A face full of TRUST and thanks

Monday morning and I asked Essy to walk up the ramp of a horsebox.  A task Ive not asked him to do in 3. 5 years.  The horsebox wasn't ours.  He walked straight up, first time.

Having been retired for over a year now, out of work, his decline in muscle tone meant his one hour journey in 30 degrees morning heat, was tough.   His chest, abdominal and back muscles clinched, stretched and strained.

At noon, with the sun high in the sky we arrived and unloaded at an Equine Hospital.

Long story short, 4.5 hours later he was awake enough from his operation to travel home.   Bandaged up like a little soldier. He might of been ready but the duty of care and responsibility I felt was so huge I wasn't sure I was!

He'd just had a hole drilled into his head, above his left eye.  He'd been heavily sedated.  It was hot and we had the same journey home ahead of us, only now in commuter traffic.  My main concern was firstly would he re-load and secondly would he have the strength (after sedation) to hold himself up to do the journey, for a second time?  Compound this with what I could only imagine was the headache of all headaches.

Just after 5pm we made it!  Home!  Having ridden in the back with him, Ive never been more grateful to get somewhere all in one piece, without incident.

Now the wait begins for the results of the biopsy.  Now the care begins to ensure bandages stay in place and the wound kept clean.

At home he had an hour to chill in his stable.  We then had a bath, I massaged his tired hamstrings, did some tail releases (very tense) and finished the day with some essential oils for emotional re-balancing.

Only job remaining was to 'pad' his stable as his new past time seemed to be trying to remove the bandage and scratch the front of his head!  Many thanks to a fellow livery for suggesting rolled up towels.  It's worked like a treat.

Horses never cease to amaze me.

The trust Essy put in himself, and in me, both in the journey to hospital, and back again, can not be measured.  It's immense.  I think often we ignore these moments, just taking it for granted that most horses load and travel.   When you know your horse is not 'travel fit' and yet still he follows you up and down the ramp - after having a hole drilled into his head, on the hottest day of the year, surely that must be savored and not ignored.  Surely that is one way of measuring trust?

I for one, am very thankful.

Life as it should be... "a walk in the park"!

Sunday, Mid July,  30 Degrees heat...

I joined a group riding lesson for the first time since childhood, at noon on Sunday.  Out of the 6 of us in the class I was the only one over the age of 12!  At first I thought 'how weird it was going to feel' but actually, I loved it from start to finish.

The second shock came when the instructor called me over by name and said " we probably didn't mention on the phone that this is a jumping class!"  Oh S***T

I haven't jumped for over 34 years!  I found myself thinking ridiculous thoughts like "it must be like riding a bike - you don't forget" right!?

Long story short it was a blast.  A few kiddies fell off, but I was able to slip into sports psych mode as I parked my stead along side and had a little off the cuff chat rider to rider!  Child rider back on board, and over the fence safely - all was well.

Inspired by how much fun I'd had, with absolutely no fear (although I felt a little self conscious at times) I drove over to my yard to spend the afternoon with my own equine family.

It was suddenly so obvious that I've been taking horse ownership very seriously over recent years.  The more Ive had my eyes opened up about how to care for my horses in a different way from how I have during the past 3 decades, the more Ive felt an increasing sense of responsibility to 'get it right' and provide a perfect life for them. Honouring their needs isn't easy when you aren't a land owner and have to work for a living.  At times Ive been aware that there hasn't been much light relief!

Now I was reminded what it felt like to be a kid having fun with your horse or pony.  To do things spontaneously, believing it will be fine.  No second doubts.  

So, 2 hours later, Essy, myself and my 76 year old mother (who came to visit with a handbag full of perfectly cut carrots), went off the property for a walk in hand, through the Estate Park.

An hour later we returned safe, sound, very warm and happy inside and out.

It was a 'moment to savour' - a happy memory. Essy was amazing.  He walked behind me patiently when the path narrowed, he strolled contentedly at my side when it widened.  He snacked occasionally drawn to a spot on the ground by smell.  He didn't grab for grass, he never once pulled at the rope.  He even seemed to be left alone by the flies!

Even this wasn't the pinnacle of my pleasure.  The real joy came in watching Essy interact with my very 'non horsey' elderly mum.  Despite being only 5 foot in height and always afraid of horses, the two of them now have an incredible bond.  A bond that only formed after Essy had met with Margrit.  Since February 11th he has been gentle with my mum, considerate (human sentiment I know) and allows her to be affectionate towards him.  All totally new behaviours around her.  She revels in his recent acceptance of her.

As my mother tip toed her way through the long grasses, stopping to examine a meadow herb or plant.  Each time, she would turn and address Essy- as if he is her human grandson who understands her every word, and say...  "Essy what about this herb, do you want to try it". No matter what Essy was engrossed in, or where he was, he would look up at her and walk straight over to explore what was in her hand.  No delay.  Instant.  It was as if he really does speak fluent human English.  It was so moving.  All I could do was stand back and watch.  I soaked it up as a memory that I'm sure many women will liken to the pride and love they feel when their own offspring bond with an elderly parent.

It was hard to be present minded enough to grab my camera to capture it,  as each moment had me lost in space.  However a few snaps might convey some of the peace of our very memorable, walk in Swallowfield Park.

How to like yourself more...

Play Time and Tears!

I had a wonderful day hanging out with my three glorious horses.  Twice they raised me to tears just looking at them: such peace in their eyes.

I walked away with an immense feeling that my horses like being horses!  They like being who they are. That may sound a bit of a non event on most days but today it  really hit me that to like being who you are, must be such a gift.  I wonder how many of us can say we feel the same way?

Of course there have been moments in our life when we've felt pleased with ourselves at work for our contribution, at home for our friendship and support to friends or family.  But is that the same?  Does this mean we actually like being human and like being who we are - warts and all, day after day?  If we don't, what would we prefer to be? Until recently I hadn't considered being anything else (except wishing I could run on all fours alongside my new puppy)...

... how great would that feel?

Tonight at the yard a fellow livery and her hubby were doing what looked like 'play lunging' with their two horses.  From inside the barn I could hear their laughter - real belly laughter - and once outside I could see hooves, knees and legs all aloft - as the four of them shared some high jinks together.

What a contrast with another livery's words to me about how 'badly behaved' her old boy had been when he was turned out.  Apparently, once off the lead rope and lose in the field he would kick, buck, tear about and be "unruly".  I wanted to suggest maybe the horse was expressing himself in a moment of happiness and joy.  I sensed she didn't see it that way.

All around us there are people who are happy with themselves and we can see that through their relationship with their horses, if we know what to look for. Others are not so blessed.

It is said that by turning our attention inward to our self that we are able to experience a deeper connection with Life, with God, Nature and beyond.  And, as humans, every relationship we ever have with another exactly mirrors one or more aspects of the relationship we have with our self. 

So, can we learn to like ourselves? Can our horses teach us how? I hope so as Horses are so much closer to nature than we are with all our mod-cons and materialism. 

In his book Messages From Water -  Dr. Masaru Emoto shows the powerful effect that our thoughts and words have on us. In his research he attached written words to containers of water, such as “Thank you,” “I love you,” and “You fool!” Then he froze the water and took photos of the water crystals with a microscopic camera. In addition to using written words, he varied his experiments with thoughts, music and pictures.  This is one of my favourite books which I often take to seminars I'm delivering to help people think about the affect our thoughts have on us.

In every case when there was a positive energy used, whether it was a written word, a verbal statement, or a picture, the photos of the frozen crystals were exquisitely beautiful, as above.

On the other hand, in every case where the stimulus was negative, the crystals were small, misshapen and deformed! This so clearly demonstrates the effects of negativity when we bury ourselves under unkind thoughts, or beliefs about our body, mind, or abilities. 

If our bodies are about 60% water, imagine what happens to the part of us that is water when we are hit with lots of negativity. Whose to say it doesn't have the same debilitating effect on all parts of all our body cells. No wonder we struggle to feel good about who we are on an average day.

Add to this, the famous book, film and industry known as the Law of Attraction which warns us that when cells vibrate with negativity it draws towards us, more of the same.

These two pieces of work are relatively recent.  Not everyone has yet to come across them and their important messages.  Without them we are left floundering under a sea of pressure to be this way or that, taller, smarter, faster, thiner or just better.

So back to play time and tears....

The life of a horse isn't always 'a walk in the park'.  Looking at their 3 basic needs it's a wonder any show happiness to be alive, never mind as a horse.

Food & water: some horses have it, others have too much or insufficient. Many go without vital herbs or nutrients	Most of us can put food on our tables whenever we need it, enjoy lavish meals, detox, diet or fest, stick to the same diet or vary it up
Friendship: some horses spend a lifetime without same species relationships or contact. Family separation is a guarantee, often prematurely	We get to pick and choose our friends real, virtual, local or worldwide.  We also get to stay in touch or switch them out on demand
Freedom: some horses are locked up all day, many can’t pick and choose when they work or what job they do or when to retire	We can move around the Globe, be alone or with others, express ourselves, work for others or create our own work

Next time we notice happiness in a horses expression or stance, or in their love of being able to run about let's wonder why its so hard for us to feel pleased to be who we are when on the face of it, we have so much more.

Let's stop and remember that beyond the 3 x F's, all those other things we long for in life just alienate us further from our true selves, from nature and from a meaningful connection with both, leaving us strangers to ourselves amongst the paraphernalia of a modern existence.

It seems shallow to simply view the needs of a horse as simply the 3 x F's.  It seems unrealistic to compare our ability to like ourselves based on only that as criteria.  To look deeper can be difficult to get our heads around.  To keep it simple and practical here's my own list of the lessons our horses might be trying to pass on to us, to help us learn how to like ourselves!

* they don't judge themselves or others

* they don't seem to set goals and push themselves constantly 
* they live for today and in the moment of now

* they only hold a grudge (in the form of negative associations) with good reason usually fear based

* they probably don't generate negative or positive thoughts - just in the moment awareness

* they aren't likely to compare themselves with other horses abilities, size, shape or luck

* they know how to communicate with each other very effectively without misunderstandings

* arguments are resolved quickly

* they use their energy wisely and avoid being exhausted at the end of the day 

* they don't try to be something they aren't knowing when they are confident and capable or not

* they aren't fickle and don't flit between equine relationships (if allowed the choice)

* they reciprocate touch and scratching when offered 

* they don't appear to have a negative ego like humans and can let go of the need to control

* they don't play emotional games with one another

* they don't lie 

* they know how to have fun and try to do so when the mood grabs them

* they are patient and tolerant of other species

* they are communal by choice preferring to share their world not keep it for themselves

In summary horses appear to be great ambassadors for RESPONSIBILITY.  Not as we are taught at school and at home which manifests more like duty, burden, 'ought' and 'should'.  For horses responsibility simply means 'being able to respond'.  To what?  Their needs.  Moment by moment.  If they need to sleep they doze. If they need to run they run.  If they want to eat they eat.  etc.  The good news is that there is nothing stopping us (people) from having the same approach to our lives.  Most of us (if adult) are not in captivitiy, stabled, told what to do, or when to eat etc.  We are much more like the undomesticated, free roaming horse - able to respond to our needs moment by moment, if we would just give ourselves permission.  Be selfish!  A place of honest intent to be happy by fulfilling our needs which puts us in a better position to help others - human or horse.

I'm sure the list above isn't complete.  However, even as it stands it makes a compelling set of tips on 'how to live our lives in order to like ourselves more'.

With my horses help I will keep digging deeper to explore 'how to like myself more' - but for today this is where my awareness level is at so my musing will have to end for now.

Nature AND Nurture - can we have both?

In the wild horses don't chose to be busy! 

W...They epitomise a sedentary life style.

Obvious isn't it?  When somebody puts it in writing (even though we all know) but despite that - "busy" is often what we make our horses lives. We know the reasons why - training, travelling, competing, hacking, washing, grooming, trimming, plaiting, clipping, shoeing, health checks, dentist visits, back checks, tack checks, physio, chiropractic appointments - the list goes on.

During my Parelli lesson today I apologised to Grace for not knowing 6 months ago what I know today.  I often feel guilty that at 8 years of age her life isn't more interesting and varied (aka busy)!

Our Parelli trainer said that she believes horses know when we have a good  intention in our heart and they can forgive us for what we know, and how much we still don't know! (Another reminder that our horses have much to teach us if we are willing to learn).

I hope she is right!

It's easy to beat ourselves up for not always getting it right with our horses and for making their lives so unnatural for them, but why do we do it?

Being a predator partly explains it.  It is in our nature to 'get after' somebody or something if they don't do as we want.  It's in our nature to get stern, turn up the heat, or even use force. We do it to ourselves (in our self talk) and we do it in our human to human relationships.  We read books or go to classes to improve our skills of assertion, influence and negotiation; all very predatory.

Horses learn none of this.  This is not the language of the prey animal.

So to connect with our horses and understand them it helps to remember how differently we think, in order to find a way forward, that honours the two different ways of being: predator and prey (remembering that both have their uses).

"A predator typically victimizes, plunders, or destroys, especially for their own gain." 

A little extreme maybe, but the above goes some way in explaining how some traditional training methods e.g breaking horses in - now viewed as cruel, once took hold.  Being told as a child rider 'not to let him or her get away with something' or 'make them more scared of you ...' etc made sense to us - it is a natural way of thinking for a predator.  When someone or something disappoints us we automatically try to 'teach them a lesson' believing we know best.  We see this play out on a daily basis in how horses are treated and so quickly reprimanded for being 'naughty, arrogant, disobedient' etc, forgetting to consider it may be their prey nature in operation.

Can we un-learn what is in our nature?  Can we un-learn how to be predatory?  With the work of natural horsemanship, Monty Roberts, Parelli, Animal Communicators, Equinicity, and so on, new and different ways of 'being with horses' open up to us.  Each of which takes us a little further away from our predatory nature, to embrace something we can develop and nurture, to sit alongside.

After all, there are many ways to skin a cat and many ways of 'being' with our horse. 

If we stay unconsciously operating at our true (nature) level -  we permit our  predatory behaviour  to rule the roost.  This will keep us disconnected from our horses, at odds, and often feeling like giving up.  In circumstances of high adrenalin the horse needs us to be the leader and we want to be trusted  to be it!  These moments of truth are were our nature will kick in if we haven't been nurturing other options to draw from.

If we embrace the corporate Leadership Model that "Leaders are both born and developed" then we should be actively nurturing the prey way of being along side our predatory nature so that we have both in our tool kit.

This means connecting with like minded folk, reading books or attending courses and demonstrations that feature 'compassion', 'dominion', 'thinking through stress versus emotionally reacting to it'....  

The new agenda of the future with it's  Must Know set of skills for horsemen and women should bridge the 'predator : prey' gap, it must build on the strengths of our human nature, AND nurture the prey qualities of the horse's nature.  

Then our horses can truly partner with us, seeing more of what they like and understand, in their interaction with us.  

Who knows we may even have fewer guilt trips because our horses aren't 'busy'!

"Awareness" - we already have the answers - inside!

What is this 'awareness' that Essy and other animals speak about when communicating with those who can hear them? 

The dictionary likens awareness to being:

 aware, cognizant, conscious, sensible, awake, alert, watchful, vigilant

In more detail- Aware implies knowledge gained through one's own perceptions or by means of information.

Since Essy's clear message that humans need to 'get more aware' I have been doing a lot more gathering information for myself, from sources far and near.  (Part 1 of the definition underway)!

When I first heard Essy's message about humans needing to become more aware of horses needs, and how the feeling horses seek can't begin fully until we humans heal ourselves - and me needing to play a part in this quest for 'awareness' -  I felt worried to say the least.

I've always felt that 'a greater awareness' isn't something that ordinary people discover!  Even though I've been drawn to animal communication, telepathy, mediums, channeling messages etc, don't you have to be gifted, spiritual, telepathic, non judgmental or at least perfect to really 'get it'?  Awareness makes me think of Buddha and enlightenment!   At 48 years of age I often feel  I've wasted more time than have time left to discover the path to Buddha.

No matter how unworthy I have felt since Margrit talked to my horses and especially with Essy, it seems I am on an improvement plan whether I planned it out or not! At it's core is being more conscious of what's around me daily, cleaning out my ears and accepting each day for what it is.   (Getting better at the former; work in progress on the latter!)

"Conscious emphasizes the recognition of something sensed or felt" says the dictionary.  I love this meaning as it gives me permission to listen to my gut, or my chitter chatter, to continue talking to myself aloud, and answering my own questions... all the stuff that others might deem 'nuts' that I do all the time.  (Part 2 of the definition conquered - unless there's another level to be reached on intuition....!)

To be awake is to have full consciousness of something and Alert stresses quickness to recognize and respond.  This seems to describe our horses in a nutshell.  Being in the moment aka quick to respond is not my forte.  Ive had 3 falls from Grace (excuse the pun) in the last 18 months and each time I've remarked on how "I just sat there and did nothing".  I have decisions to make to improve the quality of my horses life but procrastinate, change my mind and am stuck in cerebral debate!  (This part of the definition I suck at!)

When Grace (my younger horse) talked with Margrit she talked of how horses need humans to understand their pain and how that reflects onto the way humans handle horses.  I wasn't really sure what that meant until simple every day examples started to jump out at me. Take the following one as an example: 

Last week as I waked past another horse's stable the owner standing inside said aloud "there's a real serenity to eating hay without a hay net".  Then she stopped.  I stopped too.

How wonderful it must have felt for her horse to be able to eat without constraint.   How wonderful that his owner noticed.  How glad I am that I tuned in and heard it too.

It's not rocket science.  How hard would it be for all our horses to be given hay without having to put up a fight to get at it?  Imagine how we would feel?

It made me  wonder just how difficult do we make the lives of our horses?  In fact how difficult do we make our own lives?  We don't mean to, most of us would happily simplify our lives and that of our horses.  We just get caught up in habit, tradition, doing what everyone else does, following, not questioning for ourselves - being busy etc. 

I believe that in that one moment of making an observation my livery neighbour was experiencing what horses have to offer us if we are open to receive it;

simplicity: truth: freedom: being able to respond to one's own needs

Awareness is about realising that inside each of us is a place where all understanding exists - we already have the answers.  Each of us.  This inner place is our kernel of peace!  Our horses try to plant it in us.  Think about all the moments where you are drawn to just watch your horse or someone else's.  Mostly we are drawn to watch them graze, sleep in the sun, nuzzle one another or gallop freely in a field.  These moments (and moments like the one mentioned above) are when 'we get it' and we find ourselves using words like 'serenity' to describe it.   Now that's got to be awareness!

Saddles: Jimmy Choo or Louboutin?

Need a new saddle, not sure which one..?

At a recent show I overhead two ladies talking serious business aka "saddle talk!"  You know the kind of conversation  - one person confidently espouses all his or her knowledge about saddles in a way that lesser beings dare not challenge but must absorb, and pass on, to other lesser beings in the future without question. 

I've found that you can discover all sorts of interesting (but not always true) facts about  how "all saddles have trees like this, or like that", if you tune in as you wander by! 

Later in conversation with the wood-bee saddle shopper she told me she really "didn't know that much about saddles" but the current saddle was making her horse back sore"  "What saddle should I have that won't cause her issues?"  Right question from an honest hearted lady who wants to do the best for her horse. The answer lies in women's shoes!

An image tripped across my mind of two women shopping for a new pair of shoes - and pondering "which ones are good for you?" The answer: none! Even if you ask yourself 'which ones won't hurt?' the answer is still "none"!  Sooner or later women's shoes crush toes, wrinkle skin, blister heels, wreck your arch or bring on bunions! (A prudent reader will of course go check out those 'facts' for themselves and will resign themselves to a life wearing Clarks)!

Fact or fiction, we can agree that we aren't designed to walk on the balls of our feet, for hours on end, on hard surfaces occasionally having to run, or carry heavy stuff in our arms.   When saddle shopping it's good to remember that horses weren't actually designed to be ridden or wear saddles for hours on end, at speed, carrying a 10 stone human - hence the analogy!

If you are after 'cause no pain' then bare back has to be your best bet.  If we want to avoid corns and hard skin, don't wear high heels!

But, if we are to ride with a saddle (and I confess I do) then we must accept that we are compromising our horses' backs.  Therefore, the better question is...

How can I best preserve my horse's back?  Here are some approaches

1. What is the actual shape of your horses back so you know what shape of tree to insist on?
2. Compare it to the shape of others horse's backs so you can describe it in your own words and don't have to accept what a saddle fitter is telling you he /she sees.
3. Which horses around you look like their backs are in good shape?  Find out why and how? 
4. Demand a saddler who comes with trees not saddles.  We often fall in love with the look of the finished product (sequins on our shoes) without regard for the shape of the tree whose function is to evenly distribute weight.
5. Does the tree match the shape of your horses back?  Perfectly? 
6. What is the saddler's own criteria for the longevity of a horse's back?  
7. Gullet width - check it - don't just believe the fitter's word.
8. If you hear things like 'flexible trees bend and warp' ask for the evidence, the data and source of that fact - it may be misquoted mythology or B.S!
9. Can you limit your riding e.g. ride every other day?
10. Do you have to school for an hour when 30 minutes may be sufficient?
11. Do you observe the lay of the horses hair,  and sweat patterns when the saddle is removed to notice in balance?
12. Do you massage your horse's back once the saddle is removed to stimulate circulation?
13. Does your horse have regular physio to help you catch issues or physical changes early on?
14. Under no circumstances use the same saddle on two or more horses.  
15. Don't fix poor saddle fitting with pads and gadgets - doesn't make our high heels fit better and won't help your saddle fit either.

I am sure there is more we can do.  This is my own personal list as back preservation has been an obsession of mine for both my horses and myself.  Grace's back is looking good but then I would think that wouldn't I?

So if I haven't made my point clearly enough it is this: whether it's Jimmy Choo or Louboutin is not the point as neither will have a positive impact on the health of your feet.  Spending more doesn't in this case mean pain free! Custom made shoes would surely be a step in the right direction with every part that contacts your foot fitted to that area. So, be obsessive about stripping back potential saddles to the bare tree.  Work up from there and you should have a good chance of minimising back issues.

Finally, under the definition of "Saddle" on Wikipedia it offers this useful advise:

 "Proper saddle care can extend the useful life of a saddle, 

often for decades" 

If only saddle makers dangled the same carrot that their  "saddle can extend the life of a horse's back" - if  you find a saddler who makes such a claim - please spread the word! 

If that fails, then you could always resort to selecting the saddle that you found the most comfortable to sit on, and forget all about the function of a saddle and the physiology of the horse.  Sit back, kick on and watch the physio and vets bills roll in!

Who makes up this shit?

Why do we do the things we do with our horses?

Who is to say if it's 'this way or that way'?

I had to laugh at myself this morning.  There I was doing what I do each morning, grooming Grace and each morning brushing her mane over onto her right side - you know; as we all do cause that's where manes sit....

As soon as Ive brushed it over and gently given it a push in that direction with my hand (for good order), Grace shakes her neck and her mane splits; half on one side half on the other.  This happens EVERY day!

This morning for some reason, instead of feeling a twinge of frustration I found myself (or maybe it was Grace sending me her thoughts) stepping back and  thinking "why change nature Deb?"  Seriously why?  What possible problem is it causing to have her mane fall wherever it wants to?  I tried to answer thinking 'well for shows it needs to be on one side'.  Then I remembered that for shows her mane would be plaited so that's irrelevant. There and then I couldn't come up with another reason, other than 'everyone knows that's how it should be' and sensing that somehow the BHS or the Army are to blame! 

Obvious it may be to us humans, but it sure isn't obvious to everyone!  Horses certainly don't seem to have had the email as Essy's mane does exactly the same (taken this morning also).

Thinking about the 'obvious' left me wondering in what other ways we try to change nature without there being any valid or current reason? When did we last stop to think 'why do I do this and is it still relevant'?

Maybe when there is a life saving reason for all manes to fall in one direction then our horse's manes will comply.  Until then, like my own fringe it will land where it falls and I will accept it, knowing at least that's one less thing to fret about.

Finding NOW and knowing ME

Awareness is a personal journey 

"One's own self is well hidden from one's own self: of all mines of treasure, 

one's own is the last to be dug up"  

Friedrich Nietzsche

Last night it hit me that the only time I struggle to write a blog is when Ive heard someone else say something that sounded important, profound or poetic,  and have made a note of it.  Then when I sit down to write about it - I am blank.  I have lost all connection to it.

This got me thinking.  To connect with something it helps to feel it.  For me if I'm not the originator of a thought or idea, it holds very little interest for me.  I simply don't 'feel it'. May be this is what being authentic is about.  So what do our horses feel?  Nothing? Everything?  Is it there inescapable connection with 'feel' that keeps them present and grounded, genuine and honest?  'Feel' is after all the language of riding, and the body language between horses, and the horses route to experiencing nature.

Ive heard it said that we (humans) can't find peace if we haven't experienced struggle. Maybe that's true for some.  For me it has worked this way for years.  However, I don't believe that is the main experience of the horse.  Many horses do experience struggle in one form or another be that abuse, pain, neglect etc. Yet this negative experience of life with humans doesn't stop them from still being a horse.  Wanting and doing what horses want and do.  They seem to be the consummate 'connectors with themselves' : a place they must know so well.  Yet, we rarely stop to think 'who' they are!  Weird right to overlook such an opportunity to learn about a sense of self from someone so close.

I don't know what the human equivalent is to the birthright of a horse.  We have evolved through so many epochs with a different legacy attached to each.  The horse has accompanied us through most of that journey, but has remained the same.  Has remained true.  What cause are we pursuing? Isn't it weird that I even assume we are on one?  The horse is not!  Of course our larger brain and higher intellect mandates that we are here serving a greater good, a higher purpose!! Tee hee!  Right like destroying acres of natural habitat, over fishing the seas, polluting the atmosphere, killing one another.  That's definitely all higher good stuff! 

Sadly, I can't  take credit for having a quick 4 step model that we can follow to our own path of enlightenment or awareness, or greater good.  I will however write when I feel compelled, knowing that my own awareness of what is true for me, depends on it.  Meanwhile I'm going to actually start looking to my horses to teach me a thing or two about life, and how to enjoy it in the now, while we have a now left!

"One's own self is well hidden from one's own self: of all mines of treasure, 

one's own is the last to be dug up"  

Friedrich Nietzsche

Wake up and smell the Roses

Small Steps to greater awareness...

Each morning begins with Grace and I 'pad walking' for 40 minutes to stimulate her foot re-growth where the seedy toe has been cut out.

This has become a quiet time for me.  I don't do quiet easily. Yet going round and round in circles or squares or serpentine shapes, before offices awake and doors to shops swing open, there isn't much else to do.

I'm wearing my HeartMath machine.  I'm becoming predictable - the first few minutes I am Green (coherent)  as my awareness focuses on my breathing.   Then, lost in whatever journey my thoughts take me on I re-enter my 'base line state' which for me is Red.   This is my pattern and my default body talk state is 'hyper'.  Not good long term.  Not helpful for expanding my awareness (unless I want more of the same).

The good news is that as soon as I focus back onto my breath, and breath for 5; in and out; I'm Green.   So it can be done - an adjustment of my focus brings an adjustment in my nervous system.  I guess horses work the same way.  They quicken their breathing and flee!  They slow their breathing and rest!

This morning's walk provided another awakening moment.  Grace kept trying to pull me over towards some rose bushes.  I kept resisting.  Then I spoke aloud to her (as many of us horsey people do) and explained "we'll smell the roses in a minute"!  Then I laughed!  What a lovely metaphor for how I approach my life - 'saving the nice stuff for later'...

I stopped resisting and we went over to the roses.

If one picture could tell a thousand stories this would be my pick for today.  If a horse can seek out simple pleasures of smelling roses why can't we?  I am more and more convinced that my own three horses are trying to teach me how to 'wake up' to what's important.  

Today, I am going to pay attention for the next 24 hours to the symbology of moments like this.  To those moments where I resist; to those ideas I think I'll save for later... and ponder on the symbology of each moment to see what comes to light by looking through a different lens.

Surely that in itself will help my awareness grow a little more today?