To be or not to be.... Direct?

One of the fascinations for me with horses is their honesty.  

 The speed with which they give us feedback.  Their ability to not hold grudges.  Their forgiveness.  Their empathy.  Their selfish ability to put their needs first (spook, run, fidget, shake, snort...).  All of which suggests they are masters at  being 'direct'.

You might prefer to think of 'directness' as assertive, forthright or even selfish or rude.  Any of those might fit.  So do you believe that being direct is a good or bad thing?  Do you strive towards being more of it or run away from it?  Is it a quality to be cherished, nurtured, and developed?  Do we secretly enjoy the bravery of others who are it, but punish them outwardly when they do so?  Do we know when we are doing it and with what impact? Does it suit some situations well and others less so? Can we be discerning enough to know the difference?

In my coaching work, whenever someone asks me if they are being 'too direct' its as if they've asked me if I want honesty or only partial honesty.  Why would I want less than the real thing?   The clue is in the use of the word 'too' direct.  For anything to be too much,  too little, too silly, too childish.... implies we are making a comparison.   So, I like to know what is being compared with what? Or with whom and why?

Most of us struggle to be specific about the 'who' or the 'what'.  We end up swimming in a verbal stream of some people don't like it, you lose friends, it makes you seem undiplomatic etc. etc.  This is probably true.  Yet its also true that we could experience all of that by being not direct enough!

At the end of the day people who are direct often have things to say.  Points of view that might be eye opening.   Passionate feelings about something or someone that could inspire action in others.  They may have a vision that will shift paradigms, or a story to tell that touches the heart.

You've probably guessed that I enjoy the company of people who are direct.  It gives me a quick way to decide how much of my time I want to spend hanging out with them.  If only dating had been that easy or interviewing for a job!

A dose of straight up talking has provided me with the most valuable lessons in my adult life so far.  It's given me the choice to face demons, the chance to dig deep and to keep searching for answers and meaning so I could enjoy more of the good things in life.  Most of all some people are here as 'map makers' they create new territories for others to follow if they chose.  No one is forced to follow or listen, but if the map they creates should fall into our hands I highly recommend we take a look at least!