Intincts CAN let us down!

“For a human being, nothing comes naturally

We have to learn everything we do.”  

 

- Said Philip Pullman

This blog is about instincts.  Our instincts. A quote like the one above would normally be something I would disagree with, saying that our instinct comes naturally and doesn't have to be learned.  Although, I would agree that often we have to learn to connect with our instincts.

As a result, normally I would expect to find myself writing about the importance of not over thinking or censoring our instincts (or they cease to be instincts).  In almost all areas of human life (careers, relationships etc), our instincts usually serve us well when we tune in.

However, as I learn how to ride dressage with Grace, I am learning the importance of un-learning being in tune with my instincts.  How listening to my instincts often is NOT the right thing to do when in the saddle, and based on prior riding experience.

What are instincts anyway and is it singular or plural? Webster defines it as:

"a way of behaving, thinking, or feeling that is not learned" 

a

"natural desire or tendency that makes you want to act in a particular way"

When riding, our instincts (those natural tendencies)  are often not our best friend!  Nor the horses! Here's a couple of examples of what I mean...

My first dressage lesson just 3 weeks ago (captured in Ghandi inspired riding)  highlighted how 'hanging on the reins' doesn't EVER help to slow a horse like Grace down!  It just gives her something to grab hold of, lean into and speed on forward with! The reverse of what I actually want!

Whilst my brain says 'grab' and my body obliges forwards, I have to learn to sit back, and to NOT balance on the reins.

Think of how often when we ride we suddenly feel anxious, nervous or even afraid.  Maybe with good cause, perhaps our horse spooked or became nappy.  No one wants to fall off, so to have an emotional reaction and this is quite normal. The problem is that our thoughts and feelings shape our actions and behaviour - and become our future instinct brought to life at future events.  

If we lean forward taking our centre of gravity out of balance with the horse, giving him further reason to panic.  We grab the reins - holding him tight when he needs his head to look around.  We tense our body, which the horse feels, inevitably tightening the grip on our legs around our horse.  To most horses that would signal "run" and "go faster" feeling like a predator holding on tight!

So, the cycle becomes a self fulfilling one, transmitting to the horse lots of reason to be right to spook or run in the first place.

Think of the typical range of emotions we can experience any time we ride, it might include some of the following:

 
• confidence
• anger
• happy
• disappointed
• embarrassed
• relaxed 
• tense
• distracted
• unfocused
• indecisive
• afraid
• nervous
• anxious
• optimistic
• pessimistic
• overwhelmed
• confused
• stupid
• impatient
• exasperated
• surprised
• depressed
• negative
• hopeful

Each emotion (triggered by thoughts and feelings) creates a physiological reaction in our body.  Our horses pick up on any physiological state change, especially the really strong ones.  Each emotion has the potential to dramatically change the way we ride - our position, our breathing, our balance.  Some times we simply stop riding, other times we over-ride.  Many times we end up with no awareness of what we are doing until it is too late, or if we are lucky, a trainer or friend intervenes.

Getting angry with our horse and allowing that emotion to dictate what we do - kick, whip, shout,  punish, whatever is not the solution for a long term training experience.  We simply teach our horse how unkind, lacking in compassion and un-lady-like we can be!  That doesn't build trust and partnership.

When we decide to 'teach him/ her a lesson' or to "keep going till he/she 'gets it"  (examples of responding to instinct driven by anger, embarrassment etc) - we usually find our efforts misplaced.

As a simple reminder of how off beat we can be with our instincts, remember what happens when your horse steps on your foot!?  What do we do? Try to push the horse off  right?  And does it work? Not quickly, as his first instinct is to lean into that pressure.  Much as when we ride and lean on the reins. 

This leaves us 'sports coaches' in a complicated space: when to encourage riders to use their instincts and when to ignore them?  Bottom line is that a lot of what we do with our horses either is, or needs to be counter -intuitive!

The advise I was given three weeks ago by the super Mario is "if you don't get the result you want from your horse.... analyse why!  Breakdown what you thought, what you did with your body, hands, back, breath, legs etc. one by one -  then pick one aspect of your checklist and do it differently.  If that makes the positive difference you want, great!  If not, re-analyse and adjust something else"

I think the quote below captures the essence of what Mario is suggesting i.e. to 'stay curious' and guard against those riding habits that are born out of fear - which my grabbing the reins is absolutely all about!