Messing with my mind!

Followers of the "law of attraction" will already know that we 'get back what we put out there'! Meaning... our thoughts attract more of what we are thinking about.  This means if you think you never have enough money in the bank, all you will notice is more bills arriving on the door mat, and never enough money in your account!

The wonderful reality being that the reverse is also true!  The good stuff you focus on also increases the more you focus on and believe in it.

If ever I needed a reminder of this vital lesson was last week.

I was due to be in Brussels for a few days, and a couple of days before leaving, had found myself thinking and then...saying out loud that Grace must be getting bored just being ridden in the menage.  She lives out 24 x 7 with her two field buddies in a big 5 acre paddock.  She is ridden 3 - 4 times a week, interspersed with lunging for exercise and Parelli for brain stimulus.  It is a life free from pressure, sweat and complication.  The problem is it's a life free from pressure, sweat and complication!  There in lies the rub!

So back to my trip to Belgium...

Having been away for just one night I woke up to the dreaded 'missed call' alert on my phone from the yard manager.

Grace had jumped out of her field over night.  She had cleared a 7 foot wide gorse hedge with wire fence running over the top and a ditch inside.  By some miracle she appeared uninjured and unscathed.  A few days later, once home I found she was lame and after a few days had it diagnosed as a shoulder muscle pull.  (One massage later and 2 weeks of box rest and she recovered just fine).

My horror, absence and geographical distance meant I could do nothing except worry for several hours until I could regain some control of my thoughts at all the 'what could have happened' scenarios.  Given that the hedge also travels the length of a busy road, I had to be very grateful that she hadn't jumped in that direction.

Where had this sudden desire to jump come from?  Why now?  Why when I am away?  Why? Why? Why? (You can hear the pity me party setting in...and no end of Belgium Waffles could conquer it)!

It didn't help that only 4 days earlier the vet had put an elastic band around the Sarcoid under her sternum and I was under strict instructions for her not to stretch, roll, and do any big movement that could result in the band 'pinging off'.  Jumping 7 foot wide hedges definitely wasn't on the list of things to do!

So what does it all mean?  My instincts know she is bored.  One of her field mates is pregnant and the other is 10 years older than Grace so whilst they are a close knit herd, maybe life isn't as much fun as Grace would like!  To my human eye it seems like pretty good life if you are a horse, but then I'm not a horse and Grace seems keen to remind me of that!

What are my conclusions?

1. Listen to your instincts and if you sense boredom for your horse in their work routine, it probably is real!

2  Horses may need to have fun!  Maybe that means variety, maybe mental stimulation, maybe trips out, adventure - possibly all of the above!

3.  We are deeply connected with our horses.  The truth is that for the last 2 weeks I too have been incredibly grumpy due to boredom in my work.  My brain isn't being challenged, and each day has felt like a repeat of the day before -  like the scene from Ground Hog day!

4. Pity party's ('why me, why when I'm away') serve absolutely no purpose at all! They simply don't help.

5. Celebrating and being grateful for the fact she wasn't badly hurt, lost or worse is an important coping strategy.

6.  Let go and accept!  Shit happens, but when it happens and you are away, and can physically do nothing, there is only one option left to you; to let go and accept things will be ok.

January will start with a new plan of action and activities for Grace and I only hope it will please her and keep her in her field.   God forbid she finds ME boring and puts in another obvious complaint!
 

To Smack or not to smack

It's recently become 'taboo' to smack your child.  We owe our dependents respect, a nurturing environment and a gentler way! Yet it's ok to whip, spur or smack our horse?

Of course it's not ok,  but there is no enforcement or public outcry if we do!  Surely that can't be right?

This post is not actually about smacking... Usually the human motive behind any 'smack' is fear and worry not some sort of enjoyment of smacking for smacking sake!  We lash out in fear in order to protect - ourself or others!

Often the trigger with our horses is old fashioned disobedience.  In today's increasingly politically correct society the mere word obedience, and disobedience is outcast; frowned upon. There is a growing movement and increasingly loud voice through Social Media populating the notion that we must not think of wanting obedience from our children or our horses.

Yet surely there is a time and a place for obedience?

I know from first hand experience that when I am out hacking on a horse, to keep us both safe, I need to be able to move his / her rear end left towards the kerbside, away from passing cars and on command! My command!   I have no problem describing this as "obedience", and see no point glossing it up as anything else.

Obedience for the sake of it, delivered for the sake of it, with an intention of ruling, controlling, dominating,  punishing or oppressing another living creature I won't ever subscribe to.  Obedience when it is for safety sake - I can! 

As I'm not into labels and try to avoid traps of self deception, I'll keep using the word obedience and not disguise it as willingness, connection or anything else to make some people agree with me, after all we all have the right to disagree - and so do our horses!  Oops what does that mean for the supporters of obedience? Complicated when you start to think of it isn't it....?

My 3 Communication Ingredients

Are you receiving me loud and clear?

The purpose of communication and communicating is to be understood, right?  Meaning to get your message across AND in the way you INTENDED!  

When you think about that - just how easy is it to be accurately understood, just as you intended 100% of the time?  What about 50% of the time?  Truth is its hard to achieve some of the time, never mind all of the time!  So much  can go wrong, just think about how often we misread an email, text or what's app message, or have others misread ours!

Given that between human beings communication often results in us being misunderstood, mis-represented, not listened to, or not believed.... what can we do to increase our chances of getting our views and needs across accurately and consistently?

Studies carried out in the 1960's suggest that in order to effectively get our message across we need to use 3 ingredients, in unison:

words + tone of voice +  facial expressions ...

- they must all convey the same message at the same time!

Malhrabian Studies

So, if  you say the words "that sounds exciting" but you look bored and use a dull, flat tone of voice - chances are you wont convince anyone that you meant what you said!  The other person's response, (always the true test of if we have been understood as intended), is that we get a reaction that can be aggressive, hurt or out to kill us! 

"You're just saying that" or "You're not even listening to me" - etc etc.  Sound familiar?  

In reality it is hard to get all three ingredients together in the right quantity, at the right consistency and at the right time.

So turning to human and horse communication, how do we begin to communicate with them?  Is it more difficult or easy?  Are there 3 ingredients and if so are they the same?

I think communicating with horses entails:

Intention + Tone of Voice + Facial expressions + Breathing 

Plus a dose of good timing = the Communication Recipe!

My personal teacher about how to communicate with my own horses is of course the horses themselves! From them I have learned that in order to follow the above recipe you do in fact need 3 key ingredients and the first is:-

1. ) Vary your communication to suit the needs of each horse!

It's a bit like deciding "do i phone my friend to talk this topic through?'  "Do I email my thoughts to her or do I wait till I'm face to face with her?"  Which will give me the best shot at avoiding misunderstandings?

Take my three horses.  Grace does not respond to pressure or force.   The more pressure and force you apply the more resistance she throws at you.  Essy needs to know that you mean what you say and say what you mean and will spot any weakness in your point of view! He has a very strong sense of 'what is fair' and what is not and will let you know in an instant.  Solar Sue will oblige providing it aligns with what she was planning to do anyway!

Regarding ingredient number 2....

When I would like to ride Grace I have a 50/50 chance that she agrees it's a good idea!  On the days she doesn't feel like it she'll back up as I put one foot in the stirrup, go forwards or swing her hind end away from the mounting block.  As I am only 5" 4 and she is 17.1/2 hh I don't have the leg length to mount from the floor so this 'dance' can go on for quite some time! On occasions I have given up (sometimes in tears).

With some reflection and with some renewed perspective, I see that such moments are there to remind me I have choices about how to respond.  Ingredient number 2...

2. ) Chose your response!

To keep things simple, when Grace doesn't want me to mount her, and before the tears well up in me, and I feel all helpless I have two basic choices available to me (there may be more, but lets work with two for now):

Choice 1

Be firm! MAKE her stand still so I can mount

In other words dominate, use pressure, force, whatever it takes to get what i want.  That is certainly one way of meaning what you say and saying what you mean, but is it communication?  Is it both parties listening to each other, and hearing each other?  For me the answer is no!  It is ONE party over riding the others views.  In my book that's the mark of a bully!

For some people that might be an acceptable communication style.  For some horses it might be acceptable, especially if they are emotionally 'shut down'.

For me, its not acceptable with my horses.  It certainly hasn't  proved to be acceptable for Grace either as 2 of my 3 unplanned dismounts have been within seconds of me mounting her, against her (clearly expressed) wishes - if only I'd been listening to her, instead myself!

Choice 2

Listen and seek to understand, not be understood!

Stephen Covey in his work on 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, focuses on 'seeking to understand (others)' - 'before being understood' (by them). It reverses the focus and is a powerful concept following the principle of putting your audiences needs above your own.

With Grace, this can mean taking however long it takes for us to find an understanding, to reach a level of true communication, so that I can mount.

The truth is that every time Grace moves away as I mount she's saying "I'm not ready to have you on my back".  She is clearly communicating 'no thanks' or 'not now' or something along those lines.  If I chose to show I'm listening to her, really listening then I'll be willing to not ride at all that day, take her and do something else and come back to try mounting again later, or vary the way in which I make my request, (ingredient number 1).

I like to also remember that there are consequences for pushing on with my message, and refusing to listen to my audience (Grace).  As just mentioned, 2 of my 3 falls have been within seconds of mounting her when she made it very clear she wasn't 'ready'!   What better example of consequence is there?

In terms of impact on me those falls have equated to an adverse impact financially (if I can't work), physically (i.e. pain)  and emotionally (i.e. confidence loss), all in one misread communication!

That sure made me wake up to smell the roses!

Ingredient number 3:

3. ) Think through consequences and impacts of your communication!

If I persist in mounting there and then by using force and shoving Grace in the menage corner, or getting someone to hold her still so I can get on, I'm showing her that   "I'M NOT LISTENING", "I DON'T UNDERSTAND " or  " I don't want to understand her needs and feelings"

For sure choice number 2 is fraught with frustration - just as anytime when when we can't get our point across, at work or home, or can't get our own way.

I admit it won't necessarily produce quick results in the short term, compared to those how have more time in the saddle because they choose option 1 and 'made' it happen.

However, I believe that longer term the benefits of following choice number 2 (with Grace) are numerous: more trust, more mutual respect and more willingness to work as a team.  Not to mention more personal safety!

Maybe ultimately that gets you to the same end goal as other riders have, just from a slower starting point.  We shall see, and I'm certainly no expert in these matters, but I sense my horses are!

Reminds me of the Hare and the Tortoise story

In summary, my 3 x C's for effective human and horse communication go like this:

Communicate differently with each horse you work with; respecting them as individuals

Choose your response, don't just react, to unsuccessful communication or frustration

Consider consequences and impacts of your communication so you pursue your point of view wisely

I have found myself many times, standing at the mounting block for half an hour waiting for Grace and I to be in sync and in agreement about me getting on, now, today.

I have gone home at the end of a long work day, in tears unable to mount my horse and unable to have my riding time, while everybody else seemingly is! (Pity party time)! 

I have got in a right strop and stomped back to the stable to put Grace away in disgust showing no compassion and fueled by embarrassment and feelings of defeatism.

I now know, that in those moments I need to STOP!   I need to assess the situation and THINK about what I do next, and NOT what  I want?

I have learned NOT to be driven by my watch, my "I only have 40 minutes before I have to go" excuses that justify me making a bad choice of how to communicate.

I have learned that being safe, and being smart and preserving the relationship is far better than a 30 minute ride, wondering with every stride, at what moment she's 'going to let me have it as payback for choosing option 1 above!!  

Payback from a 17.1hh warm blood with attitude has resulted in me being in A&E and whatever 'urgent' appointment I had that made me chose unwisely  - was missed anyway! Big picture not little picture is the name of the game and one well worth remembering, in my experience.

When something truely Amazing happens..

I started this blog with a title of ....

I was lost and now I am found

As I typed the title it felt familiar so I googled it and found that its the lyric from a song but not any old song - it's from Amazing Grace!

This post is about Grace! "How amazing" I said out loud.  Then laughed - amazing as in amazing Grace!  Oh stop!

Today, Grace and I had a Parelli session with Vicky Manser - our first in over a year.  How time flies!

We began with me summarising the events of the last year, Grace's feral behaviour and massive separation anxiety that led me to stop riding, lunging, doing Parelli or anything with her, finding her unsafe to be around.  That's it in a nutshell.  I described feeling like I'd lost my horse, and the aim of today was to re-start the journey to find her again.

It's not often in life that we achieve our goals, its even more rare to do so exactly when you want it or need it.  But today, that goal of finding Grace happened!  In 90 minutes Grace and I were home....together!

 

I know that sometimes we have to get lost, stray, deviate off course, in order to discover new paths, to return to something better  - and today has been a massive reminder of the value of that.  

Today I remembered and learned all at the same time ... 

• Not to dwell on the past, or the feeling of having wasted (lost) a year of progress. 

The past is the past and nothing more.  

Today was better than yesterday and that's a good place to be!

• To recognise the difference between observing a horse and listening to them.  I've been watching Grace but not listening to her.  As the song say:-

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me!

I once was lost, but now am found;

Was blind, but now I see.

(see recent post on simplicity - we need to use both our eyes and our ears)
 

• To get connection work with the very moment of distraction (the object of my frustration) - that's my cue to change direction, pace, and help Grace to focus back inside the menage and back on me.

•  If fear is the focus of my thoughts then fear is all I'll feel.  My head and heart needs to chose to remember trust and joy as equal opposites.

’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear;

And grace my fears relieved;

How precious did that grace appear

The hour I first believed.

• When I'm in 'blame' mode I'm not thinking!  If I'm not taking responsibility then why should Grace?

It took less than an hour of walking around the menage, mirroring pace and energy, working with distraction, to have a calm, relaxed Grace - the old Grace, back!  Soft eyes, droopy lower lip, licking and chewing.  Everything that dreams are made of when all you want is to just "be at one with your horse". 

Grace August 5th 2015

So many highlights from today!

Having Grace lick my hands, gently, with such softness - a nice change from grabbing at me and biting.

Seeing Grace think, process, reflect and soften with the brain work, stimulation, and presumably enjoyment of some shared leadership for a change! 

Listening to Grace sigh with relaxation not boredom. 

Finding myself having a thought and saying out loud to Vicky "I don't know if this is my thought or Grace's thought but I think "I've just come home"   - at which point Grace stepped forward with a lowered head and neck and literally nestled into my body and stayed there.   Feedback that it was her idea not mine and I think i just had my first experience of sensing a horses's thoughts!

 

 

Through many dangers, toils and snares,

I have already come

’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,

And grace will lead me home.

Realising that both she and I had been lost was the biggest 'ah ha' of the day.  How can I expect her to return if im not there myself?   How can I expect her to go (emotionally speaking) to any place where I can't get to myself?  The logic of it should hit us hard.  If logic isn't enough, I hope everyone reading this blog has an experience similar to mine today.  

Parelli has been a foundation.  A set of bricks that were in place, then got ignored but sit there still strong and sure.  It is NOT about doing the exercises and using the techniques.  It IS about listening to the horse infront of you and selecting tools to suit the needs of that moment.  

Today I have a lot to be grateful for...

• Thank goodness Grace and I got lost.

• Thank goodness we are found again (or well on our way at least)!

Beauty in simplicity

Essy August 5th 2015

What is it about a horse's ears and eye that cast such a spell?

Essy

There's a spiritual solution out there...

I am borrowing these words from Dr Wayne Dyer who said ...

"there is a spiritual solution to every problem"

I wasn't entirely sure what he meant when I first read his words, so I bought the DVD, sat down with a strong cuppa and braced myself!

Half way through the DVD it struck me!  "I saw the light" - or rather I heard a voice in my head giving myself a big old kick up the bum - a metaphorical slap around the face for being so blind. Not a very spiritual interpretation by me but then this post is not about religion, God, Alah or any other source of following. It is about believing in yourself and that it'll all be ok!

So, why did  I watch this video?  Was there a problem I needed a solution for?

I had just started riding Grace again, after 7 months of not - (long story why the time off).  Just as I was back in the saddle, the lump she'd had for over a year by her girth had a growing spurt and was diagnosed as a sarcoid. Every horse owners dread!

Worse, it was now plum center under her girth area. Great! 

The sarcoid has been frozen (twice) and so no riding as she was sore and twitchy there if touched!

The vet suggested I ride, so my only solution was bareback!  Now where did that idea come from given I have to have my big brave Bridget Jones knickers on to rider her at all? 

Given my track record with Grace, a few hairy falls, and noting her size and power, I was back faced with the prospect of no more riding till the sarcoid had shrunk, dropped off or miraculously vanished (assuming a miracle or two can be reeled in on demand the way Essy's  lump fell off over night).

       ... "2 steps forwards; 1 step back"

my mother always says, and at times I can see why!

Of course whether or not to ride was only the surface issue, it wasn't the real problem.  It took another horse coming along for me to realise that...

Coco - a charming 6 year old dark bay thoroughbred was for sale. I'd ridden her and liked her.  More importantly she and Grace were great field buddies, Grace's friendship towards little Coco had allowed the rest of the field herd to accept young Coco into the gang - albeit on condition she hung out only with Grace!

I spent a long weekend debating whether or not to buy Coco and welcome her officially into our herd.  I was unexpectedly shocked by my own feelings of betrayal towards Grace as I conceptualised a summer of riding a horse I could actually wrap my legs around!

The strength of feeling of betrayal to Grace spurred me on to consider some questions about the real truth of my "on, off riding journey" with Grace.

The truth is Grace as a horse, is no different from the day I bought her, except a little larger and 4 years older. We actually share many similar character traits (not all of which are helpful) ...

impatience, 

opinionated,  

easily bored and distracted, 

a need to feel safe, 
dislike of pressure,
hatred of routine
need for a clear sense of purpose,

a magnet for others who then won't leave your side!

.... i'll stop there for now!

What is different since I bought Grace is that I have realised I am not a good rider. I've realised I am boxing above my weight and am 'out-horsed' by Grace.  However, that is an ego centric way to look at it.  Its a perspective that when I wallow in leaves me feeling low in confidence which isn't helpful to either of us.

There is a helpful and intriguing alternative perspective which is to realise that maybe Grace and I are on a joint journey of self discovery and can help each other explore some emotions that otherwise might be left buried in the back of the stable.

Now I just have to figure out what those 'emotions' are - their significance to my riding and the person my horses continue to guide me towards becoming!

The moral of this story is more than looking for silver linings.  It's about trusting that whatever path you are on, no matter how lumpy and bumpy it is, that it will be the right path!  How we chose to look at that path and think about it will define what we encounter next and the experience we have with it. 

I'm looking forward to putting my thoughts to the test back in the menage.  

Stone Age Man Knew What was What

Short and Sweet....

In today's Telegraph there is an editorial piece about the discovery in 1994 of cave paintings in France, dating back 35,000 years ago.

The artwork is terrific.  The artist's (i.e. caveman's) understanding of muscle, movement, power, energy and motion is evident.  I'm no artist to speak of such matters but the eye doesn't lie!

Compared to today's art it suggests man knew everything he needed to know about art so you've got to wonder 'how much have we learnt since then?'

Which raises a bigger question about how much we have really advanced at all as a species.  Of course I will be shouted down amongst the reams of technological, industrial, biochemical advancements and discoveries.  Yet my quest is more about how much our inner eye has advanced?  How much our ability to resonate and connect with nature, it's power and it's beauty - has advanced? 

Looking at how we live amongst horses today compared to how the cave man must have interacted with the Equine suggests if our knowledge has increased our respect has not.  We act these days as if our discoveries about the 'nature of the horse' is some big revelation.  Things like:-

•         horses don't like closed spaces, 
•         horses don't like loud man made noises, 
•         horses need company and deteriorate if lonely  
•         horses don't do well on years of vaccines, man made feeds, chemical sprayed crops etc.
•         horses feet don't need shoes to be healthy and functioning

Shame on us if we didn't already know this using our instinct, compassion, good old fashioned observation or common sense.

I am sure we have progressed intellectually leaps and bounds, but I am not so sure that our inner spirit has followed suit.  What the Chinese and Ancients new as a given; we have lost.  Even the teachings of religion hold little weight of respect today used instead to wield claims of 'injustice' to defend our right to attack!

Whilst many scoff at the rise of 'self help' books, courses and events encompassing the 'new age' Movement  - I embrace it heart and soul for it's role in helping us to return to what we once knew and understood.

I for one applaud the cave man's insight, foresight and eyesight!  Their artwork leaves a legacy - to remind us of what lies within, at our most basic DNA level of 'homosapien man' - namely our ability to create, inspire and express what we see, to live on for thousands of years.

I hope we can re-discover our respect for nature, marvel at its power and vulnerability to keep it safe for future generations.

The Art of Non Interference

"Do or do not. There is no try"  

 

- Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

During the winter months taking hay to hungry neglected horses you wouldn't be human if on occasion you don't feel some anger at the situation these horse are in because of other humans.  You find yourself thinking uncharitable thoughts like:-

"How come someone owns these horses but has shirked their responsibility?"

"if I abandoned my horses, I bet I wouldn't be so lucky to have someone else pick up the responsibility and cost for feeding them!"

You know its uncharitable, but you can't help but feel the injustice as some people sail through life casting their responsibilities aside (lucky enough to have horses in the first place), whilst others pick up more than their fair share of duty and obligation in their wake.

No one likes a moaner and least of all a self righteous one, or a victim but I began to wonder if acting with the right intention was enough, or was I in some way facilitating another person's negligence?  I began to wonder:-

"How can I feed these horses, and at the same time help the owner wake up to his responsibilities?"

The key was to find a way to help those in need (the field of 12 in this case) whilst somehow helping the owner to step up too!

I puzzled for hours, and discussed it with others much wiser than myself, but I couldn't come up with any bright ideas.  No reverse psychology seemed to fit the situation.

Then, suddenly I didn't have to!

Quite literally, as I mulled on this dilemma over and over,  questioning the sustainability of my actions, the owner suddenly began feeding hay to his horses!  He has continued to do so once a week ever since, including today.

I know horse people will crow that 'once a week isn't enough',  however, it is a lot of hay he puts in the field each time and it does last them 3 to 4 days. And, after all...

Small seeds grow into strong trees (or something like that)

How did this suddenly happen?  What did I do and what can I share to others who find themselves caught in the same emotional trap?

The answer is "NOTHING!"

For most of us, our default approach to life and problems is about doing something, taking action or making someone else do something or take action!  The solution in this case seemed to come from the reverse.  It came from a place of doing nothing. 

What do I mean?

Both this herd of horses and my own herd of three seem to be teaching me the value and importance of non action.  Doing nothing almost forces you to step back from the scenery and see the whole landscape! (Its surely a great goal in life to see more of the landscape every time we stop to look).

I am learning that to do nothing when normally I would do something, means I have to be in a place of acceptance.  I have to let go.  I have to stop trying to control or interfere.  Just think for a moment how hard this is as a concept to live by.  Someone cuts you up on the road and you .... accept it and let him/her go without reprisal!  Your boss at work gives you a hard time without merit and you ... step back to look beyond the hurt and anger, to see what lessons you can learn.  A close friend breaks an important commitment to you and you... look at it from their perspective not yours. 

You'd have to be Mother Theresa right?

Maybe, or maybe not!

If action junkies like myself living as my music teacher described just yesterday "at such a high octane level" - can pause and stop, then anyone can! 

In the road rage, or badly behaving boss situation we accept through compassion.  In the friendship scenario, we see the landscape when we wish to be of service to that friend, unconditionally.

It seemed that the more I let my feelings of anger towards the herd's owner slip away and not hold me in it's grip, and the more I thought about offering love and help to the horses, instead of anger at their plight, the more the owner's thinking shifted too. 

Is it possible that when we change our thinking the world responds also?  Is it possible that sending out feelings of love, compassion, support and kindness reaps more of the same in return? 

All that I did was let go of feelings of wrong doing, and betrayal, replacing them with love and belief that it would all be ok, and it was ok!

I am an amateur in the world of non interference and doing nothing.  I make no claims of a grand vision or euphoric sense of enlightenment.  I am more curious than ever about what's recently been happening and how these horses have shown up in my life and in return are showing me how to lead a better life.

What I can confess is that this is not a new phenomena for me.

As I've matured in my business behaviour at work over the years, I've learnt many times the value of doing nothing, letting an email just sit for a while before responding, or letting a fire burn itself out without my adding any fuel on top! 

At home I've learnt the importance of extracting myself from a verbal battle, to find a calm spot, focus on what is really important and dig deep into the underlying paranoia driving my extreme outbursts.  Returning to the conversation to understand versus score points.

I just never realised before now that centring on giving yourself some inner peace, feeling what you feel but not always acting upon that feeling, and having the choice to do so or not, is  a vibrant way to live.

Maybe like fire flies at night, if we go there first - to a better place of thought and feeling, then we can become a vibrant light, a beacon for others to follow too?

In the Bible Mathew told us to  "love thine enemy".  Sometimes that ship has sailed on by and I can't promise to feel that for the owner of the herd of 12, however, I do believe what Barbara DeAngelis said:-

We can't save people.

We can only love them.

But that love is enough.

And, as Willa Cather said:-

"Where there is great love, there are always miracles".

I continue to believe in miracles and am now on the look out for them more and more each day.

The World Is A Safe Place!

Do you have those moments where you don't believe what you are seeing?

Do you know that feeling when you watch something happening in front of you and think 'any moment now someone is going to jump out with a camera saying "smile you are on TV?"'.... It happened to me last week!

I was driving past the field of 12 neglected horses (see earlier posts;Kindness or turn a blind eye and Charity support down, Angels on the up), when I couldn't believe my own eyes!  All the horses were gathered quietly together, heads down in feed buckets... EATING!

Horsey people who have witnessed horses being neglected and left in fields will know the significance of this find, and understand my shock.  I drove home, dumped the car, then ran back down the road to the field.  I needed to watch and study. 

Like an undercover spy on a stakeout I hid in the hedgerow and watched.  I could see two people, walking between the horses, a man and a woman.  Its funny how by just watching how people walk and stand you can tell they are 'ok', safe to approach.   It was clear that they were familiar with horses and comfortable around them.  They had spread the buckets out at a safe distance and there was a peaceful atmosphere about the herd. 

There and then I decided I was going to go over and meet these people - whoever they were.  I ran back home, got the car and drove round to where I had recently been accessing the field out of view of the road.

A small car was parked where I park!  I climbed the gate as they were walking back and we met. 

A couple of hours later after a lot of like minded talking, we arranged to meet again - same time, same place the next day.

Turned out we had a lot in common:

- a love of horses
- our own horses
- a desire to help neglected, hungry horses
-a sense of despair and frustration at the lack of resource and hope provided by animal Charitys
-a desire to open our own 'rescue centres' if and when funds allow

etc etc.

More than that we also had a shared sense of  compassion towards animals.  We all had connections to Reiki and healing and our own stories about the amazing synchronicity of life when you are on the 'right path', such as now and finding each other helping these horses. 

Before this encounter neither of us knew of each other's existance.  Independently we had thought we were the only ones doing something! 

It just goest to show you never quite know what you DONT see!  Eyes wide shut kind of concept!  It's amazing to me, given how many times a day I pass this field, that  I never saw these people in there before.  But, nothing happens until the time is right and we are in the 'right emotional, mental space' to see it and learn from it.

What else is right infront of us waiting to be discovered?

Every day since, this chance encounter, this mother and son have turned up with 12 buckets of feed including stud mix for the pregnant mares. They arrive with haylage and spread that out for the horses.  Every day!

Seems that they used to watch and feed these horses, then, to use their words, they 'took their eye off them' and were helping another field of horses.  They had only recently  come by the field again and seen the condition of the horses. Even more weird - the day that the grey horse was shot by the RSPCA one of these two kind souls was actually there, with the mare and cried buckets for her needless loss. 

Small world!

So, I had seen these people before, I just didn't actually SEE them!  If you know what I mean!  In the heat of emotion of a horse's life ending, its amazing where our senses and emotions turn and what else they blind us to.  Anger, rage, loss, despair blind us to the love and compassion that is there at the same time!

Quote from The World Is a Safe Place by Jim White

This chance encounter has restored my faith in people and  in mankind.  I used this example in a conversation with a friend on the phone last night.  I was trying to find words to explain how I am learning (these last few months) that as Lao Tzu says ...

"you have to know darkness in order to enjoy light" 

(this is my translation of his words) 

Without darkness, bad, evil, or problems, there can be no opposite; light, goodness, kindness, and solutions.  We have to push through the darkness, create our own path with the right intentions behind it, and have faith that the light will be there to shine when we come out the other side.    

My experiences over the last 3 months suggest that I'm not sure you actually have to have a lot of faith in the first place, but perhaps as long as you have compassion and respect for life, faith will find you!   

There is an inspirational book called The World Is A Safe Place by Jim White, from whom I have taken the title of this post.  Its a great inspirational read of images, quotes and concepts.  It's based on a true story. 

www.theworldisasafeplace.com

Here are just a few of the powerfully thought provoking images and messages you'll find on the website and in his book.

Over the last 3 weeks, I've posted a lot about one thing: MIRACLES!  Be that the health issues with myself and my mother, that have miraculously fixed, healed or simply disappeared.  Or the miraculous amount of help offered by total strangers to help me feed horses in need.  Finally the miracle of the World being a Safe Place.  

Other amazing things are happening right now, which i'll share as they unfold.  I for one, never expected to be writing about miracles, let alone believing in them!

Charity support down - Angels on the up!

When I posted on Face book for help to see if anyone could donate unwanted hay for a field of 12 underfed, very hungry horses, several of whom are pregnant, my expectations were low.

Elderly Mare struggling in the hock deep mud

I posted that day in February this year,  because a week later I was going on holiday for 2 weeks and I was beginning to panic about them going without food if I wasn't around to feed them, or leave them enough.

I posted on Sunday night around 9pm.  Within an hour over 20 people had responded. By the next morning it was over 30!  In summary each person responded either offering:-

 - Support and encouragement to me for trying to help these horses
or
- To donate hay
or
- To donate money for hay

I had one woman living near Leicester offer to fund a local hay supplier to deliver hay!  I had another woman offer to drop a bale round at my home.  I had offers from horse owners willing to bag up wasted / uneaten hay - which I did then go and collect. Even a hay producer offered a discount on big haylage bales, and a decent delivery rate. Most miraculous of all, I had 4 women all independently contact me offering to give a home to one horse each, if I could get the horses out.

Wow!  I was gobsmacked, I began to realise....

There is a God! 

There are real living Angels right around the corner!

There is mercy, compassion and a strong sense of humanity in fellow humans

....  just when I was beginning to doubt all of the above!

It's funny how if you kick start something off, you then suddenly become the Leader on that topic.  As people direct messaged me over the next few days with offer of help, I also got lots of questions about the horses, their location, their history, requests to know what my plans were, details of charities I should contact.  I quickly felt the growing weight of responsibility.  It was suddenly as if these horses were now in the spotlight and so was I.  All my doing of course.

Amidst the offers of help, there were some well intentioned warnings to be careful, to stay away, and to avoid getting into any danger with any owners, suspected by most to be Gypsies.

It is true, I had moments of thinking, 'walk away', 'this isn't my problem', 'don't endanger my home, and my own horses etc'.  But those, moments were always quickly overshadowed.

How? Simples!  Seeing these horses faces, every day, so grateful for food, kindness and help was the only voice I could hear amidst the social media crowd.

Suffice it to say, the ensuing week got a bit weird!  The chronology went like this:-

Sunday night I posted on Face book.

Monday afternoon, I had loaded up my car boot with hay to take to the field of 9 and the field of 12.  As I approached the field of 12, two blokes with a trailer were there!  I hesitated for a brief second, frozen by an inner voice urging me to 'drive on by' versus  'this is your chance to stop and talk to them'.   I braked, stopped and wound down the window.

I took the 'be charming' approach which softened the big guy who proudly proclaiming he owned all 12 of the horses.  He defensively told me it was 'hard to keep the weight on them in the winter' and I bit my desire to say 'not if you feed them it isn't'!!  I told him I was aware the RSPCA had put a number of his horses down.  He denied it, and right there I got all I needed in terms of the measure of the man and his honesty!  The conversation ended with him saying that he was delivering hay for them right now, in the trailer.

As the traffic behind me was now building up, I excused myself and drove on. Two hours later I returned to check he had delivered the hay.  He had NOT. No hay, no food. A 'fob off'.  I was mad and pleased I had stopped to talk to him.  Now there could be no escaping the sad truth that the welfare of his horses was not his prime concern.  So, it will become mine!

Tuesday,  I parked up again to deliver the contents of my car - now stuffed like a sausage with hay, kindly donated by a woman near Bucklebury which I had picked up Monday afternoon.

I unloaded on the roadside. I was just done when the guy (owner) from the day before pulled up behind me!  I drove off quick sticks, feeling like a naughty school girl caught behind the bike sheds (only I went to an all girls school so make of that what you will)!

Why he came I have no idea, as again he left no hay.

Wednesday, a friend returned with me, as she had volunteered to deliver hay whilst I was on holiday.  We were to stash a supply of hay in another field opposite which she could then easily access.   Again as we had finished throwing hay over the fence, a pick up pulled up with a big bale of hay on its back!

We drove off again, quick to avoid any awkward conversations about being 'interfering nosey parkers' etc.

Later that day I can't tell you the relief I felt when I drove past again and saw at last a massive bale of hay. Presumably it was the one on the back of the pick up from earlier that day.

Thursday I had one more mission to complete - to collect a massive supply of unwanted hay being donated following my appeal. It was such a great supply - a stable full, that  it would keep the herd going after my holiday,  till the spring grass came through.

Already feeling like I'd won the lottery, I then had time donated by my yard manager to help me load and collect the hay, plus two other friends.  None of them had a vested interest beyond helping horses in need.  Everyday Angels were appearing from every corner!

It was an afternoons work to load it all and unload it all again, but it was good hard work with a very satisfying feeling.

Now I could go on holiday, knowing I'd done all I could, I had people watching while I was gone, and I had a good supply of food awaiting my return.

It seems good people are everywhere and maybe good will out weigh bad!

Little did I know the situation had an even happier series of events around the corner...!

Kindness or Turn a Blind Eye?

Winter can be tough on the body as well as our stable bills but what about its' impact on our soul?  

I've always loved winter - the earthy smells, nature's changing colour-scheme and heart warming soups and roasts.  I love long woolly cardigans and gloves that stop me biting my nails!

Winter signals a time of 'slowing down' from my usually restless spirit until January 1st arrives, when the dawn of a new year allows me to awaken like a puppy, full of the joys of possibility.

Just as within a John Wyndham novel that awakening has consequences positive or otherwise, but definitely unexpected!

This winter introduced a new challenge which has made me wonder how I haven't faced it in the past? It seems that if you don't open your eyes and look around you - you won't see beyond the end of your nose!  What you see isn't always attractive, but we must get better at looking!

It was mid December last year when during a regular Sunday walk to buy the papers, I caught a glimpse of a small herd of black ponies in a field that I'd never noticed there before.  I peered through the hedgerow but they were too far away for me to see clearly.

Over the next few days, I slowed down each time I drove past the field trying to get a better view. 

As Christmas approached I kept wondering whose they were and who was looking after them?   During another Sunday morning walk,  I noticed they were close to the fence bordering a car park of the local pub.  I walked over to take a closer look.

They were a small herd of four ponies, including a foal.  They wore head collars and one of them wore a rug.  They didn't seem to be abandoned, yet where was the owner? 

The more I looked around the more I realised  they had no water, and no actual grazing.  The field was not fit for animals to be on, the terrain was horrendous - with massive ruts not a part of it was flat.  Worse, they were walking and climbing amongst pub debris - pint glasses, glass bottles, cans, wine bottles the like of which I've never seen!

The litter was horrific!  These barefoot horses were walking amongst a death trap!  They were covered in gorse bushes, burrs, wild Hawthorne branches hanging from their tails.  It was a sad and sorry sight.

They were not feral, and eagerly met me at the fence line - when I say fence it was rusty strands of barbed wire, posts with nails sticking out into (field side).  Another mountain of disasters waiting to happen. 

I could see one of the ponies - in fact a young stallion about 3 in age, had horrendously neglected feet.  The more I looked the more I disliked what I saw.  To be honest, I can see why people walk away - better to not know and pretend it's not happening!  I know, I felt the same way; helpless and ashamed of my fellow humans.

 

More and more the ponies spent time by the pub car park.  One morning as I went to talk to them, a woman appeared from inside the pub and asked me if they were mine?

I felt outraged that anyone would think I would keep my horses in such a place and state!  She was not horsey, but very emotional and upset about the ponies, she had a heart the size of Texas and wanted to know what she could do to help them.

Everything changed in that conversation.

She had been phoning the RSPCA daily to report these sad and hungry looking ponies.  She was not a horsey person, yet she was willing to take action and do something!   It was clear to me that I was a horsey person, so I could do a lot more and it was now time to do so.  

I bought a massive red tub truck and three 25 litre water carriers.  I went back to the field the same day and dragged 70 litres of water into the field for them to drink.  They drank and drank and drank. 

So my new weekly routine began.... it started with just trips with water, but then I began to buy hay.  They were so appreciative, and so hungry.

January saw temperatures plummet into the minuses and no way I could keep driving by pretending it wasn't my problem, or my responsibility.  Bottom line, while I had means to deliver and funds to buy food and water, why wouldn't I help them?

If not me then who?  

If not now, then when?

I spent another Sunday clearing out the bottles and glasses from the field, and took it all to the tip.  Each weekend I had to re do the exercise but the pub kindly let me tip my stuffed full bin liners of glass into their big dump bins which was a big help.

The lady from the pub and I became friends.  We divided duties; I was on food and water duties, she was on RSPCA hounding duties.  Eventually, the RSPCA did arrive, said they could do nothing and left!

On a more positive note the World Horse Welfare then arrived and left their business card.  Long story short, over the next 3 weeks, the World Horse Welfare did come back and check on the ponies, of course their advise was to stop feeding and watering the horses but that's like telling someone to walk past a neighbour in need - no way JOSE - my friend and I were united in keeping doing what we were doing.

Just as I was getting into a regular pattern of building my new routine into an already busy day, 4 more ponies arrived in the same field! Horsey people had warned me this would happen, but it was still a shock when it did!

Yikes, now there were 8 hungry mouths to feed!

Sadly, only a couple of days later and the Horse Welfare guy had a conversation with a 'man' in the car park,  who said 3 of the original 4 were his.  He said he would be taking those 3 away, and within a couple of days they were gone.  I happened to be driving by as the 3 were shoved into a two horse trailer and seeing the face of the foal staring out before the ramp went up was a heart wrenching image.  I hated feeling unable to help or do anything. 

This left the little stallion and the 4 new lighter coloured ponies.

The little stallion seemed to miss his initial field mates and called out for a couple of days.  Then he seemed to accept his lot, although he didn't mingle as well with his new friends.

The new herd were very frightened of humans, but its amazing how skilled you can become at cutting out brambles in tails from a distance, to ensure I kept out of the kick zone!

Eventually a sign went up at various points in the car park and fence line ordering the horses to be removed within 14 days or they would be removed.

On day 12  they all disappeared!

My friend from the pub and I were gutted.  Worried.  Sad, and we both miss those little guys still now, after 4 weeks without them.

There is some good news.  The 3 from the original 4 - well I've found them!  Quite by chance, I was driving to Winchester and out of the corner of my eye went past a field and noticed three ponies. My instinct told me it was them.  I stopped, turned round and drove back.

It was them!  They were all cleaned up.  They were on a flat field, with grass!  They even had a pile of hay!  The relief was huge and my heart sung as they came over to the fence line to say hi!

I drive around looking out for the 5 coloured and the little stallion who would melt the toughest of hearts.  I hope to find them all again one day in better surroundings and well fed.

With all the comings and goings of horses, I had many occasion to wonder why? Why were horses being neglected and left without water and adequate food?  What has happened to human compassion and responsibility?  What have horses done to deserve such disrespect and hardship? 

The problem appeared to be that the more I mused on these impossible questions, the more hopeless the situation seemed, as any Equine related charity will tell you.

What ive learnt is that the Charities are overwhelmed with reports of such incidents.  They don't have adequate land or re-homing facilities.  Their default solution is to take horses only when on deaths door and destroy them.  Not what you and I are lead to believe when we watch TV adverts begging for our donations. 

It remains for me to share what happens next in both my experience with these horses and with human beings - will good outweigh bad?  Will right action correct wrong? 

Find out more in my next post...

Magic Mushrooms

“You cannot get sick enough to help sick people get better. You cannot get poor enough to help poor people thrive. It is only in your thriving that you have anything to offer anyone. If you’re wanting to be of an advantage to others, be as tapped in, tuned in, turned on as you can possibly be.” ~ Abraham

When mum started drinking the mushroom coffee in September 2014 she was in her second year of suffering from osteoporosis in one knee.  This meant painful injections into the kneecap every 6 months.  Without them, standing up from a chair, wait bearing after driving or sitting was incredibly painful.

On getting up from a chair of any height, she would have to stand on one leg, and rest a minute or more, until she could straighten out her other knee.  Leaving restaurants and coffee shops, or tackling stairs were not tasks to be rushed!

The problem was that the interval between injections was now decreasing.  At the time of finding out about her dead heart muscle her knee was in pain once more and yet only 3 months had elapsed since the last injection.

To say her spirits were down was an understatement.  Yet, given the heart concerns, her knees were not our main concern.

Essy with Urticaria 2010

When Essy had his terrible and prolonged attack of urticaria from September to November 2011 I was at my wits end and financial end working with vets to find the cause, and find a remedy.   It was not until the November when I called in an Animal Iridologist and Zoo pharmacologist, that we found a fix.  

That fix was Dandelion root and a Kidney Tonic.  To the end of time I will be indebted to the fast help and relief experienced by Essy and myself.  After 4 days of root and tonic, the lumps vanished and have never returned.

4 Days is fast by anyone’s standards.  I was impressed and gobsmacked at the simplicity of the cure - nature's dandelion roots!

Now, to return to my mum's old knees...  

My plan for my mum's healing included watching some videos about the miraculous healing properties of Ganoderma - which I had in coffee sachets and which she was drinking daily.

I set up the first video for her to watch while I was heading out for an hour or two. To my utter amazement not only did she watch the first of hour-long videos on the mushroom, but also she managed on my mac computer to open up the other 4 videos, and watched them also.  I was astonished at her new found IT skills, and even more amazed that the content held her attention for that long.

She stayed with me for 3 nights, 4 days and on the last day as she was packing to leave she said almost apologetically....

'I don't know if I'm imagining it, but I'm sure the pain in my knee is less today'.  

She went on "it's that coffee isn't it?'

As much as I love to rejoice in the mystery of life's weird and wonderful twists and turns, I also can be quite sanguine. This was one such time, so I said I had no idea but it was good news, and she should continue with the coffee, monitor her knees and report back.

To date, now mid February 2015 and her knee is perfect!  Totally pain free!  She has had no need to go back to the doctor, no further injections and is now way over the 6-month injection cycle. She has no problems or pain alighting stairs, getting out of the car, or up from chairs. Totally normal knee functioning has resumed.

She tells everyone she meets about this miracle. She recommends the coffee to any one with joint aches and pains.  My older sister (also a knee problem sufferer) has started taking it and has also said her knee pain is less.  Unlike my mum, she has attributed it to alternative logic to the coffee such as "it must be because I've accepted the pain and I'm just getting on with life".  Well maybe!  That is one explanation that has prooven in the healing world. 

I wonder what impact on my mums knees the Ganoderma Coffee Videos have had?  What role  sleeping in the sunshine to reiki music in the garden, or  drinking Spirulina smoothies and listening to metaphysics recordings have played in her miraculous healing?

The placebo effect is well known and documented.  Perhaps that is the only explanation needed.  At the end of the day you could say 'who cares' she is pain free.  For me I'd like to go a little further in my understanding.  

Accepting what has happened is important and has a calm and tranquillity to it.  At the same time knowing more about the ways in which we are connected to nature, to healing properties of nature or of our own thinking feel equally as important.

I have a feeling I'll be exploring the mind and body miracles much more.  In the meantime hooray for Ganoderma Coffee. 

Hooray for miracles; equine and human! 

Hooray for Mauritius, for my Reiki teacher Jean Michel and for the gifts of healing that awaits anyone in need.  As the saying goes:

“When the student is ready the teacher will appear”