Those who don't know - often do!

When someone who thinks they have very 'little horse knowledge' or so called 'credibility' approaches your horse and says "sorry, I don't have anything for you" (suggesting she thought your horse expected a carrot or treat), and then says "except love" - you know you've just found someone who knows exactly what a horse needs!

It's good to spend time with your horse looking after their physical needs, bruises, bashes, and cuts.  It's good to nurse them back to health, feed them a natural, chemical free diet, and help them stay healthy.  It's good to exercise together, explore new places and stimulate their mind.

But...

At the end of the day there has to be time spent enjoying the feeling of LOVE together.  There has to be time to bask in and send loving intention to your horse.

Consciously balance the joy of simply 'being in love' with your horse to enrich their emotional needs as with being in charge of their physical needs, and you'll both reap the benefit in heaps!

Sometimes it is better not to know too much and to focus on what's important; LOVE x

Thank you Lisa!

Strange Affairs of the Heart

Is it synchronicity or just a lucky coincidence when you find out one morning that one of your beloved horses has a heart issue, then later that day, you randomly grab a book to read on route to the train station, to find it's all about the heart, energy, chi, love and awareness?

The "untethered soul" appeared today just when I needed it.  It helped me shift from devastated and fearful to hopeful and strangely calm.

I have decided that Solar Sue's heart condition will be treated with healing, love, and visualisations to help her release whatever it is that needs to be cleared.   I must be honest, I don't yet know what is her 'condition'.  All I know is that on Monday when I booked my vet to take her bloods (to find out if there was some underlying cause of her weight loss) he found an abnormality in her heart beat.  I listened too, and it scared me to death!

Between Solar Sue and Essy I am finally coming to a conclusion that their 'illnesses' which seem always to break the norms according to the vets, is a message for me!  I seem to be on a journey with them to either learn a lot about non-veterinary methods, or learn the wonder of miracles and a horses ability to nudge back towards health.  The concept of 'less is more' is at the forefront of my mind and could be applied to many aspects of my life not just my horses health.

At the heart of this new sense of  'direction', captured I hope through Essy's Blog, is a foundation stone of self-healing, trust, waking up, peacefulness, acceptance and gratitude. I don't have a handy label for all that but maybe in time one will come (if needed).

Here's what I was reminded of as I read two chapters of the Untethered Soul on the train on Monday:

We live with a certain amount of fear - that's normal.  Fear generated from our thoughts and feelings.

We know that when certain things happen our fears can be triggered and flare up.

We get  totally absorbed in our inner world of thoughts and feelings that we end up living life on 'auto-pilot' ( a subject of previous posts on this blog).

Our thoughts, beliefs, memories - all require energy,  to create them, store them, re-live and re-play them.

This inner energy doesn't come from food, diet, or sleep - it comes from being in love, being afraid as examples. 

It is internal within us, which means it is available to us anytime, anyplace.

So far so good, but what does all this mean?  Why did this calm me down about Solars heart?

What if we all have the ability to open or block access to this inner source of energy?  What if, we block it every time we close our heart or our mind?  What if every time we deny our instincts, our passions, our desires, we are shutting up shop, so to speak?  Over time would you expect your heart to be strong, youthful, healthy?

When Margrit visited Essy on March 1st  this year, (one year after they first met) one of the first things he told her was 'how Solar's energy had returned'.  What if most of last year when Solar had not been fully herself - her heart was closed, hence her energy down?  

How would I have recognised the symptoms?  How would I have known this was going on inside her? What could I have done?

I think that until we are ready to face the answers to these questions, the only answer available to us is ... "we can't"... not yet!

For example, as a comparison with last year - I only recently (2 weeks ago) purchased  The Untethered Soul.  Last year my blog was not where it is today in terms of its messages of awakening.  Last year I didn't have the results for Essy's nose bleeds and didn't know that we would be heading into a land where the vets can't actually treat his hematoma,  leaving me with no choice (other than doing nothing), than to pursue non veterinary prescribed routes.

None of this was in my reality.  I couldn't have answered any 'what if' questions at that stage.

To return to Solar Sue and her heart.  Last summer I was worried about Solar - her weight fell off, she stopped eating hay, she was quiet and stood by the gate during the day.  She would nicker deeply into my stomach when I walked at her side - like a protective brood mare to her foal, which made no sense to me at all.

Then when we moved yards in October 2013, she seemed to bounce back to life.  She has been perky, active, full of life and her coat has gleamed all winter.  Her eye is sparkly and only her weight loss has been a worry.   I hope I can be forgiven for thinking we were 'getting back on track'.

So, to return to the thoughts that spoke to me from the book I grabbed, I began to question what is the link between our minds, our hearts and this inner energy source?  I'll try to explain...

We are blocked when we are depressed.

We are open when we are happy.

We are blocked when we are afraid.

We are open when we are in love.

When happy or in love we tend to feel in a good mood, almost constantly!  We are trusting towards others, we even reveal our vulnerabilities to them. However, as soon as the romance or happy glow wares off because something bad happens, or our lover says something unkind, we begin to be on guard.  We begin to withdraw or hold back.  We wait.  We self protect.  This feeling and our subsequent behaviours can deepen rapidly as we begin to notice other things that upset us, hurt us or sadden us.  Suddenly all we notice is the rubbish stuff in life, all around us, wherever we look, and we feel fed up, tired, disengaged and demotivated. Now, even getting out of bed can feel like an effort, 'why bother', we ask ourselves?

This is what can happen when we close our mind to a person, object, situation, place or possibility, and our heart and energy follow accordingly.   For some, it could become an easy comfortable and familiar place to rest a while! Perhaps Solar found herself in such a place last year, for whatever reason.

Equally, one great hack on our horse, one smile from a handsome stranger, one piece of unexpected good news and we begin to feel ourselves bounce back!  We get a smile back on our face, we expect a car parking space to open up for us and it does, and life is good again!

No magic pills, diet or vaccination - mind, heart and energy all begin to open back up or close down, based on our thoughts and feelings.

From Yoga we know that the heart is an energy centre or chakra. Who is to say that our horses don't experience a similar cycle of thoughts, feelings, and energy surge or slip?  A closed heart and low energy could easily result from depression, anxiety, physical pain, abuse, containment, loneliness, overwork,  etc. 

Is that possible in a horse? I believe so.  

Is it probable?  Why ever not? 

After all aren't horses supposed to be even more sensitive that us humans?

They are more finely tuned to nature, their five senses are more powerful, they have a physicality that is tuned into every aspect of nature not just what they can see or hear or smell or touch?  They sense our moods, our thoughts, our fears.  They pick up on our heart beat, any source of disease and emotional upset.  Hardly the characteristics of hardened beast of burden and nothing more!

From Solar's visit with Margrit 12 months ago, there were things that suggested she felt a sense of loss for horse friends she is no longer in touch with.  A sense of dependence upon others in her life to stay in her life.  In my words ' a sensitive soul living for love'.

As I reflect on the last 12 months, she has had the least of my time, energy and attention.  Both Essy and Grace had health issues last year from May onwards.

Now, it is her time and she has waited long enough.

I do believe that 'you have to be the change you want to see' and the Untethered Soul has helped encourage me to question where I might need to focus my attention, thoughts, feelings and energy in order to help Solar.  Specifically I wondered: 

'how much love do I want Solar to feel from me?' 

 Answer: Masses!  All the love I can muster, so I must be conscious of that.

'how much am I giving off an energy that says to her, I am enjoying life, you can too?' 

Answer:  I have good days and bad days - so I need to be aware of which it is when around her!

'how much JOY do I show her I am feeling when I'm in her company?'

Answer: I've not actually thought about it like that, till now!

Bottom line  is that to feel love, enthusiasm, joy etc. or not, is a choice we all have. We can decide to be open or elect to be closed.  We just don't know we have this choice or that it is so simple!  We aren't taught it.  We don't stop to think about it and when we do it's either too simplistic to be credible or too deep to fathom! 

For Solar Sue, while I wait for veterinary input into a possible diagnosis, prognosis etc of her heart problem, I have decided to CHOOSE to be OPEN.  I have begun to offer her Bergamot and Rose Otto essential oils, I have sat quietly in a meditative pose in her stable to visualise her heart and energy opening, and clearing.  I have worked with the red light on her heart meridian and ordered specific herbs for her heart - arriving on Monday.

... (I had to do something)!

As I've assembled my oils, light and myself for an evening 'healing' session with her (that's my term for it) she has stood at liberty, breathing deeply, eyes closing.  Two nights ago she kept turning her head into my tummy and doing her soft, deep nicker from last year, that I still don't understand but which moved me to tears.  

The bond of love a human can feel towards a horse is utterly without word or expression, but somehow tears seem to capture it well.

I do believe that together she and I are doing some good for her future and beginning to heal whatever needs to be healed and clear whatever needs to be cleared. I have a feeling I have more to learn and my horses will be showing me the way. As we take that road to 'I don't know where' I want to give Solar new positive impressions for her heart to balance against any stored up old indentations that she may be holding onto.

Please wish us luck on the way!

A quote from The Untethered Soul:

"Unending inspiration, unending love, and unending openness. 

That is the natural state of a healthy heart"  

 

"Love is..."

 

"Sharing your dinner remains with a new pal and, 

maybe hoping for a little 'lovin' in return!"

          

It's funny, how after decades of dreaming of having my own fab dressage horse and becoming a dressage diva, it's actually these simple moments of horses interacting with each other that bring me the most joy and pleasure!

Super Nanny To The Rescue...

Does Killing with Kindness work?

My recent homework was to watch more TV- specifically Super Nanny!

I'm beginning to see why... we can learn important lessons from her; the "master" of setting boundaries, keeping a check on 'love',  and reading the energy levels of others! She also knows the value of having a plan B!  Super Nanny is always the leader!

Translating super nanny techniques to our horses can work in many different settings.

One of my first 'nanny moments' with Grace was shortly after we began to learn Parelli.  In the stable with her, it took over 35 requests in the same session, of me asking her to stay behind me in the box, and not keep running forwards over me - before she said 'oh ok'!

If ever a horse has taught me to 'mean what I say and say what I mean' its Grace!

A big moving, forward thinking yet introverted horse like Grace often finds it hard to knuckle down to work for example on the lunge, preferring to do several high speed rounds of handstands and cartwheels first -  all of her own making!  A master of distraction!

In Super Nanny when the kids are "hyper" like Grace, super nanny recognises that and changes her plan accordingly.  So, if homework has to be done she'll take them to the park to have a blow off first, before sitting them down for studies. With our horses we have to decide if its best to let them do their antics for a few minutes to burn off energy or not.  I must decide if asking any of my horses to lunge in trot but quietly today is in step with what is the right thing for them given their mood and their energy level.

When mounted, on a lunge, or long line our horses should be willing and able to stay on their circle or line, take responsibility for their feet (and where they place them) and maintain the gait we request until asked to change it.  I love this principle as it helps remind me of our respective responsibilities!

I like the partnering element that underpins the principle: that we the rider/trainer can't do everything and be responsible for everything - let's face it, it's challenging enough some days such as at competitions, just remembering our test and getting past the flowers, flags and judges box!

Here are my top 5 'take aways' from translating Super Nanny skills to horsemanship!

1. Make it easy for your horse to do the right thing!

2. Be clear in your communication  ALWAYS not just some of the time!
3. Establish boundaries (and keep to them)!
4. Praise the result you want (when offered or achieved)
5. Realise quickly that every interaction is a training and learning moment for our horse 
(whether we intend it to be so or not)!

Is it bad to love a horse too much...?

... only if it creates a monster child in the process! There's nothing more heart warming than seeing a strong human - horse bond, where the human loves their horse to 'beyond and back'.  Sadly too often these can be the same relationships that lack mutual respect, honesty and true partnering. 

I've seen more owners get pushed about and walked all over (literally) by 'over loved' horses because there have been no boundaries set and maintained.  Horses are larger and heavier than us!  They understand space and body language - it's their native tongue!  Therefore it isn't unreasonable to expect them to respect our space and NOT RUN US OVER if we establish our space in the first place.  It works a little bit like the 'naughty step' in Super Nanny!

Where most parents seem to go wrong on Super Nanny is that they DON'T stick to the rules and regime she teaches them.  As soon as they waiver the child's bad behaviour returns.  I know from experience that with horses if we show them (or allow the creation of) a gap - they'll dart through it.  Our job as owner, rider, trainer is to pre-empt actual or metaphorical gaps and close them before the horse catches sight!

Besides a lack of boundary management, loving owners can fall short of doing the right thing for their loved one by getting emotionally caught up in the 'cuteness' of their horse - as it thrashes it's front leg in the air waving it about for attention, or the nearest unsuspecting knee cap!

If a horse can't be left alone for 2 minutes without causing a disturbance surely we should be concerned and want to get to the root cause, for the horse's mental well being.  Instead,  many laugh off these 'temper tantrums' as "cheeky" or "naughty wanting mummies attention" yet doing nothing to re-direct the horses' energy.  In fact in the process of loud exclamations of "being spoilt" the owner/rider draws everyone else's attention to how 'needy' their horse is in the process, seemingly with pride and glee!  In some cases these undesirable behaviours actually serve to help their owner feel more loved and needed!

Every interaction with our horse is a training lesson whether or not we planned it that way.  What sort of a role model have you been today with your horse?  What messages have you been putting out there - deliberately or accidentally?  Do you need to undo tomorrow what you did today or is it too late and now your only help is Super Nanny for Steeds?!

Do Horses LOVE?

The Persian Poet Rumi said: 

 

"By God, when you see your beauty, you'll be the idol of yourself"

I believe horses do LOVE.

I believe they simplify 'how to' love for us to understand it better.

I believe they can teach us a lot about the true nature of love. 
I believe it would be impossible for them NOT to experience love.

There are different types of love - the love you have for your spouse, your parents, siblings and children, which can feel very different in its form and depth.  Then there is the love you have for a specific football team, country or place, religion or faith. We can love things that are bad for us or pursue passions with love that benefit us.  Somewhere in the mix is the love we have for our horse.

The question in my mind, is do they feel love, and if they do, what can they teach us about the nature of love?

To get my head around the concept it needs to make sense in my own mind as it relates to how we experience love first.

How much love do we feel towards ourselves and others?  Is it one emotion or many mixed up?   Where does it come from?  Is it self fulfilling? Can you track it and nurture it's development like mastering a new skill?  When I feel love does it feel the same as when you experience love, just as when we both look at grass do we see the same green? 

Let's step back. When we are born we are emotionally healthy and in tact. We love and accept ourselves and those around us.  We are free of expectation and judgement. We have no concept of if we are cute enough, the right weight or showing normal baby skills of alertness. We are at our closest to living as a horse lives i.e. we are present, living in the moment, for the moment, and without much conscious thought about the next moment, dependant on others for our mutual survival. We know and experience love (without any label).  Love is all around us.

As we grow and develop, things begin to change: we are taught right from wrong and so the process of judgement and comparison begins. Life takes on a routine of being told when and what to eat, when and when to sleep, and what to do.  We learn how to seek attention, who provides us with comfort, and who fills us with fear.  We learn what behaviours beget which results and with what consequences.  All of this sounds like normal healthy stuff, but over time it replaces our ability to remain present.  We become full of thoughts, perceptions and expectations; the stuff of busy minds.  Soon we have an image of how we should be and we reject those parts of us that get in the way of that ideal. In so doing we banish to some forgotten land vital parts of who we really are - fully!

Carl Jung once said "I'd rather be whole than good". In contrast most of us experience the opposite - and deny parts of ourselves in order to be accepted, popular, or fit in as 'good boys and girls'.

In Neale Donald Walsch's book Conversations with God, God says:

"perfect love is to feeling what perfect white is to colour. Many think that white is an absence of colour.  It is not. It is the inclusion of all colour.  White is every other colour that exists combined.  So, too, is love not the absence of emotion (hatred, anger, lust, jealousy, covertness), but the summation of all feeling?  It is the sum total."

The idea of love being a mix of emotions and feelings seems to make more sense than it being borne of only one specific emotion or feeling,  maybe that's why it is hard to describe.

So, do horses love?

Essy September 2013

I can vouch for how much love in me Essy brings out of me, and how much depth of love I feel for him when I'm around him, particularly when I look into his eyes.  It is at such moments that I well up with tears; tears of pure, deep love.  I am moved uncontrollably, unconsciously and spontaneously, just as love should be - without a need for rational explanation or analysis.  It is not a programmed activity produced on cue.

In my own experience horses help us to feel deep love without analysis, justification or explanation. Whether we love a big shire horse, a young untrained horse, one that is old and frail, statuesque or small, horses allow us to feel love deeply!

Horses are expert teachers at showing us how to spend each day being with ourselves, in acceptance; warts and all! You don't see a horse trying to change himself!  There is no obvious sign that they compare themselves with other horses (unless needing acceptance from the herd). They don't try to comply with some "Breed ideal"or standard.  Horses live being true to themselves, embracing all parts of who they are (ideal or otherwise)!  They know how to 'self love' whereas most of us would struggle to look at ourselves in a mirror and say "I love you" never mind accept what we see and live with it happily.

I'm always inspired by how horses don't appear to spend mental energy berating themselves, criticising their lack of impulsion, or flexion or double fault jumping round. They remember good and bad experiences of course; they are prey animals, learning all the time through experiences.  Yet their ability to accept the now, give things another go, and try, is without limit.  Where does that ability to bounce back or keep going come from?

Some will suggest it comes from their forgiving nature.  I think it comes from being vulnerable.  From being a prey animal.  It plays out like this: when we feel love (us humans) it is best expressed as intimacy, physical, spiritual, mental. Yet before we can be intimate we have to be vulnerable i.e. put our trust in another not to betray us in our vulnerable state of love. That is one of the ultimate expressions of love.  It also provides us with the feedback that we feel enough love in the first place to open up our vulnerable side to others.  In return we get the feedback that we are loved back when our vulnerability is respected not betrayed.

Our horses show the same trust and vulnerability daily: as we catch them, tie them up, ride them, stable them, sell them on to someone else.  They trust us not to abuse that trust; not to violate their vulnerability or exploit it. Trust between humans is brittle, it breaks easily.  I believe it is the same for us with our horses.  The difference is they appear to be resilient.  Perhaps that resilience comes from an acceptance of imperfection. From an understanding that feelings of betrayal will happen and is just one available emotion to experience amongst the full colour palette of love as suggested by Walsch.  Love comes, betrayal comes.  Both must exist. 

Love includes all emotions says Walsch so to experience love we should accept the full range of feelings that contribute to love, and realise that in our longing for Nirvana, a Sole Mate or the perfect horse - we already have them right in front of us, if only we could see and feel them!

Albert Einstein said "nature shows us only the tail of the lion. But I do not doubt that the lion belongs to it even though he cannot at once reveal himself..."

Peter Freund, a professor of theoretical physics at the University of Chicago, emphasises that there is one fundamental theme running through the past ten years of physics. That theme is that the laws of nature become simple and elegant when expressed in higher dimensions.  Meaning if we got out of the cave where our nose is flush with the side of the lion, and stood on a hilltop we could see the entire lion!

What is directly in front of us is often most hidden from our view.  Our eyes deceive us.  We place too much importance on what we see or think, over what we feel, sense or hear.  Love is all around us, it is behind everything.  How could horses NOT experience love?  Be it in their love of sunshine on their backs, the massaging effect of rolling in dirt, the gentle nuzzling of a friend, or the security of a herd?  Love doesn't have to be complex, its wrapped up in simple moments of self expression and depth of emotion as you stand on a hill side and burst into tears at the beauty of what you see.

Horses teach us every day, to step back - to find that hilltop so that we can see what is right under our nose! Horses epitomise love in their being and in their heritage as a prey animal.

They are wonderful teachers of the feeling and depth of love if we look into their eyes and allow what radiates from them to reach our hearts and in turn radiate back out.

Yes, Horses Do Love!