Ever wondered how people
can happily leave their horses in stables for most of
their lives and how quickly others start to copy?
They say ignorance is
bliss! This may explain why some “horsey
people” leave their horse caged up in small square boxes without space to
mobilise their large frames, without the company of other horses to physically
interact with, or with insufficient forage.
Some owners it seems simply don’t know any better! Is it really that simple?
You can dress it up however you want, but a large animal should not be caged up! I'm sure that's in part why Zoos have been losing their appeal over the years. We instinctively recognise it's unnatural, yet we can visit the zoo leave unhappy, go back to our yard and not realise we are guilty of the same offence! Weird right?
Sadly such deep seated ignorance is too commonplace in our so-called
civilized and intelligent 21st century society. It shows
up not just in a lack of knowing any better, but can be born out of our own actual character types/personality, or inherited myths passed on by those who don't know better.
We take on those myths as if they are factually correct and our horses welfare suffers. These myths even satisfy our personality needs. This is how it gets complicated. Now we can begin to see why and how it's such a deeply ingrained habit and why we don't realise we object about the same things that others do, without realising we are doing them ourselves. (ie. the Zoo analogy).
So actually for many 'horse lovers' and 'carers' we are already wired in such a way that it fuels our lack of thirst for knowledge and growth, by having other more important deeply seated needs. This drives our behaviour. This is what blind us.
What concerns me is that these myths can stick with us because they appeal to our ego. The Ego's role in life is to block us from seeing any wrong in what we do and how we behave. It blinds us to any other way of living (or caring for our horse). It will deafen us from hearing other possibilities and keep us hidden from meeting new people or coming across new ideas that challenge our thinking. The Ego needs to stay in control and it does this by sticking with what it knows!
The ego's job is to maintain the status quo - almost at all costs!
It provides a false sense of security.
There seem to be 3 common myths that show up as personality types, all of which lack up
to date knowledge about a horse’s basic needs, a cosmic sized lack of common
sense, and an unwillingness to question how they manage their horses lifestyle,
and most importantly....why!
Apart from that; nothing much to worry about (unless you are a horse and you belong to one of these myth holding characters)!
As we wake up we can begin to recognise the Ego at work in others by spotting these different types. If we don't wake up to the outdated nature of our approach to horses we remain like a cluster of mushrooms, trying to grow in the dark.
Have a look at the 3 myth carrying types of personality described below and see if you recognise any in yourself or others. If you do, don't worry... help is at hand!
3 Myth Carrying Character types:
Myth Carrier Type 1: The
“Smother Mother ” – often sweet enough and well
intentioned but clueless! These people remind
me of road users who dawdle at 30mph oblivious to the wake of disaster they
leave behind them.
For these women their horses fulfil an
unconscious deep need to be “mummy” - to be loved and have something to love
back. The horse becomes their surrogate
child in fur!
They believe their horse’s attention
towards them actually reflects a bond and affection. It doesn’t!
Often their horse’s isolation precludes it from the freedom of choosing its
companions and with whom to bond. The resulting bad behaviours - kicking out, wont' stand still, 'general noise' making tendencies are akin to those of a spoilt brat. (Not the horse's fault).
The owner (smother mother) becomes
the horse's only option for its frantic attention seeking behaviour, which is
not to be confused with a true bond, love or a happy well functioning horse.
Sadly, knowing their horse will be ‘looking out over the stable door for them', when they arrive at the yard each day, provides a temporary
satisfaction for their low self-esteem, unsatisfied childhood wants, and a desperate desire
to be needed.
Myth Carrier Type 2: The
“Abdicator” – tend to be owners who use
every excuse in the book to justify keeping their horse being locked up and take no
responsibility for the horse’s true needs!
They explain their actions hiding behind
stories of putting their horse’s safety first. They are full of stories about how turning their
horse out always results in injury.
They seem to ignore the fact that if you lock a child up in a bedroom day after
day, when they do eventually get out and head to the playground - they go berserk.
Don’t forget that every action has an equal
and opposite reaction. The more scarce
something is the more it is sought after! Again, a misplaced sense of 'doing good for the horse'.
Myth Carrier Type 3: The
“Easy Lifer” – people who have horses simply to
ride them and maybe compete. They treat the horse as if it is a machine and so looking after them just becomes a necessary evil!
These owners are motivated by convenience
and what is easy for the human!
They
often appear to know very little about the needs of a horse especially for a
healthy functioning horse; physically, emotionally, mentally.
These people can have
very low powers of observation about a horse’s health and behaviour. Rather ironic given 'athletic performance' is very much about all the details!
Their addiction to the horse fitting in
with their own lifestyle means they don’t turn out because they need their horse
handily stabled, like a chauffeur on standby, clean, tidy and ready to be
ridden.
Even stable management is all
about convenience. They still believe that hay nets are good, they constantly rug up, bandage legs, and feed at the same time each day. Habits that often are more about minimising human effort, inconvenience and disruption to the rest of their life, than horse welfare.
(See earlier post about our
quest for convenience)
All 3 myth carriers can be infectious! Approach with care! If you aren't awake and fully responsible for your horse you could end up copying any one of these types simply because it's what you see around you!
How could our 3 "myth carrying types" change?
Quickly, I hope!
All 3 types can change, if they want
to, and here’s a 5-step process that can help:
Step 1 "Wake up”!
To realize how little they think, question and reflect
upon what they actually know about horses/ horse care.
To consider when was the last time they read about horse care, went to a demo, seminar or course and actually learnt something new!
To read posts like this and notice your first reaction - if you poo poo it - consider why? Which part of you feels threatened - odds are it will be your Ego!
Step 2 : Coaching
To show people how to map out their beliefs about their horse, horse care and a
horses needs.
Reassessing which beliefs to keep and which to discard!
This will even include why you have a horse, why you ride, compete etc.
Dig Deep!
Step 3 : Honesty!
Giving people a way to discover why they have a horse, what
they get out of it and what needs they are trying to fulfil.
Then to look at the extent to which this is
actually being achieved and if not, why not.
How could keeping a horse be simple, cheaper and yet still be loyal to what a horse really needs for its well-being?
Step 4 : Look for Patterns!
Reflect on who you are when you are around your horse.
Who are you in other parts of your day/ life?
Which 'you' do you prefer and why? Actually think about what your horse can teach you about life, yourself, and horses.
Step 5 : Celebrate!
Throw yourself into uncertainty, risk, learning to build a new relationship
with your horse.
Don't follow a new route blindly and willingly, be discerning, be evaluative but open minded.
Actively think about how you will gather evidence that supports (or not) that your horse (and you) are better off, if you implement new ways of existing together.
Don't do it alone! Seek help. Reach out to others who have a different way or view point.
Remember a definition of insanity is:
“continuing to do what we’ve always done,
expecting a different result!"
Horse
owner’s stick to the traditions and habits of the past, like lemmings heading over
the cliff! Yet in today's world of heightened expectations and perceived 'less time' it makes no sense to stick with the past - we expect more from ourselves and from the world, so how can the 'old ways' bring new results?
Most of what we do with our horses originates
from the Military era yet how much of military life is still applicable elsewhere in our lives today? Not much! Consider how we run our households nowadays, how we manage family relationships, or work
colleagues? Its remit is almost non existent - based on outdated command and control principles that most of us rebuff and reject. It has been replaced by a high need for flexibility.
Maybe Generation Y the so called "rebels" against
command and control methods will be the new pioneers advancing our knowledge of
what horses really need.
I hope so, if the future of the Horse is truly to be one of Partnership not just Performance!
I leave you with this final thought to muse on when you next muck out....
"It's not what you DONT know that kills us - it's what we THINK we know that's NOT true!
Its the limits that we put on ourselves that we've been told,
about how things are supposed to be done!"
