It's easy to be critical of others. It's especially so when others do and say things differently from yourself.
My work with Essy is helping me to tune into things that normally I might not tune into. As an example I am now acutely aware of the things people say about their horses. Sadly the tone of most owner/rider comments suggest we have a long way to go on our journey to greater awareness.
Awareness in this case meaning 'being awake' and consciously able to chose the things we say and the things we do. (If ever we need a quick lesson into sizing up people - just notice what they say - the words and expressions they use. It will tell you so much about their beliefs and attitude to life).
Awareness also means taking stock of how accountable we are for our actions; do we walk our own talk? It's also about our willingness to challenge ourselves when we hear ourselves say things we don't like or act in a way that doesn't make sense, isn't loving, or isn't in tune with the true nature of horses.
Below are 7 examples of some of the things I've heard over the last few weeks - sadly I'm sure horse lovers everywhere will recognise some if not all of them:
Deadly Sin No. 1: Being unreasonable
One horse owner said to another owner "No, my horse doesn't get a day off"
Why? I wondered. What does 7 days a week achieve? Is that how to be loving towards our horse or appreciative of his/her physical needs? Don't we take a day off? How many human athletes do any of us know that train 7 days a week throughout the year?
Deadly Sin No. 2: No common sense
I have heard many a horse owner say something similar to this... "she's lame - but I'll have to crack on as she is behind in her fitness"
Old fashioned sayings about " a stitch in time..." spring to mind! How many other machines do you know that continue to work well and safely when broken or physically impaired?" After all horses are machines right!
Deadly Sin No. 3: Abdicating responsibility
Having lived in southern baptist Texas, USA I am accustomed to hearing people say they'll "let God guide them or show them the way". Rarely do I hear God's direction being used as the excuse for why we follow a particular course of action with our horses. Yet, for many owners and riders the modern day "God" equivalent is the VET! When you hear owners explaining "she's lame but the vet wants me to keep working her so that when she goes to the Vet hospital they can see the problem" I wonder whose horse is it? As a responsible owner if your vet said hang him up by his hooves would you try?
Does such advise ring true? Is it really the best advise we can get? Is it compassionate? Surely catching something before it gets any worse optimises the horse's chance of recovery and lowers our vets bill? Let's listen out for egotistical vet speak and find a more instinctive solution.
Deadly Sin No. 4: Sticking to the Agenda regardless
Riders often declare... "she doesn't look right behind or in front, I think ill get on and see how she is under saddle"
Always a safe option - not!, Of course you could just leave her for a day and revisit the situation tomorrow. It must be too obvious and too simple because it's rarely followed. More likely is the habit of being sucked into our own agenda of the moment - "im here to ride, and so ride i will".
Deadly Sin No. 5: Forgetting actions speak louder than words
If I had a £ for every time i've heard someone utter the words... "if only horses could talk and tell us"
...as the horse limps along visibly unsound. My guess is he is talking loud and clear - question is are we listening?
Deadly Sin no. 6: Cruel to be kind; sometimes isn't!
A lovely horse owner recently admitted to me that their horse had suddenly been behaving badly - bucking, rearing, napping and refusing to load. "We think he has ulcers that's why he is in boot camp with the trainer - to 'sort him out'" she said.
Are we really advocating treating a sudden change of behaviour with more ridden work and pressure? How can a more experienced rider sitting on top, hope to address underlying internal health matters? Is it really easier (never mind right) to push on in such circumstances and force the horse through his issue versus giving him time off to properly diagnose and resolve the internal problem, once and for all?
Deadly Sin no. 7: Believing others know better
At a dressage camp this summer a rider came out of her lesson declaring the trainer had told her "I need to make him more scared of me than he is of the arena"
For a split second there is some logic to that statement. This split second is however born out of arrogance - that we know better, that we must conquer and defeat the horse. If we are awake we will realise that comments like this come from an attitude of aggression, oppression, arrogance and dominance. When did such characteristics ever lead to anything other than war? It is wise to consider such perspectives when offered by others, but let's stay awake long enough to evaluate them for how well they fit with the kind of relationship we want with our horse. Instead of taking it automatically on board, we could always ask the trainer for some alternatives? What ideas does he/she have that come from a place of dominion and compassion instead?
Lecturing adults rarely gains follower-ship. I am aware of that as I write. Yet, I know from my own bitter experience that until we are able to voice record ourselves as we go about our horsey business, then play the recording back to actually hear ourselves ... change doesn't happen. We don't wake up. We stay on auto-pilot believing what we've always told ourselves or had others tell us, is true.
It's time to stop, listen and think! Listen to what we and others say and think (and the beliefs and ideology that lie beneath). Be curious about the fact that we don't all talk the same way about our horses or riding experience - so what does it mean to have conscious choice over what we say? How in control of what comes out of our mouths are we?
I'm certain our horses would appreciate us listening to ourselves a lot more, before we try to become expert at interpreting them. Who knows it might help us interpret with more accuracy and sincerity.
It costs nothing to pay attention to how we talk to, and about our horses - no expensive trainer or vet's call out charge. As a final thought and to project an image of where I hope we can move away from - a woman spoke to me this week describing her two dressage horses as "this thing" and "the orange thing". I was shocked. I felt embarrassed. I walked quickly away. Surely, this kind of unconscious language that we so easily use is the opposite of 'skilled horsemanship' or 'competitive riding'?
Such a simple throw away comment suggests we in the horse community have a long way to go before we break with traditional mindsets which to me seem as out of place today, as Latin and embroidery lessons!
My work with Essy is helping me to tune into things that normally I might not tune into. As an example I am now acutely aware of the things people say about their horses. Sadly the tone of most owner/rider comments suggest we have a long way to go on our journey to greater awareness.
Awareness in this case meaning 'being awake' and consciously able to chose the things we say and the things we do. (If ever we need a quick lesson into sizing up people - just notice what they say - the words and expressions they use. It will tell you so much about their beliefs and attitude to life).
Awareness also means taking stock of how accountable we are for our actions; do we walk our own talk? It's also about our willingness to challenge ourselves when we hear ourselves say things we don't like or act in a way that doesn't make sense, isn't loving, or isn't in tune with the true nature of horses.
Below are 7 examples of some of the things I've heard over the last few weeks - sadly I'm sure horse lovers everywhere will recognise some if not all of them:
Deadly Sin No. 1: Being unreasonable
One horse owner said to another owner "No, my horse doesn't get a day off"
Why? I wondered. What does 7 days a week achieve? Is that how to be loving towards our horse or appreciative of his/her physical needs? Don't we take a day off? How many human athletes do any of us know that train 7 days a week throughout the year?
Deadly Sin No. 2: No common sense
I have heard many a horse owner say something similar to this... "she's lame - but I'll have to crack on as she is behind in her fitness"
Old fashioned sayings about " a stitch in time..." spring to mind! How many other machines do you know that continue to work well and safely when broken or physically impaired?" After all horses are machines right!
Deadly Sin No. 3: Abdicating responsibility
Having lived in southern baptist Texas, USA I am accustomed to hearing people say they'll "let God guide them or show them the way". Rarely do I hear God's direction being used as the excuse for why we follow a particular course of action with our horses. Yet, for many owners and riders the modern day "God" equivalent is the VET! When you hear owners explaining "she's lame but the vet wants me to keep working her so that when she goes to the Vet hospital they can see the problem" I wonder whose horse is it? As a responsible owner if your vet said hang him up by his hooves would you try?
Does such advise ring true? Is it really the best advise we can get? Is it compassionate? Surely catching something before it gets any worse optimises the horse's chance of recovery and lowers our vets bill? Let's listen out for egotistical vet speak and find a more instinctive solution.
Deadly Sin No. 4: Sticking to the Agenda regardless
Riders often declare... "she doesn't look right behind or in front, I think ill get on and see how she is under saddle"
Always a safe option - not!, Of course you could just leave her for a day and revisit the situation tomorrow. It must be too obvious and too simple because it's rarely followed. More likely is the habit of being sucked into our own agenda of the moment - "im here to ride, and so ride i will".
Deadly Sin No. 5: Forgetting actions speak louder than words
If I had a £ for every time i've heard someone utter the words... "if only horses could talk and tell us"
...as the horse limps along visibly unsound. My guess is he is talking loud and clear - question is are we listening?
Deadly Sin no. 6: Cruel to be kind; sometimes isn't!
A lovely horse owner recently admitted to me that their horse had suddenly been behaving badly - bucking, rearing, napping and refusing to load. "We think he has ulcers that's why he is in boot camp with the trainer - to 'sort him out'" she said.
Are we really advocating treating a sudden change of behaviour with more ridden work and pressure? How can a more experienced rider sitting on top, hope to address underlying internal health matters? Is it really easier (never mind right) to push on in such circumstances and force the horse through his issue versus giving him time off to properly diagnose and resolve the internal problem, once and for all?
Deadly Sin no. 7: Believing others know better
At a dressage camp this summer a rider came out of her lesson declaring the trainer had told her "I need to make him more scared of me than he is of the arena"
For a split second there is some logic to that statement. This split second is however born out of arrogance - that we know better, that we must conquer and defeat the horse. If we are awake we will realise that comments like this come from an attitude of aggression, oppression, arrogance and dominance. When did such characteristics ever lead to anything other than war? It is wise to consider such perspectives when offered by others, but let's stay awake long enough to evaluate them for how well they fit with the kind of relationship we want with our horse. Instead of taking it automatically on board, we could always ask the trainer for some alternatives? What ideas does he/she have that come from a place of dominion and compassion instead?
Lecturing adults rarely gains follower-ship. I am aware of that as I write. Yet, I know from my own bitter experience that until we are able to voice record ourselves as we go about our horsey business, then play the recording back to actually hear ourselves ... change doesn't happen. We don't wake up. We stay on auto-pilot believing what we've always told ourselves or had others tell us, is true.
It's time to stop, listen and think! Listen to what we and others say and think (and the beliefs and ideology that lie beneath). Be curious about the fact that we don't all talk the same way about our horses or riding experience - so what does it mean to have conscious choice over what we say? How in control of what comes out of our mouths are we?
I'm certain our horses would appreciate us listening to ourselves a lot more, before we try to become expert at interpreting them. Who knows it might help us interpret with more accuracy and sincerity.
Put meaning to the saying "Life is a dictionary" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
It costs nothing to pay attention to how we talk to, and about our horses - no expensive trainer or vet's call out charge. As a final thought and to project an image of where I hope we can move away from - a woman spoke to me this week describing her two dressage horses as "this thing" and "the orange thing". I was shocked. I felt embarrassed. I walked quickly away. Surely, this kind of unconscious language that we so easily use is the opposite of 'skilled horsemanship' or 'competitive riding'?
Such a simple throw away comment suggests we in the horse community have a long way to go before we break with traditional mindsets which to me seem as out of place today, as Latin and embroidery lessons!
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