Last night I went to bed in Majorca. As I slept on the final night of a short break away, I dreamed of Essy. Out of the right hand side of his body around the stomach area protruded several black growths, in the form of a misshapen glove. The short stocky tendrils shared one base. The vet was there. The word cancer was discussed.
Whenever in the past I have had dreams involving my horses and their physical well being - as soon as daylight arrives I'm on the phone to the people looking after my horses while I'm away asking them to check them over thoroughly. Today however I did not make any such call. The strange thing was that whereas usually I would awake with a feeling of dread and fear, that something was wrong - that feeling wasn't quite apt today. It was as if the cancer was not Essy's.
Less than 24 hours later and I'm in bed at home, only tonight I weep.
It's surreal when life defining moments happen just as you pass down the bread aisle of a Waitrose Supermarket. We had stopped for bread and milk en route home from the airport when the text arrived announcing my husband's father has bladder cancer.
Everything was wrong - this wasn't where he should hear such news, and not by text. It was over an hour before we could reach either his mother or father by phone to try to understand what was happening.
It seems best case is that his father has a cancerous tumor in the bladder that has not yet pierced the bladder wall. Twelve months of chemo lies ahead. Worst case is that it has pierced the wall.
I don't feel guilty at making the connection between this news and last night's dream. I don't in any way mean to slight the significance of what lies ahead. I am however aware how protective my horses are of me and I just can't shake the feeling that Essy was warning me of some bad news ahead, somehow trying to prepare me.
How amazing to think that miles away from us, our horses can be tuning in to such a massive conscience and finding ways to assimilate this information into shapes and forms humans can later comprehend. During the course of today that dream was with me. Did it help prepare me? I don't know. I can't help but feel I will need the strength of Essy -this special horse, and the love of young Grace and the deep emotional connection from Solar Sue. Together the three of them will I believe help me to be strong for my husband in the weeks ahead.
Once again I will have more to thank my four legged friends for than I could have ever imagined. More awareness of the connection that is possible between all species. More awe at what deeper insight and communication pathways could lie ahead if I remain open. It can not be a coincidence that yesterday morning I began to read Margrit's book "Horses talking" and finished it on the plane journey home today!
Whenever in the past I have had dreams involving my horses and their physical well being - as soon as daylight arrives I'm on the phone to the people looking after my horses while I'm away asking them to check them over thoroughly. Today however I did not make any such call. The strange thing was that whereas usually I would awake with a feeling of dread and fear, that something was wrong - that feeling wasn't quite apt today. It was as if the cancer was not Essy's.
Less than 24 hours later and I'm in bed at home, only tonight I weep.
It's surreal when life defining moments happen just as you pass down the bread aisle of a Waitrose Supermarket. We had stopped for bread and milk en route home from the airport when the text arrived announcing my husband's father has bladder cancer.
Everything was wrong - this wasn't where he should hear such news, and not by text. It was over an hour before we could reach either his mother or father by phone to try to understand what was happening.
It seems best case is that his father has a cancerous tumor in the bladder that has not yet pierced the bladder wall. Twelve months of chemo lies ahead. Worst case is that it has pierced the wall.
I don't feel guilty at making the connection between this news and last night's dream. I don't in any way mean to slight the significance of what lies ahead. I am however aware how protective my horses are of me and I just can't shake the feeling that Essy was warning me of some bad news ahead, somehow trying to prepare me.
How amazing to think that miles away from us, our horses can be tuning in to such a massive conscience and finding ways to assimilate this information into shapes and forms humans can later comprehend. During the course of today that dream was with me. Did it help prepare me? I don't know. I can't help but feel I will need the strength of Essy -this special horse, and the love of young Grace and the deep emotional connection from Solar Sue. Together the three of them will I believe help me to be strong for my husband in the weeks ahead.
Once again I will have more to thank my four legged friends for than I could have ever imagined. More awareness of the connection that is possible between all species. More awe at what deeper insight and communication pathways could lie ahead if I remain open. It can not be a coincidence that yesterday morning I began to read Margrit's book "Horses talking" and finished it on the plane journey home today!
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