F for Freedom

The more I journey into greater awareness of our Horse's needs the more I realise how asleep I've been, until now!

A horse has 3 vital needs:

1. freedom to roam, 
2. free access to forage (i.e. unlimited not inexpensive)!
3. friends (horses) to connect and contact with

So how similar our the needs of us humans to that of the horse?  In my opinion the answer seems to be VERY....

Looking first at "freedom", history offers many inspirational people and events to show us its importance...

 Emancipation of the Serfs

 Martin Luther King

 Emily Pankhurst

 Nelson Mandella

 Gay rights activists

Human history is peppered with bold and creative stories of individuals or groups striving to achieve freedom for self, or others. Our liberty extends beyond being a principle or need, it is a basic human right that appauls us if absent.

" Exemption from external control"

Freedom in the dictionary is defined as 'exemption from external control'.  In our daily lives this shows up in many ways - we have the freedom to roam and set up home where we chose, and with whom we chose; we are free to chose if we work, have freedom in how we dress, what we eat, how we exercise (if at all), what medical help we seek or accept; freedom of expression, and the freedom to  'find oneself'. 

How would you feel if you lost your freedom? Facing the potential loss of a driving license for many of us throws us into despair at the sense of imposed confinement and loss of choice. We hear on the TV of young girls forced into unhappy even abusive marriages, and we read of hostage taking or incarcerations in the name of Anti Terrorism.

In such circumstances how long would you want to keep 'giving your best'?  Would life seem rich in quality? Would you trust those around you? Would you fulfill your potential or have the resilience to carry on trying? 

The consequence to our human soul and spirit if we lose our freedom can be devastating.  Some of us wouldn't survive; giving up; our spirit broken. Perhaps this sounds familiar when horses spirits were deliberately broken in order that we could ride them.  In remembering the Horse's 3 needs we realise that they often don't have their first need: freedom. Sometimes they don't have it for the duration of their life!  So, why wouldn't the loss of such a fundamental need have an equally destructive effect on them, as it has upon us?

Consider the lifestyle of many horses today...

•  They are moved about the country, or world, with no say on where or when
• They are bought and sold with no say in by whom
• They have no control over a lifestyle spent indoors or outdoors 
• Are often kept isolated from contact with other horses
• Told when they can or can't run!
• Have a limited chance to self medicate and select natural remedies
• Exist without permission to self express; kick, leap, buck, rear, twist and turn whenever they want
•  Have no choice of 'mate' 
• No say in their quantity of offspring
• No enforced 'retirement' age
• Don't know that their schooling and education will one day be over

Are horses exempt from external control? Are they free to be happy?  Can they freely express who they are and be themselves? If not, how reasonable are we being species to species to expect them to trust us, reward us, partner with us, perform for us, obey us and succeed for us?

If the above list sounds exaggerated - that would be a good thing for our horses.  It's only when we take a moment to look at the life of our cherished friends using a self made list like the one above, that we can step back and address our horses' first need: that of freedom! Taking stock has got to be a good thing in the long run, its when we fail to stop and observe - that things can go from bad to worse in our own lives and perhaps for our horses too.

Ironically, many humans are drawn to horses because they represent freedom - images of the wind running through their manes and our hair.  Their freedom is an especially enticing one; being full of power, elegance, kindness and nobility.  Surely its time we returned back to them some of those characteristics and let them find more freedom in their daily lives with us.  Helping our horses experience their heritage might allow us to seek more ways to feel free in our lives.  Free from pressure, opression, duty, obligation, and the need to fulfill the expectations of others.

Essy expressed his desire to be free from ridden work and the saddle.  I've honoured that.  Instead we are forming a new partnership in hand and with walks around the Estate.  The benefits for me have been a sense of slowing down, relaxation and more time spent in nature with nature.

So far so good!

Simple Pleasures!

How can you tell if your horse is happy? 

This has to be one of two most important questions we ask ourselves if we keep, ride or care for horses.

Maybe Essy (and Solar Sue) can inspire us to remember the key lies often in simple pleasures life has to offer, that plays to a horse's natural strength i.e. self expression, fun and freedom -both actual and of spirit.

A Spring Bath certainly put a spring back into Essy's hooves (and Solar) - Essy is the one rearing and acting like a spring lamb!

Then a few weeks later a new paddock for turn out and much fun and running was had.

Rest assured no harm was done after Essy's little slip up! At his next massage his back felt better than ever!

Wishes Do Come True...

Last night, a fellow livery friend mentioned she had just been reading 'Essy's wishes' to catch up.

She then said "how much it made her think" which she felt was a good thing.  Specifically she shared with me a change in her own behaviour that resulted from her reading the latest blog.

On arriving at the yard, "instead of going into the stable with the head collar" she said, she decided to "walk in and ask him (her horse) what he would like?"  She then offered him some scratching and the lucky boy was still be scratched as she recounted her tale to me ten minutes later!

I think Essy's wishes is that simple.  His message was 'please see us; a horse - as horses with needs, and feelings, we are not machines, so should be treated accordingly'.  It's so easy to arrive at the stables at the end of the work day, full of purpose and intention to ride, groom, train etc. and miss the important moment to connect first, with  the horse and who he actually is.

'Who is your horse?' can simply mean taking the time to explore what they enjoy?  If every owner, rider, groom approached their horses with the sentiment 'what would you like' today?  Wow! What a shift in energy.  As simple as it sounds, it makes so much sense to invest an 'agenda free' start to your time together with any living creature (or human), and seeing where it takes you both.

As I drove home I reflected on how I could transfer the principle of putting 'others needs first' with my husband, and paying attention to who he is and what his needs might be this evening. 

Once we've connected with our horses why let the journey end there! I'll let you know how that works out!

One thing leads to another...

"DA COSA NASCE COSA" 

Essy's wish for 'horsey humans' to grow in self awareness translates first as a desire to question those things that seem to have ceased to astonish us!  Most of all; who we are, and who is our horse?

Where do we start in discovering us both? 

Things to experiment with ....

- Use yourself as your subject for documentation - document your movements, actions, behaviour and conversations over a day, a week, a weekend.  This is known as the art of 'Self-Ethnography' - the documentation and analysis of the self as a foreign culture.  It means be fascinated in you!

- See your life as a film.  You are the film-maker.  Everything is a source. Your horse is a lead character.  What role would you have him/her play?  What character type must he fulfil?  What part will you play?  What's the beginning, middle and end?  Is there an epic scene?  What tragedy's befall you both?  Who is the hero/heroine?  What emotions and life lessons play out?

- Interact with your horse as if you are someone else! Pretend to be someone else.  What would....... do in a given situation with a horse?  Imagine you are in disguise.

- Alter your routines.  Do things in a different order.  With a different purpose.  Arrive at a different time having taken a different route to the yard/field.  Plan your time, or be totally spontaneous. Observe! Reflect!

- Attempt to see things from as many different angles as possible.  What options you have before you.  What are the many explanations you can come up with (then add another) for your horse doing or not doing something, as expected or desired?

- Use thought experiments. Ask yourself 'what would it be like to be a horse?'  'What would it be like to live in a stall, have someone on my back, jump fences, see behind me, be covered in fur?' Einstein used thought experiments to dream up the theory of relativity - an insight and moment of enlightenment that altered man's view of what was possible, forever!

In summary: Step 1 is about being willing to full experience and study things we don't understand, and to embrace that lack of understanding and enter into the unknown!

"The closer man gets to the unknown, the more inventive he becomes 
- the quicker he adopts new ways" 
 Buckminster Fuller

To be or not to be.... Direct?

One of the fascinations for me with horses is their honesty.  

 The speed with which they give us feedback.  Their ability to not hold grudges.  Their forgiveness.  Their empathy.  Their selfish ability to put their needs first (spook, run, fidget, shake, snort...).  All of which suggests they are masters at  being 'direct'.

You might prefer to think of 'directness' as assertive, forthright or even selfish or rude.  Any of those might fit.  So do you believe that being direct is a good or bad thing?  Do you strive towards being more of it or run away from it?  Is it a quality to be cherished, nurtured, and developed?  Do we secretly enjoy the bravery of others who are it, but punish them outwardly when they do so?  Do we know when we are doing it and with what impact? Does it suit some situations well and others less so? Can we be discerning enough to know the difference?

In my coaching work, whenever someone asks me if they are being 'too direct' its as if they've asked me if I want honesty or only partial honesty.  Why would I want less than the real thing?   The clue is in the use of the word 'too' direct.  For anything to be too much,  too little, too silly, too childish.... implies we are making a comparison.   So, I like to know what is being compared with what? Or with whom and why?

Most of us struggle to be specific about the 'who' or the 'what'.  We end up swimming in a verbal stream of some people don't like it, you lose friends, it makes you seem undiplomatic etc. etc.  This is probably true.  Yet its also true that we could experience all of that by being not direct enough!

At the end of the day people who are direct often have things to say.  Points of view that might be eye opening.   Passionate feelings about something or someone that could inspire action in others.  They may have a vision that will shift paradigms, or a story to tell that touches the heart.

You've probably guessed that I enjoy the company of people who are direct.  It gives me a quick way to decide how much of my time I want to spend hanging out with them.  If only dating had been that easy or interviewing for a job!

A dose of straight up talking has provided me with the most valuable lessons in my adult life so far.  It's given me the choice to face demons, the chance to dig deep and to keep searching for answers and meaning so I could enjoy more of the good things in life.  Most of all some people are here as 'map makers' they create new territories for others to follow if they chose.  No one is forced to follow or listen, but if the map they creates should fall into our hands I highly recommend we take a look at least!

Seven Deadly Sins

It's easy to be critical of others.  It's especially so when others do and say things differently from yourself.

My work with Essy is helping me to tune into things that normally I might not tune into.  As an example I am now acutely aware of the things people say about their horses.  Sadly the tone of most owner/rider comments suggest we have a long way to go on our journey to greater awareness.

Awareness in this case meaning 'being awake' and consciously able to chose the things we say and the things we do.  (If ever we need a quick lesson into sizing up people - just notice what they say - the words and expressions they use.  It will tell you so much about their beliefs and attitude to life).

Awareness also means taking stock of how accountable we are for our actions; do we walk our own talk? It's also about our willingness to challenge ourselves when we hear ourselves say things we don't like or act in a way that doesn't make sense, isn't loving, or isn't in tune with the true nature of horses.

Below are 7 examples of some of the things I've heard over the last few weeks - sadly I'm sure horse lovers everywhere will recognise some if not all of them:

Deadly Sin No. 1:  Being unreasonable
   
One horse owner said to another owner  "No, my horse doesn't get a day off" 

Why?  I wondered. What does 7 days a week achieve? Is that how to be loving towards our horse or appreciative of his/her physical needs?  Don't we take a day off?  How many human athletes do any of us know that train 7 days a week throughout the year?

Deadly Sin No. 2: No common sense

I have heard many a horse owner say something similar to this... "she's lame - but I'll have to crack on as she is behind in her fitness"

Old fashioned sayings about " a stitch in time..." spring to mind!  How many other machines do you know that continue to work well and safely when broken or physically impaired?"  After all horses are machines right!

Deadly Sin No. 3: Abdicating responsibility

Having lived in southern baptist Texas, USA I am accustomed to hearing people say they'll "let God guide them or show them the way".  Rarely do I hear God's direction being used as the excuse for why we follow a particular course of action with our horses.  Yet, for many owners and riders the modern day "God" equivalent is the VET!  When you hear owners explaining "she's lame but the vet wants me to keep working her so that when she goes to the Vet hospital they can see the problem"  I wonder whose horse is it?  As a responsible owner if your vet said hang him up by his hooves would you try?

Does such advise ring true?  Is it really the best advise we can get?  Is it compassionate?  Surely catching something before it gets any worse optimises the horse's chance of recovery and lowers our vets bill?  Let's listen out for egotistical vet speak and find a more instinctive solution.

Deadly Sin No. 4: Sticking to the Agenda regardless

Riders often declare... "she doesn't look right behind or in front, I think ill get on and see how she is under saddle"

Always a safe option - not!, Of course you could  just leave her for a day and revisit the situation tomorrow. It must be too obvious and too simple because it's rarely followed.  More likely is the habit of being sucked into our own agenda of the moment  - "im here to ride, and so ride i will".

Deadly Sin No. 5: Forgetting actions speak louder than words

If I had a £ for every time i've heard someone utter the words... "if only horses could talk and tell us"

...as the horse limps along visibly unsound.  My guess is he is talking loud and clear - question is are we listening? 

Deadly Sin no. 6: Cruel to be kind; sometimes isn't!

A lovely horse owner recently admitted to me that their horse had suddenly been behaving badly - bucking, rearing, napping and refusing to load.  "We think he has ulcers that's why he is in boot camp with the trainer - to 'sort him out'" she said.
Are we really advocating treating a sudden change of behaviour with more ridden work and pressure?  How can a more experienced rider sitting on top, hope to address underlying internal health matters? Is it really easier (never mind right) to push on in such circumstances and force the horse through his issue versus giving him time off to properly diagnose and resolve the internal problem, once and for all?

Deadly Sin no. 7: Believing others know better

At a dressage camp this summer a rider came out of her lesson declaring the trainer had told her "I need to make him more scared of me than he is of the arena"

For a split second there is some logic to that statement.  This split second is however born out of arrogance - that we know better, that we must conquer and defeat the horse.  If we are awake we will realise that comments like this come from an attitude of aggression, oppression, arrogance and dominance.  When did such characteristics ever lead to anything other than war? It is wise to consider such perspectives when offered by others, but let's stay awake long enough to evaluate them for how well they fit with the kind of relationship we want with our horse.  Instead of taking it automatically on board, we could always ask the trainer for some alternatives?  What ideas does he/she have that come from a place of dominion and compassion instead?

Lecturing adults rarely gains follower-ship.  I am aware of that as I write. Yet, I know from my own bitter experience that until we are able to voice record ourselves as we go about our horsey business, then play the recording back to actually hear ourselves ... change doesn't happen.  We don't wake up.  We stay on auto-pilot believing what we've always told ourselves or had others tell us, is true.

It's time to stop, listen and think!  Listen to what we and others say and think (and the beliefs and ideology that lie beneath).  Be curious about the fact that we don't all talk the same way about our horses or riding experience - so what does it mean to have conscious choice over what we say?  How in control of what comes out of our mouths are we? 

I'm certain our horses would appreciate us listening to ourselves a lot more, before we try to become expert at interpreting them.  Who knows it might help us interpret with more accuracy and sincerity.

Put meaning to the saying "Life is a dictionary" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It costs nothing to pay attention to how we talk to, and about our horses - no expensive trainer or vet's call out charge.  As a final thought and to project an image of where I hope we can move away from - a woman spoke to me this week describing her two dressage horses as "this thing" and "the orange thing".  I was shocked.  I felt embarrassed.   I walked quickly away. Surely, this kind of unconscious language that we so easily use is the opposite of 'skilled horsemanship' or 'competitive riding'?

Such a simple throw away comment suggests we in the horse community have a long way to go before we break with traditional mindsets which to me seem  as out of place today, as Latin and embroidery lessons!