Messing with my mind!

Followers of the "law of attraction" will already know that we 'get back what we put out there'! Meaning... our thoughts attract more of what we are thinking about.  This means if you think you never have enough money in the bank, all you will notice is more bills arriving on the door mat, and never enough money in your account!

The wonderful reality being that the reverse is also true!  The good stuff you focus on also increases the more you focus on and believe in it.

If ever I needed a reminder of this vital lesson was last week.

I was due to be in Brussels for a few days, and a couple of days before leaving, had found myself thinking and then...saying out loud that Grace must be getting bored just being ridden in the menage.  She lives out 24 x 7 with her two field buddies in a big 5 acre paddock.  She is ridden 3 - 4 times a week, interspersed with lunging for exercise and Parelli for brain stimulus.  It is a life free from pressure, sweat and complication.  The problem is it's a life free from pressure, sweat and complication!  There in lies the rub!

So back to my trip to Belgium...

Having been away for just one night I woke up to the dreaded 'missed call' alert on my phone from the yard manager.

Grace had jumped out of her field over night.  She had cleared a 7 foot wide gorse hedge with wire fence running over the top and a ditch inside.  By some miracle she appeared uninjured and unscathed.  A few days later, once home I found she was lame and after a few days had it diagnosed as a shoulder muscle pull.  (One massage later and 2 weeks of box rest and she recovered just fine).

My horror, absence and geographical distance meant I could do nothing except worry for several hours until I could regain some control of my thoughts at all the 'what could have happened' scenarios.  Given that the hedge also travels the length of a busy road, I had to be very grateful that she hadn't jumped in that direction.

Where had this sudden desire to jump come from?  Why now?  Why when I am away?  Why? Why? Why? (You can hear the pity me party setting in...and no end of Belgium Waffles could conquer it)!

It didn't help that only 4 days earlier the vet had put an elastic band around the Sarcoid under her sternum and I was under strict instructions for her not to stretch, roll, and do any big movement that could result in the band 'pinging off'.  Jumping 7 foot wide hedges definitely wasn't on the list of things to do!

So what does it all mean?  My instincts know she is bored.  One of her field mates is pregnant and the other is 10 years older than Grace so whilst they are a close knit herd, maybe life isn't as much fun as Grace would like!  To my human eye it seems like pretty good life if you are a horse, but then I'm not a horse and Grace seems keen to remind me of that!

What are my conclusions?

1. Listen to your instincts and if you sense boredom for your horse in their work routine, it probably is real!

2  Horses may need to have fun!  Maybe that means variety, maybe mental stimulation, maybe trips out, adventure - possibly all of the above!

3.  We are deeply connected with our horses.  The truth is that for the last 2 weeks I too have been incredibly grumpy due to boredom in my work.  My brain isn't being challenged, and each day has felt like a repeat of the day before -  like the scene from Ground Hog day!

4. Pity party's ('why me, why when I'm away') serve absolutely no purpose at all! They simply don't help.

5. Celebrating and being grateful for the fact she wasn't badly hurt, lost or worse is an important coping strategy.

6.  Let go and accept!  Shit happens, but when it happens and you are away, and can physically do nothing, there is only one option left to you; to let go and accept things will be ok.

January will start with a new plan of action and activities for Grace and I only hope it will please her and keep her in her field.   God forbid she finds ME boring and puts in another obvious complaint!
 

Gratitude; a Memory of the Heart...

 

2014 is the Year of the Horse!

 

 

Metaphysically speaking, 2014 is the Year of Gratitude!

  

 

My new years resolution is going to be to explore the effects of putting the two together!

 

 

But First, Gratitude is defined as:

 

 thankfulness, gratefulness, or appreciation is a feeling or attitude in acknowledgement of a benefit that one has received or will receive. 

We know that right -  but what is gratitude to you and I, in terms that we can practise and grow from?

For many it is the feeling... 

• of joy
• a celebration of that joy
• of being loved and being loving
• of being vulnerable
• of surrendering to (basking in) love, success and happiness 

Gratitude is a generating energy - with trust, happiness and joy - the more we feel,  the more we generate things to feel that way for!

How many of us, and how regularly, actually practise the art of feeling Gratitude?  

I have a Gratitude book from the good people at The Law of Attraction.  From their teachings, they claim incredible results (life changing at times) from physically write down what we are grateful for.  I do this as often as I remember, and I must confess it does produce good feelings as I write.

My Gratitude book and I aren't always in arms reach so I also have a nightly ritual, before I go to sleep.  I think through the day and list at least 5 things I'm grateful for in that day!  Some days are a stretch and I remind myself I'm grateful for my health, a lovely home and a loving husband and 6 beautifully spirited animals in my life.  Other days, the list is intensely long and rich.  A joy to mentally recite and revel in.

So what if Gratitude is more than a feeling? What if it's 'magic' lies in it's energetic frequency?

 

What if practising feeling Gratitude can achieve the following:

• lifts us into action
• creates something new
• heals
• energises 
• aids us to persevere
• builds into a powerful 'state of being'

Can gratitude take us outside of and beyond our daily 'fear story', our pity party, victim addiction or martyrdom?

On Saturday (January 4th) this year, I read an email from my dear friend Jean Michel in Mauritius.  It was about a movement to 'spread positive intention' and thought across the world.  (A link is at the bottom of this blog).   Literally as I was reading the email, I received some good news - a very positive and synchronistic stroke of luck! Or, was it?

In that moment on Saturday, being fully present in the moment and words of that email, I was awake! It sowed a kernel of thought about being touched by a bigger plan simply by noticing what we pay attention to and the thoughts we manifest!  And so I'm now wondering if Gratitude is a memory of the heart and soul?  An enchanting memory! A place waiting for us to re-visit like a long lost forest we explored as a child. When we visit, we are re-connected to something much bigger than us, and today!  We are re-united with the

I believe more and more that gratitude is a virtue, a strength that triggers other strengths and inspires more of all the good stuff.

Perhaps in 2014 humanity will deal with Gratitude using the conventional definitions of compassion and joy and being thankful. We'll speak of gratitude with empty words that lack meaning, value and a depth of understanding of it's real power.

Or, perhaps we will "wake up" a little more this year, and create a new daily practise of consciously revelling in the feeling of gratitude.  We can begin by consciously dwelling in the love and awe we feel for our horses (or dogs and cats and family).  Let's commit to loosing ourselves daily in the reservoir of love that radiates from our horse's eyes.  Let's stop for a moment each day and bask in the feeling of intense gratitude for having horses in our lives.

Is there a link between the year of the horse and the year of Gratitude?

I believe gratitude helps us to cope with success and failure.  It's also a building block of relationships. It can help us maintain perspective.  This in turn helps to open us up to beauty, magic and a grateful 'state of being'.  Remember the saying nobody likes a misery pants?  (Maybe that was just big in our house growing up, but to me it is a universal Rule so it came from someone)!  Well, isn't it better for our mental state if we surround ourselves with people who don't zap the life out of us? Instead, to be with positive minded people who take responsibility for their life?

To live this year's "calling" or mantra (call it what you will) - is, I hope an invitation to stand wake up, and explore more of who we are.

Is the feeling of Gratitude something to fear, or avoid? 

 

I think it can be.  Most of us don't want to feel indebted to another ...  or admit to something bigger / better than us.  But when we do surrender to the loving energy underpinning gratitude I've discovered nothing but magic appears on your door step! 

Where do we start?

Start small, and keep it simple and honest:

1. Each night in bed, mentally state 5 things of more you are grateful for in that day
2. Write them down, a couple of times a week in a journal, date each entry.  Re-read them
3. Expand your gratitude and write down today, things you are grateful for in the future, that haven't even happened yet.  (Spend today consciously creating tomorrow).
4. Today when you are with your horse just stop!  For a few moments just stand there, close by.  Look into their eyes, and pause!  Let go and feel yourself sink into their unconditional love. Let yourself be loved, by that love.
5. Express inwardly and outwardly, in words or thoughts, your gratitude towards, or because of, your horse, so that they may feel loved in return.  Really connect with the feeling of love, not the outward actions of love (carrots and new rugs).
6. Put your empathy, compassion and caring to work with friends, family, pets. Dispense it into the world noticing what you do and say.
7. Tip toe onto the Revolition organisation website, and the Law or Attraction, notice which ideas and suggestions leap out at you.  Don't try to do it all! 
8. Share your concern, caring, kindness and affection with others in your world.  Be open and honest and present with less 'agenda' and 'must do' mentally and more 'stop and pause and notice'.

I have long been fascinated by why so many humans from all backgrounds, and of all ages are drawn, often inexplicably towards horses.   In my workshops I ask 'why'? 'Why horses?' I watch people in that moment as they connect with 'why' and observe them travel to some distant looking out of reach moment in time, before they return (from deep in their memory) to quietly utter words like:

• beauty
• magic
• freedom
• presence
• wisdom

Their words echo my own. For my 40 years of being obsessed with horses, I am still spell bound by their beauty, their magical powers of strength and grace, how 'alive' they are and their presence.
Captivating!

In summary for now,

If gratitude is a feeling, it can remain private and unspoken.   If feeling gratitude can heal our hurts and renew our energy then what do we have to lose by choosing the path of gratitude for 5 minutes a day?  If we become addicted - I for one won't breath a word! It can't be coincidence that the tips above (not new or invented by me) are similar to the intention expressed by the Revolution organisation.

Don't let being 'thankful' be the sum of what you experience.  Celebrate the love and joy you feel.  Be spontaneous.  Notice any 'lack of gratitude' in your life, and 'counter balance' it with any of the tips above that catch your attention.

My final thought is a bold one: I bet, if you are reading this blog, you have a fiery desire to create something new, better, in your life. What a joy!  What a reason for celebration.

New beginnings will follow,  it's the new year, so they simply have to!

 
Link to revolition: Revolition.org

How to like yourself more...

Play Time and Tears!

I had a wonderful day hanging out with my three glorious horses.  Twice they raised me to tears just looking at them: such peace in their eyes.

I walked away with an immense feeling that my horses like being horses!  They like being who they are. That may sound a bit of a non event on most days but today it  really hit me that to like being who you are, must be such a gift.  I wonder how many of us can say we feel the same way?

Of course there have been moments in our life when we've felt pleased with ourselves at work for our contribution, at home for our friendship and support to friends or family.  But is that the same?  Does this mean we actually like being human and like being who we are - warts and all, day after day?  If we don't, what would we prefer to be? Until recently I hadn't considered being anything else (except wishing I could run on all fours alongside my new puppy)...

... how great would that feel?

Tonight at the yard a fellow livery and her hubby were doing what looked like 'play lunging' with their two horses.  From inside the barn I could hear their laughter - real belly laughter - and once outside I could see hooves, knees and legs all aloft - as the four of them shared some high jinks together.

What a contrast with another livery's words to me about how 'badly behaved' her old boy had been when he was turned out.  Apparently, once off the lead rope and lose in the field he would kick, buck, tear about and be "unruly".  I wanted to suggest maybe the horse was expressing himself in a moment of happiness and joy.  I sensed she didn't see it that way.

All around us there are people who are happy with themselves and we can see that through their relationship with their horses, if we know what to look for. Others are not so blessed.

It is said that by turning our attention inward to our self that we are able to experience a deeper connection with Life, with God, Nature and beyond.  And, as humans, every relationship we ever have with another exactly mirrors one or more aspects of the relationship we have with our self. 

So, can we learn to like ourselves? Can our horses teach us how? I hope so as Horses are so much closer to nature than we are with all our mod-cons and materialism. 

In his book Messages From Water -  Dr. Masaru Emoto shows the powerful effect that our thoughts and words have on us. In his research he attached written words to containers of water, such as “Thank you,” “I love you,” and “You fool!” Then he froze the water and took photos of the water crystals with a microscopic camera. In addition to using written words, he varied his experiments with thoughts, music and pictures.  This is one of my favourite books which I often take to seminars I'm delivering to help people think about the affect our thoughts have on us.

In every case when there was a positive energy used, whether it was a written word, a verbal statement, or a picture, the photos of the frozen crystals were exquisitely beautiful, as above.

On the other hand, in every case where the stimulus was negative, the crystals were small, misshapen and deformed! This so clearly demonstrates the effects of negativity when we bury ourselves under unkind thoughts, or beliefs about our body, mind, or abilities. 

If our bodies are about 60% water, imagine what happens to the part of us that is water when we are hit with lots of negativity. Whose to say it doesn't have the same debilitating effect on all parts of all our body cells. No wonder we struggle to feel good about who we are on an average day.

Add to this, the famous book, film and industry known as the Law of Attraction which warns us that when cells vibrate with negativity it draws towards us, more of the same.

These two pieces of work are relatively recent.  Not everyone has yet to come across them and their important messages.  Without them we are left floundering under a sea of pressure to be this way or that, taller, smarter, faster, thiner or just better.

So back to play time and tears....

The life of a horse isn't always 'a walk in the park'.  Looking at their 3 basic needs it's a wonder any show happiness to be alive, never mind as a horse.

Food & water: some horses have it, others have too much or insufficient. Many go without vital herbs or nutrients	Most of us can put food on our tables whenever we need it, enjoy lavish meals, detox, diet or fest, stick to the same diet or vary it up
Friendship: some horses spend a lifetime without same species relationships or contact. Family separation is a guarantee, often prematurely	We get to pick and choose our friends real, virtual, local or worldwide.  We also get to stay in touch or switch them out on demand
Freedom: some horses are locked up all day, many can’t pick and choose when they work or what job they do or when to retire	We can move around the Globe, be alone or with others, express ourselves, work for others or create our own work

Next time we notice happiness in a horses expression or stance, or in their love of being able to run about let's wonder why its so hard for us to feel pleased to be who we are when on the face of it, we have so much more.

Let's stop and remember that beyond the 3 x F's, all those other things we long for in life just alienate us further from our true selves, from nature and from a meaningful connection with both, leaving us strangers to ourselves amongst the paraphernalia of a modern existence.

It seems shallow to simply view the needs of a horse as simply the 3 x F's.  It seems unrealistic to compare our ability to like ourselves based on only that as criteria.  To look deeper can be difficult to get our heads around.  To keep it simple and practical here's my own list of the lessons our horses might be trying to pass on to us, to help us learn how to like ourselves!

* they don't judge themselves or others

* they don't seem to set goals and push themselves constantly 
* they live for today and in the moment of now

* they only hold a grudge (in the form of negative associations) with good reason usually fear based

* they probably don't generate negative or positive thoughts - just in the moment awareness

* they aren't likely to compare themselves with other horses abilities, size, shape or luck

* they know how to communicate with each other very effectively without misunderstandings

* arguments are resolved quickly

* they use their energy wisely and avoid being exhausted at the end of the day 

* they don't try to be something they aren't knowing when they are confident and capable or not

* they aren't fickle and don't flit between equine relationships (if allowed the choice)

* they reciprocate touch and scratching when offered 

* they don't appear to have a negative ego like humans and can let go of the need to control

* they don't play emotional games with one another

* they don't lie 

* they know how to have fun and try to do so when the mood grabs them

* they are patient and tolerant of other species

* they are communal by choice preferring to share their world not keep it for themselves

In summary horses appear to be great ambassadors for RESPONSIBILITY.  Not as we are taught at school and at home which manifests more like duty, burden, 'ought' and 'should'.  For horses responsibility simply means 'being able to respond'.  To what?  Their needs.  Moment by moment.  If they need to sleep they doze. If they need to run they run.  If they want to eat they eat.  etc.  The good news is that there is nothing stopping us (people) from having the same approach to our lives.  Most of us (if adult) are not in captivitiy, stabled, told what to do, or when to eat etc.  We are much more like the undomesticated, free roaming horse - able to respond to our needs moment by moment, if we would just give ourselves permission.  Be selfish!  A place of honest intent to be happy by fulfilling our needs which puts us in a better position to help others - human or horse.

I'm sure the list above isn't complete.  However, even as it stands it makes a compelling set of tips on 'how to live our lives in order to like ourselves more'.

With my horses help I will keep digging deeper to explore 'how to like myself more' - but for today this is where my awareness level is at so my musing will have to end for now.