Even the obvious - isn't always clear!

When Essy started to lick Margrit's hands at the end of his healing with her, it was a huge emotional moment for me.  It was such a shock to see him licking her hands and with such gusto that I assumed it was a relaxation response to the healing, or maybe even a sign of affection towards her.  Much like a dog licks our face.

It is only now some weeks later, having caught back up with Margrit and seen her recent article (see link below), that Ive had my eyes opened yet again!

Essy was Margrit's first animal consultation since she had an operation on her hand. Bandages had recently been removed and she was undergoing physio.  As her article explains Essy sensed the pain in her hand and the licking was his way of adding to her healing process.  "You scratch my back and ill scratch yours" kind of a thing!

Isn't it wonderful to think that horses and humans can be so in tune and so loving towards each other - without force or training?  I can't help but wonder what else awaits us in our relationship with our horses?  How else could it be? The possibilities seem endless if we just keep our minds open and avoid reaching hasty conclusions based on our current mind set and myths.  My hasty conclusion about his licking being a response to the healing has had me offering my hands daily to him in the hope he would lick me too.  Perhaps if I injure myself i the future he'll lick me too.  Until then I have no need to feel disappointed or left out.  Thank you Essy and Margrit. 

http://www.joomag.com/magazine/international-lifestyle-magazine-issue-45/0781124001363114766

(Margrit's article starts on page 20)

Connecting With Horses - A one day course

Thursday March 14th  I joined 9 other men and women all keen to work with Margrit Coates for the day.  The subject of our gathering was 'connecting with horses'.

The day started without the usual fanfare of introductions and sharing objectives for being there.  Our first task was to write down our achievements and qualifications with horses.  Facing a blank piece of paper, and the memory of 38 years of my life with horses, I was unfathomably still.  Nothing came to mind.  Images of rosettes; horse exams passed; courses attended; ridden, in hand and natural horsemanship lessons;  falling off and re-mounting - all seemed inconsequential.  

The only things I could come up with included seeing my horses every day and following my instincts when I'm around them.  Glancing around the room others were deep in thought too.

Lists completed, Margrit removed (with our permission) our lists saying that what we'd written was not 'who we are' as people.  Removing the lists symbolised leaving our old known selves behind opening up a new space of possibility for the day, a space in which we could experience the horses, each other and ourselves.

In conversation we discussed a number of problems facing horse and human partnerships today including a lack of inner stillness which disconnects us from our horses. Instead of being still our minds are 'full' of stuff; to do's; and old thoughts (memories) playing out through today's emotions.  Busy minds rarely stop to think about who we are and find it even harder to ponder who our horses are!

Can we really get to know our horse when we hide from ourselves? Today would be an opportunity to be ourselves either for the first time or for the first time, in a long time! We would have time to observe the horses and to listen with our heart, soul and intuition.

Early on we entered the indoor school as a group to join four horses, at liberty. Our task was to observe. It was a perfect lesson in tuning into energy, observing collective behaviour and how two groups size each other up like street gangs without a shared vocabulary to communicate with.

The more we watched, the more the horses just looked back at us. Some of us got headaches, others sensed changes in energy.  Horses were curious and inquisitive about us, and some stayed close to the herd.  They all had choice. Intermittently they grouped silently together around the gate, or around a strip of sunlight pouring through a gap in the wall.  After about 25 minutes horses and humans stood together as one combined herd. The sun poured in. The school filled with silence.  In the stillness we had found a common language.  Everyone was moved.

During the afternoon we worked one on one with a horse or horses of our choice, all of whom were at liberty in 25 acres of pasture.  We focused on tuning into their 'voice' and to listen for feedback. Everyone participated with eagerness and gentleness - keen to learn from the experience. That is until our egos arrived and gave us cause to doubt the validity of what we heard. It seems that unless we are analysing and interpreting out thoughts and senses - we don't believe it's real.  In this 'state' our minds will surely never expand or experience the bliss a deep connection has to offer.  Easy to say but not easy to master!

What did I learn from the day? That wisdom rarely comes from our thoughts, instead the deep connection we seek comes from simple acts of giving someone/thing your full attention in the present moment. To not define life by believing in just our thoughts but to move beyond thoughts by doing less!  

It was strange to have spent a day 'doing' relatively very little yet be left feeling utterly exhausted at the end of it!  The gift Margrit gave us was not about teachings or parables but about nature and the source of knowledge it has to offer us.  Horses were our teachers that day - naturals at being themselves something we humans find so hard to do and perhaps even forget to aspire to be.

Thank you to the Horses, to Poppy the Shetland pony, to Jody and Lead Change, to Margrit and to everyone who made the day welcoming and warm.  Below are sketches of the voices and energy sources I experienced - primitive I know but I'm knew to this so be kind!

What do Horses Want?

I'm not sure many of us stop to consider this question from the view point of the horse.  I have been guilty of asking 'what can I give' my horses, but not what do they actually need?

If we stop to think about it from the horse's perspective then just using common sense alone, it is unlikely we would come up with needs such as; being ridden and competed, being stabled for hours, being driven around in motorized 'cupboards', turned out alone or spending many stabled hours without access to food and mobility.

There are horses who serve Queen and Country for their lifetime who have even less: who are stalled 24 hours a day with their head tied to a brick wall, standing on concrete, approached always from behind and unable to turn or lie down. To think we are a nation sympathetic to our animals and their welfare is at times nothing short of a big fat lie.

Sadly, much of what we offer our horses falls short of what they would wish for themselves.  If you don't believe this just ask a non-horsey person what they suppose a horse would enjoy as a lifestyle!

Now is the time to be honest about the way we keep our horses - if not now then when? To help us, Essy spelled out what horses everywhere need:-

Essy's direction to help humans give horses more of what they want... 

1. Important Relationships: People should understand the important relationship foals have with their mares and other horses and stop interfering with it and cutting important relationships short

2. Healing touch is peace: Humans have a gap in their awareness of understanding horses. People aren't listening: People need to move away from agendas with their horses, to listen instead. Listening is reality: peace is reality

3. Horses see the future: Horses know what it is people do, think and feel. There are no secrets.

4. Horses want to be free: Free from slavery, from over work, from the wrong sort of work, from being without their friends, free from pain, domination, and bullying

5. Partnership: Horses will be our partners but in a different way with equality and respect not systems and methods

So now the hard part is done, the question remains "are we listening"?  Will we honour these requests now that we have them?  Do we know how to let go of our own equestrian agendas to become more of the loving guardian that sleeps inside?   Who will support us? Institutes steeped in old fashioned myths about 'how to keep horses' seem to be the most deaf.  Leaving us to question can ordinary horse folk wake up a consciousness in others that is based on common sense and empathy versus qualifications and exam passing?

In our important human to human relationships most of us don't ask often enough "what do you need?" from one another.  Imagine the sense of responsibility if we did!  Worse yet is the breach of trust that would be felt if we didn't at least try to deliver it when we did ask. 

At the end of the day, If it's a hard message to hear isn't it better to hear it sooner versus later when we still have a chance  to do something about it now, and change the myths for the future?

My new mindset, now that Ive 'heard' is to do everything I can to be sure that when I retire from my years of being with horses I'll have no regrets and will have helped others to feel the same way!

(Find out more about Essy's wishes on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGSRDSFvjGM&list=PLuWEKuyqZzRzej4ACWTe489ivCdoVY3Jh&index=8)

If A Horse Could Hug A Human...

Since Essy's meeting with Margrit my mind is full of  questions; what does the touch of a human hand feel like to a horse?

I would like to know exactly how would Essy like to be touched?  How does any horse or domestic pet wish us to do this? Softly? Firmly? Is it even necessary to touch at all?

What must it feel like to be touched (as an animal), by a human?  Does the sensation differ depending on who is doing the touching?  What impact does our mood have?  Does touch calm and reward the horse, dog or cat?  We know the healing power on humans of touching pets (as used in care homes and hospitals) but does it have the same affect in return?

I have been exploring the notion of touch since attending an Aikido course in December 2012,  with Mark Rashid.  Mark has been practising Aikido for over 20 years and has discovered that some of the principles and ethos of this martial art align with his ideals about good horsemanship.  The purpose of the 3 day workshop was to give us a flavour of Aikido so that it might help to improve our horsemanship skills.

It was evident during the workshop that although Mark enjoyed my stream of questions, he had found in me a person with a long journey ahead of her when it came to understanding 'softness'.  Most of what I do in daily life is at speed, with purpose, intention and against the clock!  None of which I'm feeling proud of as I write.

To help the group discover more about our own sense of "feel" and understanding of "energy" (both so closely associated with the language of the horse) he had us work in two's practising a number of physical movements.  Each movement was focused on trying to influence the position and location of our partner.   With time we learnt to refine our 'ask' until finally it seemed we were influencing movement by simply thought alone!

We left that weekend emotionally stretched, drained and stimulated by the realisation of how much could be achieved through softness versus strength. It was inspiring to consider how easy it might be to influence the movement of our horses now,  knowing how superior their sense of awareness to softness and energy already is!

When it comes to 'how much touch' is the right amount for our horses?  I am sensing that most of the time, we are metaphorically whacking our loved ones with a thunder bolt of energy due to our lack of conscious softness, to an animal already highly sensitised to feel the smallest fly land on its back.

Another case of 'less is more'!

Essy has never been a  fan of getting 'up close and personal' to people. He does not enjoy being groomed and has no idea how to groom another horse.  He easily takes offense at any heavy handedness in his handling by people and is generally head shy.  Watching him in the clip below, move voluntarily closer to Margrit, in an act that resembled a 'mind melt',  is a precious reminder that when really connecting with our horses - touch may be spoken and thought, not even physical at all...

 

Behaviour Is Communication

Less than 24 hours after I pondered over human ability to 'talk to the animals' aka Dr Dolittle I sat down to began to transcribe back Essy's conversation with Margrit that took place on February 10th.  In my blog about Dr Dollittle  I had reflected how pleased with myself I felt that Essy's back leg kicking had been correctly interpreted by myself as tail tension.  Perhaps that interpretation still holds true but now I have an alternative to consider.  Having just began to transcribe the February 10th meeting with Margrit, I have humbly been reminded that animal communication is NOT about me! Let me explain...

Until yesterday I had felt deeply frustrated at not being able to get the simple activity of transcribing the video of Margrit's visit completed sooner.  The delay in part was because I wanted to be in the 'right mental place' and strong mental state, and in part because I've been feeling uncharacteristically tired. I weep at an instant. My body feels heavy.  Ive been low in  physical energy - experiences that are all uncommon to me.  I've taken the first few days of my February holiday to detox my body, to re-nurish with healthy foods, to sleep when tired and to begin to unwind from what has been an unusually hectic start to the year.

Now I feel ready for the responsibility that I want to take so seriously of getting Essy's message out. So I sat down and began to watch the video and type.

As I watched and listened to Essy's story and his message to all horse lovers I laughed out loud hearing Margrit's words...

 

"There is something that he wants you to do that is branching out going forward.  It’s to do with horses. And personal development.  Its’ to shift consciousness. 

 He is showing me a picture of him turning round kicking out his back legs to kick you up the bum"

My earlier interpretation that his back leg kicking was in some way a source of physical pain and self induced relief now has an alternative meaning; he was reminding me to 'get a move on'! 

How blind and deaf does a person have to be to not get it!??  How hard is it to listen? 

Listening it seems is extremely difficult. We have two ears and once mouth but use them disproportionately finishing peoples sentences off for them etc.  We listen through filters of existing frames of reference seeking out what's familiar and rational. We take what we hear and generalise, distrort or even delete sections to fit how 'we see things'.  This makes listening pretty difficult.

Yet when it comes to listening to our horses (or other pets for that matter) we don't even have a common spoken language as a basis to start from.  So,where should we start?  What do we have in common?  Is it expressions?  A similar range of emotions?  Energy? Body language?  Since Essy's visit with Margrit these questions seem to have a renewed importance in my life. 

Now how amazing is this - as I've been typing a large exquisite Heron has just flown onto the deck of our ocean beach villa.  He has now been here for over 20 minutes, washing, drinking, preening. His feathers have flown into my face (another metaphorical slap to 'get on with it')!  Ive been able to sit just 3 feet from him.  It's such a thrill to be so close to such a beautiful wild bird who has chosen this day, this deck and this moment to appear infront of me.   Ive invited him to stay as long as he wishes and to return any time.  His presence fills me with confidence about the path I am pursuing in this blog.

Post Script:
 

5pm and the visiting Heron has just departed, having blessed us with his /her presence for the entire day.  Such an honour.

Today's other noteworthy experience was afternoon sea snorkeling when a 6 foot  long Marble Ray with 8 foot long tail swam right along side me just a few feet away.

What a day of gifts from the animal kingdom, I've never said 'thank you' so many times in one day.