Those "Madge" Moments we need to loose!

“As you think, so shall you become.” ~ Bruce Lee

I read today that Madonna fell backwards off a stage during a live performance this week.  After the initial shock of thinking how awful and how embarrassing, I found myself thinking " must look it up on you tube!"

Who am I to think like that?  I am presumably one of hundreds of thousand of others about to actively seek out someone else's drama and misfortune - don't I have enough of my own? 

I think most of us can think of a time when someone's misery helped us to feel better about ourselves or our own life.  This need for drama and problems is not a healthy way of life, let me explain why ...

Anyone who owns a pet small or large, knows of the fear of being away from home and have something happen to their beloved companion.  Not being able to get there, not being able to help or do much of anything at all can drive you slowly out of your mind and right off the idea of a holiday...

"Holiday!  Holiday! What holiday!  I'll spend the entire 2 weeks worrying; it'll be no rest for me"  (I have both felt this and said it, many times over).

Be careful what we say - 

The thoughts we hold onto and express 

 draw to us the very things we wish to avoid!

Until now, I've been lucky on holiday with no major dramas, although last year I did return at this time of year to a very underweight solar sue - I literally don't think she ate for two weeks (another story).

This year, on a new yard, before leaving my herd of horses the yard manager and I agreed once more the protocol - she'd send me lots of messages, updates and photos all courtesy of whats app, and in the event of a problem, I would receive a phone call.

Wednesday morning, day 4 of my 2 week holiday and I had been up since 6.30am writing my blog inspired once again after a small spell in the doldrums.

Life was feeling good! I was back on track....

Then, at lunchtime, a missed call from the yard!  I abseiled into full blown, heart pounding panic and hit 'redial' as fast as I was breathing.

It's good to hear the words "it's ok, don't panic"  (even though it was much too late for that),  but never good to be told one of your horses has jumped out of her field and galloped round the property and now isn't moving 'right'.

Your imagination takes over.  It took every strength of my being to try to sound calm and to pull together logical fact finding questions to understand what we were dealing with as a result.

It could have gone one of two ways:-

1) a broken leg, lots of cuts, bust tendon the works,

or,

2) No visible injuries -a lucky escape!

Grace had somehow managed to achieve choice number 2!  Thank you Grace, God, anyone and everyone! 

A dressage horse, without a blemish on her after taking on a wooden fence in my mind constitutes a miracle!  It was impressively fortunate yet that hadn't dawned on me yet!

Somehow she had managed to jump the fence line, come to a dead halt on landing, to avoid falling into an open ditch, then gallop (barefoot) around the property over tons of tarmac chippings recently laid for a new road way for the cars, before being caught!

Every inch of her had been thoroughly checked over.  She had received extra love and affection from the humans looking after her who described her as apparently 'quite pleased with herself'!

As a distant phone partner in the care of my herd we agreed some key steps for the next 24 hours:-

1. Offer her Comfrey and Devils Claw Root (for bruising and pain relief)

2. Place a bucket of Neroli oil outside her stable (as her leap of flight was prompted by Essy and Solar being brought in from the adjoining field,  so I assumed some separation anxiety might be going on)

3. Turn out for movement and relaxation - Chelsea suggested close to the house for safe watching

4. Body work - As Chelsea could feel a twinge in Grace's back on palpation she would book Ruth our massage queen for a few days time, to allow things to get slightly worse or to calm down

It didn't feel like a vet could be much help at this stage even though she was not 'moving right'.  We both suspected her feet are sore having jumped onto stones and uneven ground, and then galloped over rough terrain.  Again nothing that Kat the podiatrist could do at this stage either.

Time will be our best friend at this stage to assess progress - hopefully forwards.

I came off the phone feeling there was a clear plan in place.  Always my comfort blanket!  I also had another nagging thought to contact an animal communicator (more of that to follow).

Two hours after the call. I was heading for my first Reiki session of the holiday.  Interesting timing!

My walk to the pavilion was spent trying to list all the things to be grateful for in the circumstances:-

1. - Grace was ok
2. - No broken legs
3. - No blood, tears, injured knees or torn tendons
4. - No apparent stress on Grace's behalf after the event
5. - No other horse was involved or injured
6. - No one to blame (always a good thing as that can make life ugly)
7. - She is in great care and great hands
8. - I trust Chelsea's judgement 100% - I am a lucky lady!

On arriving at the Pavilion my stomach resembled a know of vipers and I felt no better despite my mental list of things to be grateful for.

I told Jean -Michel what had happened.  He listened.  He nodded.  He smiled then said:-

"you know sometimes we have to let go.... 

sometimes we have to accept, and this is your lesson now"

It's amazing how a few words spoken with such honest intention can calm a troubled body and mind - especially my mind - fluent in 'worry'.

In that  moment I felt I wanted to show my support and trust in Chelsea and to not pass the responsibility to her, but to let her know I was not going to try to interfere.  Ah the Art of Non Interference - there's a book in it's own right one day!  

Jean Michel's words resonated on another level as I found myself admitting that "sometimes I forget to be grateful and focus on problems and having them!" It's shocking to listen to your own words and realise I am a "drama junky!"  I had 8 good reasons NOT to panic, not to fill my body and mind with  this knot of negative emotion, yet still my focus was on the drama of not being there and not being able to 'fix' things and on the bad timing of the bad news.

The consequences of this simple unconscious choice were as follows:-

• I chose solitude, to be alone with my thoughts.  
• My husband had to endure the same and ate his lunch by the pool also alone.
• I went into self pity - "why now, why today, just when I was feeling inspired again?"
• My stomach was in physical knots
• I felt sick and couldn't think straight
• I got lost going in circles wondering why she would suddenly jump out of a field? 

and,

• I had an unpleasant and childlike need for everyone around me to 'know I had received back news' - I had turned into Mrs Victim!

Becareful where we chose to put our energy and our thoughts;

they will take us to many unforeseen places - some lacking in beauty!

What drives this need for drama? 

 

I wish I could say that I was able to see the funny or amusing side of Grace's adventures having heard she was after all, alive and relatively unharmed.

I can not take such credit! It seems I have not yet grown enough as a fully functioning adult; fully responsible for my emotions, to do so, but the journey I am on - thanks to my Horses - is hopefully revealing my development plan toute de suite!

I can say that over recent years the level of need I have for drama is less than it used to be - thank goodness!  That is evident in my life's good fortune and many blessings that surround me.  Yet still the need is clearly there  - lurking in the morning mist waiting to bury my resilience and obscure my faith.

It is this matter of FAITH that is fast becoming the focus of my thinking for Essy's Wishes - faith and miracles.  Lots of miracles!

Run for the hills!

In life we are all one

Life is no accident

Life is full of synchronicity

Life's coincidences are attention grabbers

Life's reality is exactly as you want it - warts and all

These may not be the most compelling or enticing sounding phrases. Or, they may fill you with reverie and joy.  It's a choice.  A choice born perhaps from understanding, or from connecting with a deep inner knowing.  When we hear the truth we know it!  We know not why or how...

If this is the first time you are coming across such statements and you are curious, open minded, not afraid by them or dismissive of them, they have connected with you at a soul level, to your unconscious which knows your intended path and life lessons.

Still not running for the hills?  Great, then let me try again....

Nothing is by chance.  

Your day to day experiences reflect your inner thoughts and feelings.

What you put out; you get back

Want change - then be that change first

Want feedback about your life - look around you; who and what do you see

Held back by old beliefs that don't serve you well; change them TODAY!

 Where is this heading?

Two days ago, I told my husband I was lost with my blog Essy's Wishes.  I no longer heard the voice in my head spurring me on, filling me with content.  Things have been eerily quiet for 4 or 5 months.

One day later; yesterday, and a wise teacher and friend I have not seen for 5 months, mentioned that he had looked at my blog just 3 weeks ago. He then stated very simply that it was time for me to step it up a bit (my words not his).  He spoke of the time being right for me to be more "expressive" and to speak "from the heart".  He said it was time to connect other things in my life that are all connected and to share the miracles I've witnessed; horse and human. 

It is time to widen the agenda and in doing so to connect with new people and lose connection with others.  That is the big picture.  That is the landscape.  In changing the landscape when we can stand back from it, we experience faith.

I have been lacking in faith in human beings and our compassion (or lack of) for some time now, it's felt big and ugly and overwhelming. 

So, as life would have it and as the statements above suggest, there are no accidents or coincidences; everything is by design, our own creation and it's time to share  that in glorious technicolour.

....."when the pupil is ready the teacher will appear"

24 short hours and synchronicity is at work, and my teacher's words are well received by me, and I hope by you.

I have thanked my angels accordingly!  (Now you're running right....!)

New Years Resolutions be Gone - New You, On it's way!

Rumour has it that by now, early February most of us have abandoned our New Year Resolutions aimed at creating a "new me".

Worry not!  There is more than one way to a better you!

Meta physicians award each year with a theme.  These themes relate to a massive spiritual, emotional, and physical transition that the world is going through, driven in large by us humans!

The theme for 2015 is Remembrance meaning remembering!

2015 is about defining the year and defining the future, and ourselves along the way!

Sometimes I think that many humans have horses (or spend time with them) to help us find ourselves - past or present!   They bring out in us buried feelings of loneliness, anger, despair, hope and happiness. 

The meta physicians will tell us that the important elements of 2015 includes:-

-  revitalising

-  respecting

-  re-discovering and,

-  renewing

Horses, I believe, if we are open to the notion, can help us connect with each of the elements important for this year.  Horses not our shrinks, convenience stores or pharmaceutical drugs can put the disparate pieces of our lives ,and who we truly are, back together again. 

Wouldn't it be a wonderful new BHS code for us all to follow in our dealings with horses if we acknowledged how much they have to offer us for our future well being?

Revitalise: Have you ever noticed how much horses revitalise our spirit, our senses and our energy?

Respect: What if we truly acted towards horses with respect - focusing on their needs and rights, in how we care for them and hopefully keep them for life?

Re-discover: Business ventures have been born out of merging the world of healing and leadership development through interaction with horses.  In summary, such interventions enable dysfunctional adolescents and wayward Executives to re-discover themselves with a view to making personal change.

Renewing: Every hour spent with a horse is a renewal process with no end in sight.  No matter how tired, stressed, physically aching or mentally distracted I am; time spent with my herd always releases a new and improved me! 

Now that's a code to live life by!

In my work with riders I always start by asking them to remember why they ride as it will influence the things we set in motion.  It empowers us.  It is fuel for our imagination, it takes us back to our childhood or latterly explored need for freedom. 

Remembering tones our gratitude like a muscle! Horses help us come home to ourselves, remembering who we truly are, which helps us become more of whom we want to become!

Before we get "there" we often have to wade through our past - namely our memories (real or distorted) - and this can feel like crawling through mud!  Yet, crawl we must in order to seek the prize called clarity.  To be stronger in ourselves and have the courage of our convictions, we have to be able to free up our passions and that again, can have it's origins in our past.

Mud + Clarity + Passion = Stronger us!

In an earlier post I mused (briefly) on the notion of a world without horses.  In an even earlier post than that, I wrote about a small herd of abandoned ponies close to my home.  Both posts raise questions of commitment and determination.  Where have such qualities gone?  Do we have enough of either, anymore? 

When we abandon or sell our horses because we can't handle them or they can't give us what we want - do we have the resolve to persist?  How do you know your vision of 'moving on' and 'passing him/her on' is the right one?

I ask this because time after time I see riders sell a 'problem horse', acquire another blemish free one in it's place only to find that 6 months later the perfect horse has developed into another 'problem horse'.  We will only find a true fix to this dilemma, when we develop a real desire to unravel the current reality we experience with horses or with fellow humans.

Horse selling is too often nothing more than an optimistic hope - whimsical and lacking substance. A desperate hope by its last resort nature is always weak hope.

What's the root cause of our false hope?  Often it's lack of trust - in ourselves and others. What gets in the way of us developing that trust includes impatience! We want things to work quickly, change must happen now which demands action - often without thought or depth of understanding behind them.

I have come to believe that horses, other animals and nature in general all help us to rediscover trust and encourage us to remember a time when the world was more simple!

Time spent with horses and nature is how we will find the space we need for our own recovery.  

As well as being a year about remembrance and remembering, it is also a year with an '8' vibration - meaning 'as above so below' - The symbolism of 8 is to balance the material and immaterial worlds.

The year is as spiritual as it is materialistic. Horses at the heart of our lives will play a central role (if we let them) to shake us out of materialism and into our full spiritual selves!

The spiritual side of the 8 is practical, realistic and intelligent - sounds like the nature and true spirit of The Horse, doesn't it?

Will you make 2015 a year to be remembered?

 

Let's make it an incredible year well worth remembering in years to come, for us and our horses!