When I was a lass good manners was a simple case of "please" and "thank you". As obvious as that may sound, how many of us regard 'good horse behaviour' as that simple?
As I look around at horse human interaction i see horses being pulled, pushed, wacked and shouted at all in the name of 'learning some manners' - human style!
Although the journey im on is still a little unclear in its ultimate destination, my three horses are teaching me to go back to the basics. Around each corner im re-discovering that less is indeed more.
Having studied different horse techniques and approaches mostly in the name of 'natural horsemanship' im now thinking even those methods can surely be stripped back to less.
When was the last time you mounted your horse and said a simple "thank you"? Or thanked him for standing still while you groomed him - whether or not he really wanted grooming? Do you hear other horse owners/riders/carers showing simple gratitude for our invasion of their space, body and mind? Sadly i don't hear it at all. Its absence is startling.
When did 'please' and 'thank you' leave our vocabulary? Why are we not more aware of being grateful and show our appreciation?
As adults we have between 90-140,000 thoughts a day, over 90% of those are generated by auto pilot (meaning we aren't consciously creating them) - add to this the fact that most of us don't feel we have a lot to be grateful for in life and we begin to understand why our vocab is depleted.
I suspect that once our awareness closes down, our language follows, or vice versa but the effect will be the same.
Imagine saying to a young 6 year old child ... "when you grow up, you'll be so busy and so bruised by life you'll have nothing to say 'thanks' for"! This is why gratitude diaries or daily practice can be so life changing (for the better); raising our awareness to the good things, taking stock, and by doing so attracting more of the good stuff to come our way.
So back to the journey I'm on - each time i groom I'm standing back before i start to apply brushes and asking my horses if they actually want the feeling of brushes on their backs today? Whatever their stance my job is to say 'thank you' - for letting me, or for being so honest with me if their answer was no!
Riding my young mare - the thrill of her letting me mount her without evasive techniques coming into play is truly worth the biggest thank you - and thats what I say. Her work - again receives lots of 'thank-you's'. When i untack her back in her stable i thank her 'for letting me get on her and for working with me'.
Will good behaviour follow good manners? I don't know. All i know is that the partnership and understanding between myself and each of my three horse friends is evolving in leaps and bounds, daily. I leave the yard thanking each of them in turn for something they offered me, or partnered with me on, and i leave feeling happier with the person I'm becoming when I'm around them. To me, that counts for a lot amongst a life where we play so many other roles, often except being our full selves!
So, let's try less to make our horses show us perfect manners and instead let's lead the way by being well mannered towards them first. My bet is that once we attain a state of appreciation and gratitude, there will be far less need to wrestle with our horses - whose behaviour will fall effortlessly into those that please us, creating a nice self maintaining cycle. If it doesn't ill be back to ponder why!
As I look around at horse human interaction i see horses being pulled, pushed, wacked and shouted at all in the name of 'learning some manners' - human style!
Although the journey im on is still a little unclear in its ultimate destination, my three horses are teaching me to go back to the basics. Around each corner im re-discovering that less is indeed more.
Having studied different horse techniques and approaches mostly in the name of 'natural horsemanship' im now thinking even those methods can surely be stripped back to less.
When was the last time you mounted your horse and said a simple "thank you"? Or thanked him for standing still while you groomed him - whether or not he really wanted grooming? Do you hear other horse owners/riders/carers showing simple gratitude for our invasion of their space, body and mind? Sadly i don't hear it at all. Its absence is startling.
When did 'please' and 'thank you' leave our vocabulary? Why are we not more aware of being grateful and show our appreciation?
As adults we have between 90-140,000 thoughts a day, over 90% of those are generated by auto pilot (meaning we aren't consciously creating them) - add to this the fact that most of us don't feel we have a lot to be grateful for in life and we begin to understand why our vocab is depleted.
I suspect that once our awareness closes down, our language follows, or vice versa but the effect will be the same.
Imagine saying to a young 6 year old child ... "when you grow up, you'll be so busy and so bruised by life you'll have nothing to say 'thanks' for"! This is why gratitude diaries or daily practice can be so life changing (for the better); raising our awareness to the good things, taking stock, and by doing so attracting more of the good stuff to come our way.
So back to the journey I'm on - each time i groom I'm standing back before i start to apply brushes and asking my horses if they actually want the feeling of brushes on their backs today? Whatever their stance my job is to say 'thank you' - for letting me, or for being so honest with me if their answer was no!
Riding my young mare - the thrill of her letting me mount her without evasive techniques coming into play is truly worth the biggest thank you - and thats what I say. Her work - again receives lots of 'thank-you's'. When i untack her back in her stable i thank her 'for letting me get on her and for working with me'.
Will good behaviour follow good manners? I don't know. All i know is that the partnership and understanding between myself and each of my three horse friends is evolving in leaps and bounds, daily. I leave the yard thanking each of them in turn for something they offered me, or partnered with me on, and i leave feeling happier with the person I'm becoming when I'm around them. To me, that counts for a lot amongst a life where we play so many other roles, often except being our full selves!
So, let's try less to make our horses show us perfect manners and instead let's lead the way by being well mannered towards them first. My bet is that once we attain a state of appreciation and gratitude, there will be far less need to wrestle with our horses - whose behaviour will fall effortlessly into those that please us, creating a nice self maintaining cycle. If it doesn't ill be back to ponder why!
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