The Art of Non Interference

"Do or do not. There is no try"  

 

- Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

During the winter months taking hay to hungry neglected horses you wouldn't be human if on occasion you don't feel some anger at the situation these horse are in because of other humans.  You find yourself thinking uncharitable thoughts like:-

"How come someone owns these horses but has shirked their responsibility?"

"if I abandoned my horses, I bet I wouldn't be so lucky to have someone else pick up the responsibility and cost for feeding them!"

You know its uncharitable, but you can't help but feel the injustice as some people sail through life casting their responsibilities aside (lucky enough to have horses in the first place), whilst others pick up more than their fair share of duty and obligation in their wake.

No one likes a moaner and least of all a self righteous one, or a victim but I began to wonder if acting with the right intention was enough, or was I in some way facilitating another person's negligence?  I began to wonder:-

"How can I feed these horses, and at the same time help the owner wake up to his responsibilities?"

The key was to find a way to help those in need (the field of 12 in this case) whilst somehow helping the owner to step up too!

I puzzled for hours, and discussed it with others much wiser than myself, but I couldn't come up with any bright ideas.  No reverse psychology seemed to fit the situation.

Then, suddenly I didn't have to!

Quite literally, as I mulled on this dilemma over and over,  questioning the sustainability of my actions, the owner suddenly began feeding hay to his horses!  He has continued to do so once a week ever since, including today.

I know horse people will crow that 'once a week isn't enough',  however, it is a lot of hay he puts in the field each time and it does last them 3 to 4 days. And, after all...

Small seeds grow into strong trees (or something like that)

How did this suddenly happen?  What did I do and what can I share to others who find themselves caught in the same emotional trap?

The answer is "NOTHING!"

For most of us, our default approach to life and problems is about doing something, taking action or making someone else do something or take action!  The solution in this case seemed to come from the reverse.  It came from a place of doing nothing. 

What do I mean?

Both this herd of horses and my own herd of three seem to be teaching me the value and importance of non action.  Doing nothing almost forces you to step back from the scenery and see the whole landscape! (Its surely a great goal in life to see more of the landscape every time we stop to look).

I am learning that to do nothing when normally I would do something, means I have to be in a place of acceptance.  I have to let go.  I have to stop trying to control or interfere.  Just think for a moment how hard this is as a concept to live by.  Someone cuts you up on the road and you .... accept it and let him/her go without reprisal!  Your boss at work gives you a hard time without merit and you ... step back to look beyond the hurt and anger, to see what lessons you can learn.  A close friend breaks an important commitment to you and you... look at it from their perspective not yours. 

You'd have to be Mother Theresa right?

Maybe, or maybe not!

If action junkies like myself living as my music teacher described just yesterday "at such a high octane level" - can pause and stop, then anyone can! 

In the road rage, or badly behaving boss situation we accept through compassion.  In the friendship scenario, we see the landscape when we wish to be of service to that friend, unconditionally.

It seemed that the more I let my feelings of anger towards the herd's owner slip away and not hold me in it's grip, and the more I thought about offering love and help to the horses, instead of anger at their plight, the more the owner's thinking shifted too. 

Is it possible that when we change our thinking the world responds also?  Is it possible that sending out feelings of love, compassion, support and kindness reaps more of the same in return? 

All that I did was let go of feelings of wrong doing, and betrayal, replacing them with love and belief that it would all be ok, and it was ok!

I am an amateur in the world of non interference and doing nothing.  I make no claims of a grand vision or euphoric sense of enlightenment.  I am more curious than ever about what's recently been happening and how these horses have shown up in my life and in return are showing me how to lead a better life.

What I can confess is that this is not a new phenomena for me.

As I've matured in my business behaviour at work over the years, I've learnt many times the value of doing nothing, letting an email just sit for a while before responding, or letting a fire burn itself out without my adding any fuel on top! 

At home I've learnt the importance of extracting myself from a verbal battle, to find a calm spot, focus on what is really important and dig deep into the underlying paranoia driving my extreme outbursts.  Returning to the conversation to understand versus score points.

I just never realised before now that centring on giving yourself some inner peace, feeling what you feel but not always acting upon that feeling, and having the choice to do so or not, is  a vibrant way to live.

Maybe like fire flies at night, if we go there first - to a better place of thought and feeling, then we can become a vibrant light, a beacon for others to follow too?

In the Bible Mathew told us to  "love thine enemy".  Sometimes that ship has sailed on by and I can't promise to feel that for the owner of the herd of 12, however, I do believe what Barbara DeAngelis said:-

We can't save people.

We can only love them.

But that love is enough.

And, as Willa Cather said:-

"Where there is great love, there are always miracles".

I continue to believe in miracles and am now on the look out for them more and more each day.

The World Is A Safe Place!

Do you have those moments where you don't believe what you are seeing?

Do you know that feeling when you watch something happening in front of you and think 'any moment now someone is going to jump out with a camera saying "smile you are on TV?"'.... It happened to me last week!

I was driving past the field of 12 neglected horses (see earlier posts;Kindness or turn a blind eye and Charity support down, Angels on the up), when I couldn't believe my own eyes!  All the horses were gathered quietly together, heads down in feed buckets... EATING!

Horsey people who have witnessed horses being neglected and left in fields will know the significance of this find, and understand my shock.  I drove home, dumped the car, then ran back down the road to the field.  I needed to watch and study. 

Like an undercover spy on a stakeout I hid in the hedgerow and watched.  I could see two people, walking between the horses, a man and a woman.  Its funny how by just watching how people walk and stand you can tell they are 'ok', safe to approach.   It was clear that they were familiar with horses and comfortable around them.  They had spread the buckets out at a safe distance and there was a peaceful atmosphere about the herd. 

There and then I decided I was going to go over and meet these people - whoever they were.  I ran back home, got the car and drove round to where I had recently been accessing the field out of view of the road.

A small car was parked where I park!  I climbed the gate as they were walking back and we met. 

A couple of hours later after a lot of like minded talking, we arranged to meet again - same time, same place the next day.

Turned out we had a lot in common:

- a love of horses
- our own horses
- a desire to help neglected, hungry horses
-a sense of despair and frustration at the lack of resource and hope provided by animal Charitys
-a desire to open our own 'rescue centres' if and when funds allow

etc etc.

More than that we also had a shared sense of  compassion towards animals.  We all had connections to Reiki and healing and our own stories about the amazing synchronicity of life when you are on the 'right path', such as now and finding each other helping these horses. 

Before this encounter neither of us knew of each other's existance.  Independently we had thought we were the only ones doing something! 

It just goest to show you never quite know what you DONT see!  Eyes wide shut kind of concept!  It's amazing to me, given how many times a day I pass this field, that  I never saw these people in there before.  But, nothing happens until the time is right and we are in the 'right emotional, mental space' to see it and learn from it.

What else is right infront of us waiting to be discovered?

Every day since, this chance encounter, this mother and son have turned up with 12 buckets of feed including stud mix for the pregnant mares. They arrive with haylage and spread that out for the horses.  Every day!

Seems that they used to watch and feed these horses, then, to use their words, they 'took their eye off them' and were helping another field of horses.  They had only recently  come by the field again and seen the condition of the horses. Even more weird - the day that the grey horse was shot by the RSPCA one of these two kind souls was actually there, with the mare and cried buckets for her needless loss. 

Small world!

So, I had seen these people before, I just didn't actually SEE them!  If you know what I mean!  In the heat of emotion of a horse's life ending, its amazing where our senses and emotions turn and what else they blind us to.  Anger, rage, loss, despair blind us to the love and compassion that is there at the same time!

Quote from The World Is a Safe Place by Jim White

This chance encounter has restored my faith in people and  in mankind.  I used this example in a conversation with a friend on the phone last night.  I was trying to find words to explain how I am learning (these last few months) that as Lao Tzu says ...

"you have to know darkness in order to enjoy light" 

(this is my translation of his words) 

Without darkness, bad, evil, or problems, there can be no opposite; light, goodness, kindness, and solutions.  We have to push through the darkness, create our own path with the right intentions behind it, and have faith that the light will be there to shine when we come out the other side.    

My experiences over the last 3 months suggest that I'm not sure you actually have to have a lot of faith in the first place, but perhaps as long as you have compassion and respect for life, faith will find you!   

There is an inspirational book called The World Is A Safe Place by Jim White, from whom I have taken the title of this post.  Its a great inspirational read of images, quotes and concepts.  It's based on a true story. 

www.theworldisasafeplace.com

Here are just a few of the powerfully thought provoking images and messages you'll find on the website and in his book.

Over the last 3 weeks, I've posted a lot about one thing: MIRACLES!  Be that the health issues with myself and my mother, that have miraculously fixed, healed or simply disappeared.  Or the miraculous amount of help offered by total strangers to help me feed horses in need.  Finally the miracle of the World being a Safe Place.  

Other amazing things are happening right now, which i'll share as they unfold.  I for one, never expected to be writing about miracles, let alone believing in them!

Charity support down - Angels on the up!

When I posted on Face book for help to see if anyone could donate unwanted hay for a field of 12 underfed, very hungry horses, several of whom are pregnant, my expectations were low.

Elderly Mare struggling in the hock deep mud

I posted that day in February this year,  because a week later I was going on holiday for 2 weeks and I was beginning to panic about them going without food if I wasn't around to feed them, or leave them enough.

I posted on Sunday night around 9pm.  Within an hour over 20 people had responded. By the next morning it was over 30!  In summary each person responded either offering:-

 - Support and encouragement to me for trying to help these horses
or
- To donate hay
or
- To donate money for hay

I had one woman living near Leicester offer to fund a local hay supplier to deliver hay!  I had another woman offer to drop a bale round at my home.  I had offers from horse owners willing to bag up wasted / uneaten hay - which I did then go and collect. Even a hay producer offered a discount on big haylage bales, and a decent delivery rate. Most miraculous of all, I had 4 women all independently contact me offering to give a home to one horse each, if I could get the horses out.

Wow!  I was gobsmacked, I began to realise....

There is a God! 

There are real living Angels right around the corner!

There is mercy, compassion and a strong sense of humanity in fellow humans

....  just when I was beginning to doubt all of the above!

It's funny how if you kick start something off, you then suddenly become the Leader on that topic.  As people direct messaged me over the next few days with offer of help, I also got lots of questions about the horses, their location, their history, requests to know what my plans were, details of charities I should contact.  I quickly felt the growing weight of responsibility.  It was suddenly as if these horses were now in the spotlight and so was I.  All my doing of course.

Amidst the offers of help, there were some well intentioned warnings to be careful, to stay away, and to avoid getting into any danger with any owners, suspected by most to be Gypsies.

It is true, I had moments of thinking, 'walk away', 'this isn't my problem', 'don't endanger my home, and my own horses etc'.  But those, moments were always quickly overshadowed.

How? Simples!  Seeing these horses faces, every day, so grateful for food, kindness and help was the only voice I could hear amidst the social media crowd.

Suffice it to say, the ensuing week got a bit weird!  The chronology went like this:-

Sunday night I posted on Face book.

Monday afternoon, I had loaded up my car boot with hay to take to the field of 9 and the field of 12.  As I approached the field of 12, two blokes with a trailer were there!  I hesitated for a brief second, frozen by an inner voice urging me to 'drive on by' versus  'this is your chance to stop and talk to them'.   I braked, stopped and wound down the window.

I took the 'be charming' approach which softened the big guy who proudly proclaiming he owned all 12 of the horses.  He defensively told me it was 'hard to keep the weight on them in the winter' and I bit my desire to say 'not if you feed them it isn't'!!  I told him I was aware the RSPCA had put a number of his horses down.  He denied it, and right there I got all I needed in terms of the measure of the man and his honesty!  The conversation ended with him saying that he was delivering hay for them right now, in the trailer.

As the traffic behind me was now building up, I excused myself and drove on. Two hours later I returned to check he had delivered the hay.  He had NOT. No hay, no food. A 'fob off'.  I was mad and pleased I had stopped to talk to him.  Now there could be no escaping the sad truth that the welfare of his horses was not his prime concern.  So, it will become mine!

Tuesday,  I parked up again to deliver the contents of my car - now stuffed like a sausage with hay, kindly donated by a woman near Bucklebury which I had picked up Monday afternoon.

I unloaded on the roadside. I was just done when the guy (owner) from the day before pulled up behind me!  I drove off quick sticks, feeling like a naughty school girl caught behind the bike sheds (only I went to an all girls school so make of that what you will)!

Why he came I have no idea, as again he left no hay.

Wednesday, a friend returned with me, as she had volunteered to deliver hay whilst I was on holiday.  We were to stash a supply of hay in another field opposite which she could then easily access.   Again as we had finished throwing hay over the fence, a pick up pulled up with a big bale of hay on its back!

We drove off again, quick to avoid any awkward conversations about being 'interfering nosey parkers' etc.

Later that day I can't tell you the relief I felt when I drove past again and saw at last a massive bale of hay. Presumably it was the one on the back of the pick up from earlier that day.

Thursday I had one more mission to complete - to collect a massive supply of unwanted hay being donated following my appeal. It was such a great supply - a stable full, that  it would keep the herd going after my holiday,  till the spring grass came through.

Already feeling like I'd won the lottery, I then had time donated by my yard manager to help me load and collect the hay, plus two other friends.  None of them had a vested interest beyond helping horses in need.  Everyday Angels were appearing from every corner!

It was an afternoons work to load it all and unload it all again, but it was good hard work with a very satisfying feeling.

Now I could go on holiday, knowing I'd done all I could, I had people watching while I was gone, and I had a good supply of food awaiting my return.

It seems good people are everywhere and maybe good will out weigh bad!

Little did I know the situation had an even happier series of events around the corner...!

Kindness or Turn a Blind Eye?

Winter can be tough on the body as well as our stable bills but what about its' impact on our soul?  

I've always loved winter - the earthy smells, nature's changing colour-scheme and heart warming soups and roasts.  I love long woolly cardigans and gloves that stop me biting my nails!

Winter signals a time of 'slowing down' from my usually restless spirit until January 1st arrives, when the dawn of a new year allows me to awaken like a puppy, full of the joys of possibility.

Just as within a John Wyndham novel that awakening has consequences positive or otherwise, but definitely unexpected!

This winter introduced a new challenge which has made me wonder how I haven't faced it in the past? It seems that if you don't open your eyes and look around you - you won't see beyond the end of your nose!  What you see isn't always attractive, but we must get better at looking!

It was mid December last year when during a regular Sunday walk to buy the papers, I caught a glimpse of a small herd of black ponies in a field that I'd never noticed there before.  I peered through the hedgerow but they were too far away for me to see clearly.

Over the next few days, I slowed down each time I drove past the field trying to get a better view. 

As Christmas approached I kept wondering whose they were and who was looking after them?   During another Sunday morning walk,  I noticed they were close to the fence bordering a car park of the local pub.  I walked over to take a closer look.

They were a small herd of four ponies, including a foal.  They wore head collars and one of them wore a rug.  They didn't seem to be abandoned, yet where was the owner? 

The more I looked around the more I realised  they had no water, and no actual grazing.  The field was not fit for animals to be on, the terrain was horrendous - with massive ruts not a part of it was flat.  Worse, they were walking and climbing amongst pub debris - pint glasses, glass bottles, cans, wine bottles the like of which I've never seen!

The litter was horrific!  These barefoot horses were walking amongst a death trap!  They were covered in gorse bushes, burrs, wild Hawthorne branches hanging from their tails.  It was a sad and sorry sight.

They were not feral, and eagerly met me at the fence line - when I say fence it was rusty strands of barbed wire, posts with nails sticking out into (field side).  Another mountain of disasters waiting to happen. 

I could see one of the ponies - in fact a young stallion about 3 in age, had horrendously neglected feet.  The more I looked the more I disliked what I saw.  To be honest, I can see why people walk away - better to not know and pretend it's not happening!  I know, I felt the same way; helpless and ashamed of my fellow humans.

 

More and more the ponies spent time by the pub car park.  One morning as I went to talk to them, a woman appeared from inside the pub and asked me if they were mine?

I felt outraged that anyone would think I would keep my horses in such a place and state!  She was not horsey, but very emotional and upset about the ponies, she had a heart the size of Texas and wanted to know what she could do to help them.

Everything changed in that conversation.

She had been phoning the RSPCA daily to report these sad and hungry looking ponies.  She was not a horsey person, yet she was willing to take action and do something!   It was clear to me that I was a horsey person, so I could do a lot more and it was now time to do so.  

I bought a massive red tub truck and three 25 litre water carriers.  I went back to the field the same day and dragged 70 litres of water into the field for them to drink.  They drank and drank and drank. 

So my new weekly routine began.... it started with just trips with water, but then I began to buy hay.  They were so appreciative, and so hungry.

January saw temperatures plummet into the minuses and no way I could keep driving by pretending it wasn't my problem, or my responsibility.  Bottom line, while I had means to deliver and funds to buy food and water, why wouldn't I help them?

If not me then who?  

If not now, then when?

I spent another Sunday clearing out the bottles and glasses from the field, and took it all to the tip.  Each weekend I had to re do the exercise but the pub kindly let me tip my stuffed full bin liners of glass into their big dump bins which was a big help.

The lady from the pub and I became friends.  We divided duties; I was on food and water duties, she was on RSPCA hounding duties.  Eventually, the RSPCA did arrive, said they could do nothing and left!

On a more positive note the World Horse Welfare then arrived and left their business card.  Long story short, over the next 3 weeks, the World Horse Welfare did come back and check on the ponies, of course their advise was to stop feeding and watering the horses but that's like telling someone to walk past a neighbour in need - no way JOSE - my friend and I were united in keeping doing what we were doing.

Just as I was getting into a regular pattern of building my new routine into an already busy day, 4 more ponies arrived in the same field! Horsey people had warned me this would happen, but it was still a shock when it did!

Yikes, now there were 8 hungry mouths to feed!

Sadly, only a couple of days later and the Horse Welfare guy had a conversation with a 'man' in the car park,  who said 3 of the original 4 were his.  He said he would be taking those 3 away, and within a couple of days they were gone.  I happened to be driving by as the 3 were shoved into a two horse trailer and seeing the face of the foal staring out before the ramp went up was a heart wrenching image.  I hated feeling unable to help or do anything. 

This left the little stallion and the 4 new lighter coloured ponies.

The little stallion seemed to miss his initial field mates and called out for a couple of days.  Then he seemed to accept his lot, although he didn't mingle as well with his new friends.

The new herd were very frightened of humans, but its amazing how skilled you can become at cutting out brambles in tails from a distance, to ensure I kept out of the kick zone!

Eventually a sign went up at various points in the car park and fence line ordering the horses to be removed within 14 days or they would be removed.

On day 12  they all disappeared!

My friend from the pub and I were gutted.  Worried.  Sad, and we both miss those little guys still now, after 4 weeks without them.

There is some good news.  The 3 from the original 4 - well I've found them!  Quite by chance, I was driving to Winchester and out of the corner of my eye went past a field and noticed three ponies. My instinct told me it was them.  I stopped, turned round and drove back.

It was them!  They were all cleaned up.  They were on a flat field, with grass!  They even had a pile of hay!  The relief was huge and my heart sung as they came over to the fence line to say hi!

I drive around looking out for the 5 coloured and the little stallion who would melt the toughest of hearts.  I hope to find them all again one day in better surroundings and well fed.

With all the comings and goings of horses, I had many occasion to wonder why? Why were horses being neglected and left without water and adequate food?  What has happened to human compassion and responsibility?  What have horses done to deserve such disrespect and hardship? 

The problem appeared to be that the more I mused on these impossible questions, the more hopeless the situation seemed, as any Equine related charity will tell you.

What ive learnt is that the Charities are overwhelmed with reports of such incidents.  They don't have adequate land or re-homing facilities.  Their default solution is to take horses only when on deaths door and destroy them.  Not what you and I are lead to believe when we watch TV adverts begging for our donations. 

It remains for me to share what happens next in both my experience with these horses and with human beings - will good outweigh bad?  Will right action correct wrong? 

Find out more in my next post...

Magic Mushrooms

“You cannot get sick enough to help sick people get better. You cannot get poor enough to help poor people thrive. It is only in your thriving that you have anything to offer anyone. If you’re wanting to be of an advantage to others, be as tapped in, tuned in, turned on as you can possibly be.” ~ Abraham

When mum started drinking the mushroom coffee in September 2014 she was in her second year of suffering from osteoporosis in one knee.  This meant painful injections into the kneecap every 6 months.  Without them, standing up from a chair, wait bearing after driving or sitting was incredibly painful.

On getting up from a chair of any height, she would have to stand on one leg, and rest a minute or more, until she could straighten out her other knee.  Leaving restaurants and coffee shops, or tackling stairs were not tasks to be rushed!

The problem was that the interval between injections was now decreasing.  At the time of finding out about her dead heart muscle her knee was in pain once more and yet only 3 months had elapsed since the last injection.

To say her spirits were down was an understatement.  Yet, given the heart concerns, her knees were not our main concern.

Essy with Urticaria 2010

When Essy had his terrible and prolonged attack of urticaria from September to November 2011 I was at my wits end and financial end working with vets to find the cause, and find a remedy.   It was not until the November when I called in an Animal Iridologist and Zoo pharmacologist, that we found a fix.  

That fix was Dandelion root and a Kidney Tonic.  To the end of time I will be indebted to the fast help and relief experienced by Essy and myself.  After 4 days of root and tonic, the lumps vanished and have never returned.

4 Days is fast by anyone’s standards.  I was impressed and gobsmacked at the simplicity of the cure - nature's dandelion roots!

Now, to return to my mum's old knees...  

My plan for my mum's healing included watching some videos about the miraculous healing properties of Ganoderma - which I had in coffee sachets and which she was drinking daily.

I set up the first video for her to watch while I was heading out for an hour or two. To my utter amazement not only did she watch the first of hour-long videos on the mushroom, but also she managed on my mac computer to open up the other 4 videos, and watched them also.  I was astonished at her new found IT skills, and even more amazed that the content held her attention for that long.

She stayed with me for 3 nights, 4 days and on the last day as she was packing to leave she said almost apologetically....

'I don't know if I'm imagining it, but I'm sure the pain in my knee is less today'.  

She went on "it's that coffee isn't it?'

As much as I love to rejoice in the mystery of life's weird and wonderful twists and turns, I also can be quite sanguine. This was one such time, so I said I had no idea but it was good news, and she should continue with the coffee, monitor her knees and report back.

To date, now mid February 2015 and her knee is perfect!  Totally pain free!  She has had no need to go back to the doctor, no further injections and is now way over the 6-month injection cycle. She has no problems or pain alighting stairs, getting out of the car, or up from chairs. Totally normal knee functioning has resumed.

She tells everyone she meets about this miracle. She recommends the coffee to any one with joint aches and pains.  My older sister (also a knee problem sufferer) has started taking it and has also said her knee pain is less.  Unlike my mum, she has attributed it to alternative logic to the coffee such as "it must be because I've accepted the pain and I'm just getting on with life".  Well maybe!  That is one explanation that has prooven in the healing world. 

I wonder what impact on my mums knees the Ganoderma Coffee Videos have had?  What role  sleeping in the sunshine to reiki music in the garden, or  drinking Spirulina smoothies and listening to metaphysics recordings have played in her miraculous healing?

The placebo effect is well known and documented.  Perhaps that is the only explanation needed.  At the end of the day you could say 'who cares' she is pain free.  For me I'd like to go a little further in my understanding.  

Accepting what has happened is important and has a calm and tranquillity to it.  At the same time knowing more about the ways in which we are connected to nature, to healing properties of nature or of our own thinking feel equally as important.

I have a feeling I'll be exploring the mind and body miracles much more.  In the meantime hooray for Ganoderma Coffee. 

Hooray for miracles; equine and human! 

Hooray for Mauritius, for my Reiki teacher Jean Michel and for the gifts of healing that awaits anyone in need.  As the saying goes:

“When the student is ready the teacher will appear”