Let Food (or Parelli) Be Your Medicine said Hippocrates!

Last night I was asked "If I miss riding" (given that Essy and Solar Sue are retired and Grace is currently not in work).

I thought for a second then realised that actually "no; I don't'!

I do miss playing polo.  I miss some aspects of riding such as the thrill of speed and power, and I do miss looking forward to riding, but because I expect to be riding again, I've not considered 'not riding', until tonight. 

So what is my 'food' equivalent for my well being if I'm not riding? If we aren't riding our horses what's the point of having them?

Truth is I'm having a blast just enjoying spending time with them, observing them,  'being' with them,  sitting in the field with them, watching them graze, learning Parelli, practising 'in-hand' and letting them self select their herbs.

Honestly I don't know how I ever found the time to ride in the first place!

My summer has been full of 'mental and soul food' : I've had new horizons and learning opportunities open up for me, including Animal communicators, Herbalists, Homoeopathic Vets and inspiring women saving Pandas, Lions and Whales.

I've been on courses that have expanded my awareness into all sorts of new directions that are nurturing this blog. I've been joined by a new found interest in horses from my elderly mum, and we've been on walks with the horses exploring the property.

My knowledge of food as a medicine for my horses has come on leaps and bounds after time spent with James Hart: a wonderful man whose career is a work of art for horse health and well being.  What he doesn't know about herbs isn't worth a bird song.

A day spent brewing herbs in neat Gin really was my idea of  'navana'!

As an example, I learned....

1. Ginger has over 500 compounds in it - so much diversity that it's resistance free
2. St John's Wort is prescribed 10 x more in Germany than Prozac as an anti-depressant
3. Nettles prevent kidney stones
4. Ragwort is a bi-annual so once it flowers and dies it's done
5. Comfrey is superior to diclofenac in studies conducted in 2007
6. Valerian is FEI banned because it works as a calmer
7. Products with extract ratios higher than 1:10 is a waste of money
8. Neem Oil and Wormwood are great for Fly control
9. Raw cabbage (not red) is great for ulcers
10. Nettles have higher Vit C level than any other fruit
11. Calendular Macerate prevents proud flesh (testing this out with Essy's head wound now)

Instead of riding, time spent hand grazing Essy for 2 hours a day has given me plenty of thinking and observation time.  It's been a tonic to have the chance to watch the clouds roll by;  a murder of crows pick at a field; rabbits scampering around and Red Kites call as they soar above. 

I've read books while we graze and composed blogs in my head. I've noticed Plantain now growing in the fields, and noted which of my horses savours which parts of a thistle plant.

As Pat Parelli says "the best place to develop a relationship with a horse is on the ground".  That's lucky for me right now!  He also says "Relationships first".

There are days where I feel my ridden work has for sure gone forwards one step and backwards 3 steps! But our relationships the four of us, and the three of my horses together, has grown notably.

If I am to put principles into practise that resonate like the Parelli "Good, Better, Best, never let it rest" concept, then I'm reminded that where we are today is heading towards a better place, right before the best of places, and once we're there there, they'll be another level to start us off again.

Today, Grace couldn't maintain mental stability in her circle pattern work on a long line. Whether or not I miss riding; I'm not going to get on her when something or nothing sets her off and both front feet go vertical into the air.  Control over my horse's feet is important to me before riding Grace again.

The pair of us need to get our act together if we are to be partners when I'm in the saddle.  Grace chooses when to pay attention. I drive my car drifting in and out of attention! Neither of us have our mental game together yet.  Time is the one thing that I want to use to our advantage so that we can come to understand each other better and both grow smarter along the way.

The food that I want to be my medicine is that in whatever my horses and I do, that my horses get all the credit and none of the blame and we all have fun in the process!

Back to Basics!

"We want an Essy Grandma!"

Since the arrival of my elderly mum onto the yard to keep Essy company while on box rest, we've all had a bit of a reminder of how easy it is to take things for granted about your horse and what he /s he offers you, especially the simple things.

If we are honest, most of us no longer feel joy and delight in the simple pleasures of our horse doing as we ask in hand, or around the stable - we just take it for granted and expect it.  Last night, watching my mum revel in the fact that Solar Sue walked backwards when I showed her how to ask for it - was both humbling and heart warming. 

 

As a 76 year old who has never before lead a horse, never mind put on its 'collar' - the last three weeks have been a revelation for anyone watching from the side lines.

I've had comments made to me about "how quiet my mum is with Essy" and how "gentle" and how "sweet to watch it is".  Comments like this remind me how rough, tough, boisterous and noisy we can be around horses - out of habit, our need for speed, or simply having an agenda to achieve.

Horse and Hound this week had a piece on the Equine sound system - "horses can hear commands spoken at low volume" does my mum know that already and it's only the horsey set that don't?

"Essy's Grandma visits" as they've become known have seen her sit with him outside his stable for up to 4 hours at a time, just "chatting"!   She gives his head a cool sponge down, offers him essential oils to smell, (noting down which he responds to).   She's now taken to leading him round the yard, to the front gate and back. Amazingly he behaviours superbly well!  Like all grandma's her handbag is packed with treats: carrot Julienne, Waitrose prunes, organic apple quarters and Johnsons wet wipes!

...She is religious at capturing the start of a runny nose! 

So it's become very obvious that sometimes our own learning and awareness is heightened by the actions of a 'newcomer' who go about 'being with horses', in a very different way!

Last night I caught myself brushing Grace's long thick mane.  I realised if this was my own head of hair no way would I be this rough.  I didn't mean to be rough.  It certainly isn't how my old mum would brush it though!  So, it seems I'm learning from a total novice how to 'be' with a horse in a way that is more in keeping with what Essy's teachings are about: 

• awareness
• softness
• healing touch
• peace

If horses are here to bring us peace its going to be hard for us to recognise that in amongst our noise and no nonsense way of doing stuff!

Watching Essy and my mum interact is an absolute joy.  They both seem to be exploring boundaries without a single moment of anxt, pressure, power, force or anger.  

There is a huge absence of expectation!

There is a peaceful quietness to their time together.

Essy continues to find new ways to teach me how to 'wake up' and be more 'aware' of what horses respond to, and how without appreciating the basics our horse offers us, it will be hard to move forward.
 
I watch with admiration and intrigue as their journey unfolds,  thrilled to be a part of it and learning vicariously as we go!

Now if only I could get her into some 'sensible', horse appropriate shoes!

P.S. to what we resist....

I'm pleased to report that I have made it beyond ten hours in my new way of being: CHOOSING  when to worry and when not to!

The result of this morning's 'worry free moment' felt worthy of a quick note to boost self confidence for all of us trying to grow in awareness and make personal change happen....

While hand grazing, Essy and the same horse from earlier this week, wanted to sniff again, over the paddock fence. This time I stood back, loose lead rope and let it happen, feeling calm and relaxed. 

Nothing untoward happened :)

Interestingly after about 5 seconds Essy moved away anyway- so what did I have to worry about after all?!

Later on, the other horse approached us again so I 'kept out of their way, and my own'.

They spent longer sniffing than before and then the other horse offered to scratch Essy's withers!  Such a natural, uncomplicated and loving act, yet this wonderful horse 'grooming gift' would have been missed by all 3 of us if I'd worried and pulled Essy away as before.

If there are rewards for choosing the right course of action, this felt like positive payback for sure!

It is a small step, but every destination is reached by taking a series of small steps, one after another.

Say GOODBYE to my worry head days!

What we resist; persists!

Whether you've come across this expression before or not, when we hear it there is a certain resonance to it - it makes intuitive sense!

What we resist; persists!

If we resist being honest and don't have those 'needed but difficult' conversations in our relationships at home, the need to do so increases.  If at work we continue to 'make do' instead of following our dream job and doing work that we love, our dissatisfaction grows.  Jealousy of others for 'having it easy', 'having fun' 'having plenty'- whatever it might be that makes us resent or judge them, will only compound our own harsh self judgement into more feelings of being useless, worthless, or not good enough.

Today's wake up call was about worry!  I worry - a lot!  

I was grazing Essy. He wanted to approach another horse to say 'hello'. Immediately I braced.  Would they squeal? Would one of them kick out and get hurt? If anything got out of hand would I be able to control the situation? 

They sniffed politely and silently yet still I had to pull Essy away after only seconds, fearful that something could happen.  As I did I found myself apologising to him for being such a kill joy!  That was when I realised that I go through life with a permanent 'worry switch' set to ON, even when I'm chilling out with my horse!

For the first time I began to wonder if worrying so much was normal?  Why did I do it? What did I get out of it?  Where did it come from, and can I stop?  Then I realised this is what I'm always nagging a loved one to STOP doing!  Ouch!

I've been resisting looking at why I worry; as a result I'm awash in it! 

They say "ignorance is bliss!" They may be right! Take for example (and I mean this nicely) - my mum who aged 76, on Sunday lead a horse (Essy) for the first time in her life.  She did it beautifully!  She never stopped chatting to him!  She had no knowledge of the speed with which a horse can spook, take flight, turn on a sixpence, race forwards, pull backwards, dislocate your shoulder or break your fingers in an instant.... which was probably a good thing,  but you can imagine my level of angst on her behalf!

Today, I overheard myself telling a friend on the phone that I've had to call the vet over 13 times year to date!  Why so many issues she asked? Apart from he fact my vet looks like Alfie Boe, I drew a blank -  I had to stop and think!

It seems that until I faced the fact that this level of reason to worry isn't normal, I'd not thought to question it. Worrying has always been at my side - a faithful companion through life: school, exams, work, promotions, moving abroad, public speaking, marriage, becoming a step mum, getting older, etc.

If the line "be careful what you wish for" holds true, then I've given myself exactly what I want in life by having 3 horses.... 3 times the amount of stuff to go wrong and plenty of opportunity to worry. Surely I should be happy in my guaranteed world of worry!

Yet, my recent and sudden jumping lesson has reminded me that being with horses is about fun. Its reminded me what it's like to ride bare back through a river in the fresh summer evening air. Today's realisation has shown me what I now need to work on if I'm to have more fun - i.e. worry less!

As is often the case when we want to grow and be more aware, we first have to learn how to get out of our own way.

Tonight I didn't go to see my horses after work, knowing that my dogs needed my time and attention and that I wanted to write this blog. Amazingly I am doing OK.  The world hasn't imploded.  I don't like missing a night of seeing them and being with them, but I don't feel anxious.  What's changed? One thing: instead of assuming worrying is normal, Ive asked myself " do I need to worry about this, now?"

It seems that just by being aware that I don't HAVE to worry, is liberating me from it.

Worry is a choice, and choices need conscious decisions.  Ill not pretend I don't worry. I'll not avoid it or deny it.  I'll not talk myself into thinking more positively instead. I will however,  chose when I do and don't need to worry.  That way I can be more aware and conscious of how much worry I let into my day instead of being force fed it like a goose for his liver!

I'm only 10 hours in but so far so good!  Long may it last...

Mood Enhancer - free of charge!

Aren't fields pretty?

No wonder our horses don't seem to suffer from bad moods: surrounded by fresh air, greenery, rolling clouds, ever changing light and all the gifts of nature: rainbows, raindrops and roaring winds.

How much more at peace might we be if we didn't fight traffic jams, sitting in our metal vehicles; live in houses with doors and windows tightly shut against fresh air and weather; if we didn't work in toxic offices, full of harmful computer waves, endless chatter and ringing phones - often bare of natural light?

It's not hard to realise how our 'chi' or life force begins to get zapped.

As a friend and I walked back from the field last week we both wondered how it would feel to be a horse?  She felt it must be wonderful - to have your favourite foods all around you wherever you walk: literally up to your ears in food! We imagined a world full of chocolate 'to go' on tap!

I can't imagine how it feels to have to lift your head up high to take view of the sky.  How it must feel to smell fear in the air. To know when the weather is about to change with more accuracy than any fancy meteorological equipment can do.  To read the energy and intention of another species. To be silent, rarely making a sound yet constantly communicating using space and boundaries.

It's a different world from ours.  It's this difference that can hold such appeal, often acting as a needed 'pick me up'.  I was reminded of the power nature can have and the contrast our lives often deliver when a lady I recently worked with explained she rides at 'silly o'clock' each morning so that her horse gets the 'best of her' - early in the day.  How sad for us that as the day wears on, it wears away the best of who we are.  How great that she gives her horse her 'personal best' time but what can we do to stay better connected to our true, whole selves, despite what the day throws at us?

Perhaps next time when we are tempted to reach for a 'glass of something', a quick slice of retail therapy or carrot cake to erase the worst of the day, we take a quick trip to the field instead.

As a mood enhancer it does have the benefit of being both cheaper, and better on the hips!

Enough is Enough or Dont Give Up?

I was enjoying my riding lessons ... until last night!

So what do you do when neither you nor the horse are enjoying yourselves?  Stop, take stock, think through the options and 'get off', or 'kick on'?

Last night - I got off!

I'd arrived on time, handed over my hard earned cash, collected my steed - so far so good.  On leading " Mable " to the menage I suspected a problem when she stopped dead in her tracks and refused to budge.  As I stood there feeling a bit of a burk (in front of a small crowd of onlookers) and trying to think through how I was going to get her to move I had a flash back to riding the donkeys on Blackpool beach as a little girl.  The hardest part was not stopping them, but getting them to move in the first place!

Eventually Mable decided to move her well planted feet and we arrived at the menage.  

I mounted and asked her to walk forwards.  After less than 2 laps of the school in walk I spoke aloud that " I don't think this horse wants to be in here, doing this" - here was a horse that didn't want to put one hoof in front of the other!

The trainer informed me that Mable was 7, and was currently in re-schooling'. 

I asked "Why?" 

I was told that she isn't very forward going.  No shit batman!

Less than 8 minutes into the lesson, I was being told id have to administer a "pony club style kick", and to give her a "good smack with the whip".

This was one of those "moments of truth" that marketing consultants talk about... where the customer has a choice to buy a merchants service or product, or not.  It only took a second for me to reply that I was NOT going to administer a pony club style 'boot' as it was her ribs i'd be kicking.  I'm not willing to do that, I told her that's "just not me".

I decided to give her one smack with the whip.  Her reaction prompted my next decision. She didn't buck or rear or spin.  She simply signaled her clear unhappiness by pinning  her ears back, twisting her neck and humping her back. Enough for me to know this horse didn't want to work. She didn't want to please me or respect me or obey me.  She didn't seem to want to know.  Not that I could blame her - who was I to her?  I'd only just appeared in her life, got on her back and started making requests of her.

For a further lap of the school I found myself thinking weird stuff like "don't give up Deb" and "think your way through this" and "you can ride her, just persist".  With each thought followed another contradictory thought saying "enough is enough"!

I turned into the center of the school and told the trainer "we were done."

It did and yet didn't seem like a big deal at the time.  Big- because we were less than 10 minutes into the lesson.  Big; because of the shocked look on her face.  Not big - because neither the horse nor I were enjoying ourselves. If it isn't enjoyable for either of us why would we carry on?

In those few moments, I realised that as a rider we always have choice.  If we are present and in the moment we can chose for ourselves the right course of action and as long as we are willing to be wrong in the pursuit of what is right, we'll be fine.

Deciding to stop the lesson and dismount will appear wrong to many horsemen and women. Attitudes and beliefs about "not letting her get away with that" will no doubt come to mind. I thought it myself (briefly).  But the thought didn't resonate with me for long, didn't feel like me because the truth is that it isn't how I think.  I didn't own it.  These sort of thoughts are the thoughts and sayings donated to me by others in the horse world, passed on over the years. They don't express my attitude or my beliefs. To me, a horse so unwilling to go forward needs help and understanding.  I'd rather teach her that humans can offer compassion, versus teaching her who is the boss.

My final words to the trainer were simply that " I'm not that kind of person, and I don't want to ride a horse with kicks and whips, that's not why I ride"

When I took Mable back to her stable.  I was overwhelmed by a deep feeling of sadness. Once in her stable alone with her, I cried.  I couldn't hold back the tears.  I wasn't even sure why.

Was I picking up on her sadness? Was I crying for all the horses who are repeatedly kicked in the ribs, or whipped to conform? Or was I crying with the realisation that it would have been so easy to follow the trainers instructions and take no responsibility for my own actions.  I would have regretted that but it would have been easy to do, because "kick her" and "make her do..."  is so often the expected thing to do.

It dawned on me that if you know what your intention towards horses are; know why you ride, and what are your limits and boundaries, then I think it makes it compelling and easy to do the right thing for you and the horse, in each moment. 

As our horses would say, "what other moment is there anyway, other than the one we are in right now?" So why not do whatever you can to enjoy it, and let go of 'agenda' or the need to achieve a certain outcome?

A face full of TRUST and thanks

Monday morning and I asked Essy to walk up the ramp of a horsebox.  A task Ive not asked him to do in 3. 5 years.  The horsebox wasn't ours.  He walked straight up, first time.

Having been retired for over a year now, out of work, his decline in muscle tone meant his one hour journey in 30 degrees morning heat, was tough.   His chest, abdominal and back muscles clinched, stretched and strained.

At noon, with the sun high in the sky we arrived and unloaded at an Equine Hospital.

Long story short, 4.5 hours later he was awake enough from his operation to travel home.   Bandaged up like a little soldier. He might of been ready but the duty of care and responsibility I felt was so huge I wasn't sure I was!

He'd just had a hole drilled into his head, above his left eye.  He'd been heavily sedated.  It was hot and we had the same journey home ahead of us, only now in commuter traffic.  My main concern was firstly would he re-load and secondly would he have the strength (after sedation) to hold himself up to do the journey, for a second time?  Compound this with what I could only imagine was the headache of all headaches.

Just after 5pm we made it!  Home!  Having ridden in the back with him, Ive never been more grateful to get somewhere all in one piece, without incident.

Now the wait begins for the results of the biopsy.  Now the care begins to ensure bandages stay in place and the wound kept clean.

At home he had an hour to chill in his stable.  We then had a bath, I massaged his tired hamstrings, did some tail releases (very tense) and finished the day with some essential oils for emotional re-balancing.

Only job remaining was to 'pad' his stable as his new past time seemed to be trying to remove the bandage and scratch the front of his head!  Many thanks to a fellow livery for suggesting rolled up towels.  It's worked like a treat.

Horses never cease to amaze me.

The trust Essy put in himself, and in me, both in the journey to hospital, and back again, can not be measured.  It's immense.  I think often we ignore these moments, just taking it for granted that most horses load and travel.   When you know your horse is not 'travel fit' and yet still he follows you up and down the ramp - after having a hole drilled into his head, on the hottest day of the year, surely that must be savored and not ignored.  Surely that is one way of measuring trust?

I for one, am very thankful.