective of them today, not them yesterday or someone else now!
Of course the grass is always greener on the other side. I get that, really. Yet the weight of claustrophobia is hard to escape even with perspective.
Living a life of compromise, or a 'life half-lived' is not good for the soul or heart. Its an endless sinking feeling into a well of darkness. Its constricting, narrowing, dimming and pervasive.
I wonder if life is sometimes like this for our horses. Confined; living their life the way we want them to. Limited in their freedom, ability to self express and be understood. If we stop and look closely we can witness the signs every day in how horses subtly live on the edge of 'asking permission' and 'trying to be themselves'. How many of us do the same?
Horse and humans are alike in so many ways. We all want to belong, to fit in and be accepted. Horses are animals that are confrontation averse - that is how they survive in the herd. They select the herd leader based on his confidence, consistency and conflict aversion. He is valued as the leader because his overall motivation is 'keep things safe, calm, reliable' - we might recognise it as 'anything for a quiet life'.
But should we settle for that? Why should a quiet life be valued? Many great leaders, empaths, inventors and heroes have been mavericks, rebels, people who have not fitted in. They have suffered defeat, humiliation, imprisonment or mockery, but carried on.
Fear for many of us holds us back from finding and being ourselves. Fear that we will be lonely, no longer fitting in with friends and family. Fear that loved ones will reject or abandon us for daring to be true to our selfish goals. Yet isn't it selfish to remain quiet about unrealised dreams later resenting or blaming those you love for somehow holding you back? Isn't it selfish of others to live their life knowing you are not living yours as a direct consequence?
It's hard to see loved ones in this light because of course that isn't their intention.
We don't intend to limit our horses ability to be themselves but we do. We put them in square, tiny paddocks, tress less, bush less, hedge less. We strip out naturally growing herbs and weeds. We remove twigs and bark. We pull out stones. We turn them out alone. We level the land. It's a barren, boring, bleak landscape - a green cage that limits movement and freedom to exercise, explore and develop self confidence.
I've had a good lesson today in how unhelpful it is to have people deal out a dose of righteousness which they think will help, when what you really need is for someone to put their arms around you and say 'your'e right to be upset'. This too, is where we seem to go wrong with our horses, we really do seem to think we know best, what's best for them. I wonder if we really do? I want to believe so but surely until we get it right more often in our human to human relations we can't really believe we excel at getting it right with another species can we?
Until we reach that point, it might be time to join me and have an 'undies' clear out day; take out your tights, rip them up, cut them into small pieces or burn them. Then go to your yard or field and give your horse permission to do the same, metaphorically speaking!
Today feels especially claustrophobic with every breath. I'm wearing my socks but its my life not my toes that feels trapped. I have much to be grateful for and appreciate. I am better off in so many ways than so many people. Yet, I seem to attract into my life people who have more, and typically more of the things that I want and cherish; land at home, freedom from working in a job that holds no value, a life that is reflective of them today, not them yesterday or someone else now!
Of course the grass is always greener on the other side. I get that, really. Yet the weight of claustrophobia is hard to escape even with perspective.
Living a life of compromise, or a 'life half-lived' is not good for the soul or heart. Its an endless sinking feeling into a well of darkness. Its constricting, narrowing, dimming and pervasive.
I wonder if life is sometimes like this for our horses. Confined; living their life the way we want them to. Limited in their freedom, ability to self express and be understood. If we stop and look closely we can witness the signs every day in how horses subtly live on the edge of 'asking permission' and 'trying to be themselves'. How many of us do the same?
Horse and humans are alike in so many ways. We all want to belong, to fit in and be accepted. Horses are animals that are confrontation averse - that is how they survive in the herd. They select the herd leader based on his confidence, consistency and conflict aversion. He is valued as the leader because his overall motivation is 'keep things safe, calm, reliable' - we might recognise it as 'anything for a quiet life'.
But should we settle for that? Why should a quiet life be valued? Many great leaders, empaths, inventors and heroes have been mavericks, rebels, people who have not fitted in. They have suffered defeat, humiliation, imprisonment or mockery, but carried on.
Fear for many of us holds us back from finding and being ourselves. Fear that we will be lonely, no longer fitting in with friends and family. Fear that loved ones will reject or abandon us for daring to be true to our selfish goals. Yet isn't it selfish to remain quiet about unrealised dreams later resenting or blaming those you love for somehow holding you back? Isn't it selfish of others to live their life knowing you are not living yours as a direct consequence?
It's hard to see loved ones in this light because of course that isn't their intention.
We don't intend to limit our horses ability to be themselves but we do. We put them in square, tiny paddocks, tress less, bush less, hedge less. We strip out naturally growing herbs and weeds. We remove twigs and bark. We pull out stones. We turn them out alone. We level the land. It's a barren, boring, bleak landscape - a green cage that limits movement and freedom to exercise, explore and develop self confidence.
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| Essy and Solar Sue August 2010 |
I've had a good lesson today in how unhelpful it is to have people deal out a dose of righteousness which they think will help, when what you really need is for someone to put their arms around you and say 'your'e right to be upset'. This too, is where we seem to go wrong with our horses, we really do seem to think we know best, what's best for them. I wonder if we really do? I want to believe so but surely until we get it right more often in our human to human relations we can't really believe we excel at getting it right with another species can we?
Until we reach that point, it might be time to join me and have an 'undies' clear out day; take out your tights, rip them up, cut them into small pieces or burn them. Then go to your yard or field and give your horse permission to do the same, metaphorically speaking!
Humility Humility Humility!
Ego be gone!
Mind be still.
Heart be full.
Excellent post, Deb. Touches me deeply... Thank you.
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