KISS!

A very genuine lady asked me tonight what I thought about 'Bit A' over 'Bit B'.  I thought for a moment about my response.   In the moment its easy to want to indulge in a 'who knows what about bits conversation'.... but the thought of doing so made me instantly feel numb.  I've never had to endure wearing one, my head, face and poll (if I have one) are not built the same way so what right do I have to say anything much about bits at all?

Yet most of the time we do comment. It's good to catch yourself in these moments and take stock of the utter rubbish that we often tend to come out with.

So, back to tonight's question...  I told her that my view is a little 'different' and that any issue of which bit to use is actually unlikely to be the right path for finding the best solution for the horse.    Most of the time bits serve merely as a distraction leading us further  round the cul-de-sac called dealing with 'symptoms' instead of the root 'cause'.

Sensing a very intuitive, empathic lady who has her horse's best interest at heart, I ventured a little further with offering my view:  "I would take a slightly different approach and examine carefully the full length of his neck not forgetting teeth and tongue, and back, for discomfort and pain".  As this is not my own area of training or specialism I suggested an equine physio or chiropractor does an examination for her.  She had said that to her he feels tight in the base of his neck and she mimicked how he holds himself and how that transmits up to his head. To me a horse who she described to 'set in his neck' would warrant a physical examination first before considering changing the metal in his mouth.

As we talked other behavoiural issues emerged  - pawing the ground, barging, pulling etc. We had an enlightening chat from that moment on discussing essential oils to break some emotional associations, physio, carrot stretches, even tacking up in a different place to bring his energy down- all instead of layering on the metal!  The best part was when she said "that feels so right as a way forward'.

As we say in the world of human education KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid; a reminder that the so called  'wacky fluffy' stuff (that my advice could be judged to have been) is actually packed with common sense and tries to serve the interest of the horse first.  It should not be overlooked therefore by caring horse owners. The supposedly more sophisticated gadget based thinking recommended by trainers and professional riders tends to be more about intellectual dominance and ego, than it is about helping the horse.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow and continuing our exploration with her horse at the center and NOT the endless banter about the latest gadget and "must have" tool or product.

Personality and Horse Type; Lets Keep It Simple

In my day job I spend time helping people discover more about themselves. Who they are, how they tick, how they are motivated and how they approach life.

I have access to many tools, inventories, questionnaires to help with this process of discovery.

Yet, with most people we reach a point of information overload; noticeable by the "so what, now what" syndrome.  These questions when posed at the right time are a positive sign that we're getting somewhere.

Inevitably, what happens to most of us is that after a period of naval gazing, introspection, soliciting feedback and gaining insight we are left confused.  "How do I put all this data together"?

The experience can be the same when we 'assess' our horses.  With an increase in the popularity of taking human, corporate and psychological principles such as 'personality type' and transferring them onto our horses, is it any wonder that it's long term effectiveness gets called into question? If it is hard for us to assimilate about ourselves, can it really have value when applied to our horses?

Does it really help me communicate, connect with and show compassion to a horse if I know he/she is an Introvert or extrovert?  I believe that if we look at such labels in isolation, they remain just labels and have a limited shelf life.  However, if (as with our human personality factors) we consider them as simply wardrobe accessories, with each factor existing in its own right to be used as and when needed, for different occasions, then we don't fall foul to the tendency of  'summing up' personality - human or horse. It is in the 'summing up' that we loose all the detail and intrigue. Sometimes the sum of the whole isn't greater than the individual parts, let's learn to notice and respect each and every individual part.

If we want to learn the various 'horse-anality' models available to u, a quick pause to assess our intention might be enlightening.  The love, respect and 'followership' we desire from our horses rarely (in my view) comes when we pass man made exams to prove our knowledge of the latest technique. 

Next time we find ourself 'labelling' our horse as this type or another, let's remember to add on 'today' at the end of the sentence.  Be fair to our horses.  He / she can wear any manner of accessory dependent on mood, weather, environment, stimulus, stress, human interaction etc.  Most humans hate being labelled, boxed and categorised finding it disrespectful and never the full story.  Why on earth should our horses respond any differently?

Besides which doesn't the  beauty of being with animals rest in the simplicity and transparency they offer us both in how they chose to interact with each other and in their acceptance of us and our ways?  Why would we disrespect that by fixing human labels onto a non human species who in all honesty probably knows much more about who they are, than we do, without any need to complete psycho-metrics or fall into a convenient 4 box model?

Dream or premonition?

Last night I went to bed in Majorca.  As I slept on the final night of a short break away,  I dreamed of Essy.  Out of the right hand side of his body around the stomach area protruded several black growths, in the form of a misshapen glove.  The short stocky tendrils shared one base. The vet was there.  The word cancer was discussed. 

Whenever  in the past  I have had dreams involving my horses and their physical well being - as soon as daylight arrives I'm on the phone to the people looking after my horses while I'm away asking them to check them over thoroughly.  Today however I did not make any such call.  The strange thing was that whereas usually I would awake with a feeling of dread and fear, that something was wrong - that feeling wasn't quite apt today.  It was as if the cancer was not Essy's.

Less than 24 hours later and I'm in bed at home, only tonight I weep.

It's surreal when life defining moments happen just as you pass down the bread aisle of a Waitrose Supermarket.  We had stopped for bread and milk en route home from the airport when the text arrived announcing my husband's father has bladder cancer.

Everything was wrong - this wasn't where he should hear such news, and not by text.  It was over an hour before we could reach either his mother or father by phone to try to understand what was happening.

It seems best case is that his father has a cancerous tumor in the bladder that has not yet pierced the bladder wall.  Twelve months of chemo lies ahead.  Worst case is that it has pierced the wall.

I don't feel guilty at making the connection between this news and last night's dream. I don't in any way mean to slight the significance of what lies ahead.  I am however aware how protective my horses are of me and I just can't shake the feeling that Essy was warning me of some bad news ahead, somehow trying to prepare me.

How amazing to think that miles away from us, our horses can be tuning in to such a massive conscience and finding ways to assimilate this information into shapes and forms humans can later comprehend.  During the course of today that dream was with me.  Did it help prepare me? I don't know.  I can't help but feel I will need the strength of Essy -this special horse, and the love of young Grace and the deep emotional connection from Solar Sue. Together the three of them will I believe  help me to be strong for my husband in the weeks ahead.

Once again I will have more to thank my four legged friends for than I could have ever imagined. More awareness of the connection that is possible between all species.  More awe at what deeper insight and communication pathways could lie ahead if I remain open.  It can not be a coincidence that yesterday morning I began to read Margrit's book "Horses talking" and finished it on the plane journey home today!

Telepathy and a little attitude!

Grace had her first chiropractic assessment and physical adjustment last week. Grace was 8 years old in April. She is a wonderfully powerful Dutch Warmblood who came into our lives 18 months ago.

Since her grand entrance nothing has been as i had planned. All for the better, and more of that another day.

She recently met with Margrit who described her as a journalist - observing, noticing and offering commentary on everything around her. A confident horse who had a loving start to life and is literally full of love to give having received enough as a foal, through quality time with her mother. Wow!

I wanted her to meet Sue for a chiropractic assessment as Margrit had detected some neck pain. From her ridden work she tends to set in her jaw and i wondered if the two could be connected.

Sue's assessment and treatment confirmed some neck pain which released before my eyes with Grace quite literally 'giving to the process' and physically 'asking' for the stretches Sue performed with her. As an aside it was reassuring to hear Sue talk to Grace before all moves and at one point reassuring Grace with the words " you know what to do".

As part of her physical assessment Sue asked to see her move on the lunge. After a warm up, walk, trot and canter on both reins Sue had seen what she needed to. Grace 'hops' from walk into trot (which i had mistaken as a learnt habit and blamed myself on poor riding as being the cause). Sue also noticed stiffness in the neck on one rein. Everything seemed consistent.

What i didn't expect was a further observation Sue made and what happened next. Bringing Grace back from canter to walk, Sue declared we were done. At that point she walked towards me into the centre of the circle Grace was still walking on. As she approached me she mentioned that Grace looked a bit locked up in her lumbar region. I was just about to ask why that might be, when Grace quick as a flash voluntarily broke from walk into canter. It was no ordinary Grace canter - which tends to be either the absolute minimum she can achieve or 'the barry sheen circle of death'. Instead she cantered actively, in outline on a small circle around the pair of us full of life. Within seconds Sue declared "strike that last comment" there's nothing wrong with her lumbar!

Now I know that human words aren't supposed to be understood by horses. But crikey-bobs - its hard for me to believe that with such an instant and clear expression of 'ill show you" demonstrated in front of our eyes. Sue and I both found it amusing. I must confess its stayed with me as more than just amusing. I really am left pondering how much of what we say do our horses 'get'?

So to all humans interacting with horses - if you have something negative to say about your horse please don't say it in ear shot. Unless you have a horse like Grace who likes to make it very clear when your are wrong!

Horses, Humans and Good Manners

When I was a lass good manners was a simple case of "please" and "thank you". As obvious as that may sound, how many of us regard 'good horse behaviour' as that simple?

As I look around at horse human interaction i see horses being pulled, pushed, wacked and shouted at all in the name of 'learning some manners' - human style!

Although the journey im on is still a little unclear in its ultimate destination, my three horses are teaching me to go back to the basics. Around each corner im re-discovering that less is indeed more.

Having studied different horse techniques and approaches mostly in the name of 'natural horsemanship' im now thinking even those methods can surely be stripped back to less.

When was the last time you mounted your horse and said a simple "thank you"? Or thanked him for standing still while you groomed him - whether or not he really wanted grooming? Do you hear other horse owners/riders/carers showing simple gratitude for our invasion of their space, body and mind? Sadly i don't hear it at all. Its absence is startling.

When did 'please' and 'thank you' leave our vocabulary? Why are we not more aware of being grateful and show our appreciation?

As adults we have between 90-140,000 thoughts a day, over 90% of those are generated by auto pilot (meaning we aren't consciously creating them) - add to this the fact that most of us don't feel we have a lot to be grateful for in life and we begin to understand why our vocab is depleted.

I suspect that once our awareness closes down, our language follows, or vice versa but the effect will be the same.

Imagine saying to a young 6 year old child ... "when you grow up, you'll be so busy and so bruised by life you'll have nothing to say 'thanks' for"! This is why gratitude diaries or daily practice can be so life changing (for the better); raising our awareness to the good things, taking stock, and by doing so attracting more of the good stuff to come our way.

So back to the journey I'm on - each time i groom I'm standing back before i start to apply brushes and asking my horses if they actually want the feeling of brushes on their backs today? Whatever their stance my job is to say 'thank you' - for letting me, or for being so honest with me if their answer was no!

Riding my young mare - the thrill of her letting me mount her without evasive techniques coming into play is truly worth the biggest thank you - and thats what I say. Her work - again receives lots of 'thank-you's'. When i untack her back in her stable i thank her 'for letting me get on her and for working with me'.

Will good behaviour follow good manners? I don't know. All i know is that the partnership and understanding between myself and each of my three horse friends is evolving in leaps and bounds, daily. I leave the yard thanking each of them in turn for something they offered me, or partnered with me on, and i leave feeling happier with the person I'm becoming when I'm around them. To me, that counts for a lot amongst a life where we play so many other roles, often except being our full selves!

So, let's try less to make our horses show us perfect manners and instead let's lead the way by being well mannered towards them first. My bet is that once we attain a state of appreciation and gratitude, there will be far less need to wrestle with our horses - whose behaviour will fall effortlessly into those that please us, creating a nice self maintaining cycle. If it doesn't ill be back to ponder why!