“Inspiration is a guest who doesn’t like to visit lazy people.”
- Tchaikovsky (composer)
In view of recent postings (Cumupense and just deserts and the Emperors Clothes) I have been reflecting on what it will take for us humans to move beyond bad temper, domination and exertion of power with horses, towards a more inspired and lets face it "EASIER" way to be.
After all, it takes a lot of energy, and effort to be angry, violent or always right! It's a heavy emotional cross to bear and I don't believe it leaves anyone truly feeling good about themselves (although most who behave like this have learned NOT to feel at all)!
In my coaching work, I often meet people who are 'anesthetized' from feeling - they suffer from feelings of deep restlessness or boredom, pangs of martyrdom or victim, and of course don't tend to find much to laugh at!
To understand the significance of shutting ourselves down like this - preferring not to think or to feel, I liken it to being locked up in a fortress with the draw bridge raised. From within we kid ourselves that no more harm can reach us, which isn't true plus, we block out the good stuff too, without realising it! Locked up in this cold and stony place actually does deliver more harm than good - harm we self inflict by keeping company only with ourselves!
To create moments of inspiration we must be alive; feeling and thinking. We must live with the expansive energies not the diminishing ones where we try to live a small, safe life. This keeps us trapped and caged.
Again, we come back to how self aware are we of what we are thinking, feeling, and the choices and decisions we are making. Do we even realise we are metaphorically 'asleep', anaesthetised and locked up inside our limiting beliefs?
Socrates, who himself seemed pretty good at inspiring people, once proclaimed, “the unexamined life is not worth living.” Sources of inspiration essentially come from within, even though they may be stimulated by external experiences. So, if like me you are disillusioned with equine trainers who repeatedly fall foul of ego, anger and domination, it’s time to be the best you can be for your horse and a role model for others, no matter how small a start we make.
It's starts with some personal research and barn or field time doing absolutely nothing except naval gazing. Consider your own responses to the following:-
- What truly inspires you and nurtures your relationship with horses?
- What gets your passion for horses flowing?
- When do you tremble with excitement or joy?
- What is the story you want to tell about the changes you want to make for your horse, or others?
- Can you paint a mental picture of what the improved way of being will look like?
- Is your current personal story compelling enough to inspire people? If not, what can you create instead?
For most of us breaking free from the mold, norms, convention and expectation takes effort, realisation, and a healthy dose of guts or desperation. We probably recognise it in many forms 'breaking out of our comfort zone' being just one.
To avoid reaching the point of desperation as a trigger for change, start your parole time by learning about developing curiosity and self awareness. Here are 20 suggestions to help you consciously break free from your current shekels to explore what else is out there and what is still to be discovered, before desperation or depression sets in.
20 WAYS TO STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
1. Disagree with someone important
2. Raise money for an equine charity
3. Tell your horse just how much you care about them and why and mean it
4. Break the rules of convention, BHS, Pony club, or what everyone else does and says is normal
5. Challenge convention and keep challenging it until you hear the truth - you'll know when you do
6. Try new things out for yourself
7. Do what’s right, not what’s expected
8. Spend a day navigating your barn and stable in a wheelchair - feel what confinement is like
9. Act without always knowing the likely outcome - experiment!
10. Deliberately put yourself in a learning situation every day
11. Ask five people for feedback about your horsemanship approach
12. Commit to action without knowing if others will support you
13. Choose twelve new experiences for you and your horse and complete one each month of the year
14. Disrupt old patterns and habits - take a different route home for once, read a paper you hate, get up each day at a different time, mount from the wrong side!!
15. Spend a day with the least experienced horse person in your barn/ you know
16. Invite a non horsey person to attend your riding lesson and critique it
17. Give up being told what to do in your riding lessons and take the lead yourself, for six months
18. Ask for a list of anyone who has complained about your horse and personally ring and apologise—really listen to why they are annoyed by him/her
19. Share your favourite poem with your horse and explain why you love it
20. Share this list with others (like-minded or otherwise) to expand it further
Breaking free from what's expected isn't for all of us and nor does it have to be done in one giant leap. But knowing that its an option at least raises our self awareness and provides options for a later day!
When it comes to doing things differently now or later, we can't all be like the founders of Innocent drinks Richard Reed, Adam Balon and Jon Wright who started Innocent Drinks in 1999 after selling our smoothies at a music festival. They put up a big sign asking people if they thought they should give up their jobs to make smoothies, and put a bin saying 'Yes' and a bin saying 'No' in front of the stall. Then they got people to vote with their empties. At the end of the weekend, the 'Yes' bin was full, so they resigned from their jobs the next day and got cracking. What did they have to lose, and just look at what they (and consumers like you and I) have gained!
We can however embrace some important reminders about why failing to change or failing to do it NOW at least, is not the end of the road to a better future.
7 THINGS FAILURE IS NOT:
- Failure is not avoidable – sooner or later, human beings are bound to fail
- Failure is not an event, but a process; success is simply a journey
- Failure is not objective - only the person involved can say for sure it’s a failure
- Failure is not the enemy – it takes adversity to achieve success; it is fertiliser
- Failure is not irreversible - all situations have some potential for recovery
- Failure is not a stigma – it is not a permanent marker, merely a step towards success
- Failure is not final – it is simply a price we pay to achieve success
Through my work and own life experience I've found that bucket loads of energy helps us to change our ways and our understanding. Energy meaning determination, endurance, resilience. Energy meaning bags of the expansive, abundance attracting feminine energies such as:
- joy
- love
- dominion
- excitement
- forgiveness
- humility
...versus the more negative, shrinking energies of anger, rage, chauvinism, manipulation.
The good news for us as individuals and for society and the world at large is that to reach beyond where we exist today, to grow and delevelp, to become more of ourselves, we don't have to read books, go to classes or pass exams.
We do have to WANT to be more; happier, healthier, more loving, being more loved etc. We need to see that we deserve all of these things (and in turn so too do our horses).
We actually have to want to embrace change without knowing whats on the other side awaiting us! Pure magic as it happens!
We wont be forced to live out our lives without some moments of inspiration or encouragement just because we find embracing change difficult, life isn't meant to be cruel. Its meant to be fun! However, once we have had our eyes opened and once we step onto a new path - it is hard to turn back.
The truth has to be shared openly, upfront and what I know from my own personal journey and years of working on myself, is that the break through moments don't come without emotional work. This is the context by which I mean
"Inspiration is a guest who doesn’t like to visit lazy people.”
Living without regrets must however be one sure way of testing out the theory of if we've ever truly tried to go beyond our own comfort zone.
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