I am borrowing these words from Dr Wayne Dyer who said ...
I wasn't entirely sure what he meant when I first read his words, so I bought the DVD, sat down with a strong cuppa and braced myself!
Half way through the DVD it struck me! "I saw the light" - or rather I heard a voice in my head giving myself a big old kick up the bum - a metaphorical slap around the face for being so blind. Not a very spiritual interpretation by me but then this post is not about religion, God, Alah or any other source of following. It is about believing in yourself and that it'll all be ok!
So, why did I watch this video? Was there a problem I needed a solution for?
I had just started riding Grace again, after 7 months of not - (long story why the time off). Just as I was back in the saddle, the lump she'd had for over a year by her girth had a growing spurt and was diagnosed as a sarcoid. Every horse owners dread!
Worse, it was now plum center under her girth area. Great!
The sarcoid has been frozen (twice) and so no riding as she was sore and twitchy there if touched!
The vet suggested I ride, so my only solution was bareback! Now where did that idea come from given I have to have my big brave Bridget Jones knickers on to rider her at all?
Given my track record with Grace, a few hairy falls, and noting her size and power, I was back faced with the prospect of no more riding till the sarcoid had shrunk, dropped off or miraculously vanished (assuming a miracle or two can be reeled in on demand the way Essy's lump fell off over night).
... "2 steps forwards; 1 step back"
Of course whether or not to ride was only the surface issue, it wasn't the real problem. It took another horse coming along for me to realise that...
Coco - a charming 6 year old dark bay thoroughbred was for sale. I'd ridden her and liked her. More importantly she and Grace were great field buddies, Grace's friendship towards little Coco had allowed the rest of the field herd to accept young Coco into the gang - albeit on condition she hung out only with Grace!
I spent a long weekend debating whether or not to buy Coco and welcome her officially into our herd. I was unexpectedly shocked by my own feelings of betrayal towards Grace as I conceptualised a summer of riding a horse I could actually wrap my legs around!
The strength of feeling of betrayal to Grace spurred me on to consider some questions about the real truth of my "on, off riding journey" with Grace.
The truth is Grace as a horse, is no different from the day I bought her, except a little larger and 4 years older. We actually share many similar character traits (not all of which are helpful) ...
"there is a spiritual solution to every problem"
I wasn't entirely sure what he meant when I first read his words, so I bought the DVD, sat down with a strong cuppa and braced myself!
Half way through the DVD it struck me! "I saw the light" - or rather I heard a voice in my head giving myself a big old kick up the bum - a metaphorical slap around the face for being so blind. Not a very spiritual interpretation by me but then this post is not about religion, God, Alah or any other source of following. It is about believing in yourself and that it'll all be ok!
So, why did I watch this video? Was there a problem I needed a solution for?
I had just started riding Grace again, after 7 months of not - (long story why the time off). Just as I was back in the saddle, the lump she'd had for over a year by her girth had a growing spurt and was diagnosed as a sarcoid. Every horse owners dread!
Worse, it was now plum center under her girth area. Great!
The sarcoid has been frozen (twice) and so no riding as she was sore and twitchy there if touched!
The vet suggested I ride, so my only solution was bareback! Now where did that idea come from given I have to have my big brave Bridget Jones knickers on to rider her at all?
Given my track record with Grace, a few hairy falls, and noting her size and power, I was back faced with the prospect of no more riding till the sarcoid had shrunk, dropped off or miraculously vanished (assuming a miracle or two can be reeled in on demand the way Essy's lump fell off over night).
... "2 steps forwards; 1 step back"
my mother always says, and at times I can see why!
Of course whether or not to ride was only the surface issue, it wasn't the real problem. It took another horse coming along for me to realise that...
Coco - a charming 6 year old dark bay thoroughbred was for sale. I'd ridden her and liked her. More importantly she and Grace were great field buddies, Grace's friendship towards little Coco had allowed the rest of the field herd to accept young Coco into the gang - albeit on condition she hung out only with Grace!
I spent a long weekend debating whether or not to buy Coco and welcome her officially into our herd. I was unexpectedly shocked by my own feelings of betrayal towards Grace as I conceptualised a summer of riding a horse I could actually wrap my legs around!
The strength of feeling of betrayal to Grace spurred me on to consider some questions about the real truth of my "on, off riding journey" with Grace.
The truth is Grace as a horse, is no different from the day I bought her, except a little larger and 4 years older. We actually share many similar character traits (not all of which are helpful) ...
impatience,
opinionated,
easily bored and distracted,
a need to feel safe,
dislike of pressure,
hatred of routine
need for a clear sense of purpose,
dislike of pressure,
hatred of routine
need for a clear sense of purpose,
a magnet for others who then won't leave your side!
.... i'll stop there for now!
What is different since I bought Grace is that I have realised I am not a good rider. I've realised I am boxing above my weight and am 'out-horsed' by Grace. However, that is an ego centric way to look at it. Its a perspective that when I wallow in leaves me feeling low in confidence which isn't helpful to either of us.
There is a helpful and intriguing alternative perspective which is to realise that maybe Grace and I are on a joint journey of self discovery and can help each other explore some emotions that otherwise might be left buried in the back of the stable.
Now I just have to figure out what those 'emotions' are - their significance to my riding and the person my horses continue to guide me towards becoming!
The moral of this story is more than looking for silver linings. It's about trusting that whatever path you are on, no matter how lumpy and bumpy it is, that it will be the right path! How we chose to look at that path and think about it will define what we encounter next and the experience we have with it.
I'm looking forward to putting my thoughts to the test back in the menage.
The moral of this story is more than looking for silver linings. It's about trusting that whatever path you are on, no matter how lumpy and bumpy it is, that it will be the right path! How we chose to look at that path and think about it will define what we encounter next and the experience we have with it.
I'm looking forward to putting my thoughts to the test back in the menage.
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