I was thinking of counting up how much I spend on my horses well-being then comparing it to how much I spend on my own well-being. Tee hee! Of course the answer is a lot on them, and not much on me! I'll justify the delta with well thought out excuses such as priorities, and how horses can't provide for themselves, and money doesn't grow on trees etc. etc.
Yet horses do provide for themselves, and do take care of their needs quite naturally, if given the freedom to do so. How? By responding to their physical, and emotional needs; moment by moment. This is one of their greatest gifts they offer us, as our teachers, if we are willing to follow their lead.
This is my view of how 'being responsible' (able to respond to one's needs) looks through the eyes of the horse:-
Unlike our horses, most of us are so busy being busy that we forget to look after ourselves. How do you nurture yourself, what does it mean to you? Does a hot bath and candles once a month really suffice?
What do you crave and dream of? A time in your life where you can do less or be needed by fewer people? More quality 'down' time? An afternoon nap? Fewer chores and tasks to do? Less pressure and obligation? More peace and quiet? Time to think...?
Many of us with horses dream of having more time with them, to enjoy them, watch them graze and chill. It can feel at times as though our horses already understand the importance of 'just being' and are waiting for us to catch on and catch up!
It can be hard to figure out how to live 'metaphorically' like a horse, if they are our teachers. Never mind incorporate their philosophy into a regular lifestyle for oneself. Living in our constant state of 'busyness' it's not surprising we find ourselves in a mid life crisis at 40, wanting to join a commune, live on a kibbutz, or vanish into some mountainous retreat; all in the name of finding ourselves!
Spotting the signals that we need more self nurturing can be difficult until it's too late. Being hard to spot, in part explains how we get so burnt out and exhausted feeling life is nothing more than an existence with days repeating themselves endlessly and pointlessly. How do we re-ignite the child-like spark of new imagination and desire, that we had as children?
For starters why not imagine life to be as honest as that of a wild horse? How might that look? Could you imagine living your life...
Finally, we could take lists like the one above, rip them up and put them in the bin. Then go quiet and ask ourselves the important question... "What would I LIKE to do right now?" "What do I NEED to do... (or not do) - in this moment?
When we realise that living a responsible life is about being able to respond to our needs, moment by moment (just like our horses) and not fulfiling lists, then we live a more healthy and balanced life. We become less resentful of others, bitter about our jobs, angry about life, responding like a victim or martyr. Who knows we could become a joy to live with and enjoy life more in the process.
If you share your life with an animal or pet - watch them for ten minutes as they sleep, rest, play or graze, and feel the nurturing effect of just watching them and taking pleasure from the simplicity of the moment and how for them, it is all there is to do - in that moment!
One of the lessons Grace shared with Margrit is that we all have the kernel of peace inside us and new habits form just like small seeds i.e. from small beginnings. We already have the answers right in front of us. Right now I SHOULD be cooking dinner but instead I WANTED to put these thoughts together before attending to domestic duties, so that I am in a better place to do so when I get into the kitchen.
Let's hope its a good decision ....or it's going to be a long evening and a disappointing dinner!
Yet horses do provide for themselves, and do take care of their needs quite naturally, if given the freedom to do so. How? By responding to their physical, and emotional needs; moment by moment. This is one of their greatest gifts they offer us, as our teachers, if we are willing to follow their lead.
This is my view of how 'being responsible' (able to respond to one's needs) looks through the eyes of the horse:-
They run when they need to run
They stop running when they have no further need to run
They sunbathe when they can
They huddle up when they want warmth
They seek out company if desired
They eat when the can, as much as they need
They lie down when they want to - not obeying any sleep patterns or time of day
They have fun and play when they get the urge
They breed if they want to
They nip 'family' disagreements in the bud
They follow their desires to scratch and groom as needed (see photo below)
Of course horses don't have bills to pay, jobs to hold down, committee positions to fulfil, but for most of us the extent to which we have these duties is optional -mostly we've chosen to do them, they aren't forced upon us. Even working doesn't have to be for the long hours we habitually perform! They follow their desires to scratch and groom as needed (see photo below)
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| Grace and her friend Romi "When needs must"- no time for the rider to dismount - scratching needed now! |
Unlike our horses, most of us are so busy being busy that we forget to look after ourselves. How do you nurture yourself, what does it mean to you? Does a hot bath and candles once a month really suffice?
What do you crave and dream of? A time in your life where you can do less or be needed by fewer people? More quality 'down' time? An afternoon nap? Fewer chores and tasks to do? Less pressure and obligation? More peace and quiet? Time to think...?
Many of us with horses dream of having more time with them, to enjoy them, watch them graze and chill. It can feel at times as though our horses already understand the importance of 'just being' and are waiting for us to catch on and catch up!
It can be hard to figure out how to live 'metaphorically' like a horse, if they are our teachers. Never mind incorporate their philosophy into a regular lifestyle for oneself. Living in our constant state of 'busyness' it's not surprising we find ourselves in a mid life crisis at 40, wanting to join a commune, live on a kibbutz, or vanish into some mountainous retreat; all in the name of finding ourselves!
Spotting the signals that we need more self nurturing can be difficult until it's too late. Being hard to spot, in part explains how we get so burnt out and exhausted feeling life is nothing more than an existence with days repeating themselves endlessly and pointlessly. How do we re-ignite the child-like spark of new imagination and desire, that we had as children?
For starters why not imagine life to be as honest as that of a wild horse? How might that look? Could you imagine living your life...
- moving about at a consistent pace throughout the day, with less dashing about and manic ticking off of impossibly long 'to do' lists?
- grazing throughout the day on simple food, whats easily available and ready to hand - as and when hungry, a little and often?
- giving yourself permission to snooze when you get home for half an hour before cooking dinner?
- spending time with others only if you want to and it re-charges your energy?
-being more honest about your needs to ourselves and others without seeking approval?
-being more honest about your needs to ourselves and others without seeking approval?
- making an effort to clear out commitments from your diary, creating space to do more of what you want to do?
- dealing with things in the moment and not letting them escalate?
- lighting candles not only when you have time for a bath?
- not being a slave to phones, emails, alerts and texts?
- opening bills only once a week to keep them in perspective?
When we realise that living a responsible life is about being able to respond to our needs, moment by moment (just like our horses) and not fulfiling lists, then we live a more healthy and balanced life. We become less resentful of others, bitter about our jobs, angry about life, responding like a victim or martyr. Who knows we could become a joy to live with and enjoy life more in the process.
If you share your life with an animal or pet - watch them for ten minutes as they sleep, rest, play or graze, and feel the nurturing effect of just watching them and taking pleasure from the simplicity of the moment and how for them, it is all there is to do - in that moment!
One of the lessons Grace shared with Margrit is that we all have the kernel of peace inside us and new habits form just like small seeds i.e. from small beginnings. We already have the answers right in front of us. Right now I SHOULD be cooking dinner but instead I WANTED to put these thoughts together before attending to domestic duties, so that I am in a better place to do so when I get into the kitchen.
Let's hope its a good decision ....or it's going to be a long evening and a disappointing dinner!
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| Essy (center stage) with Solar Sue 'chilling' |
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