The Wizard of Oz Within!

I spent last Friday attending a business course in London.  At the end of any course I always hope I will  go away with lots to muse over.  I did, this time during the course not just after it!

The theme of the course was Accountability - with lessons taken from The Wizard of Oz . 

As a film it is apparently one of the wildest and most infamous productions of any movie ever filmed. Did you know that half of the cast was either injured or nearly died during production?

Despite this reality, when we think of the film most of us reflect on it with fond memories of red shoes, a yellow brick road, munchkins, the Emerald City, Judy garland, and of course Toto the dog.  

A potentially bland plot about a little girl "trying to get back home" is spiced up with a gnarly wicked witch and the central characters of ...

Dorothy 
a Tin Woodsman

a Lion

and a Scarecrow

The tin woodsman craves a heart, the lion - courage,  the scarecrow wants a brain and of course Dorothy just wants to go back home!

As many horse owners will know the journey these intrepid four took towards the Emerald City (the alleged font of all knowledge) feels similar to the one we take each day as caring horse owners.

When you take on the guardianship of another sentient being, there are days when you have to embrace the true meaning of the Wizard of Oz and...

have the courage to see things differently,

the heart to own the things that are most important to us,

the ability to solve and deal with daily problems that arise,

and

the means to take action.

The mantra of courage, heart, ownership and action trips us up daily be it as we wrestle with should we ride horses, is horse racing cruel, do we have the right trainer, horse management, or diet for our horse? A fellow equine blogger Issy Clarke has recently been capturing her own inner debate about to ride or not in her blog The Spoken Horse.

Back to the Film.  Most of the film has a central focus - finding the Emerald City.  As everyone likes a successful outcome, the gang find it but then realise it isn't real. Our fab four quickly realise the Wizard is a fake, all smoke and mirrors and their journey looks like it has been for nothing. 

Life can feel like that at times.  Jobs full of promise that don't manifest, bosses full of empty words, kids that say they will, then don't.... etc.    The good news in the film is that the four characters had the very qualities that they desired, all along, hidden within themselves.   Their journey, far from being a waste of time, ended up the process through which they revealed important inner qualities and forged lifelong friendships along the way.

For many of us, horses are part of our learning and journey towards such personal growth and discovery whether we see it or not.  They are our friends and teachers not just stable companions.  As Issy says in her most recent blog "they open up windows and doors" of experience and awareness that in turn reveals more about ourselves so we can find our true nature and get in step with the nature of the horse.

Here is another equine writer and friend who is exploring amongst other things, how horses bring out our true colours and nature, in his blog The Mindful Horse.

I have found that horses help us find new depths and hidden truths about our character, and as if by magic they can lead us down the path of new friendships,  (two and four legged kind), that last a lifetime!

The Wizard of Oz has other  meaningful lessons for us to learn about in the quest of being accountable for the well being of our selves and our horses.  The central characters are full of reasons why they can't.... why they lack courage, heart, intelligence or continue to be lost!  The truth however, is that when we stop working on finding a solution - we lack true 'accountability' and end up with nothing more than a host of excuses!

One way out of this trap is to wake up and consciously begin our own journey down the yellow brick road.  We can find more of ourselves when we pursue the Emerald City and Wizard within. 

Sometimes, we don't know where to start or how to search, or what to look for.  The answer to where lies within; the answer to how and what is in our behaviour.

Our behaviour becomes our own pair of red shoes waiting to take us home if only we knew to click our heels!

On the journey towards accountability (versus excuses) our power lies in cultivating the following behaviours (source: Partners in Leadership).

How would you score against each of these key behaviours, today?:

1. You seek the perspectives and ideas of others?
2. You are open and candid in your communication?
3. You ask for and offer feedback?
4. You hear the 'hard things' so you can see the reality of a situation?
5. You are personally invested (have passion)?
6. You learn from successes and failures?
7. You act on any feedback you receive?
8. You constantly ask 'what else can I do?'
9. You creatively deal with obstacles?
10. You take necessary risks?
11. You do what you say you'll do?
12. You don't blame others?

What could you do tomorrow to boost your score in each?


Frequent readers of this blog will know I like to come up with generalisations such as "there are 2 types of horse people"... well, today, there are 4 kinds:

those people who make things happen

those who watch it happen

those who wonder what happened

those that never knew something happened at all

If we want to "find our way back home" like Dorothy, it begins with personal introspection - lots of it.  The questions above can act as a self navigating compass to keep us on track to find our inner Wizard.  Our horses will often be the ones to bring to us the most useful of life's lessons through experience.  To experience life is the only way to reveal more about our strengths and areas of growth.
  

Given that at the start of this post I mentioned the high 'incident and near death rate' associated with the filming of the Wizard of Oz, we might sometimes ask ourselves if the risks outweigh the benefits of 'finding ourselves'?

I think the answer has to be yes. 

A film like this survives the decades.  Similarly once we learn important lessons be that accountability or any other, it stays with us for life, maybe even lifetimes! I like to think of our personal growth as comparable with us reaping in later lifetimes what we sow in this one.

So, once we really know ourselves, its the equivalent of Dorothy finding her way 'back home' and that has to be a good feeling for us and for everyone in our circle of influence fury or human!

Die Zauberflöte

A Short "thanks" to Mozart and his Magic Flute!

Every Saturday morning I head out of the house for my weekly Flute lesson.  I have had an obsession with playing the flute since the age of 14.  To cut a long story short my early aspirations were hindered after only 3 months of lessons when the flute went back to the rental shop, due to a lack of family funds to finance lessons.  

My desire to play, and love of the instrument did not die there; burning away inside me ever since.   

Thirteen years ago having left America and moved back to the UK I decided to buy myself a flute - a kind of consolation prize for leaving my fabulous life in Dallas, Texas.

It is a wonderful sparkling silver Yamaha, set in its rich burgundy velvet box. There it sat for 12 years, until last January when I eventually gave myself a kick up the backside to find a teacher and start playing again.

Now all of this background is largely irrelevant here, but my flute Teacher is not!

How often do you find someone with talent you can't even get your head around?  I've lost track of how many instruments she plays, how many orchestras she is a member of or Chairperson for.  She arranges, composes and travels Europe as a guest player and teacher. 

All told she's a bit of a Music Celeb, living 3 miles down the road from me! Go figure!

Last year she opened Glastonbury playing her Alpine Horn and this year she is back, on stage with the Kaiser Chiefs!  Blimey!

Each week with her, I learn or am reminded of something important.  Something about passion, feeling,  and physical or emotional movement.  On the one hand she speaks a language of maths, quavers and scales, yet manages to translate it as she goes, into stories, quotes, funny cartoons and philosophy.

What do I learn from my music lessons (besides playing the flute)? 

I am learning about the wisdom of the heart!

Of course I also learn about rhythm, upbeats and phrasing.  I'm learning to follow whats written down on the score.  Then, just occasionally, my fingers get ahead of me and do their own damned thing! 

At these moments,  amidst the beads of anxiety trickling down my head at having in my own mind 'failed to read the score correctly' - unexpectedly it results in a compliment about my 'musicality'.  

It seems that when I stop 'trying' and stop 'following' and 'sticking strictly to the score' I am able to create and play a piece of music better than when stick to reading what's there.   It seems accuracy isn't the be all and end all in music!  

Then this morning I was coaching a wonderful French man who lives his life 'by the book'.  He is currently getting 'stitched up' by his employer despite over a decade of being a loyal and hard working guy.   So much for playing by the book again!

Back to my flute teacher!  

As we discussed the difference between reading music and playing music she reminded me that

"you don't think of the inches when you run a mile"!  

As a non runner, I wasn't entirely sure what she was getting at.  Until I thought about how I might apply that sentiment to my horse riding.  Suddenly it became clear.  So many of us 'over ride' - mentally and physically.  We "try" so hard, we set such high goals, we 'want' from our horses all the time.  We focus so much mental effort on the tiny details of  toes, heels, elbows, seat bones - like the precise crotchets and quavers of a bar.

We kick, kick and kick again.  We constantly nudge our horses sides and get after them as we trot around the menage.  Our hands fiddle, our weight isn't stable.  It's hell up there at times!

What if....? 

We didn't think about any of this (the inches) when we ride?  What if we sat there, loose limed, relaxed and enjoying the ride?  Could we ride better?  Would we be more in harmony with our horse?  Would it keep us more focused on the end in mind (the mile not the inches)?  Surely the overall trust and quality of relationship would be better?

As I analysed the style of my flute teacher, another teacher in my life came into mind.  Mario!  Mario believes as does Klaus Hempfling that 'riding is easy' if we keep it that way.  Complexity is our choice and our convenient excuse for not being at one with our horse. 

Two weeks ago in my lesson, Mario was annoyed with me because I was gripping with my thighs in canter.  "You're damned right I'm gripping" was my reply.  I too became frustrated as I couldn't explain to him the dread I felt 'letting go' on top a 17.1hh horse.

However, as with all my Mario lessons, I left wanting more.  I left determined to trust his wisdom.  I know that what he says always has the horses best interest at heart.  He knows that in placing the horse first, my best interest is served too.

So, it seems, I have no escape!  I am surrounded by teachers who find ways to unlock my brain, stretch my synapses to make new connections and leave me always wanting more and to do or be 'better'.

Today, I have to do my VAT return, but first I had to write.  My reward for completing my vat return will be a flutter on my flute, before some quality horse time.  Today I want to really start the process of letting go of the inches (my thighs), and focus on that mile ahead!

 
I think when we are ready to let the wisdom of the heart show up - it will, be that the wisdom of our own inner heart, or the wisdom learnt by others, already ahead of us on this path, who are willing to share their wisdom, if we are willing to let it in!

KIS-S

... Keep It Simple - Stupid!

I really don't think we place enough value on keeping things simple!

In London yesterday a colleague and I were discussing the virtues of growing up in corporate life and learning to negotiate with Trade Unions.  We had other great 'career grooming' experiences we shared, all of which boiled down to one premise:

"it takes a lot of effort to make something look simple"

Tonight, as I was enjoying grooming my herd one at a time, outside in the evening warmth I noticed how little I have had to do this year to groom out their winter coats.  Unlike last year where I remember weeks of daily rubber curry combing.  

What's different this year?

Either Grace or Essy insist on sticking out their tongues for Barn Photos!  Always!

I can only think that its somehow linked to less rugging up over the winter.  An advantage of indoor American Barn life has kept the temperature in the stables a lot warmer than normal, and much more consistent.  Less severe rises and falls and no howling winds. 

As a result, is it possible that their skin just hasn't had to 'hang onto' its fur so ferociously?

Essy early June 2014

Solar Sue early June 2014

They've also been out in the field rug free a lot earlier in the year than normal.  All told these things have somehow made a difference.  The thickness of their coats wasn't any less, compared to other years.  Coat loss didn't start any earlier or later, its just required a lot less man power and intervention by me!

Essy's sweet itch has still not returned for another year, nor too thank God did last year's 16 weeks of mud fever 'hell' make a come back!

We've had no mystery rash on Grace's neck, nor any cellulitis and everyone is still barefoot without an abscess in sight! Given all the rain and flooding we endured this winter I'd say that alone was quite a result!

.... Long may it last!

 
I'd say a simple life is paying back ten times over for this little herd of happy horses.  So has it been easy or does it take a lot of effort behind the scenes to have so few problems to show for it?

It does take a continual level of human effort, vigilance and "thinking".   James Hart tonics and Naturally Animals herbs are critical to maintaining internal health, varying what i offer by month and in response to the environment and weather.

This was especially important this winter given we moved yards in October 2013 and didn't know the grass and soil quality, acidity etc. of the new yard, not having experienced a winter there before.

Grace early June 2014

Foot care still takes daily wire brushing, stone removal and close scrutiny.  I check walls for rings, cracks and signs of equine digital elastocis.  Soles and frogs are treated daily with Iodine disinfectant solution. On top of that once a week I carry out a health check on the herd so I know what's normal for each horse in terms of their temperature, breathing rate,  gum colour, hydration, digital pulses and pelvis alignment.

As with any good film, theatrical production or business presentation - there's a lot that goes on behind the scenes to keep different breeds, of different ages in fine 'fettle'.

It's a job I wouldn't swap for anything or with anyone.  It's a job I highly recommend and the devil is most definitely always in the detail!

"Agghh" or the "Ahhh" Factor ?

I often find myself saying "there are two types of horse person...."

On a sunny June afternoon my neighbour's new born baby girl lay wriggling with delight in the fresh cool grass, under the shade of an apple tree.  As her proud mum looked on.

It was late afternoon, and I hadn't yet been to the horses, having spent the day working in London.  It was lovely to spend a few peaceful moments watching a 3 month old baby smile at her mum and enjoy a life of pretty dresses and adoration, under a blue filled sky.

Conversation turned to horses.  My friend told me about a box set of videos she had recently watched called 'Luck' - set in the horse racing world.  She asked about my views on Horse Racing, which then lead to my views on Polo.  She had no idea that as a 19 year old I was riding race horses and working in that Industry.  Nor, that for 20 years now, I've played polo and Essy and Solar are both Ex Polo ponies.

It's strange in moments like this to reflect on what you've done and who you were, once upon a time...

I adored going flat out up the gallops, shedding racing goggles laced with mud in the winter.  I adored and still do the thrill and speed with which the ball changes direction in polo, and you are rewarded for 'taking the man out' - and it's totally above board!

Now I sponsor Polo for kicks!

Yet, I know first hand the negative impact on the horses.  The injuries, often left un-recognised and un-treated.  The sometimes rough and inconsiderate handling, the competitive rather than compassionate approach to their care and the overly aggressive riding.

In both sports the horses show incredible bravery, agility and intelligence.  They learn the 'game' in both sports, but often that's taken for granted by riders and trainers alike.

I've experienced both worlds first hand, from the inside.  I'm able to objectively assess the merits and de-merits of both.  I dislike many elements of both from the perspective of the horse, yet I can not deny the infectious surge of adrenalin you get as the rider.

As we chatted,  a picture of another friend of mine,  came into mind.  I began to describe our very different and contrasting styles.  My friend (an ex-olympic rider) rides with a competitive, aggressive, forward striving 'kick on' and 'go about your business' style.  That's the 'Aghhhh factor'.  (Think growl as you say it).

In contrast, I'm all about the 'ahhhh' factor, (think fluffy kittens as you say it). I  savour the moments where I can just watch my horses graze or roll.  Taking dedicated 'chill time' together and not even noticing if I ride or not.

It's strange to realise that this  'ahhh' factor feels so right given that I too,  used to share the 'agghh' factor.   Its' also true these days that when I do reflect on my own transformation - I  hardly recognise myself.   At times like this I even wonder who I really am?  How can one person love such contrasting ways of 'being'? 

Given too, that in business, when administering personality assessments to Executives, I remark how 'personality doesn't really change' over time, then I can only conclude I'm a schizophrenic, split personality and general 'odd ball'.

Luckily for Essy, Solar and Grace, they haven't seen my most recent personality report! Nor will they as some things a girl just has to keep to herself!

- With thanks to a special little cherry-lipped inspiration under the Apple Tree! -

Hope Changes Everything

"Hope springs eternal in the human breast;

Man never is, but always to be blessed:

The soul, uneasy and confined from home,

Rests and expatiates in a life to come"

In my late teens I studied the works of Alexander Pope and his "Essay on Man" is very much at the forefront of my thoughts these days, in particular the concept of HOPE.

In business I 'expatiate' often with Executives to remind them that "hope is not a strategy" and that action is required to make things happen and achieve results. 

***

It was an ordinary workday night, in 2004, winter lay eagerly waiting outside and inside the Ballroom of the Dorchester Hotel 300 posh-frocked business men and women sat down for a banquet dinner.

I was there less for the dinner and more for the after dinner speak - Terry Waite.

I have long been fascinated by man's ability to live within his mind, when adversity and isolation are his only companion.  During the 1990's each day, month and year of normality that passed by for you and I, coincided with Terry Waite lying chained and blindfolded in a hell-hole of captivity.

His situation held a fascination for me then, as it does still today.  How can a person endure such loneliness, fear and loss of control and freedom?

In 2004, Several years on from his captivity I was to hear him recount first hand his experience and how he survived.  The answer; in a single word was his HOPE.  

I've never heard a room fall so silent in awe, fear and inspiration at one man's single achievement of emotional survival having only his freedom at the end to show for it.  Everyone realised that 'there for the grace of god go I'.... Many in the room were moved to tears with the enormity of his situation and the enduring power of HOPE.

If HOPE,  can endure 5 years of captivity - almost 4 of which were in isolation,  then how else can HOPE serve us and our lives?  What other manifestations of hope might be possible in every day life for every day people like you and I?

When Chris Day came to visit Essy and I in March this year, I will never forget the 'feeling' I was left with after his visit.  Utter relief; as if some invisible burden was lifted from my shoulders. I had no idea why.  Privately,  I felt uplifted by a small 'throw away' sentence he'd uttered during the consultation....that alongside homoeopathy "there are always miracles"! Did I dare to hope he was right?

I look back now and realise subconsciously how I latched onto those precious words like the last few drops of water in a desert.

I've been delaying writing this post today, nervous that I would somehow jinx Essy and the results I'm seeing since the homoeopathy, but it is time to put a written record out there, for any other horse and human who when they encounter the limits of veterinary medicine believe what they are told - that the end of the road might be close.

I want to once and for all correct such a limiting belief and remind us that horses, healing, the miracles of the universe and our under-utilised mental powers are still very much available if only we will believe.

To get to the crux, today is June 8th and Essy has not had a bleed since April 29th.  

What role has HOPE played in this process? I have no idea.  I know Ive had buckets of hope welling up inside me, over flowing with each single day that has passed free of bleeds.  Ive gradually begun to believe in these pills. I believe in the results in front of me.  I no longer walk up to him scanning his nose for signs of blood. I no longer ask every day, if anyone else on the yard has seen blood? Nor do I scrutinise the floor, stable door, or walls for signs of a bleed. 

Each day, I still can't quite believe it.  Two weeks ago I had a slight panic (as is my nature), thinking 'where is all that discharge going?'  Chris explained  that he "hopes it is simply ceasing to exist".

There you have it ..... one minute something exists, the next it doesn't. 

Like Terry Waite's freedom, like life in general (See Death in the air).  It's almost too simple to be credible.  But, the proof is in front of me each day.  Like problems of any kind, before they exist - they don't!  Once they've been resolved their gone again! Common colds come and go, debt builds and then gets cleared.  Rivers fill and drain. It's the natural cycle of life in so many ways.

I have been hoping and praying along with visualising that these clever sugar pills will do something miraculous that I have no comprehension about, and for once, I no longer feel I need to understand how or why!

I know others will hear what I heard from well scholared vets that there is nothing to be done!  No treatments are possible.   My advise is believe what YOU want to believe.  Trust in your horse and as Solar Sue said to Margrit Coates:

"DON'T GIVE UP ON US"

It's heartening to know that there are nearly always options; further paths to explore, wonders to be had, extremists, nutters, quacks, holistic approaches - call them what you will.  Our job as guardians of our horses surely is to keep hoping we'll find something.  To keep looking, searching, stay open minded and as I advise my corporate clients - "take action" +  HOPE!

Essy March 2014

Death in the Air

It was February 21st 2014, I was 32,000 feet up in the air comfortably cruising the long journey home from Asia. 

In Lower Early, Berkshire a friend's heart stopped beating.  At 41 years of age he died from a sudden heart attack.

It would be 3 weeks till I found out why, my website designer and developer was not replying to my emails. 

When I did find out it was one of those moments that puts your mind and body into complete 'pause'.  The shock, disbelief and realisation of life's frailty enveloped me.

For some strange reason today I woke up wondering what has happened to 'him'.  The rest of him.  The real him?

He was a man with immense creativity.  He took wonderful photographs displaying true genius behind the camera.  Where is his stock of images?  What happened to that asset?  How sad and what a waste that all those creative projects he was constantly working on, have also come to a pause.

The websites he managed and designed have been handed over to others.  The 'work' part of our lives is relatively easy to outsource, subcontract or dismiss.

What about the rest of who we are?  That sense of who we were  becoming before our untimely halt? Where do all our hopes, ambitions and work in progress  go - of course the answer is usually nowhere.  I know my poor husband would have no chance of managing my 23 blogs, many half written books and 'life journals' - I struggle myself some days.

Ive mentioned before how I worry a lot about life without Essy or Solar.  I know one day the inevitable is destined to happen.  Its a day and an 'after life' that I dread.  Life without them is unbearable to imagine. 

Yet this morning I had a fresh perspective in mind.  A perspective that says "thank god my horses are horses - simple and true".  Thank goodness remembering them will be uncluttered and uncomplicated.  Thank goodness they leave behind no 'half completed sides of themselves' - they are whole, every day, always 100% themselves, something that is easy to bask in and enjoy; for them and for me.

It may not be much to hold onto. I may have to remind myself of this perspective when one day, I realise my horses can't defy the inevitable no matter how hard I work at keeping them healthy, safe and very much alive.