A Table For Two!

"to make use of clever and indirect methods to achieve something!"

Does this describe one of your goals as a horse rider.....(or human)?  It is the definition of SUBTLETY.

If it does, then like me, you have realised the importance of subtlety as a powerful aid in effective communication with your horse!

It's a recent discovery for me and just one of the many valuable life lessons and outcomes from my riding lessons with Mario.

As I am learning to 'do less' with Grace (in the saddle), and to STAY OFF my hands, Mario shared an important principle using the following analogy:

SCENARIO 1

- Imagine being in a restaurant with a friend or family member.  You are a table of two.

- Next to you are four tables, merged together for a group party of 16!

- As the evening gets going your next door neighbours - a large gang, get more and more loud, gregarious, boisterous and 'in everyone's space'.

How do you feel?  
How do you respond?  
How enjoyable is the evening for you?

1. Most of us quickly get irritated by the volume coming from the next table.
2. We get angry at the distraction AND with their behaviour.
3. Our good humour disappears!
4. Our enjoyment and positive memories of the evening is negative!

Now imagine a different scene...

SCENARIO 2

- Imagine being in a restaurant with a friend or family member.  You are a table of two.

- Next to you is a table also for two people.  A man and a woman take their place there.

- The man and woman, reach out across the table and hold hands.  Perhaps he caresses her hand.  They look at each other intently with steady eye contact that shuts out everyone else.

- They talk quietly almost in whispers.  They appear locked into a private world. 

How do you feel?
How do you respond?
How enjoyable is the evening for you? 

1. Most of us become curious!  We notice!  We wonder what is the story here?  Are they having an affair?
2. We respond by also becoming quiet.  We respect their space and almost mirror it. We try to listen in - it becomes a goal, to actually hear who are they? What is going on?
3. We pay close attention as we try to work it all out.
4.  It adds to the fun and positive memories of our evening, as we muse, pay attention and strain to hear every clue!  We might even chat about it hours later after we paid the bill and left!

Most of us can relate to both scenarios.  The question is can our horse?

What if, the more effective way to communicate with our horse is through the use of subtlety, as in Scenario 2 above! Meaning quiet riding, stillness in the saddle,  doing "less" in order to gain more of our horses attention?  Which would be most likely to give our horse a positive association,  'subtle riding' or loud, boisterous, 'in their space' riding? 

Would subtlety work?

With Grace subtlety is very effective. Keeping her attention can be challenge numero uno!  When I am riding her on my own, I implement a strict 6 second rule whereby I ask for something new every 6 seconds: be that a change of rein, a circle, a half halt, transition, etc, just something!  It definitely helps keep us together and keeps me very in the moment!

As Grace and I spend more time with me in the saddle Mario introduces new concepts to take my learning deeper.  What's great for me is that so much of his insight applies equally to the world of work and home as it does to the menage and stable.

This week, Mario introduced to me the use of SUBTLETY for helping Grace to pay attention. (Notice how his focus is on helping the horse to do XYZ.   I could just as easily have written " for getting Grace to listen" but then the focus would have been on me and doing (to get) which usually means 'force' instead of putting her needs first and playing to her strengths).

What I admire so much in Mario's teaching is his consistent relentless reliance on NO VIOLENCE! He does not want to see a rider kick, jab, poke, whip a horse ever!  Thank god and what a contrast to that lesson I had last summer when told to deliver a "pony club style boot in the ribs" to a lovely misunderstood horse. (See post: Enough is enough; or don't give up).

By being quiet and light and small in our movements and gestures with our horse,  we prick his/her curiosity and attention as he/she has to concentrate to hear us and so can tune in more.  Much as in restaurant scenario 2, with the quiet couple next door.

If you're not convinced imagine the reverse scenario.

Imagine the horse equivalent of Scenario 1 above, where the humans are loud, brash, cumbersome, in your space!  When we ride with force, nagging legs, pulling hands, gripping legs and bracing backs isn't it possible we simulate the equivalent of 'being too in our horses space and face'?  Isn't it plausible that a sentient being such as a horse could feel irritated, angry, bored, fed up, misunderstood by such riding?  Is it any wonder that the same horse could tune out, become dead to the leg, unresponsive?

Of course some trainers (the unenlightened) will describe this as the horse being lazy, or in need of re-schooling etc. but I'm willing to bet 50% of the time (or more) it is actually a case of the rider needing to be MORE subtle and LESS loud!

Is subtlety and quiet more in keeping with the nature of the Horse?

I believe so.  I am sure behaviouralists will agree.  The horse is such a naturally quiet animal.  No purring, barking, growling, just quiet most of the time.

Surely logic alone says that meeting the horse on the horses' terms (playing to it's natural abilities) using subtlety not volume is likely to be more readily understood and attractive to our horse?

The fact that such subtlety comes from a mindset that is the opposite of domination means it has the added advantage of being more respectful, by definition.  (Another important concept taught by Mario).

So, if  subtlety based on respect, brings attention from our horse and requires us to be present too, just maybe the two of us can become more connected just as we saw in our diner scenario 2!  Only this way, we both get to enjoy dinner with positive memories and emotional associations for next time!

Mindful Human and Horses

"Progress is not created by contented people"  

Frank Tyger - American Cartoonist

 ....Perhaps I should feel glad as I am not a contented person!

I remember a friend's words from last year:

 "the problem with the more you know about horses is the more you see!  

The more you see the more you notice any small change that makes you worry, 

whereas those who don't know; don't see and have less to be concerned about".  

She was right!

Tonight Essy was quite.  He stood resting, at the back of his box for most the time I was there.  He had intermittent nose bleeds.  He ate his feed and had occasional snacks on his hay.  The majority of the evening he was not over his door, not engaging and not alert.
 
The three of them have been going out this week into their new field, with fresh grass.  It's been a gradual process, a little longer out there each day.  I have charcoal and physilium husks at the ready in case of signs of scouring, colic or laminitis.

Tonight all three of them had a slight digital pulse in at least 2 if not all 4 legs.  No one was breathing heavily or in a laboured fashion.  Worried about Essy (as the girls seemed their usual inquisitive and bright selves),  I watched Essy closely.  Luckily his mouth was relaxed - hanging bottom lip which I've always dreaded  (it reminds me of shell suits on airplanes), but I do know when he is in pain his muzzle is often tight and pinched in.

Girls full of beans!

I checked Essy's tummy for gurgles, and intestinal activity - all sounded normal and sufficiently noisy.  He was going to the toilet ok too.  He did feel warm to touch, but it was a warm evening and he wasn't sweating.

I took, his temperature, checked for dehydration and checked his gum colour. All seemed normal there too.  His forehead wasn't hot as it had been in January and February on days where he had previously been quiet.  Nor did I pick up any funny sensations in my head of any tension or pain (as I have many times this year when around him).

Sometimes there really isn't much more you can do or check into but that realisation doesn't leave me feeling easy, not at all.

When Essy is quite I pay attention.  I keep looking for signs (good or bad).  I have to think of other possible reasons, explanations or causes.  These are the times where having more than one horse can be helpful.  As a comparison.  Also, it's like having kids - even if you've had a crap day at work, or a row with your spouse, you have to put on a brave face for the sake of the kids.  With horses, I'm finding it's the same.

As I bounce from one stable to another, or work in hand with first one then the other, its important to try to change my energy, clear down any negative feelings etc, and be with each horse, one at a time, present and respectful to each of them, as individuals.

I realised tonight that I could never go back to being on a big yard.

It is so much easier to  'see my horses' when I'm not surrounded by human noise and chit chat.  It is so much easier for the horses to reveal more of their personality, and chose whether or not to engage with me when its quiet and peaceful all around.

Even the time seems to go by more slowly in a small,  quiet environment.  In the past, on a big yard - time seemed to be on 'warp speed' setting!

This past weekend, I found myself reviewing snap shots of my life with my horses; Essy and Minxy in particular.  After 16 years together there are so many memories.

I do have one regret.  I realised it only this weekend.  It is that for so many of those 16 years we've had together so far, I didn't 'see them'.  I didn't see 'who they were'.  Its hard to explain.  Its just that amongst all the riding, polo and endurance - I didn't pay attention to who they were!

I guess its a kin to being married for 15 years and realising you haven't noticed your spouse since you fell in love. You've stopped paying attention to finding out who they are, what they like and don't.

With human relationships we (or at least I) put so much effort and attention into the early stages.  With my horses, Ive realised it's the reverse.  I am only NOW beginning to recognise and understand them and their needs, in our latter time together.  (Maybe it's never too late for couples)!

Some days I believe I might know my horses better than my husband.   I do regret however, the lost years with my horses.  I feel a wretched tightness across my chest at the thought that they have NOT changed. Essy and Minxy were there all along.  Looking out at me.  Waiting for me to see them.

Thank god I am seeing them now.  I know they forgive.  Question is can I forgive myself and live with the reality that we have fewer years ahead (probably) than we have shared so far. 

I am sure many people will tell you that if you only have one day of real connection with a human or an animal it is worth it.  I am sure they are right but I can't help feel immense regret at not being a brighter, more aware, awake horse owner many years earlier than this.

To think that my horses (and yours) wait, so patiently for us to catch up and wake up, is a joy and a heartache all entwined.  How they continue to be so loyal, trusting, patient and TRUE to themselves whilst being largely unseen, is quite beyond me.
 
When loved ones we live with 'don't see us' or marginalise our needs, we often change and usually for the worse.  We withdraw and become distant and aloof.  We end up feeling bitter and hard done to seeking to punish them as a result.  We rebel and nag or tease, geode or all of the above.  We change our behaviour and do things to get noticed including having affairs, drinking, gambling, squandering money etc. We rarely remain TRUE to ourselves.  We find it hard to patiently wait for that other person to wake up and see us again. 

Our loyalty and good nature is usually the first thing to go down the pan!

Not so with our horses.  Isn't that amazing?  How many other relationships in life can we have an experience like that with? 

"For the most part, I do the thing which my own nature prompts me to do. 

It is embarrassing to earn so much respect and love for it"    

Albert Einstein

With special thanks to the Mindful Horse on Facebook for the great photos included in this blog.

Diamond Dust and Rainbows from Yorkshire!

There's a fine line between "barking mad" and "perfectly normal".  This week I've discovered that such a "fine line" may be getting narrower with every conversation!

Take yesterday ...

I was heading towards Bond Street tube, when my journey was interrupted by a good looking, suited up, young man bearing a silver tray of sachets.  He proudly presented me with one, simultaneously asking me "what skin products" I use!

Instantly I knew I'd walked into a 'sales number' so I replied and quickly stepped sideways ready to two-step past him.  He congratulated me on my skin care choice and quick as a flash mentioned the sachet in my hand would compliment my products as it contained nothing less than microdermabrasing diamond dust, and rainbows from North Yorkshire!   

Now I'm no push over but I don't know which of us was the more surprised; me hearing someone had captured those illusive Yorkshire Rainbows, we all dream of having in our face cream,  or the sales man when I asked exactly 'how' they had done that!  He laughed and said he "made that bit up to see if I was listening!"   Well I was! 

Twenty minutes later I left his salon carrying an unplanned purchase of an orange coloured facial scrub plus body cream - both bearing the promise of diamond dust and preciously packaged in a swanky black bag!

Being a horsey girl, my hands and face are not my shining glory!   I decided that given all the herbs, massages, essential oils and therapy's I buy for my horses, a microdermabrasing diamond dust infused cream just HAD to come home; it would no doubt make my life complete!

Slowly I'm getting to the point of this tale!  As I sat in his salon testing his products (shuddering at the price and preparing my "thanks, but no thanks" speech), I was curiously drawn into the tales he spun of old western holistic treatments have used Diamond Dust for centuries. Something to do with they penetrate the skins epidermis deeper than anything else which it seems is a good thing when transporting goodness through our body!
 
The left part of my brain was screaming loudly "pull the other one mate", while the right side of my brain remained dangerously interested!  He got me thinking!  Maybe?  What if....?  After all, Diamond dust in my face cream hardly seems any more crazy than popping sugar pills into Essy each night!  

I have no data, proof, or evidence that homoeopathic pills produce any positive result let alone a specific desired one.   After all, they are (as I understand it) 'sugar pills' with some 'energy containing cells' from some oil or herb or plant or extract, somehow added in (energetically I think)!

In other words stuff I really don't understand and which has for centuries alluded man to prove actually exists.

Chris (the fab Alternative Vet) told me plain as day that he had "no idea" what result I would see in Essy after taking homoeopathic pills, when I asked him last month.  Despite his candour and lack of any guarantee whatsoever, I still made a leap of faith and did as he suggested.  Yesterday's face cream purchase felt very similar.

Maybe the 'cave dwelling' romantic hidden deep inside me wants to believe in diamond dust having magical properties within it.  Maybe like the sugar pills - the results are as much about our intention and our hope, as they are about actual medicinal properties.

My friend and fellow Blog author Issy Clarke and I discussed this late last night.  Could it be that the energy and even the personality of Chris (the Vet) transmits into the pills he prepares?  She posed the question with some lucidity.  I confessed that I had no idea but I shared with her that for some reason I do feel very calm around Chris.  I feel I can trust him.  Now, if some of that energy alone, can transmit into the pills he prescribes - great!  Maybe I should be taking a few each day, too! 

I booked Chris to came back this week to check on Essy and to meet Solar Sue for the first time - given her recent heart problem identification.

I was prepared for his visit and gave him Solar's 16 year medical download as I had done with Essy the month prior.  I was expecting a pelvis and head re-alignment.  I was even ready for the dowsing.  However, I was not prepared for a question he asked that threw me into a vortex of stuttering, blubbering sounds not even words as my brain shut up shop and refused to open for business!

Just before the 'killer question' he asked me to describe Solar's character.  I do that in my head all the time with all three of my horses, building up the picture I have of 'who they are' from the outside looking in. So, that was easy peasy!

He had also asked me to describe my bond with her, which I did, and made comparisons with my relationship/bond with Essy. 

He then asked me a seemingly harmless question mid way into the session "what is her name".  I told him (again) "Solar Sue", thinking, "Ive already told you that a gazillion times today..."!

"No" he said - " what do you call her?"

"Oh! Minxy" I replied.

This was an interesting question for a couple of reasons: one, he didn't ask me that when he met with Essy (whose nick name is Handsome Pants)! So does that mean somehow he knew that Solar Sue wasn't what I called her day to day, and if so, how did he know that? Is there any significance to that?

Finally,  as soon as I said her name out loud "Minxy",  Solar immediately stopped eating her hay walked straight over to Chris and stood face on at him, looking at him.

Chris commented that  it was "very interesting that she came over at that precise moment"

So, back to the killer question that made my brain and mouth freeze over.  It was when he asked me this:

"how would you describe her 6th sense?"

Silence!

I had no idea what the question meant nor how to answer it!  I understood the words themselves individually, but the meaning, and context when in the same sentence left me blank.

He hadn't asked me "did I think she had a 6th sense?" or do "I believe in such a thing as a 6th sense?" he wanted to know "how I would describe her 6th sense?"  He wasn't even asking how I would describe MY 6th sense! 

I found myself saying I believed all horses had a 6th sense.  He agreed.  As I stood there tongue tied, I had mental pictures flashing through my mind of Solar and Essy galloping round their paddocks, changing direction and pace in a flash and in total sync with one another.  I had the flashbacks of Solar nickering to me and pushing her head into my tummy when I walk at her side or do some healing with her.  I remembered feeling her depression in the winter 2013.  I had images but no words to describe it succinctly as evidence based examples.

I wasn't really sure what I was trying to prove or demonstrate. Hence the struggle!

I wish I could now share some magical insight and answer to that question, having had time to reflect, but I can't.  Hopefully that's not what's important.  What might be useful is to rest a while with the question thereby prompting others to think about how they would answer the question if asked?

• So what does a 6th Sense mean to you?  
• Is "it" the same or different for a Horse? 
• How can you be a witness to "it" in your horse?

For simplicity sake, we can see if the dictionary provides useful guidance and help.

1. From the Urban Dictionary 6th sense is defined as:

"The sixth sense is probably a sense exclusive to one person, and one person only. All humans possess the other five senses, which are sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch. But the sixth sense is whatever that person's special gift is, and is often a paranormal capability, such as seeing dead people".  

- Personally that scares me!

2. The Free Dictionary says it is:

"A power of perception seemingly independent of the five senses; keen intuition."  

- A little bit more useful, I think!

3. The Cambridge Dictionary says:

"an ability that some people believe they have that seems to give them information without using the five senses of sight, hearing, touch, smell, or taste" 

- Oh great! Explains what it isn't but not what it is!

4. Spiritual Science Research Foundation likens it to:

"our ability to perceive the subtle-dimension or the unseen world of angels, ghosts, Heaven (Swarga), etc. It also includes our ability to understand the subtle cause and effect relationship behind many events, which is beyond the understanding of the intellect. Extrasensory perception (ESP), clairvoyance, premonition, intuition are synonymous with sixth sense or subtle perception ability. Throughout this website we use the words sixth sense, ESP and subtle perception ability interchangeably"

- Great! Clear as mud!

Having read the above, I'm still not sure how to define it.  Maybe words alone can't capture it (after all, the brains behind dictionary definitions are usually well functioning)!  Ironically I do have a 'sense' of it (tee hee) but I'm not confident any of the above definitions nail it.

If I can't define something I find it hard to explain it.  Even more weird is the feeling that we can have a 'sense' of something including what it is', that it is real, it exists, even when we have no words to describe it.  It's a bit like knowing there's a building in front of you, without any walls, floor, ceiling or windows to perceive it by!

One possible way to explain the 6th Sense

I think in Chris's question he was asking me about Minxy's spirituality.

I hope my observations and my (eventually coherent) response about what she pays attention to and reacts to, were helpful.  He nodded as I explained how she picks up on my my moods, how she goes berserk at the sudden noise of a Radio, (whereas my other horses don't).  I explained it was as if some things give her sensory overload and that's how I witness it in her.

How does all this tie back to my man with the silver tray?

You may be like me, and believe in rainbows because we see them (even though the physics used to explain their formation doesn't answer all our questions fully)!  Like me you probably already know from experts in the diamond trade, how hard a diamond is so we can easily believe it penetrates deep into anything it cuts, whether we see it or not.

What I'm fascinated by is why we buy certain products, or impose them upon our horses,  even though facts are lacking or aren't enough, even when it sounds like it's 'out there with the fairies'!

Maybe we make such purchasing decisions based on panic, speed, delusion, hope or belief.
In my own decision making, more and more, decisions are based on feelings not facts.  Is that my own 6th sense at work?  

I enjoy thinking about the effects decisions have on us.  More important than any facts or stats about rainbows or diamonds, is the effect that a rainbow or brilliant diamond can have on our hearts and minds, maybe even our soul.

That uplifting, stop you in your tracks, compelling you to take a mental or actual photo, effect!  Even though we've seen hundreds of rainbows, and may not be materialistically impressed by a 2 carat bit of bling, the radiance and beauty of a rainbow or diamond is hard to ignore and harder to forget.

Naturally I hope that my diamond infused creams will work magic on my face and hands.  I hope that my faith in buying them and in administering homoeopathic pills for Essy and Minxy, is well placed.

I hope that I will continue to be asked difficult questions that sound easy until you try to answer!

I hope that every day conversation raises more challenges and insight to bring closer to the realms of 'normality' the very things today considered, bonkers!

Until then, look out for me below the nearest rainbow or grinding an old engagement ring into a tub of E45!

Clinging On!

Why do people follow the word or practice of others, with the fervor of a religious calling?

In this post the question posed is for us 'horsey folk' to consider our devotion to any horse training techniques, be that "natural" or 'other.'

It is irrelevant to this post what any individual training technique is, or who the teacher is.  I am not about to rain on someone's parade by condemning any method or style of horsemanship.

I simply want to pose questions around what lies beneath our own behaviour when we cling to methods, heroes or gadgets, especially when those methods get challenged and we fight hard NOT to listen, clinging to it, as if it provides the only truth!

What might surprise us is that often our 'followership' of a method or technique runs much deeper than simply buying into the logic behind it, or the attraction of the results it creates.  Let's explore...
 
We all have the potential to house a strong desire to remain who we are (our unique identity), even if that causes us problems such as addictions, religious fanaticism, victim mindset, or loser. Siblings fight to differentiate themselves, children fight to 'be seen' by their parents and spouses fight 'not to be changed' by t'other!

We want to be ourselves and remain true to that! (Or, at least be true to the person we think we are and see as ourselves).

Who we are and what we believe in, originates from our past - our early childhood years.  However, we've forgotten to remember that almost nothing that was going on in our lives and environment back then, still applies today!  Most things have dramatically changed.  Many of the people who were early 'influencers' on our thinking and behaviour aren't around anymore.

Most of us don't re-visit our childhood born beliefs to evaluate if they are still useful today. 

Why not?  What are we afraid of?

First of all, knowing who we are provides certainty; we know our role and our place in life, society our family and home. We also know what to do in certain situations and we become predictable to others (which others like).  Once we believe something (for example 'nice girls don't boast' or 'hard work brings just rewards'),  such beliefs become like a backbone supporting us, which makes us very resistant to change them.

Additionally, as social animals our identity and beliefs help us to take our place in the herd. Without it, we cannot relate or bond. Social exclusion seems to be worse for many of us, than any of the complaints resulting from a problematic identity and belief system - including addictions, crime, or a victim mentality. 

In other words,  on a subconscious level as long as we are someone and belong to a social system or group, we can live on, however problematic. (Also explains why on Face Book someone wanted to know "who is Debbie Percy" as if I had to be a 'somebody' to voice my questions about the legitimacy of the Horseman's Calling Event).

Joining in with and belonging to horse groups and specific training methods can lead us to attend Tours, Demos, Events and Rallys where other like-minded disciples can hang out together... 

After all, there's safety in numbers and we can't all be wrong! Right?

It can also lead us to rise up, speak out and defend such a group against any criticism (valid or otherwise) but why? Why bother? Why get angry? Why spend time blogging, posting etc?

I think it has to be explained simply.  Amongst all our complex beliefs, personality factors and motives, a lot of the time humans (horsey or otherwise) have a need to be right.  We hate it when we are wrong, at home or work.  It's as if being right somehow validates who we are and in turn, our very existence.

If we stopped to think it through, I am sure we would have a quick private giggle at our own folly!  I don't know about you, but I'd rather be happy than right! I'd rather have a unique, real, connection with my horses than simply copy what someone else does!

So exactly what is the problem in defending something you believe in?  

Nothing on the face of it, except that history shows us it's danger when taken to its extreme and leads to violence, wars, civil unrest, oppression or revolution and cruelty to ones own kind.

Extremes occur when we lack balance. Balance often comes from perspective - a change of; a difference in; or a fresh one!

If we are to develop our awareness as humans to really connect with horses, then growth comes when we embrace our problems as agents for our growth.

So, instead of being furious about someone's criticisms of something you follow, why not be curious? Why not step back and think about what they see (even if we don't see it like that)?  Why not see it from another view point and THEN decide to poo poo it or not?  My mum always used to say...

"pass your exams first, then you can criticize the exam system"

Why should we step back and think before we attack or defend?

No one has to! It's always our choice.  But, if we continue to attempt to protect ourselves from the problem of others opinions not agreeing with our own, it can end up running your life.  Both the problem, and the pattern!  I have seen this in my own life but it took 35 years before I noticed!

Until I opened my eyes, I had been full time employed in the pursuit of proving my independence and my disdain for commitment or marriage -regardless of the views of others close to me.  I had my career and I pursued that with conviction - I had a ladder to climb!

I climbed that ladder but soon fell out of love with the view! Suddenly the very thing I had fought tooth and nail to defend, held no value and seemed rather silly in the grand scheme of life!

My fear of not being good enough, others knowing more than me, making bad decisions or simply getting it all 'wrong' had run my life and limited what I could see from the windows of my mind.

It's actually quite exhausting having to think about yourself all the time!  

The constant inner chitter chatter that rises up to make us attack another's view, or follow someone else without checking if it's still relevant, is usually born from fear.  An example of that fear might be anxiety around trust.  So, once we place our trust in Monty, Pat Parelli, Mark Rashid, Carolyn Resnick or Debbie Percy - we don't want to be exposed and have to go through the process of trusting, all over again.

We want to be right!  We want to be safe!  We need a Guarantee!

I soon realised that every time I was trying to make myself feel better (or right) it meant I wasn't ok inside!  When our psyche needs protecting,  we often seek false sanctuary with others, in a blessed place (aka the Demo or Tour).  Of course it provides no safety, the criticisms exist outside that space and are waiting for us on our return. 

Yet we don't have to devout our life to satisfying our psyche (inner chitter chatter)! A naturally healthy body and mind is one that just does what it's supposed to do while we go about our business.  The mind is supposed to come up with thoughts.  That includes questions.  It is intended to work with imagination and analysis.  Not just one instead of the other!  It is a computer, a tool. It is NOT us!

Our mind can be used to ponder great thoughts, solve scientific problems and serve humanity.  The good news is that there is no monopoly on how we can serve humanity or who knows best!  Our brains are capable of building on what others have created or invented before us, and taking that to the next level.  We are constantly evolving and this includes, our methods of training and how to "be" with our horses.

When we resist 'new', 'different' we resist this natural evolution.  It makes no sense to fear it. It's perfectly natural!

I believe that most of us in the horse world can live together side by side even when our minds fire off in different directions.  It is what's driving our hearts that unites us.  Perhaps it is time to start listening to our hearts before we start talking or attacking.  I know when I wrote my blog about the Horseman Calling Competition it was in my heart that felt I had to. I just used my head and brain to express what my heart was sensing! I tried to understand the goals, intention and process behind the event in order to know if it was calling me to attend it.

We may still not agree with one another when we listen to our hearts before our heads, but we might realise it's not worth fighting over, without first seeking to understand it further.  For me (with the Horseman Calling Event), I could not balance their focus on competition, tests and speed to back a two year old horse along side their mission of  'doing good for the horse'.  The latter resonated with my heart the former did not!  

Had I had more notice of the event happening I would have made contact with the organizers to ask some questions to deepen my understanding of the event, beyond what was on the website.  I am glad however that I had only the website to go on, as it helped me really think about what I was reading.  To improve our ability to read, listen, speak and actually notice what is being said (or not said) has to be a good thing if we are to wake up and take responsibility for what we do, who we join with and support.

Stephen Cover encourages in his Business Management books to ...

"seek first to understand; before being understood"

For over a decade I fought and resisted even looking into the work of Pat and Linda Parelli, believing it to be circus tricks and nothing more.  Two years ago that changed for me.  I have now worked with their approach, used it, found it to have value and limitations and consequences.  In summary I believe that as an approach:

- it has many positive aspects and useful learning to be shared that is of help and value for humans and horses 

- it is not however a panacea for all ills!  It is not THE way, nor the ONLY way, nor the RIGHT way.

It is simply ONE way!

The more 'enlightened' Parelli trainers know this.  They would agree.  They encourage owners to merge their approach with other ways.  To use the best from different methods and dump the rest!  That feels healthy to me.

I want to be respected by a trainer as someone with my own heart and head.  I am not a sheep and don't expect to be cast aside for not following a trainer's every whim and suggestion.  Nor do I expect to absorb what a trainer tells me as if it is gospel, because it just might not be!

When Essy spoke of Humans needing to become much more aware I wonder if he was trying to encourage us to go outside, go beyond the walls and windows of our mind to see what exists in the world beyond! Our heart can often help us in that endeavour.

I have had my best 'breakthrough' moments to escape my old limiting patterns when I have decided to lower the draw bridge and walls of my fortress. There's actually no need to continue to support, maintain or defend my fortress. My let go moments were often leaps of faith, where I followed my heart not by brain! (Just ask my husband)!!!

If you feel that more and more you are being pushed beyond your comfort zone (fortress walls) - celebrate! Every time something comes into your awareness that rocks your foundations of what you thought was right or true - be thankful!

If our horses are to be our Guides on our journey of 'waking up' we will experience these feelings more and more.  Every time we are tested, we have an opportunity to grow! That has to be 'for the good of our horses'.

Back to my question of do we want to be happy or right?  Life is going to change.  New things will happen and new opinions will appear.  The question is are we willing to be happy regardless of what happens?

Our life purpose is to enjoy life and learn from the experience.  To be happy we have to let go of melodrama.  After all, to keep things in perspective we are but a dot sitting on a planet that is floating in an empty space in a universe that goes on forever!

Does it really affect you, what I, or anyone else says unless you decide to let it?

If we are going to be here, we may as well be happy and accepting of others and their points of view. 

If we make our happiness conditional upon what others say and do, we are in real trouble! 

If we suddenly found out our hero or guru was a fraud where would that leave us?  Our core would be rocked. This is dangerous.  An antidote relys on us deliberately paying close attention to the work of gurus or experts, especially amongst any claims of the Messiah amidst us, because it matters to do so!  

With gurus and ourselves for that matter, it's not what we are doing or supporting, but how much of us is doing it!  It needs to be our whole self: body, mind, heart and soul, being present, awake, aware and accepting.

Sometimes when we discover we had been following a fraud its because they don't walk their talk 24 x 7, and we haven't being paying attention!  The clues are usually there if we are open minded enough to notice!

Putting people up on a pedestal is a risky business; there's typically one way for them to go! Being open to someone else's different perspective can help us avoid looking like a right burk later on if we've blindly following something/someone like an idol, only to find out their full transparency left something to be desired.

It is scarcity that makes things valuable or precious.  

Natural horse ways are still practiced in the minority by horse people,  but anyone calling for us to be even more in tune with the meaning of 'natural' (as we know it thus far) is a friend not a foe!  Even if their perspective seems at odds with ours or sits uncomfortably with us.  Think of Monty Roberts and how long it took for him to be accepted and not ridiculed or condemned!  

As I believe horse people share a common heart felt desire to help horses, maybe future Natural Horse Gatherings will sound more like...

Hearts calling, not Horseman calling! 

Meanwhile, why not get the most out of this life and be able to give back to our horses the best we can, from a range of options out there, following our heart, respecting our head, but not blinded by loyalty or fear!

Besides being right all the time, must be quite boring after a while?!

Help For Horses: A Human Shame

On April 16th 2014 - where were you?  Will you remember this day in 5 or 10 years time from now?  

Many of us remember the day JFK was shot, Presley died, Lennon was killed, or more recently the loss of Princess Diana.  These are days of tragedy. These are days where key figures or role models died, often prematurely, or at the hands of others.

We also recall our wedding anniversary, birthdays and even our horse's birthdays.  These are uplifting days.  Special days of celebration. 

April 16th is a day I will always remember but not solely for the above reasons.

I spent the day in London's Parliament Square protesting the important cause "Help For Horses".

In many ways the day was born from tragedy and death; specifically the needless death of horses left to starve by negligent, uncaring, irresponsible people. The kind of people who live next door to you, across the road from your mum, or who went to school with your brother.   

Yet, it was also a day of celebration where people who had listened to their heart, acted on that.

Where people put aside their own need for convenience, an easy life, the need to earn a living or simply conserve their energy,  people who got on their feet, commuted to London and stood up for something bigger than themselves.

 - They gave a voice to horses who without them, would remain unheard!

So whilst it was a day of tragedy and celebration it quickly became a day of HOPE.  It was about the future.  It provided a glimpse into what human passion and compassion can achieve for others in this case Horses.

For every person attending, for every passer by it was the first day of a new future.  A future where the life of one horse called 'Hope' who died needlessly,  too weak from malnutrition to stand, died lying in a muddy puddle ignored and invisible to passersby,  all but for a few.

If you have not come across the story of Hope and the Fosse Park Horses left to fend for themselves behind a shopping mall in Leciestershire, without adequate grazing, water, shelter and safety, then Mark Johnson's Face Book page will bring you up to speed.

As a result of one mans' eyes and heart being wide open, a few hundred of us descended on Parliament Square for a peaceful, organised protest on April 16th 2014. None of us knew what to expect or what to do nor if we could actually make a difference - but everyone felt compelled to have a go.

What made the day a tragedy beyond the needless death of Hope and the carcase of the unknown dead horse at her side, was the absence of our legal systems apparent ability to help prevent these deaths, and many others like it.

Conservative estimates to date suggest over 7000 horses in the UK are facing death by starvation and neglect.

In this country (after all we are civilized and sophisticated) we have laws to protect animals and govern their welfare. It's one of the pinnacles of being an 'animal loving' Nation.  Below, are some highlights from The Animal Welfare Act 2006:

"It is against the law to be cruel to an animal, you must also ensure that all the animal’s welfare needs are met".

"Owners are responsible for ensuring that their animals’ welfare needs are met.  These include the need:

• for a suitable environment (place to live)
• for a suitable diet
• to exhibit normal behaviour patterns
• to be housed with or apart from other animals (if applicable)
• to be protected from pain, suffering, injury and disease

"The law also increases the minimum age a person can buy an animal to 16 and prohibits giving animals as prizes to unaccompanied children under this age".

"Anyone who is cruel to an animal or does not provide for its welfare needs may be banned from owning animals, fined up to £20,000 and/or sent to prison".

Knowing this law exists, in plain easy speak English served as a catalyst to head to Parliament Square.  The tragic irony today, is that despite having laws in place to protect animals and to prevent the needless death of Hope - no one is seemingly responsible for it's enforcement! 

Most aspects of modern Government requires visibility and transparent reporting.  This means data management and statistical monitoring of how the laws are being in forced or helping rectify a wrong.  Crime stats, unemployment levels, benefit fraud, disability levels, Council spending are all monitored and reported to the Public. What are the Animal Welfare statistics?  Who measures and monitors an improvement in animal care?  When are statistics released? 

With any situation be that in Business, Government or domestic home life, if something is agreed upon - someone is given or takes responsibility for doing it!  They are held accountable. The results of their work can be called upon to be demonstrated.  So, in the UK, today...

WHO is responsible for the number of horse deaths, each year?

Maybe the day we have such a key performance indicator for animal welfare, we will find someone willing to drive necessary improvement and change.  Find someone who understands that pretty words and documents alone, won't stop the suffering of our horses.

Monitoring the end result will be only half the job.  Members of the general public who stopped to talk to us at the protest suggested we lobby for laws to make it harder for people to own a horse in the first place.  Good idea, why not?  Currently you don't need a license to have a horse.  No proof needed of a suitable living environment, financial means to support a horse for life, or any written test to show you actually know what you are doing and know how to look after one. 

Horse ownership is all too easy.  Horse abandonment is even easier.   

This is why we spent the day voicing our call for 'help' and action.

Returning home after a day like April 16th can be anti-climatic. On this occasion, for me it wasn't.

Although most of us were emotionally tired we were also spiritually refreshed. Many of us hit the pub for a swift 'half' relieved we weren't the only ones that had turned up on the day!  Others of us sat up late chatting on face book sharing the days' photos and videos with new found friends from the day.

I felt confident that every person there that day knew this was the beginning.  A plan to move us forward from here will emerge.  Mark Johnson is not alone and can not be left to single handedly take it forward.   He should however be very proud of having stood up and created a space into which others could also show up, join the call,  and cumulatively put our humanity to good use.

Members of the public who stopped and spoke with us on the day, shared their shock and horror at the realisation that our so called Great Nation could be so backward, so uncaring.  Women openly cried at the pictures we held of dying, suffering horses and the cruelty of human complacency.

Tourists alike be they Germans or Scandinavians that I personally spoke with were in disbelief that our Queen isn't doing something about it.

"The only time she smiles is when she is watching her horses race" said one tourist to me.

Maybe the queen's head is stuck in the royal sand along with much of the public, and many fellow horse owners. As with other posts on this blog Awareness is the first step.  A step we have taken and will continue to take as it's not a 'one hit wonder'.

No-one from the public could see any rational for blaming the current plight on the failing Economy, the Police or inadequate Animal welfare charities, it's actually more simple than that.  The Laws exist.  We have the Laws to protect and prevent.  The issue is no one is enforcing the Law. 

A German family asked me if taking our horses to slaughter wasn't better than chaining them to a lamp post without food or water?

A Scandinavian family asked me "why do people have horses in England if they are not taking care of them for life?"

Both are good questions.  It seems as a nation everything is too simple; having a horse, and ditching a horse!  We are a nation of 'throw it away, get another' and with the ease of replacing an old shoe our countryside is now adorned with unwanted sofas or fridges, and now Horses too!

What can you do - today, tomorrow regardless of your age, health or financial means?

Put an end to Horse Tipping! 

 

Put an end to suffering, neglect and abandonment

 

by....

1. Keeping your eyes open and your senses aware of any horse in distress.  
2. Check it out further.  
3. Report it to the police, RSPCA, local vet AND horse sanctuary.  
4. Don't stop there, take photos, contact your local press.  
5. Expose!
6. NAME AND SHAME - as one member of the general public suggested. 

(A more comprehensive, official plan of action will I am sure be forthcoming, but till then those are my thoughts).

In my own words, from a life spent in corporate business environments one thing for sure is that it is the 'squeaky wheel that gets the grease'.  We have to be that squeaky wheel, and keep on squeaking to get the traction on this Law, that all horses deserve!

April 14th, 2014  was a day for  the Horse, in this year of the Horse.  

For your horse, mine, a friend's horse, and all those horses yet to be born,

It was and will be a day to remember! 

It was a day I felt my own passion and love come to the fore, 

There will be many more great such days to come. 

For More Information on the Animal Welfare Act:

www.defra.gov.uk
Helpline - 08459 335577

When Friends know better than the FEI

Last night I posted on Face Book the shame I am feeling at any association I have (by default or definition) with the Equine world and in particular people who are supposed to know what they are doing - and clearly do not!  

This was in response to the images of a Danish Dressage horse marked by spur dents in his side, and being ridden with a blue tongue; the circulation cut off by a double bridle. 

The horse is called Akeem Foldage.

The International Grand Prix rider is Andreas Helgstrand.

Here are some of the images shared via social media:

Andreas Helgstrand

international Grand Prix rider Andreas Helgstrand

international Grand Prix rider Andreas Helgstrand

The reported Facts:
 

• The photos were taken at an event that took place in front of the President of the Danish FEI and on site Vet.
• 
  
• The rider was that President's son. 
• 
  
• The horse's owner was present and watching.  
•  

As no onlooker, rider, owner, vet or trainer was blind or blinkered Ive been asking myself ...

• 
  
• Do those three people feel shame or remorse?  
•  
• Will they change their riding or training methods? 
•  
• Will they be humbled by public reaction?
•  
• Will they pay attention in the future to a horses' needs?   
• 
  
• Can they see the damage for themselves or are they fast asleep?
•  
• Are they capable of opening their eyes and seeing the living animal in front of them injured by spurs and force?
•  
• Can they learn?
•  
• Will future role models emerge with a wallet, ability and a heart or conscience? 

It is easy to feel overwhelmed by the inhumanity of our own species.  To feel outrage at the ego of any man and his apparent obsession with either fame, winning or just plain 'showing off' that results in such actions, without conscience or consequence.

I hope beyond hope that there is a consequence for this public display of the worst aspects of dressage - which is NOT a picture of horse and human in balletic harmony. 

I have lost faith in mainstream vets over the last 12 months and wonder if in future horses and horse welfare would not be better served by the presence of an Animal Welfare Officer at events instead of, or alongside the Vet?

 If the Welfare Officer can't find the Vet please send him to look in the 'sight impaired seat section'!

I have commented before on a post about the worry of 'bad people' in the world outnumbering the 'good ones'.  I don't want to dwell in a zone of negativity,  so to provide a balance, I recently had two great encounters with fellow livery friends.

This is what they shared with me about a recent break through moment each one had:

The first was a text conversation that went like this (my comments in green, my friend's in white):

we carried on..

So, as we have said before "less is more" when it comes to horses and really understanding how to be equals and show respect and appreciation or love for them.

Whilst usually I am not a fan of resorting to a new gadget to fix an issue, this lady intuitively went to a different bridle contoured around the shape of the horse's head and location of it's veins.  Instead of clamping her horse's mouth shut tight or getting a stronger bit (which many people would opt to do) - she backed off, did the opposite and got a terrific result back!

My second encounter over coffee at Starbucks was to hear of another friend who has decided to go Bit less.  Having ridden her dressage horse for ten years and learnt to accept her horse's tongue hangs out of the side of her mouth, she made the discovery that when lunged in a head collar.... no floppy tongue!

Unlike the FEI or Vets,  her eyes were wide open!  She actually saw this change in behaviour in her horse and questioned why?  She stopped, and thought.

As a result of connecting the dots, she is now on a new path of bit less riding, and a new path of connection with her horse.  She is listening to her horse and all she had to do to be able to hear her horse, was put her own ego to one side and make the following 2 decisions:

1 - not to worry or care about what others think or say of her decision

2 - not to pressurize herself to compete, get her horse fit or comply with any other expectation carved out by onlookers

Good for her, and even better.... "good for her horse!"

I recently wrote about the hypocrisy (as I saw it) of an event labelled 'for the good of the horse', I can honestly say that in my opinion, these two ladies have done more for the good of their horse than any "Horseman Calling" Competition. They are both examples of great role models for future owners and riders.

Maybe competitions are at the root of a lot of our troubles.

Maybe in the future we need to walk a lone path, rather than do what everyone else does.  Perhaps chosing the road less trodden will allow us to find freedom from unhealthy comparison and ego driven competition.

I am deafened by the enticing prospect of horsey people getting closer to a connection with horses by following the kind hearted actions of friends, and not the 'stuff and nonsense' of the FEI, BHS or any other form of organised body of Negligence.

Through the eyes of a horse: back to basics

I often wonder how it must feel to be a horse?  

How what must feel? 

Everything!

How do our human voices sound to them?  How loud is loud?  Do they hear bird song the same way we do or is it different through their ears?

How hot, prickly and claustrophobic must they feel in leg bandages, wraps, boots and rugs?

How does it feel to wear a head-collar, bridle and be pulled around by your head?

We know how sensitive their bodies are to a fly landing on them, but below that fur do they feel wind as wind like we do, and detect the difference between a warm breeze or cool chill? Or is it just wind?

Does a morning's soggy dew covered grass feel wet to their feet?  Is it a cold horrid damp on their muzzle, or is it refreshing and vitalising, or something else?

Is wearing a saddle and girth similar to how I feel wearing tights and bras - constrained and as if I can't breathe (yes I get claustrophobic feet in tights see earlier post)!

How does it feel to be isolated from your own species?  Left alone for hours in a stable?  Patted and stroked by gnarly human hands without invitation?

How does a slap feel to them?  How deep does the sting resonate? 

What about the grating sound of metal scraping forks, barrows and harrows?

When you stop to think, there must be so much discord for them in the human environment and that's before cars, motorbikes, yapping dogs, booming radios and doors slamming get added in!  Surely it's time to be curious about this quiet quality of our horses and consider what gifts in us it could open up if we just noticed it and got in step!

When I need to work, focus, concentrate or be creative, I seek out a quiet place usually with just the sound of bird song or the oceans waves as background.

When I'm physically unwell or emotionally down its a walk in nature that usually provides the most relief.

Have we stripped away too much of what nature has to offer with modern life?  Have we buried the world's natural healing capability below blankets of machinery, vehicles and technology? Have we gone a step too far?  If we haven't yet - will we know when and if we do?

A friend came to visit the horses last night.  All three of my herd came into the menage for some light exercise.  We watched and discuss their movement and how well they were all moving.  No body looked in pain.  Yet, I explained, the problem with horses is that if they were in pain for example Essy having a head ache right now - they would most likely try to conceal it.  Showing physical weakness if you are a prey animal heightens your risk of being eaten! So they learn to conceal pain well.

This served as yet another reminder for me of just  how quiet, a horse is.  

They don't yelp like a dog does when injured or hit.  They don't bark to sound the alarm or whimper to get attention.  They don't purr like cats or imitate sounds like a budgerigar.  They are truly quiet animals.

Doesn't it make you wonder if we owe them some quiet times back?  To become a better carer/ rider/ owner who recognises this peace loving quality horses have and to do all we can to provide that for them, as much as we can, as often as we can?

Maybe in the process we would quieten ourselves, our minds, our movements as we slow everything down.

Imagine creating a simple new daily routine of a 3 minute ritual of doing and saying nothing with your horse each time you arrive at the yard/field.  No stroking, touching, chitter chatter - just 3 minutes of NOTHING.

Try it at home now - it will no doubt seem like an eternity and may even feel irritating!  Or, for some it will feel calming and wonderful.  For all of us this simple task can bring massive health benefits and lucid thinking.  For all of us it CAN and WILL feel fabulous - but first we have to get past the irritation stage. The only way to do that is to keep practising!

On my website (Jigsawequine.com) there is a free 3 minute meditation to download.  It's a script for you to print, read and either memorise (the gist only) or record into your phone to have on hand.

When I use this meditation at seminars it never fails to dazzle people with the wonderful calming effect it has on them.  It NEVER fails - now how often can we make a claim like that in life!

Last night as my friend and I worked on Solar's Heart Meridian, we talked aloud to each other.  I was conscious of our talking as it was not something I would normally allow myself to do while in a healing treatment with her.  However, there were exceptional circumstances last night.  But, towards the end of the healing, as I stood up to finish the treatment and do the 'close down ritual' with Solar Sue, we both fell silent and stopped talking.

There it was!  In that wonderful space of pure silence, Solar went into a deep healing state.  Her head lowered, her muzzle twitched and as her eyes closed, mine did too, as she relaxed and breathed out so did both humans.

No one moved or spoke it was pure silence and togetherness - you could not have bottled it and sold it to be any better! 

My friend's comments "wow, I feel so privileged to have shared that moment"!  

.....What a wonderful tribute to Solar Sue and to the power of wanting to help heal one another.


What did I hear in her words?  The sound of a spiritual lady who should be around horses as much as possible for her sake and for theirs!

As a contrast  I began to wonder how each of the "3 Human Myth carriers" in my earlier post might have reacted and what their words might have sounded like.  That is,  if they would have even stayed to be part of the experience or would they have dashed off to smooch with another horse, fluff up a bank, or drive home bored?

Just maybe... Silence is Golden and we really are making life too complicated for both ourselves and our horses!  Its certainly giving me some good food for thought about the direction I'm heading towards and quickly!

Another great 'wake up' moment - thanks Claire!